Date written: Thu 8 Oct 2009
Author: Starway Man
E-mail: theop at hotkey dot net dot au
Disclaimer: The Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel characters are the property of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, Sandollar, Kuzui, Fox, WB and UPN; I don't own 'em, and I never will. I also do not own any other characters from any television shows, movies, comics, videogames or literature that I might use. This work is meant merely for enjoyment, and no profit is being made off of it. Some of the text is from various TV episodes or movies or comics or videogames or literature, and so does not belong to me of course.
Rating: Overall R, with mostly PG-13 parts.
Symbols: " " denotes speech, ( italics ) specifies thoughts, and # # indicates phone voice.
Main characters: Xander, ensemble
Warnings: There is some violence, bad language, character death and mention of sexual situations in these stories.
Author Notes: A couple of years ago Night Hunter MGS (a.k.a. Matt) wrote an awesome series of stories called "31 Days of Xanderween" (http://www .fanfiction .net/s/3813208/1/31_Days_of_Xanderween), where he published one Halloween fic for each day of October. I was inspired enough to want to do my own version of the concept, and he has graciously allowed me to use his idea for this series of fanfic stories.
Author Notes 2: I was initially tempted not to do this plot bunny, as there have been quite a few BtVS/Star Wars crossover stories over the years. In fact, there have been so many that I've lost count! But I don't think anyone has ever done this costume character before, so I thought the heck with it – just write it. And once again, my most sincere thanks to all my reviewers and the people who keep sending me feedback and encouragement!
Acknowledgments: My thanks of course to Matt for allowing me to dabble with his original idea this way. Also, my deepest gratitude to all my beta readers – Francis Eugene, Greywizard, American Soldier and Nodakskip – for all their help in getting these stories finished on time!
Classification: Alternate Universe, Angst, Crossover, Romance, YAHF
Summary: Thirty-one versions of Halloween, Xander-style. Fic-a-day series.
Title:31 Days of Xanderween Part Deux
***
Story 8: May The Force Be With You
Headquarters of the Order of Dagon, Czech Republic, Europe
August 23rd, 2000
The hellgod named Glorificus had arrived at the monastery; and the monks, protectors and guardians of the ancient living energy known as the Key, knew that the end was very seriously nigh.
The holy men also knew that they had to keep the Key out of the hands of the Beast, as they called the hellgod, to prevent the end of the world. So the abbot decided to make the Key into a human named Dawn Summers, the sister of Buffy the vampire Slayer. That was something that had always been meant to be.
Unfortunately, due to the rush factor, just a single mispronounced word almost screwed up the monk's plans completely. Instead of integrating the Key into the Slayer's life here and now, the magic ritual that the abbot and his brethren performed sent the living energy into the past, just before Glory came barging into the room.
Dawn Summers still came into existence, but as an 11-year-old girl – just before the infamous Halloween of three years previously.
***
1630 Revello Drive, Sunnydale, California
October 31st, 1997
Buffy Summers, dressed in her noblewoman outfit, came to answer the door. Her friend Xander subsequently entered, saluting her with the toy rifle in his hand. "Private Harris reporting for..." Then he actually looked at the girl he'd had a crush on ever since day one. "Buffy! Lady of Buffdom, Duchess of Buffonia, I am in awe! I completely renounce spandex!"
"Thank you, kind sir," Buffy curtsied politely, ignoring the reference to Xander's clothing preferences for women. "But wait 'til you see..."
Noticing Xander's distraction, the blonde Slayer looked towards the stairs, only to see their friend Willow coming down the stairs. But she was dressed in the ghost outfit she'd bought at Ethan's Costume Shop, instead of the rock 'n roll groupie outfit Buffy had practically bullied her into wearing.
"...Casper," Miss Summers finished up in obvious disappointment.
"Hey, Will! That's a-a-a fine boo you got there," Xander commented, seeing the 'BOO!' caption on the white sheet.
"Thanks, Xander," Miss Rosenberg audibly sighed in relief, frustrating the hell out of Buffy. "Um, we should get going then?"
"MOMMMM!!" a whiny prepubescent female voice screamed not far away. "My costume's ruined!! I can't go out looking like this!!"
"Damn it, Dawn," Buffy muttered, as she and her friends went to investigate the apparent crisis. "Little brat, what's she up to NOW?"
"Dawn, what's wrong?" Joyce Summers asked her youngest daughter, unaware of what the problem was.
