Dedicated to the real Love Triangle in TF2: Pyro/Medic/Heavy. Everyone seems to love the Medic and Heavy couple during battle, but I've found that when I join a group with no medics or heavies, suddenly three guys turn Heavy and immediately DEMAND me to follow them like I'm THEIRS or something.
HELL. NO.
Pyros, on the other hand, tend to actually care about me. If I am watching their back, I have a much better chance of being protected than if I head with a Heavy.
Of course, there's always exceptions, but this is how I've found most games to be. So there we are. Anyway...
READ ON!
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BLU's Pyro yawned widely as s/he tucked his/her purse in his/her locker and left the BLU's locker room, ready for some spy checking.
"Uff, Herr Pyro, vere do you zink you're goink?" Pyro's eyebrows knitted in surprise and turned around to see BLU's Medic, looking, for once, rather uninterested in the battle that would soon be happening, "As much as vee don't seem to get along, Heavy is avay at zee moment und I have no one to vatch my back. Perhapz it vould be beneficial for us to verk togezer today?"
Pyro stared at Medic, checked behind him (to make sure he had a shadow and was therefore not a doppelganger), and then stared at him some more. Medic then rolled his eyes as Pyro wasted half of his/her gasoline on making DAMN WELL SURE this was the actual Medic and not some filthy RED Spy, "YEZ, it iz me, Medic, can vee GO or vill I find Herr Demoman to vatch out for, eh?"
Pyro shrugged, turned, and let Medic follow behind him/her at a leisurely pace. It was cool (or maybe… hot?) to having an umbilical cord of life and health coming at him/her all the time. S/he walked to the entrance of their base, waited two seconds, and fired up his/her flamethrower.
S/he created a nice stream of fire that tripped up RED's Soldier and sent him running back from whence he came, screaming for RED's Medic. Pyro turned to Medic, smiled, and gave him a thumbs up. Medic couldn't reply with a hand gesture, but he shrugged, "By zee vay, I zought I zaw zumzink from zee zewers."
Pyro saluted his/her friend, lit up his/her flamethrower, and soon a RED outline appeared as RED Spy screeched in pain. "Madre del Dio!" The two watched in utter satisfaction as he did a tiny dance before them, and afterwards curled up into a fetal position and slowly roasted to death.
"Zat vas aktually quite fun to vatch…" Medic mused at the charred corpse. He blinked as Pyro lifted up a large, two pronged fork. On the tip was an Oscar Mayer wiener. Medic laughed aloud.
"Zo ZIS iz vat you do on a regular basiz!" Medic proclaimed, taking to the proffered dog and cooking it over the human flesh, "How doez it taste after?"
Medic didn't actually see it, but he could feel Pyro's eyes sparkling with delight. Apparently, human flesh made for good smoked meat. Any other person would have recoiled in horror, but it was right down Medic's alley, "It'z a pity, though. He muzt have had a fine brain to dissect."
Pyro shrugged. S/he didn't save anything, usually. There was silence for a moment, and s/he spoke up, "Mmphmm phphhmph?"
"Hmmm? Oh, you needn't vorry yourzelf over zat," Medic replied, "But if for zome reason you CAN save zomezing, I vould appreciate it." The two looked at each other; they had come to a strange understanding, but it was there, and nothing would change it. Pyro leaned on his/her flamethrower. S/he wished that s/he could spend a little more time with the Medic…
Pyro whirled around when s/he heard something spinning. Oh God, it was Sasha, and BLU's Heavy was indeed away for the day. Medic heard the gun as well; he stood to pull out his medigun but Pyro wasn't an idiot. S/he couldn't keep those bullets from ripping Medic asunder, and there was NO way s/he would losing the one person who actually stood next to him/her without flinching or running. This guy was JUST as insane as him/her and s/he would NOT lose him! S/he grabbed his collar and dragged him back behind a wall.
