Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. I do however, own my OCs, this storyline, and more clothes with Jack Skellington on them then I care to admit.
A/N: As always, thanks to the most wonderful beta in the world, readingtime. Loves ya, BB. Okay, someone pointed out that my reading recommendation was also a story I'm beta'ing. True enough. I'm beta'ing four stories and they are all fabulous. They are on my profile. But in the interest of fairness, my reading selections the next couple of chapters will focus on some stories that I don't think are getting enough air time (read: reviews). The first on is Abbracciare il Cantante by Bratty Vamp. If Edward didn't come back after the first day of Biology, and then met Bella again in college, how would things have been different? It is a less angsty Edward and she's doing a wonderful job taking the relationship slowly and developing the characters. Plus, there's Naked Jasper in a hot tub, and Naked Jasper doing cartwheels -- what's not to love? Link is on my favorites list.
Edward's POV
Bella's nightmares began much as they had the night before, wondering aloud why everybody seemed to leave her when she needed them most. I realized then that her fears about Jasper leaving and her worrying that he didn't love her were because of when I had left her. It left a lasting impression on her and she never fully trusted me after that. Apparently, she didn't fully trust anyone anymore. I could understand that. My ability to trust in people had become severely compromised in the past year. How could two people who loved each other as much as Bella and I had inflict so much damage on one another? I guess it's true what they say – you hurt the ones you love the most and hope they'll love you enough to understand.
Bella started calling for me in her sleep, asking me to make the pain go away and make it all better. I went in and laid down next to her. She immediately whimpered and curled flush against me, throwing one arm and leg over my body as I cuddled her. Her dream died off and then seemed to change into the one she'd been having before Jasper left.
"Edward….don't make me fall…please…" Why would I make her fall?
I wrapped my arms around her and squeezed her, running my hand up and down her spine. "Shhhhhh, I'm here, baby. It's alright. I won't let you fall. I'll catch you." Bella snuggled into her favorite spot in the crook of my neck and placed a sweet, soft kiss on my collarbone. I stiffened for a moment and waited. She was still asleep; it was just an automatic response to being held. I kissed the top of her head and Bella calmed down immediately and drifted back into deep sleep.
When Bella drew closer to waking, I started to scoot away from her so I could make her breakfast, conscious of the fact that she asked me to not let her know when I held her. But Bella wasn't having it. She grabbed a fistful of my shirt and wrapped herself tighter around me. I could have disentangled her, obviously, but I also didn't want to deny her the comfort she was clinging to, so I stayed, smiling to myself at the soft hums that escaped her throat when she rubbed her forehead against my neck in that half awake state of conscious where you're still in dreamland.
When she finally woke up, she lifted her head and looked at me through sleepy eyes. "Edward?" she asked. She sounded confused, but not angry. I kissed her nose and was pleased when she smiled.
"Good morning, beautiful. I'm sorry I broke your rule, but you have quite a grip in your sleep, my dear." Bella chuckled.
"That's alright. Alice said to start acting like we would have before, right? And to be honest, it felt nice to wake up in y – someone's arms." Bella blushed. "So what's on the agenda for today?"
"Well, first I'm going to make you breakfast, then we need to get cleaned up before Kelly gets here."
"Great." Bella interrupted, her voice sour.
"Come on, it won't be that bad, and it'll only be for an hour or two. You can work on making room in the bedroom for your stuff. After Kelly leaves, Alice and Adrian are bringing your stuff over and dropping off your truck and motorcycle. I thought perhaps if you're up to it, you and I could make dinner for you and Adrian and break in that new cookbook of yours. Then we'll have the whole evening to ourselves to do whatever your heart desires."
"But first I have to put up with Kelly. I don't like her, and she obviously doesn't like me."
"Just give her a chance, Bella. She doesn't know the whole story and she came to the wrong conclusion and for that I'm sorry. But she is a really sweet girl, and I think under different circumstances you two would be friends." Bella growled under her breath. Silly Bella.