"Look at my mask!" the Key hollered as loud as she could. As Buffy, Willow and Xander arrived, Dawn held up a plastic imitation replica of Yoda from the Star Wars films, complete with the floppy ears. "It's got a hole in it! I can't go out wearing this! Kirsty and the others will never stop laughing at me!" The little girl stamped her foot in annoyance. "And don't tell me that it won't happen! I may not be a teenager yet, but I'm not dumb y'know!!"
Joyce sighed, a familiar headache making its way inside her skull. "Sweetie, it's Halloween and all the stores are closed now. I'm sorry, but there's nothing we can do..."
"Actually, maybe there is," Buffy said, as an idea was born in her mind. "Dawn, what if you went dressed as Princess Leia instead?"
"What?" Willow asked in astonishment. "Buffy, how are you gonna pull that off?"
The Slayer merely smiled in a way that instantly made Willow nervous.
***
Sunnydale High School, Sunnydale, California
A short while later
"I am NEVER going to forgive you for this," Willow glared at her best friend, as she and Buffy entered the main corridor of the school building. The white ghost sheet was gone, and the girl genius was dressed only in the outfit Buffy had wanted her to wear. "Look, everybody's staring at me!!"
Buffy was seriously beginning to have regrets about scavenging the ghost outfit for Dawn's white Princess Leia dress, as Willow was genuinely upset and mad at her right now. ( Well, I guess I'll know better next time. )
"But that's in a good way, right?" the blonde Slayer tried unsuccessfully to cheer her friend up.
"Wrong!" Willow insisted, as they walked along. "I betcha they're all thinking to themselves, 'Why has Willow Rosenberg dressed up as a complete slut?'"
"Well, I don't think that. And I'm sure Xander doesn't think that either," Buffy tried to defend herself, walking along as quickly as the noblewoman outfit would allow.
"Yeah, but he's Xander. And hey, I can't believe that he lent Dawnie his toy rifle to complete the Princess Leia outfit, and decided to go with the Yoda costume himself despite the hole in it. What is he, twelve?" Willow muttered, calming down a bit. "It's a good thing that your mom had that brown robe with the hood that he was able to borrow, or he would have looked ridiculous wearing that mask with his army fatigues!"
"Boys. They were so much smarter before puberty set in," Buffy remarked philosophically.
"I'll say. And can you believe how Xander actually started playing around with Dawn's toy lightsabre like that!? You're right, boys and their toys," Willow grumbled.
"Well, what have we got here," the nasal and unfriendly voice of Principal Snyder came out from behind them, as Willow and Buffy whirled around and came to a stop. "Miss Rosenberg, that's a – unusual outfit for you, I have to say."
"Oh, uh, I let Buffy dress me for tonight. Well, not physically," the redhead stammered, scared as always of the adult male's authority.
"I should have known that you'd eventually get dragged down into the muck with her and that waste of space, Harris. Where is he anyway?" Snyder looked around, hoping that he would be able to discipline Xander for something or another.
"Oh, he's right – there," Buffy gestured, as Xander came in through the front doors dressed as the oldest and wisest Jedi Master ever born.
Snyder just curled his lip at the sight of the boy's costume, though. "Fascinating. He decided to dress up as a green muppet, hmm – why doesn't that surprise me?"
( 'Cause you've got a bug up your butt the size of a football? ) Buffy thought to herself. "Uh, we should get going, shouldn't we Principal Snyder? Don't want to be late for escort duty 'n all."
The high school principal impatiently waved her and Willow off, before marching toward Xander to give the boy his daily helping of venomous bile.
***
Somewhere on the streets of Sunnydale, California
Approximately ninety minutes later
As the wave of chaos magic washed over the entire town, Master Yoda raised his head in alarm; his Force senses were screaming that practically everything around him was wrong.
For starters, he was no longer one with the Force, but trapped within a physical body once more. And it wasn't his own body either; from the height factor alone the aged master Jedi knew that this was a part-humanoid body, and a fairly young one at that.
( Unexpected this is, and wrong. Where am I? ) Yoda also sensed that his connection to the Force was very weak, as this body had only the barest minimum of midichlorians within it. ( Odd is this, ) the Jedi thought to himself, as he suddenly felt a boost to the midichlorian levels in his cells which returned them back to what they had been in his old body.
