Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. I do, however, own my OCs, this storyline, and Connor O'Brien's Soliloquy album, which I love.

A/N: Thanks as always to my wonderful beta, readingtime.

Edward's POV

It was just past sunset and I was lying on the couch listening to "Without You (I Can't Breathe)" when I heard Jasper's bike, and what sounded like sniffling. I looked out the window and realized that it wasn't Jasper's bike at all; it was Bella's. Even from a distance, I could see that she was crying. Based on the direction she was heading, I guessed she was probably heading home, but I wasn't going to wait and find out. I bolted outside and was waiting at the end of the driveway for her to reach my house.

Bella stopped in front of me, but didn't turn into the driveway. She wiped her eyes with the back of her hand and sniffled loudly as she inhaled. "Edward. What are you doing out here?"

"I could ask the same of you. Why are you riding around by yourself after dark? And more importantly why are you crying?"

"I was trying to calm myself down. I really wanted to take a nice, long ride and just forget about things for a while, but I was too shaken up to drive, so I ended up just going down the block and turning around."

I stood there for a moment, trying to decide what to do. Bella was really upset about something, but she wasn't exactly volunteering information and I didn't want to pry. She would tell me when she was ready. Still, I hated to see her like this. I wanted to do something to dry those tears. Suddenly, an idea struck me.

"Bella, will you take me for a ride?"

Bella looked at me as though I'd just asked her to scale the Eiffel Tower. "Huh? Wha…What?" She shook her head in disbelief.

"Bella…would…you…take…me…for…a…ride…on…your…motorcycle? I've always wanted to learn how to ride, but have never gotten around to it. You said you were too shaken up to drive by yourself, but if I were riding with you, I could keep us from crashing if need be. What do you say?"

She still looked stunned, but she recovered a little faster this time. "Uh…okay. Hop on?" She looked as though she were waiting for me to change my mind. I chuckled a little at that. "Give me your coat."

"Why? It's cold out, especially when the bike is moving."

"Bella, trust me. Please?" She took off her coat and I took it inside, returning with one of my heavier coats. "Wear this one instead, that way your coat won't smell like me when you go home. I'm sure you'd prefer to explain without Jasper jumping to the wrong conclusion before you even get the chance." I threw my leg over the seat and settled in behind her on the bike while Bella shrugged on my coat and pushed the sleeves up.

"Alright. I'm on. Now what?"

"Put your feet on the rests, you'll have to shove them down with your heel. Then hold onto me. Lean when I lean. You'll see." I tentatively wrapped my arms around Bella's waist and tried unsuccessfully to think innocent thoughts. Bella slowly turned the bike around and headed back in the direction from whence she came, effectively avoiding her house.

She was still sniffling and shaking a little for the first few minutes we were riding, but then she calmed down. She was actually a really good rider, and I could see why she enjoyed this so much. It was a similar sensation to when I was running, the freedom you can only feel when the wind is beating against your face and the scenery is flashing by in a blur. But I also understood now why for Bella, this was better than when I would carry her when I ran. Here, Bella was in control, the beast below her sped up and slowed down at her command, and she loved it. By the time we hit the highway, Bella was laughing into the wind. She lowered her upper body a hair and hit the throttle. The bike shot like a rocket. I glanced at the speedometer and she was going just over 100mph. I hoped she was only doing that because I was riding with her. Still, I was with her, so I vowed to myself not to worry and just enjoy it. And enjoy it I did. It felt so natural, riding together this way, leaning into the turns in sync. It was like a dance, and Bella was leading. We rode around for a couple of hours with no particular destination in mind. I couldn't remember the last time I'd had that much fun. I heard the thoughts of a police officer up ahead. I leaned forward and shouted over her shoulder.

"Bella, slow down, there's a speed trap up ahead." Bella nodded and brought us down to just under the speed limit right before we passed the policeman with the radar. Unexpectantly, Bella pulled off at the next exit.

"I'm hungry," she yelled over the engine. "You don't mind, do you?"

"Of course not." Bella pulled into the nearest Bob Evans restaurant and parked just outside the door.

"I need some comfort food," she stated simply. We were seated at a quiet booth and Bella ordered a coffee and large stack of pancakes with bacon.

"If you want to talk, I'm here to listen," I pointed out what I hoped was obvious.

"Jasper and I had a fight, that's all, and then Alice and Adrian started fighting with him too, and it was all too much to take. I just had to get away for a while. Clear my head." She looked down at her coffee as though it were the most fascinating thing she had ever seen. "So why were you standing in your driveway when I rode by?"

"I heard the bike approach, and then I heard you crying. I came out to see what was wrong. Should I have not done that?"

