This is before the final Itachi vs. Sasuke battle, just so you know. Well, some of it, anyway.
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Things Sasuke would never say:
1) I love you, Itachi.
2) Naruto's so much better than me.
3) I love Sakura.
4) Itachi's so cool.
5) Itachi's got the coolest hair.
6) I think I love Naruto.
7) Ugh, I hate Chidori! Teach me something else, Kakashi!
8) I'm so glad I don't have Mom to nag on me anymore...
9) Itachi's too far ahead. I should just give up.
10) Naruto's too cute for me! My eyes are bleeding! Oh, wait...
11) My black rubber Chunin exam outfit is so...rubbery!
12) Oh, my God! I just CANNOT believe it's not butter!
13) I wonder if Naruto likes giant purple ropes...?
14) I should ask for dating advice from Kabuto...
15) God, my voice was so gay when I was little.
16) Why doesn't big brother like me?
17) Kakashi...your hair...is so...fuzzy...and...pointy...x3
18) Naruto, I gotta know. Are those whiskers or scratches? If they're scratches, were you being naughty? x3
19) Red clouds are sooooo the rage...
20) I get my fashion sense from my brother.