But then, once that was done, Yoda felt alarmed once more; as this entire place STANK of the dark side of the Force. Not even the tree cave back on Dagobah exuded this much darkness and evil. ( Very malevolent this place is, on my guard I must be... )
"Help! Help!" Master Yoda heard a female voice screaming, even as he started feeling a great disturbance from not far away. Trusting in the will of the Force, the Jedi Master made his way to where a young woman was being choked to death by some sort of child-sized demon on the porch of a house.
Yoda gestured, and the little green demon was blasted aside up into the air, sailing off towards the nearby trees. Yoda looked around, before making his way over the female massaging her throat. "Hurt badly, are you?"
"What? No, I...Xander, will you please not talk like that? This isn't the time, something weird just happened! Two of my little kids suddenly turned into demons," Willow said, getting up and looking around anxiously. "We gotta find Buffy, come on!"
Since for once in his life Master Yoda had no idea what was going on, he decided to follow the redhead as she went in search of this 'Buffy'.
***
1630 Revello Drive, Sunnydale, California
A short while later
"Oh my God," Willow stumbled back and hit the couch, as she saw Yoda's green lightsabre flare into life. She wasn't a ghost, after all, since the Halloween costume she wore contained nothing from Ethan Rayne's costume store. "Xander, you – you really are Master Yoda?!"
"This Xander you speak of, I know him not," Yoda replied calmly, extinguishing the lightsabre. He noticed that the person Willow called 'Buffy' had fainted again, just like after she'd screamed and called him a 'demon' when they'd first met. "And how is it you know my name, young one?"
"Well, I..." Willow shrugged helplessly. "I honestly don't think you'd believe me, even if I told you!"
"Perhaps, perhaps not," Yoda mused. "But great fear within you, I can sense. Beware, for fear is the path that leads to the dark side of the Force," the alien Jedi advised the female teen.
Willow rolled her eyes in annoyance. "Okay, see, this whole Force thing? Uh, hate to tell you this, but it doesn't actually exist, it's just something that George Lucas came up with twenty years ago in order to make a quick buck-"
"Your lack of faith, I must help you with," Yoda decided as he gestured, and Willow rose up into the air and began rolling head over heels. Ignoring her inarticulate wailing, the Jedi Master said, "The Force is my ally, little one, and a powerful ally it is. Life creates it, and makes it grow. Its energy surrounds us and binds us: luminous beings we are, not this crude matter." Yoda extended his arm, pinching the skin to demonstrate his point.
"Okay! Okay! I believe in the Force!" Willow shrieked, desperately trying to stop rotating around up in the air. "Now please, put me down!!"
Yoda gestured, and Willow gently came down to the floor again. She quickly backed away from the green alien in fright, causing the old Master to sigh over how the human girl had failed to learn her lesson. "Conquer your fear, you must," he advised her before Yoda's attention was diverted to a loud scream from outside.
The Jedi made his way out of the house, only to see another female human running from a Sasquatch-type creature. Once he understood the situation, he quickly decided what to do. With a Force leap, Yoda demonstrated superhuman acrobatic agility as he jumped directly into the brunette female's path and then, ignoring her scream, the extraterrestrial jumped back to the front of 1630 Revello Drive whilst holding her in his arms.
"Follow me, you should," Yoda tossed over his shoulder to Cordelia Chase, as he made his way to the front door of the house. "Dangerous for you here, it is."
"Who...what are you?" Cordelia demanded, even as she followed her rescuer inside the house. She knew who lived here, after all.
"Cordelia! Cordelia? Are you still – well, you?" Willow asked her classmate at once.
"No, I'm actually Martha Stewart in disguise! What do you think?" Cordelia said scathingly. "Willow, what the hell is going on? It's complete chaos out there! And who the hell is that underneath the mask who just saved my ass from Jo-Jo the Dog Face Boy?" the cheerleader demanded, turning to face Yoda.
"Anger, fear, and aggression do you show. The dark side of the Force are they," Yoda intoned solemnly, fixing the young woman with a stare that almost made Cordelia break out in goosebumps. "Careful you should be. Once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny."
"Well, thank you Master Yoda," Cordelia snapped sarcastically. "Now, could you quit with the sermonizing and just take off that stupid mask?"
"Um, Cordelia? That's not a mask. Uh, it's Xander-"
"WHAT?" Cordelia instantly looked like she couldn't believe her ears.
