Ummm, this one is pretty innappropriate, because it's Jiraiya. I'd say if your really young this could be a bit much in some places. Viewer discretion is advised. Lol, I always wanted to say that.
Things Jiraiya would never say:
1) Haha, Kakashi's hair makes him look like an old man. I'm glad I don't look like that! =]
2) Oh, no, I'm totally young. I'll be twenty-six next month...
3) Cutey froggy! xD
4) Wow...that wart on my nose is so...big...*poke*
5) Damn it, Pain is just too hard. *Takes out Death Note*
6) Wow, so many rings in his eyes. Heh...this reminds me of college when I had some bad mushrooms...whoa, that takes me back...
7) I don't feel like research today...
8) Ew, I don't feel like reading pron today.
9) Tsunade's boobs are small -_-
10) Naruto's a genuis.
11) Minato was such a failure.
12) "Destined Child"? Why can't it be a "Destined Woman"? (Actually, he probably would say that xD)
13) WHOA! I never noticed it before! The HELL are those red lines of my face? Did I get run over by a Hotwheels toy? GOSH!
14) I know your true identity now, Pain! You're that porn star all across the internet who has the peircing on his ****!
15) A destined child who would save the world from ruin or burn it to ashes? Oh, ok, no pressure...
16) I have a confession to make...I'm gay.
17) Boobies are yucky.
18) Um...this is sorta embarrassing...but how are babies made?
19) I just found out I'm a father. *Naruto and peoples gasp* What, you think I could play it safe ALL the time?