Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. You know that.

A/N: A few of my other stories have been nominated for Eddie and Bellie awards. A Lesson in Release has been nominated for Best Novel and the S. Meyer award for best grammar, punctuation and spelling. NCB, Inc. and Edward's Release were nominated for best multi-chapter smut. (*blushes*). Please go to http://www(dot) thecatt (dot) net/tw/Default (dot) aspx and cast your nominations, too! The stories with the most nominations move forward for the judge's consideration. THANKS!!!

It should be mentioned that there are Midnight Sun spoilers in this story...

Edward's POV

I leaned against my car and waited for Jasper and Bella to arrive. Bella and I had all our classes together except one, so I told her I would meet her in the parking lot and we could walk to class together. I was watching for the pick-up truck, so needless to say I was caught off guard when they came careening around the corner not in the truck, but on a motorcycle. Bella had her upper body flush against Jasper's back and her arms wrapped around him tight as he sped into the parking lot, stopping next to me. Anger overtook my senses and I was about to pummel Jasper for being so reckless with Bella when she climbed off the back of the bike and took off her helmet. I stared for longer than I should have as she shook out her chestnut tresses, her face positively radiant. I couldn't understand it. She used to be scared when I would carry her on my back to run to our meadow. How could the same girl get so much joy out of speeding on a motorcycle? Still, no matter how much she enjoyed it, it didn't excuse Jasper's carelessness.

"Chill out, Edward," Jasper chided me as he threw his leg off the bike and started getting their books from the satchels on the back. "It's not like I'm going to crash. She's every bit as safe on the back of my bike as she is in the Volvo going 120." I focused on pushing the emotions back down, but then Jasper continued. "She won't go that fast when she's driving hers, I'm sure." Hers? Hers! He bought her a…motorcycle?! Before I could even stop to think about the repercussions, I turned on her.

"Bella, you and I discussed this. There is no way you should be driving a motorcycle! You know it's dangerous. Even your father forbade it. Have you completely lost all common sense?" Jasper growled at me, and Bella looked as though she were going to cry.

"Well," she sniffled, "I guess it's a good thing that neither you nor my father can forbid me to do anything anymore, then, isn't it?" Damn, I did it again. Breathe, Edward.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I shouldn't have said that. I just worry about you so much. The stories Carlisle has told me about motorcycle accident victims that have come through the ER are terrifying, and I would never want that to happen to you. Please just promise me you'll be careful, okay?" Bella nodded. "Forgive me?" She nodded again. Time to mend some fences. "So, Jasper, what kind of bike is that, anyway? It looks like a beautiful piece of machinery," I tried to sound nonchalant as we began walking towards campus.

"It's a BMW K1200. Bella's bike is just like mine, only in red." Jasper smiled at her when he said it, and she beamed back. Not only had Jasper bought her a motorcycle, and she'd let him, but he had bought her one of the fastest bikes on the market. Brilliant. Time to change the subject.

"So our first class is in Independence Hall, which is not the building that actually looks like Independence Hall. The building that is a replica of Independence Hall is named University Hall. I'm not sure that bodes well for the level of education we will be receiving here," I joked as we walked past the stadium towards our building. "What building are you in first, Jasper?"

"Hagerty Hall, it's on the other side of the Oval from yours." The Oval was the term for the large courtyard in the center of the main part of campus. The main classroom buildings circled it, and there were several sidewalks that served as cut-throughs radiating from the center. "In fact, I should probably get a move-on if I'm going to make it on time. Bella, do you want to meet me at the Wexner center around 12:30? We both have a break at that time, and most of the restaurants are near there on High Street."

"I'd love to, Jasper. See you then. Have a great day!" Jasper hesitated, thinking about kissing Bella, but remembered her rules and chose not to. I watched as he jogged ahead of us and I relaxed a bit, not having to hide my emotions for a little while. Bella and I walked in companionable silence for a moment, but I could tell something was on her mind.

"What are you thinking, Bella? You do forgive me, right?"

"I forgive you, Edward. It's fine. I was actually going to ask you for a favor." Bella bit her bottom lip and avoided eye contact.

"Anything, Bella, just name it."