"Yeah, I know, but he really did turn into Master Yoda tonight, just like Buffy turned into a noblewoman and a lot of people out there turned into some kinda monster," Willow said apologetically as Cordelia continued to stare at her in disbelief. "And, and Yoda here really can use the Force; he proved it to me just now."
"That's nice, Willow. And you went completely mental like this, when exactly?" Cordelia sniped scornfully.
Willow exhaled. "I guess seeing really is believing and all that. Master Yoda, can you prove it to her like you did with me?"
Yoda gestured to Cordelia, projecting his thoughts into hers. "Speak your mind honestly, you should."
"I hate it here in Sunnydale, ever since I found out that demons and vampires really do exist," Cordelia spoke like she was hypnotized or something. "I blame Buffy Summers for most of the crap that's happened to me over the last year or so, on account of before she rode her fanny into town? I had a happy, normal, wonderful life. But I'm kinda jealous of her in some ways, what with her constantly saving the world and other people's lives – as well as having real friends that she can rely on like Willow and Xander. I used to despise them both, even though I don't anymore. In fact I actually find that dork Harris kinda good-looking these days, after he saved my life in that fire-"
"Okay, STOP!" Willow shouted in horror, as Yoda's spell was broken. The thought that the girl who'd made her life hell was now interested in the boy she loved was enough to make Willow want to puke. "Too much information..."
The redhead glanced over to where Buffy was still laying on the floor out cold. Glad that her best friend had not been awake to hear all that, Willow moved the noblewoman over to the couch. ( Still, I doubt it would have meant much to her right now, because hello – possession and all? )
In the meanwhile, Cordelia had come out of it and was glaring at Yoda in sheer rage. "Why, you-!"
"Like a mirror, the truth is," Yoda told her, totally unaffected by the human girl's temper tantrum. "Use it to see clearly, you should. Hide your true self too much – and most likely lose yourself, you will."
"Whatever," Cordelia said, feeling oddly naked as the Jedi Master continued to stare at her – it was as if he was easily able to see past the carefully constructed 'Queen C' mask she presented to the world. "Just don't do that again, or I'll make you regret it!"
"Look, we gotta focus – and, and do something about what's happening outside," Willow interjected. "I mean, people are dying because of all the monsters running around loose on the streets! Uh, Master Yoda, do you have any idea what's actually going on out there?"
The alien closed his eyes and appeared to concentrate. "A great disturbance in the Force do I feel," Yoda said slowly. "Great chaos I can sense, neither good nor evil, not far away. Travel there I must, to learn more."
The Jedi Master made his way to the door before advising the two girls, "Stay here, you should, and trust in the Force." With that he left the house, Willow quickly locking the front door behind him.
"I sure hope he keeps Xander's body safe out there tonight," the redhead murmured, equal amounts of fear and love evident in her tone.
***
Somewhere on Hadley Street, Sunnydale, California
A few minutes later
The white-clad princess was getting more and more pissed off, as she held her blaster pistol tight and made her way through the madhouse that Sunnydale had become this evening.
The young woman wasn't happy with not knowing where she was, as well as with being stuck within the body of a child like this. Like Yoda before her, she'd found the stars in the sky to be completely unfamiliar and, thus, she had no idea whereabouts this backwater planet was located within the galaxy.
"Well, now, who 'ave we got here? I do believe it's the Slayer's little sis from Parent-Teacher Night!" a male voice with a Cockney accent said from behind Leia, as the princess whirled around. The vampire named Spike then put on his game face and growled, "Glad I found you, li'l bit – I'm hungry, and you're lookin' right delicious at the moment!"
Unfortunately for William the Bloody, the Alderaan princess took aim with her blaster and drilled a hole straight through the soulless vampire's heart, instantly making Spike explode into ashes. His minions – a mini-army of possessed human kids – instantly turned tail and ran, as Princess Leia suddenly spied something familiar in the distance and ran towards the green-skinned being in the brown robe. "Wait! Wait a minute, who are you?"
Master Yoda turned around, and actually raised an eyebrow in surprise. "Strange, indeed, are the ways of the Force if the daughter of Anakin Skywalker and Padmé Amidala should be here," the alien told her calmly, recognizing her Force signature immediately.
Princess Leia Organa frowned, not liking being reminded of family ties to Darth Vader. "Do I know you? I recognize your species, of course, and the robe is that of a Jedi, but I'm not sure..."
