Author's Note: The time has come for the final Cullen Moment.
And, as most things do, we decided to end it with a bang.
So, here you go…
Disclaimer: We do not own Twilight. Or EZ Tip Calculators. Or TI Inspires. Or Prius. Or Demi Lovato (You know what's funny? For how much we didn't like Camp Rock, we've fallen madly in love with Sonny with a Chance. We actually really like Demi now. Oh the irony.). Or Shark Boy and Lava Girl. Or Little Debbie cupcakes. Or Cedric Diggory. Or Low by Flo-Rida. Or Webkinz. Or Teletubbies. Or Where's Waldo?. Or eHarmony. Or Viva Pinata. Or E-bay. Or Wal-Mart. Or Jeep.
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BANG! (The end)
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Author's Note: I told you we'd end with a bang, didn't I? Well, okay I decided to do a bit of an epilogue to really close up this story. It's kind of a 'where are they now?' section. You'll now learn where all of your favorite participates in A Cullen Moment ended up after this story ended. We'll be starting with some of our favorite characters, then slowly moving down to the more main characters in the series. So now, without further interruption, we, Wolf Babies (Marina and Mikayla), proudly present A Cullen Moment: The Epilogue.
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Sam Uley
Three years after this story ended, Sam's paperclip was eventually stolen by a wild mongoose, who fled into the woods just outside of La Push. Sam blamed Emily (aka That Woman who is trying to destroy him) for all that had happened to his beloved paperclip. His paranoia steadily increased. He now wears four bulletproof vests, eight pairs of spandex leggings, a fez, earmuffs, and hiking boots at all times to protect himself.
Sam still does not like Demi Lovato after the whole incident at the concert.
Emily Young
Purchased more 'Expanded Wolf' clothing just a few months ago and is planning on buying more for her hubby. She has to deal with Sam's paranoia constantly still. Bless her.
Embry Call
Failed wellness, and had to take it again the next year. He cringed when the lesson on medicinal leeches came up. And no one ever did admit to being his father.
Aro (Doesnthavealastnameawitz)
Was accepted as part of the Seth, Pimp Master of Forks, ganster nation. He now goes only by the name 'Arizzle', and is still trying to destroy the horror that is Teletubbies.
Marcus (Nolastname)
Is refusing to help Embry find his father.
Seth Clearwater
Is still the current Pimp Master of Forks. He's got the ladies. He doesn't need anything else.
Leah Clearwater
After joining the basketball league has learned she hates basketball. She still can't stand her brother's pimp-ness.
The Third Wife
Is still looking for her name.
Jared (Nolastnameski)
Is still some kind of woodland god, and is now a sexy swimsuit model. And still loves TI Inspire Graphing Calculators.
Paul (Nonombre)
Is still trying to figure out how to use the EZ tip calculator on his phone.
Charlie Swan
Has misplaced his offspring…again. But who really cares at this point?
Billy Black
Is still wondering why Jacob has such a fondness to dog treats and drinking from the toilet.
Connor, Phil, Rachael and Rebecca (Their last names just don't matter anyway.)
Actually did something productive in the series.
Mike Newton
Mike tried to break away from the cookie making art, but he couldn't. Once you're an elvish cookie maker, you're an elvish cookie maker for life. Jasper still believes that he is incredibly tasty. Jasper salivates whenever he is around.
Also, he still suffers from cooties.
Carrots, the Pony
The void in Edward's heart will never be filled.
Fluffy, the cat of Carlisle's that Emmett ate, Princess, Carlisle's the vampire cat, and the box of kittens left on the Cullen's doorstep
Rest in peace, Fluffy and Princess. As for the box of kittens…let's just say Emmett had a nice dinner one night…
Patricia, the Walrus
Still has affection for Jacob, even though she cheated on him with Paul.
Jasper's Piñata Friends
Are still Cullen Bop's biggest fans.
The Pandas Emmett and Jasper Educated
Still currently rule the world. Obey the panda overlord.
Ben (Nonameawiz)
Still thinks lemons taste like Pine Sol.
Angela Weber
Now likes lemon in her liver salad.
Jessica Stanley
Has yet to recover from the lemon incident.