"Vat is zee plan?" Medic whispered. Pyro thought for a moment, and lifted his/her finger to the tip of his/her gas mask. The answer was simple: Stay here and BE QUIET.
Medic opened his mouth but Pyro disappeared around the corner. He twitched when he heard Sasha roar to life, but the bullets flew into his line of sight, and no blood was left in their wake. Did Pyro manage to find a safe haven? He loaded up his syringes and waited for Sasha to quiet down. Then he turned and poked his head out. Ahh! Pyro managed to escape into the hallway between Medic's hideout and the RED Heavy's gun. There was only one problem: now that Heavy couldn't see Pyro, he decided to settle on the next best thing. Medic saw his enemy's eyes lock onto his, and he opened his mouth and shut it like a beached fish.
Sasha revved up and Medic realized that he was not going to get out of this alive. He pulled himself back and retreated into a corner as he saw the bullets fly. Sasha calmed down, and Medic heard Heavy creep forward, "Doktooor! I'm looking for you…!"
…
It probably would have been fairly scary if not for the fact that Heavy moved like a SLUG and would probably round the corner in seven years, minimum. But then he heard a sound that made him smile. Pyro lit his/her flamethrower, and Heavy gave a shout as he was roasted alive.
Medic blinked when he heard gunfire, and lifted his medigun to care for his partner. He rounded the corner, stepped over the remains of his enemy, and inspected Pyro. He had been torn apart, point blank, by Sasha, and he was bleeding out fast, "You're lucky you have me here, Pyro…" Medic said nonchalantly. Pyro didn't doubt his words; it was the first time, however, that Medic went out of his way to help him/her. When the wounds were secure and the metal removed from his/her body, Pyro took Medic's hand and stood, "Now zen, az I vaz sayi…" Medic blinked as Pyro took Medic's shoulder and wrapped his/her other arm around the doctor's back, squeezing him in a half hug of appreciation.
"Mmph… phhhhhmmph…"
Medic blinked through his glasses at the physical contact.
Thank you… for being there…
"G…Get off me, you zentimental dummkopf!" Medic shouted, struggling with the overtly emotional form. Finally, Medic pried Pyro off of him and resisted the urge to smack his patient around (as the mask would end up hurting him more than Pyro) "I did it because I you were zere and I HAD TO if I vas going to hear zee end of anyzink from zat schweinhund Soldier, zo ZTOP, TOUCHINK."
Pyro nodded in understanding and Medic cursed to himself, "Bah, Mein Gott, iz everyone in zis base a child?"
"Mmph…?"
Medic turned to Pyro, sighed, and rolled his eyes, "But it vas nice, I zuppose. To hear zome thankz. Y…You're velcome, Pyro. Very much so." Pyro laughed aloud and Medic smiled, "Perhaps accompanying you vas not zuch a bad idea after all… Vee could continue zis state of affairs, ja?"
Pyro nodded vigorously, and Medic bowed low, allowing him/her to move ahead of him. "Very vell, zen. Lead zee vay…"
And then something horrible happened.
"AHH! DOKTOR!" Pyro looked up at BLU's Heavy, who just returned from a three day trip to civilization and markets with BLU's Engineer.
"Ahh, good morning, Herr Heavy, I zought you vould be here later today," Medic said, waltzing past Pyro to speak to his normal meat shield.
"Engineer was worried about baby machines! He was afraid Spy would sap!" Heavy laughed aloud, "He drove so fast I nearly lost Sandvich!"
"Vonderful, zen we can get zis show on zee road, ja?" Medic said, turning on his heel and snapping his fingers, "Vee should find Soldier and go on zee offensive zen."
"Right you are!" Heavy proclaimed, following after Medic like a puppy. Pyro watched as the two left without so much as acknowledging his/her existence. S/he stared at them, and tried to speak up, but they rounded a corner and disappeared. His/her new friend, gone… Heavy… Heavy took away the Medic that Pyro wanted to get to know just a little bit better…
No one could see it, but a small tear trickled down his/her cheek…
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I dunno, really...