"No…I'm glad you did. My bike kind of found its way to your house, I guess, but I wasn't going to stop. I would have kept going if I hadn't seen you there."

"Well, then I'm glad I went outside. I had a lot of fun riding with you." She looked just as surprised as I was to find that to be true.

"Yeah, it is a blast, isn't it? It can get my mind off of just about anything. It's even better than sex." She looked up in horror at her own words and must have seen how I winced before I could stop myself. "Oh, Edward, I'm so sorry. That was a stupid thing to say."

"Nothing to forgive. I myself found it to be quite thrilling and I can see where it would be therapeutic. As far as how therapeutic it is…I guess I'll just have to take your word for it." I smiled shyly. Bella blushed and looked back down to her coffee. "So, if you don't mind my asking, what exactly were you two fighting about?" I asked tentatively.

"I don't know if I should tell you that." Bella was biting her lower lip, hard.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to pry, I just thought maybe I could help."

"Oh, no, you're not prying, it's just that I don't want to give you and Jasper any more reasons to fight. You're doing a fine job of coming up with them on your own." She sounded a tad angry and bitter.

"Oh, that. I must admit, I did hear some of that argument last night. Is that what you were crying about? I'm sorry, it might have been my fault. I hoped that since you had danced with Adrian and Jasper was okay with it, that he would be okay with me asking you to dance as well. It was naïve of me, I admit."

"That was just one small part of it," Bella whispered. "What exactly did you hear last night?"

I took a deep breath and reminded myself of my vow to always be honest with Bella. Besides, as awkward as this was bound to be, I really wanted to know just as much as Jasper did why she reacted the way she did.

"I heard Jasper accuse you of being jealous that I was dancing with Kelly," I admitted.

Bella's eyes shot up to mine for a split second and turned right back down. "Is that her name?" she asked. The sadness was dripping in her voice.

I reached across and almost grabbed her hand, but thought better of it and brought my hand back. "Were you?" I asked softly.

"Yes," she sounded as if the very word were strangling her. "I'm sorry, I know I have no right. You deserve someone too, you deserve to be happy, especially after everything I put you through…"

I reached across the table again, but this time I laid my hand over hers. She didn't pull away, just started staring at our hands instead of at the coffee. "Bella, stop. We've been over this. We both made mistakes."

"No, we really haven't been over this. I mean, I know what you said at the meadow, but after last week when we spent all that time talking about things in my diary you felt you needed to apologize for, I started making a mental list of all the things I know I need to apologize for too. Plus, I'm sure that like you with the diary, there are things I need to apologize for that I wasn't even aware of at the time."

"Well, how about this? Tomorrow when you come over, we'll split the time. We'll talk about the diary and the things it made me think about this week. Then afterwards we can talk about this list of yours. I'll even make up a list of my own for us to discuss. Sound fair?"

Bella looked up at me and smiled a little, then looked down again. "Sure. That is, if Jasper doesn't lock me up in a hotel tomorrow."

"What do you mean, Bella?" I felt the hairs on the back of my neck go up.

"Jasper said he's not going to hunt this week. Said he's not thirsty, but I know better. I know it's just because he doesn't want me to spend time with you. He hates that we're friends. So I told him I was going to your place whether he went or not. That didn't go over very well."

"I wouldn't imagine that it would," I squeezed her hand reassuringly.

"Well, between that and the whole roofie thing, everyone in the house is just fighting nonstop. I thought it would be so perfect, the four of us living together. So far it's been anything but."

"Wait a minute, back up. What 'roofie' thing? Did someone drug you at the club?!" Bella didn't sounded incapacitated when she was arguing with Jasper, but still.

"No, no. Nothing like that. Jasper and I were fighting last night and he just wanted the fight to be over, I guess, so he used his powers to distract me." Bella blushed furiously, her head not moving up at all. "Adrian compared it to using a roofie on me to get what he wanted, but I didn't see it like that. I mean, it pissed me off because I really wanted to resolve the argument, but I didn't see it as date rape the way Adrian did. I saw it more like seduction to the Jasper degree." It was painfully clear to me then. I wasn't sure how to feel about it. On one hand, I really wanted to be angry for what he did. But on the other hand, how many times had we used Jasper's powers to gain control over a volatile situation? It was second nature. We'd used his abilities in fights with vampires, werewolves, and humans alike. Of course, we usually used them to calm someone down, not…turn them on. But I had to admit I could see where he would do that without giving it a thought. I still didn't like it, but I understood it.

"Bella, I can see where Adrian is coming from, honestly I can. I don't think what Jasper did was right. But I have to tell you, we've used his powers to diffuse arguments so many times that it's most probably a very natural thing for him to do. I'm sure he wasn't intentionally trying to take advantage of you. He probably just didn't think about what he was doing. Did you feel…violated?"

