Disclaimer: No, we do not own Twilight in the least. It's probably a good thing, though.
Author's Note: This is sort of another take on a previous chapter we've already had…'Where's My Newborn'…My sister and I saw quite a coincidence in Breaking Dawn…
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Edward looked frantically around, but he couldn't locate her. Where was she? Where could she have gone?
"I've lost my newborn!" He was running around the house, knocking everything over and smashing things as he went. "I've lost my newborn!"
"Oh, Edward," Alice walked over holding Renesmee. "Renesmee right here." Alice nuzzled her gently with her nose, before handing her to Edward.
"Eww…what is this crap?" He held Renesmee upside-down by the foot. "This is not (Jacob giggle) my newborn."
"Yes, it is." She took Renesmee off of him and flipped her right side up again, then handed her back to Edward. "Take your newborn."
"This is not my newborn." He pushed the infant back towards Alice. "Take it away. It's hideous."
At that moment, Bella walked in; crimson eyes, blood dripping from her lips, her eighteen-year-old beautiful and graceful body. Now, that was the kind of newborn he was talking about. Who wanted a smelly baby, when you could have a bloodthirsty, sexy newborn vampire?
"MY NEWBORN!" Edward ran over and hugged her, skipping away happily.
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Author's Note: Can't beat the original, but still an interesting concept to consider. Edward's got his newborns – both vampire and infant.