I made her some chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast, and that seemed to brighten her mood considerably. I decided to grab a quick shower and get changed while she was eating. The hot water was relaxing and I took a moment to think about last night. God, how I wanted to kiss her. I knew I was going to have to kiss her, whether she's thinking about him or not. But truth be told, at that moment I wanted to kiss her not because of this damn play we're having to put on. I wanted to kiss her because I needed her lips on mine, because I needed to show her all the love I felt for her back when she was writing her journal, and because I needed to show her all the love I feel for her still. And I wanted her to want to kiss me back, not because it was expected of us, not because of the ruse, but simply because she wanted to kiss me, too. I knew it was wrong of me. I knew I shouldn't be thinking this way, but I couldn't help it. I was finding it impossible to stay detached. I think subconsciously I keep searching for a sign that Bella still loves me too, searching for a reason to fight for her, to try and win her back. But there are no signs, because she doesn't love me anymore. We're just putting on a play. If all the world's a stage, then surely I'm the one playing the fool.
When I turned the water off, I heard voices in the other room. Kelly. I looked at the clock. She was at least a half hour early, and Bella had to answer the door in her pajamas. Wonderful. Today was going to be a terrific day. I wrapped the towel around my waist and considered peeking my head out the door to tell them I would be just a few minutes, just to make sure they weren't on the verge of a cat fight, but thought better of the idea. Instead, I dried off and changed at vampire speed. I threw on a black t-shirt and a pair of blue jeans, forgoing socks and shoes. I had to slow myself down before I headed for the living room.
As soon as I opened the bedroom door, Bella stalked over to me, ran her fingers through my towel dried hair, grabbed a handful in the back of my head, pulled me down to her, and kissed me. It was no small peck, either. She pressed her body against mine and kissed me so passionately that I completely forgot Kelly was in the room. I completely forgot everything. I put one hand on the small of her back and wrapped her soft hair in the other as I returned her kiss with just as much fervor. Bella moaned against my lips and caressed my lower lip with her tongue. It shocked me back to the present and I found myself opening my mouth to her, carefully covering my teeth with my lips as she caressed my tongue with her own. I was petrified of knicking her tongue, but she seemed to instinctively avoid them. Our tongues danced gracefully together and I could feel her body temperature rise the longer the kiss lasted. I moaned when I inhaled and smelled Bella's arousal. Bella responded by pushing herself even closer to me until I was certain she could feel the evidence of my arousal pushing against her stomach. When she finally ended the kiss, we were both breathless and slightly dazed. What was that?! I kissed her again, two more soft chaste kisses and was about to kiss her deeper again when I heard someone clear their throat in the background. Kelly. Oh. Bella was just putting on a show. Acting. But I could still smell her arousal in the air, swirling around us and driving me mad with desire. I looked at her, confused. She was smiling and her eyes sparkled with mischief and satisfaction.
"I remembered that I hadn't given you a proper 'Good Morning' when we got up." Bella kissed me again and giggled. "Good morning!"
"Good morning to you, too, love. Do you think that we could start every day like that from now on?" I asked her as I kissed her one more time.
"Sounds perfect. I'm going to get my shower while you help your friend with her project. But don't take too long, alright? We've got company coming later, and I'm really hoping we have some alone time before they get here," Bella raised her eyebrow suggestively and I chuckled at her. I had no idea she could be so wicked. She was enjoying this little show we were putting on. Who was I to complain? I put my hands on her hips and pulled her closer against me. Bella laughed and blushed a beautiful shade of pink. She tightened her arms around my neck.
"That sounds wonderful, my love. We won't be long. Two hours at the most. Promise. You can stay and listen if you like."
"No, that's alright. I wouldn't want to disturb you," Bella looked over at Kelly. "It was nice to see you again, Kelly." She looked back at me and our eyes locked. "I love you, Edward." My heart soared like a helium balloon.
"I love you, too, my Bella. So much." She gave me one last quick kiss and released me. I took a deep breath, taking in as much of that sweet aroma as I could before it disappeared, and reluctantly headed for the living room. Bella smacked my butt playfully as I walked away and I jumped, shocked. She must have seen the surprise on my face when I looked back at her, and she laughed out loud as she turned and made her way into the bedroom.
"So…you look happy," Kelly observed as she took her cello out of her case.
"I am," I said, and at the moment I meant it. Later I could chastise myself for getting so caught up in the moment, for letting myself believe in the deception. But not right now. Right now I was happy, and I was just going to let myself revel in the feeling for a while.