"Yoda am I," the Jedi Master interrupted, causing Leia's eyes to widen. She had heard the name before, and knew who it belonged to. "And met before, we have. Obi-Wan and I, present at the birth of you and your brother Luke, we were. To your parents Bail and Breha Organa we gave you, after you were born at Polis Massa."
"What?" Princess Leia whispered in complete shock. "But, but..."
"Strong is the Force in your family," Yoda continued on, gesturing to the princess to follow him, which she did. "Untrained and unprepared are you, but pass on what he has learned, Luke will. A Jedi Knight one day, you will be."
Her mind whirling, Leia followed her companion pretty much on autopilot as she tried to figure out how she felt about the Jedi Master's words. The last thing she remembered before finding herself here was dragging Luke back to the celebratory party on the moon Endor, the site of the Rebellion's victory over the evil Emperor Palpatine. There had been no time to examine how she felt about being a Skywalker, or that she possessed the same Force potential her twin brother did. Leia had thought that he was the last of the Jedi – and speaking of which, hadn't Luke mentioned that Yoda had died of old age recently...?
"Arrived we have, at last," Yoda said, as Leia looked up to see what was advertised as a costume shop of some sort. "Away put your weapon. No need for it here, I feel there is."
Trusting implicitly in his authority as a Jedi, Leia obeyed orders as she and Yoda entered Ethan's domain. "What are we looking for, exactly?"
"Ah, welcome! The shop's officially closed to the public at the moment, but I'm willing to make an exception for two such famous visitors as yourselves," Ethan said in an oily tone. He knew who Dawn's costume persona was from the intricate double-bun hairdo and, ever since the 1980's, over half the world knew who Yoda was.
"Responsible for tonight's events, I feel you are," Yoda said mildly, refusing to let any anger reach him.
"Yes, as a matter of fact I am. Don't want to blow my own trumpet too much, of course, but quite frankly it's sheer genius on my part. Everyone becoming whoever or whatever they dressed up as for Halloween? It's the very embodiment of 'be careful what you wish for'."
"What are you talking about?" Leia demanded, bringing her blaster out on instinct.
"Such a pretty little girl you are," Ethan smirked at Dawn's body. "I do wonder how you'll feel after the spell wears off? I'd imagine it'll be pretty traumatic for a prepubescent like yourself to have all those adult memories, most likely it'll drive you completely bonkers." He glanced at Yoda, "Just as whoever dressed up as you, will have to cope with nine hundred years worth of your memories afterwards. Sometimes, I astound even myself!"
"Curious I am as to why you have done this," Yoda replied, motioning Leia to stay calm.
"Well, what can I say? One does this sort of thing for love, not money; although the cash certainly helps to pay off the lease on this place," Ethan gestured around the shop.
"A great sickness of the spirit, you have," Yoda pronounced judgment on Ethan. "Not long for this life are you, I suspect. That mark on your arm, links you to a creature of darkness it does. Fear for your safety, you should."
Ethan finally lost the smirk. "What are you talking about? Eyghon? Bloody hell, how did you know about that?"
"Always in motion, the future – difficult to see. Clouded is your fate," Yoda replied rather cryptically. "But now undo what you have done, you must."
"Really. Why should I, what's in it for me?" Ethan asked snootily.
A red-white laser beam streaked by his right ear, destroying part of the shop directly behind him. Ethan jumped as Leia said, "You get to live, for starters."
"Bust of Janus, it's in the back. Destroy it and everything goes back to normal," Ethan said with a shaky smile.
Yoda made his way to the back of the shop, motioning to Leia to follow him. Igniting his lightsabre, the Jedi Master raised his weapon and then brought the blade of light down, cleaving the statue in two.
Instantly, the lightsabre turned back into a cheap toy and Xander Harris reclaimed control of his own body. At his side, Dawn Summers did the same; and the little girl started screaming, unable to cope with Leia's memories just as Ethan had foretold.
"Dawn! Dawn!" Xander shouted, struggling to remember how exactly Yoda would have done it. He tore off the Yoda mask and threw it away, looked the Key right in the eyes and commanded her, "Forget. Forget! You remember nothing of what Princess Leia left behind just now! Listen to my voice, and FORGET!"
