The worst is over, my comrades. :) It's not perfect, but I hope you like it…

I own nothing

Enjoy!

Sam ran a big hand over the stubble on his cheeks. Gabriel was still in the shower, his hitching breaths and stifled crying barely audible over the running water. He must've been heating it with his grace now, because steam was still overflowing through the cracks in the door.

Gabriel tried to kill himself. The pit in his stomach seemed to get punched a little deeper when the thought came to mind. Every time he closed his eyes he could see the angel crumbling to the ground, surrounded by the charred wing prints of his family and bloodstained floorboards. He had thought Sam was ashamed of him. At least, he had last time they talked- argued- and the hunter felt the tears burning in his eyes again. Gabriel thought that he didn't love him. Sam pushed away any resentment he felt, focusing just on just getting through the day with Gabriel still alive and by his side.

Taking a deep breath, and moving to stand from where he was crouched- listening for any commotion behind the door- and knocked lightly.

"What?" Gabe was trying to kill him with just his tone, and Sam winced like he had spit daggers through the wood. The hunter rested his forehead against the door. He was just too tired to hold it up anymore.

"Please talk to me, Gabriel…" he was begging. He deserved to beg for lying to his angel like he did. "I'm so sorry, Baby. I was trying to help and I just fucked it all up, I-"

"Stop." He sighed and it sounded more like a sob. "please, just… stop. Sam, I just… I can't believe you're still here…"

"What? What do you-"

"Why the Hell are you still with me? Why bother with an invalid archangel when you could've just avoided this all in the first place!" he took a shuddering breath, probably realizing he had been yelling "this is the biggest fight since the apocalypse, and you chose to help me. Me: a damaged reject of God with no purpose to serve and no- no anything! Why be with such a disgusting, shameful piece of shit when you could have gotten on with your life- Sam…. I just don't.. I don't understand…"

Sam sighed, trying the doorknob with a hesitant hand.

Gabriel stood in the small room, naked except for a pair of Sam's sweatpants, with a nasty array of red and pink burns and scrapes- he must've scrubbed himself raw- covered his still shaking body as he leaned against the counter and stared at his reflection.

"Gabriel?" He moved closer, but left a solid foot between them- no matter how much he was burning to hold him. Gabe needed that space to back up if he felt trapped.

His archangel would never feel unwanted with him ever again.

"Gabriel, please come here." he asked calmly, holding out a hand.

"No." he stared at the mirror.

"Gabe" he shuffled forward, itching to pull him close- especially after the two weeks that he was a living furnace for his freezing angel- and barely restraining himself. "I need you, please... Let me..." he reached out a little more, and tried to smile encouragingly. Gabriel met his eyes scathingly in the mirror- his glare could've leveled cities if it wasn't counteracted with the veil of distraught tears.

Sam was sick of tears.

"Hi." he said, all other plans of what he was going to say flying out the window. Gabe raised an eyebrow and tried to roll his eyes.

"Hi." he still sounded bitter and angry, but more resigned that anything else. At least he was making eye contact now.

"Please, come to me?" Gabriel finally complied with an eye roll and an almost- masked flinch when they made skin to skin contact. "I will never hurt you." he pulled Gabriel closer, until they were chest to chest and the archangel adjusted to the proximity. It was just Sam. He was safe.

"Listen to me very closely." the hunter said gently after a long moment, tilting up the archangel's head to look him in the eye. "Are you listening?"

Gabriel mumbled a little.

"What was that?" Sam felt the smile curve his mouth before he knew he said the words.

"Y-Yeah..."

"Are you sure?"

"Your luck is so pushed, Winchester..."

"I love you." the exasperated half-smirk became a glare, and Sam just looked back completely honestly. "Look me in the eye and tell me I'm lying. Look in my soul with your grace and tell me what you see, Gabe..." he paused, staring at the archangel like if he looked long and hard enough, he could make everything all better. Gabe tried to look away from him again, and Sam took the silence as his answer. "Exactly. I love you and now you know. Okay? I love you more than life itself, and-" he hated that he still had to remind Gabe of this. That the archangel couldn't couldn't look at him and just tell that he was Sam's moon and sky. And Sam hated the way the thoughts made his throat tighten around the words like he was suffocating on the lump in his throat. "I need you here. I would've ended up in this fight whether you were here or not, and the fact that you are? God, Gabe... it's the best gift I could ever receive- no matter how broken you think you are..." Gently and slowly- so Gabriel knew and understood what was happening- Sam drew him closer, flush against his body until the archangel tentatively responded with his arms shakily around Sam's waist. After a long tense moment, Gabriel relaxed and buried his face into Sam, who kissed the top of his head feather light as he began to cry.

Sam gently rocked him back and forth as the archangel sank further into him, stroking his hand over the nubs of his spine where his wings should be. Gabriel rested his ear over the steady heartbeat, counting time on the beats. "Gabe?Do you get it now?" he whispered softly "I am not ashamed of you- I was trying to protect you from the truth, and I should know by now that that's just impossible." Gabe sniffled against his skin and pulled away just enough to look up at him. "Forgive me?"

A slight shadow of a smirk quirked his lips.

"Consider it forgiven, Sammy." he went up on his tippy toes, pecking Sam's cheek "but if you ever hide... anything like that again I will smite you so fast..." he chuckled a little.

"As long as you stay with me, okay? I need you... I need you here and alive. Deal?"

"Deal." with timidness and a little bit of fear in his golden eyes, he rested his hand on the nape of Sam's neck. Sam stroked his thumbs over the dimple in the archangel's back, encouraging him, but not demanding anything. Gabriel's eyes brightened with determination and tugged at Sam's neck, going up on his toes again and crushing their lips together. The tall hunter went with Gabriel's pull, letting his angel control the pace as he got steadily more confident with the contact. After a long moment they pulled away to breathe, and Gabe gasped the oxygen in, digging his fingers into Sam's hair.

"All the time I was... I was th-there, he never ki-kissed me... not once..." he whimpered in Sam's arms.

"Baby-"

"I'm glad." he pressed his ear back over the waiting heartbeat. "at least it's one thing he didn't ruin..."

Sam sighed as he pressed his nose into his angel's golden hair, kissing the top of his head.

"One day you're gonna realize just how perfect you are, Gabriel... I promise..."

He probably didn't even hear him.

It had been two days since Gabriel's figurative swan dive, and Dean and Cas hadn't seen the archangel a single time. They zapped themselves back into the kitchen at Bobby's.

"SAM!" Dean yelled up the staircase."Get you ass down here, we got news on that bunker-thing!" He heard the pounding of feet on the floor above and Sam bounded around the corner and into view at the top of the stairs.

"So do I." He looked exhausted, but happier than Dean had seen him since his archangel was saved. "Gabe's starting to talk about what he remembers."