"Is that an engagement ring on her finger?" Kelly asked.
"Yes, it is. We're getting married in June." My happiness died down a little, faced with the hardest part of this to deal with. If only we were really getting married….but she's not mine. Poor Jasper, she thought to herself.
"How's Jasper feeling about all this?" I don't agree with what he did to Edward, but he obviously loves her. He's got to be hurting right now. What a messed up situation.
She had no idea. "Like I said yesterday, he's back together with Alice. He's fine, Kelly. We all just realized that we had made a mistake; that we weren't with the people we were meant to be with. I actually wanted to talk to you about all this. We're going to be having…friends…visiting us in a couple of weeks. Friends we haven't seen in a while. The last time we saw them was before Bella and Jasper got together. I was still with Bella, and Alice was still with Jasper. It would make it a lot easier on everyone involved if our friends don't know that we were ever separated. Could you keep it to yourself, please? It would mean a lot to me."
"Sure thing, Edward. I'm sorry for how I acted yesterday. I was just surprised is all. I consider you a friend, and Jasper too, and I just don't want to see my friends hurt. But if you say all is right with the world again, then I'll believe you." Her thoughts did not deceive her. She really was a sweet girl.
"Thank you. I consider you a friend, too. Shall we begin?" We spent the better part of an hour working on the melody. It started out slow and melancholy, but after the bridge the song picked up tempo and became light and full of hope. I was quite pleased with it, and Kelly was, too. Sometime towards the end, Bella came out from the bedroom and sat cross legged on the couch, silently absorbed in the music.
"It's beautiful," she whispered when the last note died off. Kelly beamed with pride and I was glad that she didn't seem to harbor any more ill feelings toward Bella. She was a good friend to me. Bella seemed more relaxed, too, and offered to make Kelly lunch before she left.
"You not eating, Edward?" Kelly asked as Bella made them both sandwiches.
"No, I gorged myself with chocolate chip pancakes this morning. I'm stuffed!" I rubbed my tummy for effect and both girls laughed.
When Kelly got ready to leave, she gave Bella a hug and apologized to her as well. Bella was very gracious and said she understood, and she hoped they could be friends. They made plans to meet for lunch during the week before I carried Kelly's cello to her car for her.
"Thank you so much for helping me, Edward. Do you think we will need to practice it anymore before we have to perform it for my professor next week?"
"I think I've got it, but if you'd feel more comfortable, we can meet after class one day and go over it."
"No, I think it'll be fine. I'll just practice my part to make sure I've got it, too. Thanks again!" Kelly got in her car and waved goodbye as she drove away.
When I turned to head back into the house, I saw Bella standing in the doorway. She stayed there when I approached her, so I tilted my head curiously. She just smirked at me and waited to see what I was going to do. I grabbed her by the waist and picked her up, kicking the door closed behind me before spinning around and pinning her against it.
"Now what are you going to do?" I teased her, and she squirmed against me helplessly, laughing. "You really are wicked, teasing me like that earlier, you know that?"
"I was just making a point," she said, biting her lower lip as she laughed.
"You did far more than that, Bella, and you know it," I started tickling her and she squirmed some more. We were standing so close that it started causing quite a lot of delicious friction between us. I stopped tickling her and she looked up at me, panting.
Before I could think about what I was doing, I bent down and kissed her. Her arms wrapped around me and she ran her fingers up and down the muscles of my back as we kissed. This time it was me who reached out and tasted her lip with my tongue and she opened her mouth to me, allowing me to explore and taste her in the most tantalizing way. I felt more comfortable this way, not so afraid of hurting her as I was when she dominated the kiss. When she needed to come up for air, I kissed her cheek, and trailed tiny kisses along her jaw to her earlobe. I traced the shell of her ear with my tongue before blowing a cool breath over it, causing her to shiver deliciously. The smell of Bella's arousal once more filled the air and I inhaled deeply.
"How am I doing so far?" I whispered in her ear.
"Better than I remembered," she whispered back and her face flushed with embarrassment. I was running my nose slowly up and down her jaw, breathing in the scent of arousal and freesias and strawberries and Bella. God, how I've missed this. I was just getting ready to tell her as much when I heard it.