Quil Ateara
Is still trying to teach Claire how to use the potty. Also, he continually cherishes the shirt with Claire pee on it.
Claire (Lastnamedoesntexistski)
Isn't potty trained yet.
Esme Cullen
Finally has gotten her rocket launcher back from Renesmee after she tried to use it on Jacob and her parents. Currently still is Renesmee's favorite grandmother. She has recently started production on her own superhero spin off show entitled, Free Fallin': The Story of a Mother With a Rocket Launcher (A/N: Jacob…for the love of peaches. Give up on the italics.).
Carlisle Cullen
Is still a sexy Little Debbie cupcake model. He has just a few months ago patented the 'Unbabyanator', and is working on his next stroke of genius. He has yet get over his mid-life crisis and kept the plastic surgery. He doesn't look so OLD anymore. He also still refers to the children at Jacob's school as 'blood sausages'. It's like his own little pet name for them.
As for his cats, he is thinking about getting a new one, but doesn't know if he wants to relive the memories of Fluffy and Princess. They were such good little kitties…until Emmett brutally ate them.
Carlisle, Billy, and Charlie's threesome (aka World's Sexist Men Make the World's Sexiest Love Triangle (A/N: Jacob, stop laughing)) sadly split a few months after the conclusion of this story.
And he has yet to admit that he did indeed name Edward's pony Carrots.
Rosalie Cullen
Is still waiting to be paid for her work as Sexy Babe in the Capricious Cullens movie.
After stealing the mirror out of Edward's room, being told that Jacob was far more vain than her, and having to read that horrible children's book Emmett wrote, Rosalie tried to remove herself from this story to put more attention into things that mattered. Also known as herself. She failed miserably due to that fact that she was forced into later chapters, but it was a good try. She received an E for effort.
She is currently spending her days trying to become more vain than Jacob, which is a full time job.
Alice Cullen
Has bought more Webkinz. She tried to change Bella back into a five-year-old with the Babyanator, just so she'd have her Bella baby doll again, but Edward had fit, saying something about ponies and car whistles.
Sadly, Alice's tramcar broke down not three seconds after the filming of the Capricious Cullens movie. She has been trying to find a replacement, but no luck yet. She put up an ad in the local paper for that as well as a horribly tacky lampshade. Jacob just doesn't satisfy that need anymore. Stupid piece of poop.
On a better note, her talk show, 'The Alice Show', has reached a trillion viewers and pwns face when it comes to the Nelson ratings.
Renesmee Cullen
Continually goes the bathroom on Jacob, though she is completely potty trained.
After receiving the Prius from her parents, she demanded they give her back her pink Barbie car. She threatened to go to college early. Instead of waiting until she was seven months old, she would only wait until she was six and a half months old. Edward, or Ed as she calls him, freaked out and convinced her to stay by buying her a new teddy bear she named, Seth-Jacob-Leah-Sam-Embry-Paul-Quil-Brady-Collin-Jared. She liked to call him Secobeasbrulilradllied for short.
Esme is still her favorite grandmother and she still can't figure out why an idiot like Jacob imprinted on her. She demands a recount.
Jasper Cullen
Continued to educate pandas with Emmett. Jasper a long, long time ago gave up on Viva Piñata, but that didn't keep his piñata friends away. They, the piñatas and Jasper, are all currently living in a small cottage in Norway, where Jasper always wanted to go.
Jasper pondered once about joining the track team again, but gave up the idea when he was offered a starring role on Esme's superhero spin off show. He reprised his role as The Stupid Confederate, and recently won an Emmy for 'Best Confederate Portrayal in a Spin Off Series'. He also just sold the Enigma Engine on E-bay for sixty-three cents.
Waldo still loves Jasper more than Emmett.
Emmett Cullen
Is just barely smarter than the average bear.
Emmett a few years after the completion of this story realized what had had happened to his smart glasses. He then drove his Jeep angrily to Jacob's house, and forced him to drive him to the nearest Wal-Mart to buy another pair of glasses. Why Emmett couldn't just drive himself to Wal-Mart was too hard for anyone to comprehend, so they just didn't try to figure it out.
Emmett fixed his Babyanator a few weeks ago, only to have it be destroyed by Edward, when Alice tried to change Bella into a five-year-old.