"No, I didn't. I was just mad that I didn't get to finish the fight, because I was right and he knew it," she chuckled a little. "Does it make me pathetic?"

I chuckled along with her. "No, it doesn't make you pathetic. It makes you even more understanding and wonderful than you already were. Besides, your reactions to things have never exactly been normal. That's why you fit in so well with us to begin with."

Bella looked up and met my gaze then. "Thank you for sticking up for Jasper, and for understanding. He hasn't exactly been nice to you lately, so it would have been really easy to throw him under the bus, but you didn't. Just like you didn't about the car accident."

"You're really upset about that, aren't you? I'm sorry. Should I not have told you? I just thought we had vowed to be honest and open with each other, so I was. I don't want to lie to you anymore, Bella. About anything."

"Yes, I am really upset about it. But I'm glad you told me. Please don't feel like you have to hide things to protect me. You promised not to do that again, remember?"

"Yes, I do remember." Bella's food came then and she gave the waitress a grateful smile before smothering the pancakes in syrup and diving in. "She didn't mean anything, you know. It was just a dance. As a matter of fact, it wasn't even me she had asked to dance."

"What?" Bella looked a little confused.

"Kelly. The girl at the club. She was asking Jasper to dance. You two seemed to be having a moment, so I danced with her to keep her from interrupting you. That's all it was."

"I see." Bella said between bites. She seemed to be smiling a little more, but that was probably about the pancakes. "Well, thank you, I guess. That was nice of you to sacrifice yourself that way for us." Ahh, now she's teasing me.

"Well, it wasn't exactly a sacrifice, I'll admit. She was quite lovely, and we had a nice conversation. She's a music major here." Bella bit her bottom lip and I held in a smirk. "She asked me if I would help her with a composition for one of her classes. She is writing a piano/cello duet."

Bella choked on her bite and furrowed her brow. "Oh? How nice," she said, sounding like it was anything but. As much fun as I was having with it, I couldn't bring myself to tease her any more.

"Bella, why are you jealous of her? Is it what you told Jasper? Is it just because she's the first person you've seen me with?" Bella's lips drew into a thin line as she bit both lips between her teeth. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, she answered.

"Partially. I realize it's selfish of me. I can't expect you to…I mean…you said, but…UGH! Forget that. The other part is that I just always thought that she was the type of girl you deserved. Perfect. I'm not like that, and it made me feel inferior."

I squeezed her hand again, and she looked up at me through bloodshot eyes. "Bella, you are not inferior. You never have been. Not in any way. Are you perfect? No. You're not. Neither am I. You loved me anyway, right?" Bella nodded her head. I reached out with my free hand and held her pendant up to her. "You see this? It's my heart, and it is cold and dead and has many, many flaws, whether you can see them or not. But it's yours. It always has been, and always will be. I didn't add that little charm on there for nothing, you know." I set it back against her collarbone gently and sat back in my seat, praying I hadn't said too much. This honesty thing was a little nervewracking at times. She smiled serenely at me, and we fell into a relatively comfortable silence as she finished eating.

We hopped on the bike and before I knew it we were back in front of my house. I got off and ran inside to retrieve her jacket so we could trade back. I tried to give her a kiss on the cheek, but it was a little awkward with her helmet on, so my lips ended up on her jawbone instead. Bella gasped, but didn't say anything.

"Helmet," I said, tapping it with my finger, a little embarrassed. Bella blushed a beautiful shade of pink but nodded understandingly. "I had a great time tonight, Bella. Maybe when you come over tomorrow we can go for another ride if the weather looks agreeable?"

"Maybe. Thanks for listening, Edward. I didn't realize just how much I needed a friend tonight." Friend. Ouch.

"Anytime, love. I'm always here for you." Bella just nodded and drove away. I noticed that she didn't cringe this time when I called her 'love.' I smiled to myself as I walked back into the house, inhaling her scent on my coat. My smile faded a little as I thought about the list I'd promised to make Bella of things that bothered me when we were together. I didn't want to reopen old wounds, but she was right. I was learning from the past. If she wanted to do the same, I wouldn't deny her the opportunity. I would be honest with her and see where it took us. With great trepidation, I sat at my desk and began to write.

A/N: The Cullendales thoroughly enjoyed all the fans at the Cincinnati show. My deepest apologies (or congratulations as the case may be) to the few who were bitten while they were there. Sometimes they get a little carried away with their lap dances. The Naked Cullen Boys can next be seen at The Horseshoe Stadium in Columbus, Ohio! I still have a few VIP passes to hand out to my favorite Ohio State girls...Enjoy!