I'm too tired to say anything. So instead I'll say:
READ ON!
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"WAHAHAHAHAHA!!!" Bullets flew everywhere and RED's Heavy roared his approval, "CRY SOME MORE!!!"
BLU's Scout cried out and dove for cover. Unfortunately, that cover was, in actuality, their cart that was heavy laden with BOMBS. He prayed silently that the bullets Heavy was spewing wouldn't set one of (and then the rest of) the bombs off prematurely…
He hopped up and shot a round at the enemy with his pistol. Nothing. RED's Medic was probably hiding behind him like a chicken shit pussy, healing whatever was dealt to his meat shield. He could only hope that things would get better. Maybe BLU's Spy would take them down for him? Maybe BLU's Sniper would end up capping one of them in the head?
No such luck. In fact, BLU's Pyro soon joined Scout behind the bomb cart, "Hey!" Scout shouted, "This is MY hideout! Go find your own!"
"Mmph!" Pyro retorted. Scout shoved on Pyro who shoved back. The two came dangerously close to pushing each other out in firing sight, and soon they opted to hug each other in fear and wait for rescue.
It took the two a few moments to realize that hugging each other wasn't the best choice of action, (as it seemed the readers were too busy breathing heavily to continue reading), so Scout took it upon himself to think up the next plan, "Look, we don't have much time," the young man said. Pyro nodded, "in five minutes, I'm sure RED'll get their reinforcements over here, and we'll be screwed in more ways than one." Pyro stopped nodding and simply stared in what Scout assumed was fear, "So we'll just have to work together and push this thing while Heavy fires aimlessly, and be glad he's not smart enough for anything else."
"Mmph!" Pyro replied, nodding again. And so, the two got into a crouching position and the cart squeaked along the tracks.
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As the cart moved, however, RED's Medic blinked at the tiny cart that moved along, "Heavy! Heavy, you dummkopf! Zee kart iz getting avay!"
"Don't be silly, Medic!" Heavy shouted over Sasha's roaring bullets, "No one is there to push Baby Team's cart!" Medic stared as the cart moved along with both Scout and Pyro hiding behind it, and he sighed at his addle headed entourage.
"I haff no time for zis," he hissed, abandoning his medigun and loading up his syringes. Heavy hardly noticed that he wasn't getting extra special treatment (indeed, like most of the time, he didn't seem to notice that Medic was keeping him alive about 75 percent of the time), so Medic took this time to point his gun upward. He calculated the arc trajectory, and fired.
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Scout was thinking himself pretty slick by this point. He had outsmarted the dumb Heavy Weapons Guy, and both he and Pyro were able to inch the bomb closer to the checkpoint. Score one for the BLUs!
And then the sky turned terrifyingly dark. Scout blinked and looked up, and his eyes widened, "Pyro! Get down!" Both he and Pyro held the cart in place and dove to the ground, covering their heads and bracing for the impact.
Fourty large syringes dropped downwards onto them, piercing their skin and embedding themselves in the two's flesh. The pain was horrendous, and Scout groaned when it was all over. He stared at Pyro, who was gasping for air through his/her gas mask, and they surveyed the damage on each other. The two of them were hurt, but at least they were okay…
Pyro then looked up and s/he shook his/her head. Another wave was raining down. They shut their eyes and crouched back down, holding onto each other for reinforcement. The pain was excruciating, and they knew they wouldn't be able to survive another assault.
"Heh…" Scout muttered, pulling syringes from his hands with pained winces, "Guess we're going down together, eh?" Pyro stared at the young man, "But you know? I'm glad to lose my life for the cause, but I'm happier that I'm with a friend…"
The two stared at each other, and Scout nodded, "Let's push this cart as far as it'll go… for the others."
"Mmph," Pyro muttered in agreement. Scout couldn't quite understand him/her, but he was sure that s/he agreed, "For the others…"
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Medic took a moment to turn back to his friend. Heavy seemed worse for wear, but it would be simple to heal him up. The two behind that cart would come later; the last thing he wanted was RED's Soldier berating him for losing ANOTHER Heavy.
Not that they weren't expendable, and dumb, and everything else that infuriated Medic. And yet, the German decided against his better judgment to take a moment of respite to heal his Heavy and return to "Zee Bloodbazz", but he saw something fly into the sky. He looked upwards, but he was blinded by the sun and had to cover his eyes with his hand.
It was then that three tiny blue pipebombs landed next to RED's Heavy and Medic. Medic's eyes widened and he looked up "Heavy! Nein! Fall back!"
There was an explosion, and BLU's Demoman rubbed his nose in delight, "Awww, Ye little dandies, prancin' aboot wit yer head full o' eyeballs! They're gunna hafta glue you back together! IN HELL!"
"Enough of zee Schadenfreude," BLU's Medic said from down below Demoman's perch on the rocky outcrops, "You zay zat every time you blow some schweinhund to smizzareenz."
"And what ah ye gunna do aboot it, MEDIC?" Demoman hissed, "Now git out der and do yer job fer once!"
"For ONCE," Medic retorted, too appalled to give a better one, "I'll give you 'for once'! Next time, you von't GET any healink, vat do you zink of ZAT, hmmm!?"
The two bickered for a bit until Demoman laid a ring of sticky bombs around Medic, who hopped out of the ring and rushed off to find the cart and the victims of his rival.
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"I don't know… how much more I can take of this…" Scout began to murmur. He hacked and then slipped on his own blood, and Pyro grunted as s/he tried to keep the cart going uphill when Scout lost his footing, "I… it hurts…"
Pyro stared at the back of Scout's head, and s/he reached out, plucking a syringe from the young man's back, "What the!? Holy crap! Asshole, WARN me next time!"
"Mmph," Pyro warned indifferently, plucking another one.
"Ouch, that HURTS! What if I did that to YOU, huh? Huh!?"
"Too late, I already did zat for him," Medic's voice came from behind them. Scout blinked as he turned around and stared incredulously at his "friend", "In fact, I already healed her wounds. He iz fit az a fiddle." Scout stared at Medic and cursed as Pyro pulled out another syringe, "'Fit az a fiddle' means…"
"I KNOW what it means, where the HELL did you come from, anyway?" he gave a screech when Pyro pulled yet another syringe out of his flesh, "OWW What the HELL!?"
"You'll shut your mouth if you want to LIVE, MAGGOT. All your shouting could attract the enemies' attention!" BLU's Soldier shouted louder than Scout did before. Everyone rolled their eyes. "If you can't handle a little pain, you prissy little girl, then you sit the hell out with Mother Goose here."
"Zomeday I vill feast on your entrailz, Soldier," Medic said dangerously. Soldier ignored him.
"Right then, Pyro, PUSH!" Pyro stopped annoying Scout and both s/he and Soldier grasped the cart and shoved hard. The two moved along, and Scout frowned as Medic went through the tedious task of pulling the syringes from the young man's back (and made sure that Scout wasn't watching as he licked the blood off the needles).
After one such removal of the horrendous things, Scout suddenly looked up, "Yo, Pyro!" The BLU member turned when s/he heard his/her "name" called, and Scout smiled, "Take care, you hear? We may be living a while longer, but if I die, it'll be at your side!"
Pyro stared without a reply. Then, s/he lifted his/her hand and gave his/her friend a "Thumbs up". S/he and Soldier then continued their trek, leaving Scout to smile, relax, and be glad he had such great friends.
"OWWW! GOD, can you do it any MORE painfully?"
"Yes, vant to see?"
End
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Hope you enjoyed it!