Emmett now spends most of his eternal days searching for Waldo within in his ten second attention span, begging Jacob to shape shift into a beard that he can wear (since he can't grow his own), building a new time machines (He's planning to go back in time to play with dinosaurs. And make an omelet in the eighteen hundreds and freak everybody out with his amazing skill.), taking random bathroom breaks he doesn't need, and working on his Super Emmett theme song.
Emmett also still writes fanfiction (or should I say, fantruth). His latest story being a sequel to Jacob's romance with a walrus, entitled: The Double W: A Wolf and A Walrus (A/N: Jacob, I swear I'm going to kick you.).
Bella Swan-Cullen
Has yet to get over the whole Demi Lovato thing.
Bella soon realized after this story that she was in fact married to Cedric Diggory. This caused her to freak out each and every time she saw Edward. Her fan girl screech was so loud it not only deafened the already deaf, but it also has broken glass as well.
Her best friend is Shark Bo—I mean – Jacob. Even if he loves himself, and Patricia, the walrus, more than her.
Bella is still Edward's favorite newborn.
Edward Cullen
Hates this story more than undead/eternal life itself.
Edward found out about the eHarmony account that Jasper and Emmett started, and nearly tore them apart and burned them with a campfire, when he found out only Shark Boy (Jacob) responded. He knew already knew Jacob loved him, he didn't need everyone on eHarmony to know.
He, two years ago, accepted that he was Cedric Diggory and accepted Seth's offer to join his gangsta nation. Now, between Seth, Aro, and Edward, there is enough sexy in Forks to name it the nation's sexy capital.
His womanly tendencies have yet lighten up. He still constantly puts his hands on his hips and carries around a man bag.
Edward recently found out that Bella's favorite flavor of pancake was eggs. He made her some three days ago, and she ate them. And then she vomited them back up because she's a vampire now, so it really doesn't matter that he finally learned her favorite kind of pancake.
Edward is looking into purchasing another pony.
And now, for the main character of this story….
Jacob Black
Is more in love with italics than ever.
After the completion of this story, Jacob took a few years off from the italicized spotlight to focus on more important things in the world, like himself. He has now officially become the most vain and self-centered person in the world. He sends pictures to himself in the mail, just so he everyday has the surprise of opening his mail to see his sexy-ness.
He is very lovesick when it comes to Renesmee, and takes her beatings as her way of expressing her love. He even kept the pimp status after the whole "Pimp My Ride" incident.
As for Shark Boy, his Lava Girl (Carlisle) has abandoned him, leaving him to sulk and be depressed. But then he remembered that Cedric Diggory had given him all of his fan girls, and that girls finally liked him. He was so excited that he wet the carpet in the Cullen mansion. Emmett and Jasper were horrified after they had spent six years housetraining him.
Renesmee and Jake still love the song Low by Flo-Rida. It's going to be their wedding song in three weeks when they get married. Jake will be age seventeen and Renesmee will be three weeks old. It's going to be the most illegal wedding ever, but who cares? She looks about twenty. It's all about the face value.
Jacob wears his Expanded Wolf pants every once in awhile. They're very roomy and breathe really well.
Did I mention Jacob LOVES italics?
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Author's Note: And I pretty sure that's everyone. Or at least everyone we want to write….
Well, okay… We just wanted to say THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! It has been amazing writing this story and we would have never probably gotten pasted the like tenth chapter if we didn't have such great fans cheering us on. You guys are seriously the most epically amazing people ever!
I know it took us forever to do this final update, but you don't even know how much it means to us that you guys spent the time reading, reviewing, favoriting, alerting, or whatever else you did with this story. THANK YOU! One hundred chapters, over two-hundred favorites, six communities, and over seventeen-hundred reviews….wow, you guys are awesome! :D
We can never express to you enough how grateful we are! This final installment is dedicated to all of you guys. You really deserve so much more, but this is the best we could do.
Who would have thought that a story that started out as Mikayla's eighth grade history project (yeah, that's right, this story began as a history project) would turn into this?
THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU again from the bottom of our hearts.
-Marina and Mikayla (Wolf Babies)