Chapter 15- What I wouldn't do
If we were children I would bake you a mud pie
Warm and brown beneath the sun
Never learned to climb a tree but I would try
Just to show you what I've done
Oh what I wouldn't do
If I had you babe, if I had you
Oh what I wouldn't do
If I had you babe, if I had you
If I were old, my dearest you would be older
But I would crawl up on your lap
Wrap a blanket round our frail little shoulders
And I'd die happily like that
What I wouldn't do by A Fine Frenzy
November 28th 2004
I walked up the driveway of Lee's house carrying a plate of food. Kozik walked up next to me and took the plate from me.
"You know I'm pregnant, not invalid, I can carry a plate of food" I said
"I know, I'm just taking care of you" he said
"And that's why I love you" I said wrapping my arms around his waist
When we reached the door I knocked, Lana opened it straight away and let us inside, taking the plate off of Kozik. We walked into the dining room where everybody was. Bowie walked up to us, hugging Kozik. A woman was standing behind him, she was around the same height as me with long straight dark brown hair and light brown eyes.
"This is my Old Lady, Ava" he said pulling her forward
"Ava this is Kozik and his Old Lady Valerie" said Bowie
I stuck out my hand, Ava took a few seconds before shaking it. She seemed to relax a bit when she saw that I wasn't threatening her in any way. Kozik nodded to her, kissed my cheek and him and Bowie walked off.
"How long have you been with Bowie?" I asked
"Only a month" she said nervously fiddling with her shirt
"Hey, don't be so nervous, your his Old Lady and that means something. Don't worry about me, the real problem is Lana" I said pointing over to Lana
"I've been avoiding her all night, didn't have enough guts to face her" she said letting out a strangled laugh
"Come on, she won't be so bad if I'm there" I said leading her over to Lana
"Lana, this is Ava, Bowie's Old Lady" I said
"Hello Lana, I'm Lee's Old Lady" she said shaking her hand
"Nice to meet you Lana" she said
"You can breath, I'm not going to do anything to you" she said
Ava let out a breath and Lana walked back into the kitchen, getting the final plate of food and putting it down on the table.
"I wouldn't relax just yet, you still have to get through tonight" I warned
I walked over to the table, sitting down next to Kozik. I grabbed his hand and held onto it, smiling at him.
"How are you liking Ava?" He asked
"She seems nice" I said
"How's Lana being with her?" He asked
"She's just waiting to grill her, I'm so glad I never went through that" I said
"So am I, Lana scares the shit out of me sometimes" he said looking over at Lana
"Aren't you glad you're not an Old Lady then" I said kissing him before starting to serve out my food
I looked around the room while I was eating, everyone was talking and laughing, enjoying each others company. This was my family and I loved them, despite all their shortcomings.
I was helping Lana and Ava clean everything up while the guys were having beers in the backyard.
"So Ava, how long have you been with Bowie?" Asked Lana, starting the interrogation
"Not long, a month" said Ava, leaning against the counter
"Are you serious?" She asked looking up from the plate she was drying
"Yeah, I guess we are" she said
"Are you ready to be an Old Lady?" She asked
"Yeah, sure, of course I am" she said unsure
"You know what being an Old Lady means?" She asked and Ava shook her head
"Being an Old Lady means that you look after your man, any way he asks. You do what he tells you. You don't ask about the club, he'll tell you what he wants to tell you" she said pointing a finger at Ava, Ava nodded her head and Lana continued
"When you become an Old Lady you get the respect, but you have to earn it. We need to know that your trustworthy, you'll have to prove yourself" she said
"It's okay" I whispered to Ava, putting my hand on her shoulder to try and reassure her
"And finally, being an Old Lady means that your completely monogamous to your man, but he isn't to you" she said earning a disapproving look from me and a horrified one from Ava
"Listen, what happens on a run stays on a run, but if it happens here then you are welcome to beat the shit out of the chick that was with him. So are you sure you're ready to be an Old Lady?" she said turning back to the dishes
I lead a shocked Ava out into the living room and sat down on the couch with her. Lana had not only given her the Old Lady speech to her, but to me also. I had grown up around the club but hadn't been around it much when I was actually able to understand all of this, so what she said had rocked me to the core.
"Hey, don't worry about Lana, she just wants to make sure that your ready for all of this" I said
"Has Kozik ever cheated on you?" She asked
"What Lana said in there, that doesn't apply to all of the guys. If Bowie loves you then it doesn't make a difference" I said
"Has he?" She asked again
"No, he never has" I said
Ava smiled at me and let out a relieved sigh. She got up and walked outside to find Bowie. I sat there thinking about what Lana had said. I didn't think that Kozik would ever cheat on me, but then again, I had never really set down the rules. I shook the thought from my head, no use worrying about something Lana had said to scare Ava. I got up and went outside, Kozik was sitting on a chair talking to Happy with a beer in his hand. I walked over to him, laying my hand on his shoulder.
"I'm going to head home, okay" I said
"Yeah sure, I'll come to" he said starting to get up
"No, you stay, I'll be fine" I said pushing him back down
"You sure?" He asked
"I'll follow her back" said Happy
"You don't have to" I said but he cut me off
"I've got to visit my mum anyway" he said getting up
"Thanks man" said Kozik
"See you at home, love you" I said kissing Kozik
I got up and walked back inside, grabbed my jacket and bag. I said goodbye to Ava and Lana before following Happy outside. I got in my car and started driving home, Happy following behind me.
When we got home I expected Happy to just leave but instead he followed me to the door. I opened the door and stepped inside before turning around.
"Do you want to come inside?" I asked
Happy didn't answer the question and just stared at me. I opened my mouth to say something but he grabbed my face and pulled me into a kiss. The kiss was passionate and I soon melted into it, kissing him back. When I realized what I was doing I pushed him away. I outstretched my hand and slapped him across the cheek. I turned around and slammed the door, sliding down onto the floor. I held my head in my hands, leaning on my knees. I can't believe he just did that. Why would he do that? I stood up and opened the door, wanting to ask him. He was on his bike and our eyes locked, he held the stare for a few seconds before starting the bike and driving away.
I walked back inside, locking the door behind me, and went into my bedroom. I sat down on my bed and replayed what had happened in my head. Happy had just kissed me, and for a moment a kissed him back, a moment of weakness. I just hoped to God that Happy didn't say anything to Kozik, though knowing him he wouldn't.
I had showered, changed into my pajamas and was laying curled up in bed. I heard the door open, felt the bed dip and arms wrap around me.
"Hey, have fun?" I asked
"Yeah, missed you there but" Kozik whispered into my ear
I turned over and laid my head down on his chest, his arms wrapped around me, holding me against him. My mind went back to what Lana had said, working up enough courage to talk to him about it.
"You know that cheating is a deal breaker with me, right?" I asked
"Yeah, of course" he said frowning "What brought this up?" He asked
"Something Lana said when she was telling Ava how to be a good Old Lady" I said smiling "You haven't, ever, been with anyone else?" I asked
"Why would I be with someone else when I have the best girl at home" he said kissing my head
I smiled at his reassurance and pushed down the guilt from kissing Happy, it didn't mean anything and Kozik would never know about it so it didn't matter.