-=JKR, is restricted to cannon- I'm not.=-

AN/ Thank you for the votes. I think this will please you all. Drum roll please.

Cheap Thrills

Cutting Twist

"Attention everyone, Ms. Granger has a few words for you all before we begin."

"Thank you, Headmistress. Thank you everyone. This fund raiser was more successful than I ever expected. We have Mr. Ace Sande from St. Mungos, please stand sir." He received a brief applause. "We raised 5016 Golden Galleons, give yourself a hearty applause." Hermione joined the storm of applause. "Are you ready!" Shouts and calls confirmed. "Mr. Sande, if you would be so kind." Mr. Sande approached the hopper, and withdrew a ticket, looked startled. Hermione accepted the ticket, looked even more startled. "Would you please come to the podium Professor Snape." There were confused shouts amidst the raucous cawing of the Slytherin table.

Snape took his place at the Hermione's side. She stepped aside, so Severus could speak. "Settle down, there's a small change of plans." Snape walked over to Mr. Sande. "Keep pulling until you get someone else's name."

"What are you doing Professor?" Hermione's expression betrayed her bewilderment.

Snape's mouth quirked, "change in plans. Thank You Mr. Sande." Taking the slip he read. "Lavender Brown, come up."

Lavender jogged up to the front, as confused as everyone else. "Hermione what's going on?" Stage whispering.

Snape spoke into the microphone. "Ms. Brown it's your lucky day. As I've decided Ms. Granger was not a suitable candidate for this, I'm standing in for her." Thunderous calls echoed in the hall.

As Snape took a seat on the stool. The Hall erupted. For her own part Lavender looked as scared as she was excited. This was a once in a lifetime opportunity.

Hermione walked down to where Snape sat. She stood before Snape. "You shouldn't do this, I should be sitting there."

"Hermione, do me favour. Run your fingers through my hair. I'm going to miss that." Severus seemed a little wan.

Feeling unaccountably nervous, "are you sure, there are like three hundred people watching?"

His lips were pressed tightly, but he nodded. Hermione's eyes overflowed with tears. Splayed fingers made several passes through his hair, "Severus, this..."

"Hermione, hush. You can tell me later. We need to get on with the show." Giving Snape a tearful nod, Hermione whispered into Lavender's ear, then Hermione stood nearby.

Without a word of warning Lavender stepped up to take the scissors. "Everyone give Professor Snape a round of applause." Lavender opened and closed the scissors theatrically. "Yeah, Professor Snape. Whoo Whoo!" Lavender cheered with the others.

Lavender bent down, "Professor, do you mind if I also use my wand, as well?"

"That's fine, make sure it's even." Snape acquiesced.

Sticking the shears in her robes, she carefully pulled all of the Professor's hair into a ponytail. The school watched on with unbelieving fascination. Merlin, help me. Binding the hair magically, Lavender figured the Potions Master may want it as a souvenir. Lavender cut doggedly through the mass of hair. Lavender never would have guessed Snape's hair was so thick. Freeing the last bit of the ponytail, Lavender waved the hair in the air, whooping. Jumping up and down. The noise was deafening. More dignified, the teachers clapped and cheered.

Snape's face was red as dragon's blood. Hermione reached out for the hank of hair. She cradled it tenderly, facing Snape, her eyes red and puffy.

Lavender continued, trimming the length, and shaving the sides. Severus felt Lavender tap his head with her wand seven times. Merlin, what is she doing now? Hermione hid her face in her robes. The noise was so loud, Snape couldn't discern any of it. His head felt naked, but he wasn't ready to touch it. Snape certainly didn't want to look at it, but Lavender thrust a mirror into his hands. Snape enlarged the mirror, his colour paled at what he was seeing. Lavender Brown, gave him liberty spikes. Gryffindors.

Lavender was grinning and clapping. Lavender skipped over to the podium, to address the school. "Uh, I'd like to thank Professor Snape for being an excellent sport. Everyone give it up for, Professor Snape." She shouted unnecessarily into the microphone.

Hermione butted in. "And give yourselves a hand, for your support." Mr. Sande, shook Severus', Lavender's and Hermione's hands. "Thanks so Much."

"Ms. Granger we are grateful, I look forward to seeing you around St. Mungos." Mr. Sande departed genially.

The Headmistress took the podium, "Thank you everyone, you are dismissed."

In a show of defiant bravado, Severus held his arm out for Hermione to take. She laughed happily, allowing him to escort her out.