DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT=[ STEPHANIE MEYER GETS ALL THE DAMN CREDIT!

Once I had got settled into my new "home", my mom and Phil had to leave to the airport. It didn't really surprise me that they would be leaving. I expected it.

The summer had been going okay, so far. You could say I have become Anti – Social, because I usually stay at my mother's home all day. I still eat a lot and I haven't got around to working out.

I had gotten one friend in Florida, so far. Her name is Sophia and she is the housekeeper. She had light brown hair with blue, gray eyes. Sophia is 21 and has no family. Her parents died when she was young and they had no remaining family to take care of her. She went into an orphanage and was passed from foster home to foster home.

Finally, when she was 18, she got out of that "hell hole" (her words not mine) and started to live on her own. She found this job in the newspaper and she immediately wanted to work here.

She was really funny and sometimes had me rolling on the floor.

Some days, I didn't get to be so fortunate. Memories of my days in Forks came flooding back to me and I would just breakdown. It was hard to just let go. I knew I never would, but maybe if I find some new friends and have a new social life, it would somehow fill this emptiness inside of me.

But let's face it, I am a lost cause. The guilt is just eating me alive. I don't have one nightmare where Alice's face of hurt is not present. And I can't help but to think that I caused that.

And Edward. I always wondered what he said or did after I had left. He probably accepted all the apologies that Ali and Rose gave him for not seeing what a horrible person I am. He might even told them that he got token advantage of by me. From what I saw and heard he did with girls, I think that would have fit his personality.

A week before my home tutor would start lessons, I didn't feel too good. I was sometimes nauseated and would occasionally throw up. Sophia pestered me to go to the doctor, but I said it would be a waste of time. If it was the flu, I already knew what to do to get better.

It was now three weeks after, so basically a month of throwing up and not being able to hold anything down except saltine crackers. I was a mess. Sophia had grown worried about me and was not so subtly dropping hints that I should go to the doctor. She would talk about doctors at the hospital. She even mentioned that she would be a doctor for Halloween this year.

At last I couldn't get enough, so I set up an appointment this week end. My mom was coming the next day, so hopefully she wouldn't worry when I told her that I knew what I had and I would get better.

For some reason, my dreams would be about Edward holding something and every time. I would step near, the image would disappear and turn into other incoherent dreams.

It was the night before my doctors appointment and I was in my bed, sound asleep. Once again the image of Edward came up, but I paid extra attention. It was like the object he had in his hands would have all the answers. But I didn't know to what questions.

I was getting closer and I examined the object, making every detail imprinted in my memory. My mind finally registered that the object had blankets around it. The color was a mesh of blue and pink. It was as if, the blanket was undecided which color to pick.

All I had to do was take one more step and I would finally get my answers to my unknown questions. I looked at Edward he was smiling down at the object with some emotion that was unidentifiable. I looked down and saw…

I bolted up into a sitting position. I grabbed my sweatshirt and keys. When I got to my car, I put the key in the ignition as fast as I could. I pressed on the gas pedal and went as fast as I could handle to my destination.

The 24 hour pharmacy was now in my line of vision and I turned a sharp right into the parking lot. I got out and slammed the door.

When I got to the aisle of pregnancy test, I didn't know which to choose. So I just grabbed 3 random boxes and went to go pay for them. A couple of minutes later I was back at the house in my bathroom. I still hadn't gotten the courage to read the instructions on how to use them.

I took a deep breath and started to read them and peed on each of the sticks. I set the timer for and took a seat on top of my bathroom counter.

In those short minutes, I had come to the fact that I may be pregnant. Edward and I were both drunk and we weren't even that rational to know what was going on around us, let alone ask the other if they had a condom. All I knew was that if these tests came out positive, I would not cry.

This summer I learned that crying would not get you anywhere. It was just a waste of time. The ache in your heart still hurts the same, if not worst. I automatically knew that I would keep the baby. I didn't know if my parents would support me, so I would have to start looking for a job if the tests and the doctor said I was pregnant. In my heart, I think I knew the real answer.

The timer went off and I automatically went to go look at the test. A plus sign, two lines, and a smiley face were all staring right back at me. I let out a sigh. It wasn't a content sigh (I was somewhat happy, just more scared. It was a sigh that held no meaning.

A tear escaped me. No! I mentally scolded myself. I told myself not to cry. I was just glad that I would go to the doctor to confirm my pregnancy.

Yes, to confirm. I already knew that I was pregnant. All the signs were there and the all the dreams I have been having. It all added up. And I had to admit to myself that I was glad. This pregnancy will take up my time and I would have something to do.

There was a nagging in the back of my mind. I needed to make a decision on telling Edward or not. For the first time, I felt helpless.