Disclaimer: Nope, no Twilight

Disclaimer: Nope, no Twilight.

Author's Note: So, this chapter is for three people's birthdays (two fictional, one real). Renesmee on September 10, Mikayla, my sister and co-writer, September 12, and Bella on September 13. Happy Birthday, Sissy and two random fictional characters!

For Mikayla's birthday, she is getting to pick what goes on in this chapter, so blame her if it's bad. Just kidding! XD Breaking Dawn spoilers…sort of…

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Alice bounced happily around the room, when suddenly the wall in the front room of the Cullen home blew up.

"That was weird." Alice hopped over to where there was now a gaping hole in the wall. "Hello!" She called down into the hole.

"HIIIIYYYYAAAA!" The reply was loud and annoy, but not familiar. Not even a second later a woman tugging on the arm of a man came through the hole. "HIIII!" She laughed, waving.

"Umm…"Alice glanced around for the pepper spray. Darn Jasper for playing with it. "Hi." She waved timidly.

"Do you know who I am?" The woman asked, giggling.

Alice shook her head. She really didn't want to know. This girl was just as hyper as her, thus imposing on her stereotypical role in this story. That didn't fly well with Alice, and so as she stood watching the woman with the man, she formulating a plan to blow them up with Esme's rocket launcher.

"I'm The Third Wif- Wait, seriously." The woman stopped. "No one remembers my name? Seriously? I sacrifice my self to save my husband and kids and everyone can remember them, but me!" She pointed to herself. "I'm the Third Wife, seriously?"

"I don't have a first name…Well, unless you consider the letter J a first name." The man tried to comfort his companion.

"I thought your name was Jason." Alice raised both an eyebrow and the rocket launcher.

"No." He denied the name. "My name is Franklin. It's just somehow everyone thinks Franklin is spelled with a J. It's so weird."

"Oh." Alice loaded the rocket launcher.

"That still doesn't fix the fact that I don't have a name anymore!" The Thir-ouch, she punched me- woman said.

Billy, like his son, fell into the seen from the sky, wheelchair and all. "Your name was…umm…Let me think…Nancy."

"Nancy?" She ran over and took the rocket launcher from Alice. "Can I borrow this?"

"To get rid of Nancy, sure." Alice let her have it.

The woman who was not Nancy aimed the rocket launcher at Billy. "What was my name again?" She growled.

He looked nervously around the room. "Umm…well, you see…your name has been lost to history. I've very sorry."

"Make. One. Up." Not Nancy was getting very impatient. Her finger brushed over the trigger, aiming for a direct hit. If she had learned nothing else while being dead, it was how to shoot a rocket launcher. She had taken lessons in her afterlife with some Sarah Black (coughJake'smommycough) chick.

Billy glanced over to Alice and Franklin who were now dancing idiotically over in the corner because they were getting bored with the whole give me a name crap.

"Wee!" The two squealed.

Just tell her the first thing you think of. Billy thought to himself. He was about to speak, when Jacob used his amazingly awesome super deliciously funky groovy fall through the ceiling and into the scene currently taking place just because he can.

And so, Jake fell through the ceiling and landed in the room.

"Hello, Cleveland!" He bowed. "Thank you, Houston. I'll be here all week."

"Jacob!" Billy said surprised.

"Jacob? That's my name?" Anti-Nancy looked confused, but then shrugged. "I like it. Sounds like an italics loving shape shifter name. Good choice."

Billy let out a breath of relief.

"Wait." Jacob looked confused. "You're Jacob?" He asked the newly crowned Jacob. "Then who am I?"

Alice took the rocket launcher back. "You're Nancy." Alice answered him.

"I am?" He turned to her. "I could have sworn I was Jacob last I checked." He bit his lip and cupped his in a pondering pose.

"When was the last time you check?" Franklin asked, grabbing a hold of Alice's arm again, so they could dance again.

"Hmm…Last Tuesday." Shock filled his face. "Oh no! The pink polka dotted elephant must have changed my name when I wasn't paying attention! Darn elephant!"

"Question." Alice raised her hand, Jacob, who is now possibly Nancy, gave her his attention. "Do you have vivid dreams that you think are real? Or are you just nuts?"

"I am not nuts. I'm definitely like an almond, which is only one nut. Thank you very much." He crossed his arms. "And the elephant was real."

"Ok." Alice patted him on the shoulder. "You know. I know a nice place for people like you. Well, there is some random vampire personal, but other than that, it's a pretty nice place." She smiled.

"It's alright, Nancy." The new Jacob patted him on the head.

"So, I am Nancy." He knew he had to accept it. Not only for the fact that it was his name now, but also for the fact that Franklin now had the rocket launcher pointed at his head and was whispering 'Take the stupid name or I'll shoot you' in his ear.

At that moment, a pink polka dotted elephant walked through the room where everyone was standing.

"Oh sorry. Please continue." The elephant apologized. "Hi, Nancy." The elephant waved its trunk.

Nancy/Jake waved back. "Hey!"

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Author's Note: I'm not entirely sure what that was…it just was….

Oh, not that you guys care. But Erica started soccer and she's on a co-ed team of five-year-olds. There's a Jacob and an Edward and according to my sister, Jacob is loud, obnoxious and harasses Edward and Edward is quiet and likes to analyze everything. She said that Erica kept saying, "There's something strange about those two.". It was kind funny.