Things Sai would never say:
1) Sakura, you're beautiful.
2) Puppies...are...so...cute........
3) My sweat feels funny.
4) Naruto, what a big dick you have!
5) I likez to drawz.
6) My bro was a douche.
7) All that matters is the mission. All that matters is the mission. All that matters--ooooh, a butterfly!
8) Look at the ROOTS on that tree!!
9) I'm a fashion diva.
10) And I'll name this little mousey Veronica, and this one Stefan...
11) Oh noez, I got ink in my hair! Forget the mission, someone get me some shampoo...
12) Orochimaru, Danzo told me that if I have to, I'll be willing to do some...sexual favors to get you to join us.
13) I only went to Orochimaru for Kabuto...
14) Yamato senpai, you got one hell of a woodie...ah ha...ha...
15) I believe I can fly~~~
16) Hmm, so this books says I should smack Sakura's ass to make her like me...
17) Smiles are the first step towards gaining someone's trust! :D (Actually, he did say that...)
18) My elixir IS made of piss and ink!! (Sweeney Todd moment there, sorry...)
19) Oh, so Naruto and Sasuke have that kind of relationship? *Naruto blushes**Naruto: No!!!*
20) SaiNaru bitch! Sasuke, you jealous yet?
21) Umm...Naruto, dear, can you get outta bed and close the curtains? I think Sakura is watching us...
22) I have an obsession...with penises.
23) If I have to be a Baka...can I at least be Baka-kun??