I know that it's been a long time since I updated and I am really sorry. I lost my inspiration for this story but now I'm back and hopefully will be updating more.

Well when you go

Don't ever think I'll make you try to stay

And maybe when you get back

I'll be off to find another way

When you go

Would you even turn to say

I don't love you

Like I did Yesterday

'I don't love you' by My Chemical Romance

Chapter Fifteen

December 14th, 2004

I was sitting at home, itching to have a drink to deal with the stress. But I wasn't my father, or my uncle, or whoever he was. I would never let alcohol hurt my child.

I was holding in my hands the note I had found on my doorstep earlier today. It read:

Can't keep your pants on? You're just as bad as the whores who hang around the club. Rot in hell, cheater.

I was freaking out over the note. Who had written it? Who had seen me with Happy? Would they tell Kozik?

All of these thoughts were rushing around my head, I tried to calm down but it was no use. I was screwed and I knew it.

I quickly stuffed the note into my bag and drove over to the garage in search of Ava, maybe she'd know what to do.

"Ava" I said walking over to her, "I need to talk to you"

Ava simply nodded her head, getting into my car before I drove us back to my place. I later realized that it was rather stupid of me to drive all the way there when I could have just called Ava but I was thinking that far ahead.

"What's wrong?" She asked as soon as we were inside

"This" I said handing her the note

Ava read it, looking up at me in shock. She clearly didn't write it, not that I thought she had.

"This is bad" she said

"You think" I said, pacing the room, "If Kozik finds out that I kissed Happy. We'll be over"

"You might want to tell him" she said, "Before someone else does"

"I'm not telling him" I said, "I will, but not yet"

"The problem won't go away" she told me

"I know that" I said, "But that's me, I pretend there isn't a problem until it goes away or fixes itself. I thought that maybe if I ignored it everything would go back to normal. But it won't"

"You're having his kid" she said, "He wouldn't just completely cut you out of his life"

"I don't want to find out" I said

"You need time to figure things out" she said getting up, "I'll see you around"

"But you don't have a car" I said, "How will you get home?"

"Don't worry about me" she said, "You figure out your problems"

And with that she walked out of the house; leaving me alone with my thoughts, thoughts that I really didn't want to think about.

I was sitting at home waiting for Kozik to come home; we were meant to be going to my doctor's appointment but he hadn't come home yet, and if I didn't leave soon I would be late.

I could hear the rumble of a motorcycle outside, I quickly grabbed my bag and ran outside, expecting to see Kozik but instead it was Happy getting off the bike.

"What are you doing here?" I asked

"Kozik's busy, asked me to drop you off at your appointment" he told me

I couldn't help but be angry at Kozik, I wasn't just angry I was furious. What could he possibly be doing that was more important than my doctor's appointment?

"Fine" I said, scowling at him before climbing into the passenger seat of my car, waiting for him to get in.

As soon as he got in he started the car and we drove to the doctor's, with some directions from me. Happy parked the car and looked at me, waiting for me to get out.

I really didn't want to go in there alone, I needed Kozik but if Happy was the best I could do then that was okay.

"Come in with me" I said, giving him a pleading look, "Please"

Happy stared at me for awhile before finally agreeing, getting out of the car and following me inside. It wasn't long before I was lying down on the table, sitting up to look at the machine. I would never get tired of looking at my child, even if was just on a screen for now.

Even Happy seemed to be mesmerized by the child, he had a strange look on his face as he stared at the screen. I felt guilty that Happy was here and Kozik wasn't, but that was his choice.

Soon enough we were back in the car and heading home. Happy parked the car and we both got out and went inside.

"Thanks, for coming" I said as I handed him a beer, "I know you didn't have to but you did, and I'm grateful"

Happy just grunted in response, taking another sip of his beer. I got up and started walking past him when he wrapped his arm around my waist, standing up and pulling me against his chest.

"No worries" was all he said, he just kept looking at me, in such a way that it stirred up feelings within me, feelings I didn't want to have.

I pushed him away when I heard the sound of a bike, "That'll be Kozik" I said, "But then again I thought you were Kozik"

"Don't do that again" he warned me, "It ain't safe, stay in the house until you know who it is. Don't want you dying on me now, do I bitch"

What Happy had said shocked me into silence, I could do nothing but nod my head, but scowl at him while I did so.

"For future reference, I don't like being told what to do" I told him, trying to stand my ground

Before he could reply Kozik walked through ther door, he eyes the both of us with a little bit of suspicion.

"Happy was staying with me until you got back" I said, lying to him once again. Lying to Kozik had become to easy, I was always a good liar but I hated lying to him.

Happy nodded to Kozik, shooting me one last look before walking past Kozik and out of the house. As soon as he was gone I turned away from Kozik and started cleaning in order to calm myself.

"What's wrong?" He asked, moving closer to me

"You didn't come to my ultrasound that's what's wrong" I yelled at him, "You were to busy with the club"

"I'm sorry, I promise I'll come to the next one" he said sincerely, but his sincerness didn't make a difference. My feelings for Happy had confused me, and my pregnancy hormones weren't helping either. I was a volcano that was about to blow, and Kozik would not escape my wrath.

"You don't get it" I yelled, "I've given up so much for you, for our child. I'm eighteen Koz, barely even an adult. I could be going out partying, living like most people my age do. But instead I'm your Old Lady"

I was letting all my insecurities and worries come to the surface, I knew that everything I was saying would do some damage but at that moment I didn't care.

"Would you prefer that?" He asked, "Rather that I never met you. So you could live out your life like some stupid teenager"

"I am a stupid teenager, or at least I was when I met you" I yelled, "Maybe I do wish I had never met you, my life would be a Hell of a lot easier"

"Maybe I should leave then" he said, moving towards the door. I knew whatever I said next could break us, but at that time I wasn't thinking rationally.

"Maybe you should"

As soon as I said it I regretted it, Kozik backed away, shaking his head. I tried to stop him but he just left. He left and I didn't know if he was coming back.

I waited for him to come home, hoping and praying that he would. I laid in bed, my eyes on the door, unable to sleep I just let myself be filled with regrets. I loved Kozil, there was no doubt about that, but I realized that I didn't love him half as much as I thought I did.

I got out of bed when I heard the door open, walking out of my room, I wasn't quite sure who I expected to see. But I wasn't all that surprised to see Happy standing there.

"Koz is staying at the clubhouse, asked me to come watch you" he explained

"How badly have I fucked up?" I asked, Happy only had to give me a look to tell me that I had fucked up really badly.

I turned around and walked back to the bedroom, laying down on the bed and letting the tears flow. I felt the bed sink, turning over to see Happy next to me, watching me intently.

"Don't leave me" I said, "Promise me you won't, I can't be alone right now"

Happy nodded, laying down beside me, "I promise"

I let myself sink into Happy, seeking comfort in his hold. It was almost like Koz was pushing me to Happy. And I wondered why Happy had agreed to come. Why would he come and look after me when he had booze and women at the clubhouse? I decided to stop dwelling on it and soon fell asleep.

Happy's POV

Valerie soon fell asleep, he had his arms around her in an embrace he had never given a woman before. He knew that this girl had him wrapped around her finger. And he knew that she could get him killed. He also knew that he felt something for this girl that he'd felt for no one else, and it scared him.

Please review, your feedback and ideas really help me to update quicker. I really want to know who you want Valerie to end up with. I've set up a poll that you can find on my profile, or you can just tell me in your review, or you can do both. Hope you enjoyed this chapter.