When we got back to the camp the other boys were already there. Felix's team was glowing with pride, it didn't happen that often that the won from Pan. They wanted me to tell stories about the world without magic, but Pan told them to leave me alone.
"She has traveled far, and it was an eventful day." He glanced at me with a cheecky grin. "Let her go to bed shall we." And with that I was excused to go. But I didn't want to go alone, not after eight years. I wanted Felix next to me, his arms around me.
"Ehm Felix? I'm really tired and I'm afraid I might not be able to find the cabin. Can you show me again?" I asked cautiously. He rose, he had gotten the hint, but wasn't gonna show it. "Has it been that long that you're afraid you'll get lost?" He said mocking me. "I'm afraid it has. You know girls and sense of direction." I decided to play along. He chuckled, and the other boys laughed. "Hopeless." And he shook his head, tapped me on the arm and started walking. When we were alone in the woods I grabbed his hand. He stopped for a second in shock, but then continued walking.
I knew the forest like the back of my hand, and would have been able to find the cabin with my eyes closed. But it gave me alone time with Felix, and that was worth a little mockery. When we arrived we both walked in.
"Now I wish I had unpacked my things before it got dark." I said, earning a chuckle from behind me. I reached for my bag, but Felix had other plans. He spinned me around and pulled me in. Holding me close, his club leaning against the wall. I expected him to kiss me, and I was already leaning in. "Why me?" He asked, suprising me. "What?" "Why did you choose me, you could have had Pan. you could have gotten a boyfriend the past few years. Why did you want me?" He asked. I sighed. "You make me feel safe." "Pan keeps us safe." He immediatly shot back. "I know, but you make me feel safe. And that is something else." I took a moment to gather my thoughts. "The night Ruffio died, you protected me from all that horror. You let me be vulnerable with you, without judging me. You are a tough boy, a strong boy, but with me you dare to be soft. You make me feel special Felix. You know the thing I missed most those past eight years, was not being able to sleep in your arms. You are probably one of the most dangerous boys on the island, but I never feel more secure than when I'm with you. That's why."
He still had me in a tight embrace, and when I was done talking his lips found mine. Moving slow and gentle against each other. He let me go with one arm, but I didn't notice. He used his free arm to grab his club and use it to lift my bag of my bed. Once he placed his club back to the wal he started to lower me down on the soft sheets. He hovered over me and looked me in the eye. "Do you want this? I get it if you don't. I can wait." I stared back into his eyes, and then shook my head. "No, not yet." He gave me one more peck on the lips and started to move away. I grabbed his hood and pulled him back. "Don't go. Just like old times." I whispered. And he lay down next to me, one arm protectively around me. "I'm not going anywhere." He whispered and I fell asleep.
When I woke up, Felix was gone. He had gone back to camp before anyone else was awake. Instead I was greeted by Pan standing at the foot of my bed. "Goodmorning." He said sternly. "Goodmorning." I groaned back. "To what do I owe this pleasure?" I asked, to sleepy to care what he might do if I pissed him off.
"I know about you and Felix, I know he spent the night here. I want to know what happened." He was not happy, oh goody.
"If you must know, nothing happened while he was here. We kissed, that's all. Remeber how he let me sleep next to him before I grew? I know you knew. Well he let me do that again, he just slept next to me."
"Why did you kiss him thrice now, after I kissed you in the cave?" I was standing next to my bed now and he had moved to face me, mere inches between us. "Because you suprised me. I'm sorry." Our noses were touching now, he had his hands on my hips. "I'm not hearing that you don't want me, I know you want Felix, for some reason, but you haven't told me to get out yet."
"Peter" I breathed. But before I could say anymore he crashed hip lis forcefully on mine, moving one hand from my hips to the bak of my head, trapping me against him. Forcing my mouth to open so he could get his tong inside. He was strong, I couldn't get out, but honestly? I didn't try my hardest. He was a good kisser, and I was returning the kiss after a while. But when he released me a pang of guilt shot through me. I shouldn't be making out with my boyfriend's? best friend.
"You kissed back love, you liked it." Peter gloated. But I sat down with my head in my hands. "What's wrong now?" Pan asked irritaded. "I know I kissed back, and I shouldn't have. Don't make me chose between you and Felix, please. I have spent the last three years growing older, falling in love with him. I never even considered the thought of you and me. I'm sorry Peter, but I chose Felix." Peter's face became stern and serious again and he started to move toward the door. "Fine, but I'm not giving up just yet. Peter Pan never fails." And he was gone.
I headed back to the camp, Felix was sitting on a log carving something. He hadn't noticed me yet. Pan stood on the other side of the campfire pit, wachting my every move. I chose to ignore Pan's prying eyes and sat down next to Felix. "Hey" I whispered. He looked up and gave me a small smile before returning to his carving. "If you want breakfast, you know where you can get it." He said, not bothering to look up. "I know, but I was wondering if you might know how we're stocked in skins and fabric. My old clothes don't fit anymore." Felix smirked. "What's wrong with this outfit?" It was a thin shirt, and it was very clingy, showing every curve. My pants were already torn and dirty. "It's too thin, not warm enough." Now I leaned in so no-one else could hear. "But if you like this, I have a pleasant suprise for you in my bag." I moved away again and stood up. "I guess I'll ask Devin then." And walked away, noticing how Felix had stopped moving in shock.