"Well, this was Alice's idea, and I don't know how you'd feel about it. We were wondering if, on the nights Alice goes hunting, if Adrian could spend the night at your house, you know, in your spare room…and…if Jasper is hunting…if I could." No wonder she was so nervous. Suddenly some of the things Esme had done made sense. This could be both heaven and hell for me if I agreed. On the nights Adrian was at my house, I would have a constant reminder that Bella and Jasper were alone together, most probably doing things I couldn't bear to think about them doing. On the other hand, it would mean that once a week, Bella would be staying with me. For the sake of my sanity, I knew I should say no.

"Sure, Bella. I can understand how that might be…beneficial…to the four of you. It's not like I don't have the room. You and Adrian should move some stuff in, clothes and what not, so you don't have to keep carrying it back and forth. I suspect Alice may have told Esme about this already. My kitchen is stocked and there's strawberry shampoo in the bathroom." Bella chuckled at that, sounding relieved. "Here we are. We should be in Room 110, the main lecture hall. Do you want to sit towards the front or the back?" Bella chose the back and we quickly found our seats. Biology 101. Easy. I pulled out my book and glanced at Bella's diary in my backpack. It would have been too obvious to bring it out then. It would have to wait until later. At least now I knew when I would have the opportunity to ask her some of the questions I had for her.

"So who's staying at Hotel Edward first? You or Adrian?" Please say you.

"Hotel Edward. That's funny! Me. Actually, we were hoping I could come over tonight, if that alright. Or is that too short of notice?" It took everything I had to keep my expression casual.

"No, that's fine. I didn't have any plans tonight. Why don't you bring your homework with you and we can do it together?"

"Great! Oh, and Edward? This whole idea is kind of hard for Jasper, you know? Don't say anything to make it worse, alright?" It occurred to me that this had to be killing Jasper. I hated it when Bella would visit Jacob for a few hours, I couldn't imagine what I would have done if Bella had spent the night alone with him, no matter how innocent it was. I found myself feeling sorry for Jasper, but not enough to contain my joy at the time I would get to spend with Bella.

"Of course, Bella." Class started then and our conversation had to end. The rest of the morning went by far too quickly before Bella was running off for her lunch with Jasper. After lunch, I had Music Appreciation without her, and then one more class together at the end of the day.

I sat down at one of the picnic tables in the Oval and pulled out Bella's diary, a highlighter and a pen and started to read.

January 25, 2005 – I almost died today. Edward Cullen saved me, but I don't know how. I was thinking about him on my drive to school, trying to figure out why he lied about his eyes, and why he seemed so hostile at times. Mostly, though, I was just thinking about his perfect face, and how stupid it was that I was so anxious to get to school just to see him. My truck had no problems at all on the icy roads, and when I got to school I figured out why. Charlie had put snow chains on my tires for me. I was inspecting the chains and thinking about how once again this truck had shown me how much my dad cares for me when it happened. I heard a screeching noise and looked up to find where it was coming from, but all I saw was Edward, four cars down, looking at me in horror. Then I saw Tyler's van, skidding out of control and heading right for me. I was hit, but not by the truck, and I felt something solid and cold pinning me down as I hit my head on the concrete. I heard Edward mutter 'Fuck!' and opened my eyes just in time to see Edward stop the van – with his bare hands!

When I asked him how he got there so fast, he tried to argue that he was right next to me the whole time, but I know better. Finally he asked me 'please' and I realized that was the story he wanted me to tell for some reason. He asked me to trust him and said he'd explain later.

I was stuck in the emergency room for what seemed like forever when Edward's dad, Dr. Cullen (who is almost as gorgeous as his son) released me. I hinted to him about Edward saving me and he got nervous. Whatever it is that is different about Edward – his dad knows.

I asked Edward if I could talk to him, and he seemed really pissed off and hostile. Again. All I wanted was the truth, but he started arguing with me that I hit my head and didn't know what I was talking about, and that no one would believe me anyway. Like I would tell anybody! I asked him why he bothered saving me and he said…get this…"I don't know." I'm so angry right now, and in a lot of pain. I'm going to take some Tylenol and try and sleep this off. Maybe I'll figure it out in the morning.

January 26, 2005 – I had a weird dream about Edward last night. It was dark, except for him. He was glowing, kinda. He was walking away from me, but no matter how hard I tried to catch up to him, I couldn't reach him. I screamed his name, but he didn't turn around. Needless to say I had a hard time falling back to sleep after that. I was going to apologize to him today, thank him properly, but he wouldn't even talk to me. He really must wish he hadn't saved me.

