TENTASPY.

GASPGASPGASP.

Honestly the first thing I think of when I hear Tentaspy is Ursula from Little Mermaid. Whether or not that's where the idea came from, Tentaspy isn't at all like her. D=

I'd much like to see a sultry evil man who devours peoples souls and flesh instead of the stupid Japanese tentacle rape fetish but whatev.

I think I saw another guy somewhere on DA write a version of Tentaspy that ate people. It was freaking awesome. I loveded it muchly. If you search for Tentaspy there you might find it. There isn't that much porn there anyway so you don't have to worry about that too much.

Just avoid looking for Tentaspy on TF2chan. FFFF oh god.

anyway

READ ON!

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BLU's Scout wasn't afraid when the group gathered around the campfire to tell ghost stories. He didn't even flinch during BLU's Engineer's story about four lonely survivors against a zombie apocalypse. Some of the others were shivering lightly through the entire thing, but Scout wasn't afraid! It was just a story, after all!

"Very good story, Laborer," BLU's Spy said nonchalantly. He gave the Texan a golfer's clap and then lit up. The people next to him slid away a bit as he took a drag and released smoke into the air.

"Ya got a better one, Spah?" Engineer asked with feigned indifference.

"Of course," Spy replied, placing the cigarette back in his mouth. "I 'eard this through the grapevine just a few days ago from a fellow Spy. It all started like any other day in the Well. The Spy's team was 'aving a wonderful time protecting their intelligence when their Scout noticed something in the water."

"Their Scout?" Scout piped up.

Spy frowned. "Not now, Scout, don't interrupt a storyteller during 'is story."

"But why their Scout? We never talk about us in these stories!"

"I never said it was you, I said it was their Scout. Now then…" Spy blew another plume and continued, "their Scout noticed something in the water. It was the enemy RED Spy. 'e was treading water in a corner of the BLU's moat, and 'e was staring forward as if 'e was in some sort of trance. Their Scout knew that those who stayed still for too long ended up dead, and their Scout wanted to make sure that it was 'e who did the 'onors."

Scout frowned. This was the stupidest scary story ever. He crossed his arms and frowned at Spy for being an idiot. The other members of the team seemed interested, however. "So what 'appen'd to thah Scout?" BLU's Demoman asked.

Spy blew a plume into the air. "'e dove into the moat and swam to shoot the Spy straight through the head." Spy even pointed to his own forehead to emphasize the point. Everyone winced lightly, and Scout snorted as Spy continued. "And that was when…"

Silence.

Everyone had leaned closely to listen to Spy, but he held his peace and instead took a drag from his cigarette.

"When what!?" BLU's Heavy shouted.

"Vat happened to zee Zcout and Zpy?" BLU's Medic ordered that an answer come from Spy. The European continued to drag the tension out as much as he could.

He released a plume of smoke from his nostrils and smirked sinisterly, letting the camp's fire accentuate the shadows on his face. "And that was when their Scout felt something wrap around 'is ankle."

There was silence, this time from the group. Scout blinked repeatedly and flailed in anger. "The hell!? Something wrapped around his ankle? The hell is that!?"

"It was slimy, like seaweed," Spy continued, ignoring Scout, "but the young man knew that the moat was mostly sewage. There would be no seaweed in the water." The group nodded. They knew this. So where was Spy going with all of this?

"So their Scout reached down to grasp at the thing, and found, unsurprisingly, that it wasn't a bit of weed that got caught on his ankle. Oh no…"

Spy stopped again, and BLU's Soldier growled. "Get on with it, Maggot! What was it?"

"Mein Gott…" Medic said lightly, mouth agape in horror, "It couldn't be…"

"Doc?" Scout asked, looking at the shivering German. Scout didn't want to admit he was feeling uneasy, but these jerks were really getting on his nerves. He flailed angrily and demanded the story be continued so he could scoff at it and continue on with life. "What? What what what!?"

"It was a tentacle, Scout…" Spy said in response, staring seriously and deeply into his teammate's wide eyes, "A long, slimy, red tentacle."

Medic shuddered at the thought, and a few others gagged. Scout didn't get it.

"A tentacle? The hell? There was like a freaking octopus in the sewer? Where the hell did it come from?"

"Their Scout was wondering the same thing," Spy replied, "where ever could a tentacle 'ave come from? But as 'e thought about it, suddenly they were everywhere. Eight slimy, ugly tentacles wrapped themselves around their Scout's wrists, ankles, arms and legs. It was only then when the child understood what was going on. A Tentaspy had caught him…"

"The hell's a Tentaspy?"

"No one knows," BLU's Sniper answered, shrugging lightly, "and no one really cares. The only thing ya do is avoid 'em like the bloody Bubonic."

Scout wouldn't be tricked by the elder men who were shuddering and crossing themselves. It certainly seemed like they thought it was real, but Scout knew better! He crossed his arms and glared at the others. "Tentaspies don't exist; you guys're just makin' shit up."

"Did the Scout even make it away…?" Demoman asked, feeling sick just asking.

"The Spy that their Scout 'ad attacked was simply smiling as the young man fought against 'is tentacles. The child screamed and flailed and eventually was forced under the water."

Scout's stomach churned at the thought. He really didn't mind water so much, but there was this one time he got into a fight underwater, and he almost didn't make it up to breathe… Pyro ended up saving him from a watery grave that time… but the thought… underwater, with slippery, evil tentacles and the horrific sight of a spy grinning… as he was pinned down…

Spy shrugged. "The Spy I 'eard this from said 'e 'eard their Scout screaming and went to check it out. He only really found the Tentaspy and Scout's drowned body." Scout shuddered and grabbed his arms for reinforcement as Spy blew a plume and continued. "And even then, the creature was able to get away by slipping into the water and abandoning the corpse…"

"T…that poor Scout…" Scout murmured. He seemingly forgot his desire to disprove the existence of the Tentaspy and instead looked up at each and every one of the group, "But that's all they do? Lay a trap and drown their victim?"

"Don't know what they do," Engineer said, "I heard from a reliable source that the mean motherhubbards just devour their prey after catchin' 'em."

Demoman shook his head. "I heard it likes defilin' its victims," he said. Medic gave a sneer of disgust as the Scotsman explained: "horrible, nasty things, lemme tell you. First, after it has you undah its control, it…"

"Mmphin Mmphphammph."

"Deviate monstrosities, the lot o' them," Engineer agreed, crossing his arms.

Sniper prodded the child sitting next to him. "So remember, Scout. Avoid 'em."

Scout was trying to keep from retching, so he opted instead to shiver a bit and nod. "You don't have to tell me twice. Gross as freakin' hell."

Spy smiled lightly at the child. "But you needn't worry," the European said, staring deep into Scout's eyes with a horrific smile, "because after all, they don't exist, isn't that what you said, Scout?"

That night, the Bostonian went to sleep having nightmares of being defiled by hundreds of huge, slimy tentacles.

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So no Tentaspy doesn't actually APPEAR but whatev. USE YOUR IMAGINATION. What do YOU think Tentaspy did that day!? DUNDUNDUN.

On second thought, don't. At least, don't say HERE in your review that you will undoubtedly send me (god willing). Eww.