Chapter 8- Video Games
It's you, it's you, it's all for you, everything I do
I tell you all the time Heaven is a place on Earth with you
Tell me all the things you want to do
I heard that you like the bad girls honey is that true
It's better than I ever even knew
They saw that the world was built for two
Only worth living if somebody is loving you
And baby now you do
Video Games by Lana Del Rey
October 27th 2004
I was finishing up my shift at my new job, it was just waitressing at the cafe my cousin owned but it meant I had some sort of income, I still hadn't figured out how I was going to support this baby. Kozik had assured me that he was going to chip in but I didn't want to rely on him for money, I didn't want to be some nagging baby momma.
I was now twelve weeks along and I had a small baby bump, meaning that I had to go shopping for more clothes, which was hard seeing as how I was trying to save money. Lana paid for most of the clothes, saying that it was a gift, although it felt more like charity to me.
I collected my tips, thanking my cousin, and left. Kozik was sitting on his bike waiting for me.
"You know I won't be able to ride bitch with you soon" I said standing next to him
"You'll have to find a new ride then won't you" he joked
I smacked his shoulder playfully and got on the back of the bike, wrapping my arms around his waist. He started the bike and we rode off.
We went the usual way home, but this time he started going a different way. I frowned in confusion, not knowing where he was taking me. We pulled up in front of house. It was one storey, with a small garden of flowers out the front. Kozik grabbed my hand and pulled me inside the house, smiling at my shock.
It was medium sized, with three bedrooms and one bathroom. The kitchen was large and so was the living room. I walked out the back to see a large backyard with a garden.
"What do you think?" Asked Kozik
"It's great, but why are we here?" I asked still confused
"Because, this is our new home, put the deposit down today. We can move in in the next few days" he said grinning
I was so happy, I was getting every thing I wanted, everything was falling into place. I flung my arms around Kozik's neck. He picked me up, my legs wrapping around him.
"I love you so much Kozik" I said, holding his face in my hands
"I love you too" he said kissing me
We had started moving in the next day. There wasn't much stuff to move yet, seeing as how we didn't own much. Just a bed and a couch so far. My stuff was piled up Ik boxes, Kozik's were too but he had much less than me.
Lee walked in carrying a box, Lana behind him. She rushed forward to hug me, while Lee shook Kozik's hand.
"We bought you some stuff" said Lana opening the box
"You shouldn't have" I said but she cut me off
"Think of it as a home warming present, besides doesn't look like you have much anyway" she said
I sighed in defeat and walked up to her to help her unpack the box. There were some plates, cutlery and glasses in there. Pots and pans, basic utensils that we would need.
"Not much, you'll still need to buy more but it's something" she said
"Thank you so much" I said, tears filling my eyes
"Come on no need to cry" said Lana
Lee was edging away from me, crying girls had never been his forte, let alone crying emotional pregnant girls.
"Sorry, damn hormones" I said, laughing while I dried my eyes
They helped us unpack, Lee and Kozik doing any heavy lifting. It felt good to have them here with us, felt like a family, and that family would soon be growing. I rubbed my hand absentmindedly I over my belly, leaning on the door frame watching Kozik and Lee having a beer out the back.
"Five more months now, are you nervous?" Asked Lana who had walked up behind me
"About being pregnant or being a mother?" I asked
"Both"
"Well I'm nervous about the birth, but I'm not really nervous about being a mother. I love this kid, and I'll have Kozik" I said happily
"Your a good woman Valerie, good Old Lady" she said walking out to Lee
Lee and Lana left not long after their conversation. What she had said got me thinking. Was I Kozik's Old Lady? I mean I might as well have been. But of course he hasn't actually branded me as his yet.
We were sitting on the couch, I was curled up in his arms, we were watching tv. Kozik was intently watching the news, while I was watching him.
"Kozik, am I your Old Lady?" I asked
Kozik tore his eyes away from the screen to look at me "Of course you are baby" he assured me
"Why haven't you put a crow on me yet?" I asked
"After you have the baby, heard it was bad for pregnant women" he said causing me to smile
"Where'd you find that our?" I asked, surprised that he knew that
"I asked Happy, wanted to do it a few weeks ago" he said
I snuggled back into Kozik, satisfied with his answer. I soon fell asleep, I dreamt about my baby, my future with Kozik.
SOASOASOA
November 1st 2004
Kozik had been gone on a run for the past few days, I had been busting myself with work but now I was at the clubhouse waiting eagerly for his return. I sat on top of a picnic table, Lana sitting next to me. The sound of motorbikes roaring filled my ears as the pulled into the lot. I jumped off the table, taking a few steps closer, my eyes searching for Kozik. Sure enough I saw him and sprinted over, jumping into his outstretched arms.
"God I missed you" I mumbled into his chest
"I was only gone a few days" he said putting me on the ground but not letting go of me
"And it was pure torture" I said smiling up at him
"Come on" he said slinging his arm over my shoulder and leading me inside the clubhouse
The party had started and the guys were already starting to drink, scantily clad women were walking around. I clung by either Kozik's or Lana's side for most of the night. Danny kept looking over at me, so much sadness in his eyes that I was beginning to feel sad for him.
I was sitting on the bar, holding a drink of lemonade in my hand. Kozik was off playing pool and Lana had gone somewhere with Lee. I heard someone sit next to me, I looked over to see a bald man, covered in tattoos with dark piercing eyes.
He looked me up and down, his eyes stopping at my stomach "Your Kozik's Old Lady aren't you?" He asked
"Yeah, your Happy" I said vaguely recollecting some childhood memories
His face twisted in confusion on how I knew who he was.
"I'm Lee's god daughter, he brought me around here, I remember seeing you once" I said
"Good memory" he said taking a sip of his beer
"I asked who you were and Lee told me your name, but I said that it didn't make any sense because you didn't look Happy" I said, not knowing why I was saying this
Happy laughed at me, a smile on his face, proving that I was wrong.
"Hey, I was eight at the time so I asked a lot of stupid questions" I said laughing
"You don't look stupid to me" he said seriously
His intense gaze made me somewhat uncomfortable but I found that I could not look away. I was dragged from this trance when I heard Kozik's laughter.
"It's probably because I'm the only woman here wearing a decent amount of clothing" I said getting up and walking over to Kozik.
"Hey, come over to see me beat these losers" he said pulling me to him
"Actually I was just about to head off, it's getting late and I have work tommorow" I said
"Sure, see you at home, love you" he said
"Love you too" I said kissing him
I could hear Bowie and Bull teasing Kozik as I walked away, smiling to myself. I walked out of the clubhouse, seeing Happy standing next to his bike putting his helmet on.
"You leaving the party already?" I asked walking up to him
"Yeah, visiting my mum" he said sitting on the bike
"Where does she live?" I asked
"In Bakersfield, she's getting sick, I visit her whenever I can" he said looking up at me
"It's good that you visit her" I said smiling
"You must trust Kozik, leaving him in there with all those crow eaters" he said
"And you must really love your mum if your leaving all this free pussy and booze" I said
Happy laughed at my counterattack, he obviously didn't think I would say anything like that to him.
"Nice one Kid" he said getting ready to ride away
"To answer your question I do trust Kozik" I said
"To answer yours, I do love my mum" he said starting the bike and riding away
I watched him ride off until I could no longer see him, turning around and walking to my car. I saw someone out if the corner of my eye, turning to see Lana's watchful gaze. We locked eyes, holding each others gaze for a few seconds before she walked back inside. I got in my car and started driving back home, wondering what I had done to receive such an icy glare from Lana.