Alice had told me the morning of the accident that my life was at a crossroads. How right she was. I was already so obsessed with Bella. I was staring at her like a lovesick schoolboy when she was checking her snow chains. I had wondered at the time why she seemed so emotional about them, but then everything happened so fast. Alice had a vision of the accident and I just acted. I had to save her. I HAD TO. All I could think was Not Her! I still can't believe she'd seen everything. She'd even heard me swear. I felt bad for that, it was no way to speak in front of a lady. I'll have to apologize to her for that, I thought as I highlighted the oath on the page.

I had felt like a cad that day for laying there with her after I'd stopped the van, thinking about her body pressed up against mine, her body heat engulfing me, when I should have been more concerned with her well-being or the fact that I could have exposed myself and my family to the entire student population. Even now I could close my eyes and relieve that feeling. It was the first time that the burn her scent caused was associated with pleasure, not just her impending death.

When Tyler was sitting in the emergency room thinking about asking Bella out, I shocked myself with how fast I flew from Carlisle's office to her bedside. I chuckled when I remembered that I had thought Bella recognized the similarities between Carlisle and I when she first met him. Here she just thought he was handsome! I would have to tease her about that later, I thought as I highlighted that passage. I was glad I didn't know that at the time, though. I had been jealous enough of him getting to touch her, even if it was just to examine her and to catch her when she stumbled.

My heart wrenched when I thought of how I'd been intentionally cruel to her when she asked me to explain how I'd saved her. She couldn't have known my reasons, or how much it hurt me to do it, but I was trying to protect her. Rosalie and Jasper wanted to kill her that day, in order to protect our secret. I wonder if Jasper ever thinks about that now. I wonder what Bella would think if she knew that. He had envisioned a dozen different ways of attacking her. "I won't let Alice live in danger, even a slight danger. You don't feel about anyone the way I feel about her, Edward," he had said. The irony of it shot through my system. I had only stayed because Alice was afraid Jasper would kill Bella if I left her unprotected. I had even contemplated kidnapping Bella to keep her safe from him. Maybe I should have.

Suddenly I remembered something. The night of the accident, when Alice had told us that if I didn't kill Bella she would become one of us someday, she wasn't looking at me. She was looking at Jasper! Did she know then that all this would happen? I made a note in the margin of the book to ask Alice about it.

"Yes, Edward," Alice said simply as she and Adrian sat down across from me at the table. "At least, I knew that he would be the one to change her. I didn't know…everything else."

I looked up at her, and I know she and Adrian saw the utter despair in my eyes. "Will he still?"

"Yes." I hung my head and wanted to cry. I locked the clasp on the book and started to put in my bag. I needed to get away.

"What are you two talking about?" Adrian asked. He pointed to the diary. "What is that book? Isn't that the book Bella gave you for Christmas last year?"

"We were talking about a vision I had when Bella first moved to Forks. A vision where Jasper turned Bella. The book is her diary." I was thankful to Alice for answering for me. I was uncapable of speech.

"Oh, I see. So are you learning anything from the guide?" Adrian asked with a smirk. He and I got along for the others' sake, but had never become friends. He didn't approve of me, and resented me for hurting Bella.

"The guide?" I asked him, curious.

"Yeah, she could have titled that 'Edward's Guide to Not Being a Complete Tool.' Although Bella should have told you what was going on in that head of hers at the time. Doesn't make much difference now, but it might have then. I wonder what possessed her to give it to you now?" Adrian mused. I should have been insulted, but I couldn't bring myself to be. He was right, of course. I had only barely started reading and had already found at least half a dozen things I planned on apologizing for tonight.

"I've got to get to class," I said as I stood up. "Enjoy your evening tonight, guys. Adrian, I told Bella that you two should bring some clothes over to my house and just leave them there for when you stay. Esme has already stocked the kitchen and bathrooms."

"Hey, thanks for that, man, I know it's a big inconvenience," Adrian said with begrudging appreciation.

"Not at all," I said as I headed to Music Appreciation. It was the easiest elective I could have possibly taken, requiring absolutely no attention on my part. I walked a little faster as I realized it would give me an extra hour to get some reading done.