Well, that certainly didn't take long. Jasper. My helium balloon popped in the stratosphere and I came crashing back down to Earth. I pulled away from Bella quickly and she looked at me, confused and seemingly hurt. I didn't have time to ponder that, though. I mouthed his name to her and pointed at the door silently.
"Oh!" she mouthed back, and I didn't need to be an empath to feel the guilt emanating from her at that moment.
Jasper knocked on the door, and I took another step backwards. Bella smoothed out her clothes and hair quickly before turning to open the door. Thick rainclouds had rolled in, darkening the sky and the rain was pouring down. When had that happened? How long had we been kissing?
Jasper was standing in the rain, his hair drenched and hanging in his face. Bella turned back to look at me for a moment, her eyes apologetic, before she slowly stepped out the door and closed it behind her.
I sat down in the chair and closed my eyes, willing myself to calm, knowing that it was no use. It was far too late. He already felt every bit of the love and desire I was feeling, and whatever Bella was feeling at the moment.
Jasper's POV
Bella and I just stood and stared at each other for the longest moment. I picked her up and carried her, rained be damned, and ran. I didn't know where I was running to, and I didn't care. I just ran.
We ended up somewhere in the woods. The tree cover was thick enough to somewhat shield her from the rain, and I sat us down on a boulder.
"I'm sorry…" we both said at the same time. I pulled her into my lap and held her.
"I shouldn't have left the way I did, Bella. I know that. It just hurt so much, I felt like I was being tortured by Jane." Bella nodded.
"I understand why you left at that moment. I do. But then you didn't call, you didn't come back, nothing. It made me feel like I did when Edward left me. I can't wait to not have birthdays anymore; they always suck. You know that this is killing me, too, Jasper, but you just abandoned me." Bella shed a tear and she brushed it away angrily with the back of her hand.
"Didn't seem like it was killing you a minute ago," I grumbled. "What was that back there, Bella? The lust I felt through that door was palpable, and it wasn't just coming from Edward." I tried to keep the accusation out of my voice. I told myself I wasn't going to do this.
"I know." Bella hung her head down in shame. "I'm sorry."
"Were you thinking about me?" I hoped.
"No, I wasn't, Jasper. I'm not going to lie to you. Kelly was there earlier and I kissed Edward in front of her. We told her yesterday that we're 'back together.' After Kelly left, Edward was teasing me about it and we got caught up in the moment. I'm so sorry. This is so confusing."
I swallowed back the hurt and jealousy and tried to be as honest with her as I could be. "Bella, I took a lot of time to think about this while I was hunting. I realize that this is situation is going to blur the lines for you, and I don't want to make it any harder on you than it already is. I want you to know that I will try and be as understanding about it as I can be, and I don't want you to feel guilty about anything you have to do to make this ruse work, even if you see that it hurts me. Just please be patient with me, sweetheart, because I'm going to have a very hard time with my jealousy. And most important of all…please remember that I love you and need you and will be counting down the moments until we can be together again." Bella felt euphoric, as though a huge weight had been lifted.
"I love you, too, Jasper. Thank you."
I kissed Bella softly. I would have been content to stay there forever, but the rain was starting to come down harder and Bella was shivering from the cold. I picked her back up and ran back to Edward's. I set her down gently on the porch and turned and ran again before I broke the promise I'd made just five minutes ago.
Edward's POV
Bella was only gone about 20 minutes, but it felt like forever. I was worried about her. Was he jealous? Was he angry? I thought maybe I should try and follow them, make sure she was alright. I had to keep telling myself he wouldn't hurt her, he loved her, too. And then the jealousy started. Was she kissing him with the same passion she had just kissed me? Was she thinking of him when she kissed me? I could have sworn she was right there with me, but maybe I was wrong. Maybe it was just wishful thinking. I was just starting to get really angry at myself when I heard Jasper set Bella back down on the porch and leave. Bella came back in the room, soaking wet, and smiled at me. She looked…relieved.
I jumped out of my seat and ran to her, putting my hands on her shoulders. "Is everything alright, Bella?"
"Yes, everything's fine. He seems like he's handling this much better now. The time away seems to have done him good."
"I'm glad. And how about you? Are you okay?" Bella nodded.
