-=If I were JKR, I wouldn't tell you lot. But I'm not or I'd actually be getting paid for this.=-

Cheap Thrills

Daily Prophet

*

Hermione went to the library, she sat down to copy a few well chosen spells. She'd seriously have to consider expanding her personal library. So many decisions.

Back in her room Hermione looked around. In a week she wouldn't be here any more. The mere thought of being outside this wonderful comfort-zone was terrifying. The mantra she had carried with her throughout this period of transition, "the future is yours," had scarcely sustained her battered spirit.

Picking up her morning copy of the Daily Prophet, she skimmed the notices. Antiques, Magical Beasts, Books, Broomsticks, Business Opportunities, Carriages, Customized Services, Fertility Clinics, For Sale By Owner, Gardening/Horticultural Supplies, Jobs, Lost and Found, Miscellany, Muggle Devices, Personal Inquiries, Potions Ingredients, Rare Magical Objects, Rooms for Let, Seers, Servicing Wands/Broomsticks, Used, Wizarding Supplies, and Wizarding Wireless.

Quill out she starred Books, Jobs, For Sale by Owner, Personal Inquiries, they were always good for a laugh, Rooms for Let, and Used, why not.

Books let's see; Obscurus Books, WhizzHard Books, Flourish and Blotts, all adverts. Pass.

Jobs; Apothecary clerk, maybe, but the pay isn't quite enough. Circle.

Book Shop Clerk, doesn't pay enough.

Eeylops Owl Emporium, kennel attendant, they can call it what they want. No.

Server/Housemaid with Superior Pure-blood Family, ah, no.

The Leaky Cauldron, still doesn't pay enough.

Hippogriff trainer, definitely not.

St. Mungo's, many positions available. Circle.

Interested in a Prestigious Career with the Ministry of Magic, inquire with Wizarding Resources. Circle.

Moving right along. For Sale by Owner; no, no, no, uh, what were they thinking? Wizards! No, and absolutely not, who buys second-hand unwashed undies?

I'll save Personal Inquiries for afters. Rooms for Let; hmm, circle.

Ah no.

Room-mate? Definitely not.

Wait that can't be right. Large house situated on a berm, owner rarely used, rent cheap to right applicant, circle.

Knockturn Alley? No, no, no.

West wing of Manner-house, must submit to interview, price available upon approval, hmm, maybe. Brownstone, Muggle London, several flats still available, reasonably priced. Circle.

Flat above Weasely's Wizarding Wheezes Hogsmeade, contact George Weasley. Circle, there's always silencing charms.

Used; Hmm, that's got to be Mrs. Weasley- Ford Anglia, many features.

No.

No.

Yuck.

And No!

On to the Personal Inquiries. Single Wizard Seeking Witch for Fun and Laundry Service. I feel sorry for the witch who takes him up on his offer.

Married Witch Needs A Real Wizard. Tart!

Single Wizard Needs Support Through This Difficult Time, undergoing sexual modification, more power to you!

Have Harry-Potter Fetish, Will Travel, I have to show this to Harry! He'll die.

Seeking Witch or Wizard With Ample Means for Friendship and More. Pu-yuck!

Wizard Seeks Witch or Wizard with a Strong Commanding Voice, and Even Stronger Wand-arm. Uh...

Have a Sense of Humour? I'm the Witch for you. She'd be good for George.

Fire-call Me Any time for Hot Encounter. Ha!

This one is unusually long, Wealthy Wizard Seeks Playmate, will travel. No sexual preference, for painting toe nails, fun with Hippogriffs, vacations. Public Humiliation, Domination, and Blood-letting a must. They actually printed this?

"Alright that's enough."

"Tomorrow, my trip to Diagon Alley will be busy. I suppose I'll stumble around Muggle London while I'm there. Perhaps I'll book a room at the Leaky Cauldron, for all of Easter Vacation. So let's see," quill poised over fresh parchment. "Inquire at The Apothecary, Ministry of Magic, and St. Mungo's. Maybe I should also look into Muggle employers. Check Muggle want-ads."

Next check out housing options, large house, manner house, and the brownstone, and George.

"Then I can riffle all the bookshops in the Magical World. I'd better pack."