-=I don't own Harry Potter. If I did, I'd go OOC once in a while just to mix things up.=-

Cheap Thrills

Epilogue

Trying to extricate herself. "Severus I'm sorry, I have to go. My carriage is turning into a pumpkin. I'll see you later." Waving briefly, at a confused Snape. Pumpkin?

She transfigured her clothes as took off down the lawn to the Apparition point.

Breath hitching, as her heart slowed. I hate Apparating, wish I could have flooed.

Looking at the address, this has to be it. It's giagnormous. "There must be a mistake with the advert. It's only polite to go in and apologize. I don't want take up any more of the caretaker's time." Following the sloping juniper berry lined path to the steps of the manse. The knocker announced her automatically.

Hermione stepped up to shake hands with the elf, who greeted her. The elf was wearing clothes, well-made clothes by the look of them. "Hermione Granger, pleased to meet you. I have an appointment with one Mr. Hensley." She smiled.

The elf bowed deeply. "Ms. Granger come inside, wouldn't want a bat to swoop down on you. Beginning of June they're at their worst. Sorry, I'm rattling like an old tea kettle. My name is Mr. Hensley, I am the caretaker." Hermione took his hand shaking it again.

"I'm afraid I must have read the advert wrong, Mr. Hensley. The advert I saw said, 'Large house situated on a berm, owner rarely used.'" Hermione tried not to look too pathetic.

"No Ms. Granger, that was the description I submitted." He looked around the foyer with pleasure. "Fine old house, the owner doesn't spend enough time here."

Pulling the ad from her pocket, she handed it to Mr. Hensley. "So, it wasn't a misprint?" Afraid to inquire directly about rent money.

"My dear, no. Would you like a cuppa?" He looked hopeful.

"Thank you, no. My stomach is still displeased with me. Mr. Hensley, what you can tell me about this house." Mr. Hensley led her over to a sofa.

"The house of course has many bedrooms most have a bath. Though it's too dark to see properly now, the house has a beautiful garden that wraps around the back from one side to another. The kitchen is large and well stocked. Unless you want to cook something for yourself, we have a kitchen staff. We have a library, that is open for your use. The staff are often reading and conversing at the library table. Whichever room you choose can be outfitted to your tastes. Past the garden is a field, and beyond that a nice woods. Very nice for a stroll." The elf was in full flow.

"I'm sorry to interrupt, but it sounds like you've already decided that I am the right tenant. Mr. Hensley, you hardly know me."

"Ms. Granger I know more than enough. When I greeted you at the door, you didn't hesitate to shake my hand and introduce yourself. Furthermore, you have been courtesy itself. Ms. Granger, I can tell you are a kind person. What other type of person, would you suppose the master of the house would want?"

"I see, you're point." Still Hermione never met a house elf so naturally relaxed and self-possessed. "What of your employer? Is there anything you can tell me?"

They were interrupted, the front door opened.

"Ah, Sir, welcome home." Hermione froze.

"Severus?" She turned chalk white. "No, it can't be."

"Thank you Mr. Hensley, I'll take over from here." The elf excused himself.

Severus grinned. "Ms. Granger, didn't think you'd get away that easily did you?"

"But how?" Hermione said stupidly. The feat too grand to encompass.

"Sheer luck," Severus took off his coat and hung it under the stairs. "I meant to rent it out, before I found out you were looking. As it happens, there were no takers. My name is mud with polite society, and not-so-polite society. Probably the only one in this whole wide world who is immune to such nonsense, is you. I have a great deal of experience with public opinion, very little of it has been positive. Not wanting to expose you to that, I kept you at an arm's distance. Admittedly I was wrong, I am properly ashamed of it. You are a lioness Ms. Granger, and clearly made of sterner stuff. This by the way, is Prince Manner."

Hermione interrupted. "Mr. Hensley, has been very attentive to me. He is a very unique fellow."

"Mr. Hensley was introduced to me by Albus, he is a free-elf. He did not accept clothes willingly, but he and I have something of an agreement." Snape looked shifty.

"Yes? Do tell." Hermione's interest was at boiling point.

"I don't permit my staff to wear tea towels, napkins, pillowslips, or flour-sacks. I require they dress in something practical, and suitable for the weather. Nothing like sweeping the fire grate in the winter with you ass hanging out, and Hermione I mean that literally." Severus frowned from the remembrance. "The pursuit of personal development and fulfilment is of the greatest importance to me. They are required to take leisure-time to engage in any worthwhile activity, that does not include upkeep on the house or inhabitants. I'm sure you are also wondering about the use of titles. The staff here are all Misters, or Misses, I likewise am Mister to them, not Master. I am only Master of Potions. That is my dominion. Did I miss anything?" Snape looked tired.

"Mr. Hensley has an excellent manner, and his speech is unlike other elves I've met." Hermione was fascinated.

"I dare say they get it from reading. Almost all house elves are literate, though few do it for recreation. Since as I'm sure Mr. Hensley mentioned, they have plenty of time since I'm not here much." Taking her hand, "Hermione, I've gone to great lengths to make this a home I can be proud of. Stay here, share this with me. And as I said before, I have room enough for six of you. I meant it. Though the number's more like fourteen." Snape was solemn, "I don't want to beg, but I will. I was hoping you wouldn't emasculate me so soon."

Hermione looked irritated, "what about your, 'ew, girls have cooties,' thing in public?" She hoped in making light of it, that it would hurt less.

"It's going to take me awhile. Understand, that simply walking about with you will be a new and frightening thing for me. As I say, I've have plenty of years where venom was doled out wholesale by the general public. I wouldn't wish that on you." Squeezing her hand. "If it is in my power I would prevent it. When it's not, I can get them to apologize." With the intent of getting the worst over. "I'll never be as passive as your two best friends. You know that, don't you? There will be times, where I teach some of the finer points of minding their own business. That is a fact." She leaned into him tired. "Growing tired of me already?" Severus teased. "Come with me, I suppose I'll give you the sickle tour. Leave your sweater on the sofa and your shoes here as well. Severus removed his shoes.

They wandered from room to room. Hermione looked into the dark room, as candles sprung to life throughout. Severus waved his wand. Music floated out of the Victrola. "I have a dance to make up for." He pulled her into the middle of the room. They danced steadily through four pieces.

Hermione yawned. "I'm sorry, I'm just so tired. It's been a long day." Wrapping her arms around him both for support and comfort.

Snape settled Hermione into a bedroom. It was delicately furnished in light blue and pale gold. Severus started to undress. "I hope you don't mind, but this is my room."

Hermione looked at him, waiting for the punch line.

"It is," Snape raised his nose in the air.

"It's not even green." Hermione grinned.

"Yellow and blue make green. It belonged to a cousin I had a crush on. She used to like brushing my hair. As it happens, I loved it. Satisfied? My deep dark secret is revealed." Severus crawled under the covers.

"How old were you?"

"Eight."

"Good Night Severus."

"Good Night, the future Mrs. Snape."

"That's Presumptuous."

The End...