"Just a little wet!" Bella pulled me into a tight hug, getting me almost as wet as she was. She pulled back, laughing, and I realized she'd done it on purpose. I growled at her playfully and she ran to the bedroom. I let her beat me. I stuck out my lower lip in an exaggerated pout as she slammed the bedroom door in my face and locked it, laughing hysterically. I heard her laughter die down and her wet clothes hit the bathroom floor and realized she wasn't going to open the door again anytime soon, so I walked away to give her some privacy.
Alice and Adrian showed up a few minutes later, carrying a couple of grocery bags with them.
"The boxes are under the bed cover in the back of the truck, but we'll have to wait until after dinner for the rain to stop," Alice said as she jumped up and kissed me on the cheek. Adrian followed behind her and tilted his head up in greeting since his hands were full.
"You guys will have to get the motorcycle some other time," Adrian said.
"No problem. The weather's supposed to be better tomorrow, maybe Bella and I can pick it up on our way home from school tomorrow." I said as I closed the door behind them.
"Where is Bells?" Adrian asked.
"She's getting dried off. Jasper showed up a little bit ago and they went somewhere to talk for a little bit." I shrugged my shoulders.
"Yeah, he showed up at the house just as we were getting ready to leave. He seemed to be in full pout mode," Adrian said.
"Really? Bella said that he was better when she saw him."
"Well, I'm sure seeing her and then dropping her back on your doorstep probably took the wind out of his sails. Don't worry, he'll be alright." Alice flitted into the kitchen. I heard the blow dryer turn off and Bella unlocked the door and headed back for the living room. As soon as she saw Adrian, she ran and leaped into his arms. He picked her up off the ground and hugged her tight.
"Tinker Bells! I've missed you, baby!" He gave her a kiss on the cheek and set her back down. "Did you save me any Phish Food?" Bella rolled her eyes at him.
"You guys have a seat and relax. Bella and I will make dinner."
"Sounds cool to me! Got any beer?" Adrian asked. I tossed him one over the island and tried not to cringe when he used the edge of the coffee table to pop the cap off.
Bella and I had a ball making dinner. I did all the chopping, she did all the measuring and stirring and before long we had a lovely looking dinner of broiled maple glazed salmon, steamed veggies, and risotto. It smelled horrid, but Bella and Adrian practically inhaled it, so I assumed it was satisfactory. After dinner, Adrian pulled Alice into his lap in the chair and Bella sat next to me on the couch.
"So, you start sleeping at the dorms tonight?" I asked conversationally.
"Yeah, but I managed to get a dorm on the third floor, so the windows open. The windows don't open on the higher floors. Guess they don't want people jumping," Adrian chuckled. "So Ally'll be able to jump in the window after curfew!" Adrian smacked her ass and Alice squealed. They both seemed much happier, too. Maybe this wouldn't be as bad as I thought.
Bella got out the ice cream, for which Adrian was eternally grateful, and we played cards for a couple of hours before they had to go. We walked them to the door and Bella hugged and kissed them both goodbye before they left. When we closed the door, I put my arm around Bella's shoulders and gave her a quick squeeze before I started cleaning up. Bella joined me cleaning up then got ready for bed while I made her some tea. I took it into the bedroom for her and she smiled at me gratefully.
"Goodnight, Bella." I kissed her forehead before turning to leave.
"Wait!" She called and I turned around. "We're supposed to be doing what we used to do, right?"
"Riiight…"
"Well…you used to hold me and sing me to sleep. I was thinking maybe it would help keep the nightmares away." I wasn't sure what to do. Somehow laying down with her while she was still awake seemed so much harder than coming in to comfort her once her nightmares began. I knew we were going to have to do it once Felix and Heidi showed up anyway, but I was having a hard enough time staying detached from the situation as it was, and this definitely wasn't going to help. "Never mind…it was a bad idea…I'm sorry," Bella stuttered, embarrassed.
"No, Bella, it's a great idea." Bella scooted over to make room for me and pulled back the covers. When she curled her body against mine, this time fully aware of who was lying next to her when she did it, the helium balloon took flight once more. I wrapped my arms around her and kissed the top of her head. She made a small, contented sound against my chest while I hummed her lullaby. As she predicted, her sleep was blessedly nightmare-free.
A/N: The Naked Cullen Boys are taking the Cullendales Spectacular to Jacksonville, FL! You never know where they'll show up next!