The parantheses is me talking, by the way.
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Things Orochimaru would never say:
1) Akatsuki, please take me back! ='[
2) Kabuto, you look so sexy!
3) Heehee...pretty snake...lovely snake...sexy snake...;)
4) Kimimaro needs to eat more. I can see his ribs. (xD)
5) Sasuke's hair looks like a little birdy. Squee, little birdy xD *Sasuke: Ugh! Itachi said that same thing! x(*
6) Kabuto, does this rope make me look fat?
7) You gonna eat that? *swallows steak whole*
8) Oh, little snakey, you want to live inside me too? Well, I think I have some place beside my Kusanagi blade, past the king cobras and vipers, somewhere in my gull bladder...
9) Kabuto, where's my eye make-up!
10) I enjoy the little things in life. Like my sexual organs. (Omg, lol!)
11) Jiraiya's so sexy.
12) Mmmm...organs.... *Itachi: that's my line!**Itachi cuts off Orochimaru's arm*
13) I wonder if I could create a half-weasel, half-man. Oh, that's already invented. Itachi.
14) I wonder if I could make a half-fox, half-boy. Oops, Naruto.
15) Half-panzee, half-boy? Sasuke.
16) Mirror, mirror, on the wall; who's the fairest of them all? *Mirror: everyone.**Smashes mirror*
17) If Kimimaro can make his bones extra hard, I wonder how hard he can make his boner? (OMG. LMAO)
18) Let's play Snakes and Ladders!
19) Kabuto! We gotta see Anaconda is the cinema!
20) Michael Jackson's got nothin' on me.