February 18, 2005 – Had another dream about Edward last night, like I do every night. It's stupid. He doesn't even know I exist, and yet he's all I think about. His eyes looked darker today, not as golden. Talked to my mom today, she said she can tell I'm miserable and depressed and wanted to know why. What am I supposed to tell her? I am obsessed with a strange boy who might be related to Clark Kent, and he saved my life but wishes he hadn't and now ignores me completely? Yeah, that'd go over well. I told her it was the weather. It's not a total lie – the weather here does suck. The rain's been coming down hard and heavy lately.

Mike sat by me before Biology class again today. I'm grateful for the distraction, it keeps me from staring at Edward or breaking down crying like an idiot when he ignores me. Still, I think Mike's getting the wrong idea. I'm going to have to say something to him about it sooner or later. I choose later.

March 3, 2005 – What do they put in the water at this school, anyway? In Phoenix, none of the boys bothered me at all. Here, none of them will leave me alone. Well, except for the only one I DON'T want to leave me alone. But that's neither here nor there.

The girl's choice dance is in two weeks. Key words being Girl's Choice. I have no intention of choosing anyone to go with me. I wouldn't have even asked Edward. Falling on my face in front of the whole school because of my lack of coordination is not my idea of a fun evening. Yet despite the fact that it was a girl's choice, I had not one, not two, but three boys ask me to the dance today. Holy crow! First, Mike asked me in Biology. I lied and told him I was going to Seattle. So I guess I'm taking a little road trip in a couple of weeks.

I could have sworn Edward was listening to our conversation, but I'm sure that's just wishful thinking on my part. I did catch him staring at me afterwards, though. I was actually shaking, just because he was looking at me. I'm so pathetic. He did talk to me after class, though. He apologized for being rude and told me it was better if we weren't friends. I was pissed. I told him he should have just let the van squish me so he wouldn't have to regret saving me. Then he got mad back and told me that I didn't know anything.

All I wanted to do at the end of the day was get to my truck and run away, but No! Eric was there waiting for me. I told him the same lie I told Mike. He finally got out of the way and I hopped in my truck ready to make a break for it, but then freaking Edward cut me off and just stopped in front of me. Just stopped! There's this whole line of traffic forming behind me and the one person I'm trying to get away from is the very person blocking my escape.

Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, Tyler knocks on my window and HE asks me to the dance. That idiot already knew I'd turned down Mike but he asked me anyway. I had absolutely no patience left when I told him the same story I'd told the other two. He said something about going to prom instead and left.

Edward was watching me in his rear view mirror and I could swear he was laughing at me, as if he knew what just happened, even though I know there's no way he could have. He had me so riled up that I gave serious consideration to tapping his bumper with my truck and messing up that shiny silver paint job of his. I shouldn't be mad at him, though, it's not his fault he's not interested in me. Why would he be? I don't hold a candle to him. He's so gorgeous and perfect, and I'm so….not. Great, now I'm crying again. I guess that's enough rambling for one day, huh?

To think I actually saw Mike Newton as a rival at one point in time. Now I understand rivalry. A true rival is not the obvious one, the one who you can take at face value and plan your actions around accordingly. No, true rivals are the ones you don't see, the ones that sneak up on you in the night and blindside you when you aren't looking, the ones who call you brother. I know that Jasper loves her. I know that he didn't mean to hurt me. I know that I made mistakes where he didn't and I might have lost her anyway. It doesn't lessen my anguish. Everyone started getting up out of their seats. I hadn't even heard the teacher dismiss us. I stayed there for a few moments, focusing on my blessings so I could suppress these feelings before I had to see Bella and Jasper again. I have Bella's words, reaching out to me from the past to tell me how much she really did love me. That is truly a blessing. Bella and I are still friends. I still get to be in her life, see her every day. Those are blessings. Bella is still human. That is a blessing, for now. Bella is spending the night at my house tonight. That is the greatest blessing of all, and I intend to make the most of it.

A/N: Credit for Adrian's title for Bella's diary goes to Lead69. She called the diary that on the Twilighted Forum and I thought it was so funny, I decided to use it.

I'm really anxious to hear what you think about this one! The Cullendales are performing a one-night-only sold out show at Mohegan Sun in Connecticut and then they are off to Chicago!