Dawn's mind was a complete mess, and Xander's mastery of the Jedi mind trick was far from masterful. But not wanting to offer any resistance, Dawn let her sister's friend disconnect the various neurons within her brain, finally banishing her Halloween persona's memories. Miss Summers could only remember being Leia Organa now in the abstract sense, as if she'd heard about it happening to someone else.
Sighing in relief, Xander started cradling the little girl in his arms as she started to cry her eyes out.
***
1630 Revello Drive, Sunnydale, California
November 1st, 1997
Xander and Dawn were talking in the kitchen, whilst Giles, Buffy and her mother Joyce were hovering nervously outside. The Summers mom was cursing herself for ever allowing Dawn to go out trick o' treating last night, having heard enough rumours about the attacks by 'gangs high on PCP' by now. ( What was I thinking? I could have lost my little punkin' belly forever last night! )
"Oh, my poor little girl. Dawn must be utterly traumatised by what's happened!" Joyce exclaimed in anguish.
"Yeah, but, uh, you know, Xander said nothing too bad happened last night after that weird gas leak," Buffy said hurriedly. "I-I'm sure Dawnie will be fine soon enough."
"Indeed, Mrs. Summers," Giles added. "From what I've seen of her, your daughter is most resilient; she takes after her older sister that way."
"Well, thank you, Mr. Giles," Joyce expressed her gratitude to the Englishman, thinking it was most fortunate how at least one of Buffy's teachers at school actually seemed to care about the students. "And thank you for helping look after Buffy last night, too."
At that moment Xander came out of the kitchen, and Joyce was shocked for a moment at the look in the boy's eyes. Nine hundred years worth of memories had inevitably left their mark on his soul. "Xander? Is something wrong with Dawn?"
"I talked with Dawnie, Mrs. S., and we decided that you need to know the truth about Sunnydale from now on. Buffy, show her what you can do," Xander said abruptly, gesturing to the Slayer.
"What? Xander!!" Buffy exclaimed indignantly.
"Buffy, what's he talking about?" Joyce demanded, glancing between her daughter and her friend.
"Nothing," Giles said, glaring at Xander who seemed totally unaffected by his look of disapproval. "In fact, we were just leav-"
Then he started choking and gasping, as Xander pointed at the man's throat. Harris still had all of Yoda's Jedi powers from last night, as his midichlorians levels – and Dawn's, for that matter – had remained the same after the spell was over.
"Be quiet, Giles. Joyce needs to hear this, and she also deserves to know the truth about Sunnydale," Xander said with the voice of a general, a leader, as he finally released the British man. "Because in this town, ignorance is NOT bliss and it can easily get you killed. Buffy, go ahead; show your mom just how strong you really are."
"What is going on here?" Joyce was beginning to get rather frightened. "Young man, what did you just do to Mr. Giles? And what are you talking about with regard to my daughter?"
Buffy glanced at Giles, but he was still staring at Xander with a combination of fear and betrayal. Miss Summers didn't think she'd ever seen that look on her Watcher's face before, and it made her feel somewhat concerned as well. Still, it was Xander, and so she couldn't be too worried about it.
Anyway, figuring that the cat was well and truly out of the bag now, Buffy sighed. "Mom, I'm a vampire Slayer." She then lifted Giles easily and held the British man's body well above her head, almost causing Joyce to faint.
"I have been ever since we were living in LA..."
***
Sunnydale High School, Sunnydale, California
January 20th, 1998
As Cordelia Chase walked out of the library that night, she silently cursed the way her life had been going lately. Because it had all started nearly three months ago, right after Halloween.
The cheerleader had been humiliated by what Xander had done to her in the Summers house while he'd been possessed by his Halloween costume, and so she had avoided both him and his two loser friends as much as possible afterwards. Cordy had been worried that the news she found the doofus physically attractive would give Harris lots of ammunition against her, but to Miss Chase's surprise, he had never once mentioned anything about it ever since. Willow had, at least sort of; but the buxom brunette was not Queen C around here for nothing, and she had been able to put the mousy nerd back in her place easily enough.
( What am I doing, hanging around these hopeless fashion victims? ) Cordelia asked herself yet again. But the answer was obvious: the Hellmouth was a dangerous place to live in, and until she could graduate and get out of Sunnydale for good, she needed these people. If a forest fire was headed straight for you, the only sane option was to stand behind the fire-fighters who were operating a water cannon against it.
( Still, I've got to cut back on coming to their stupid meetings like this. So what if Angel was acting weird around Buffy last night? She's a freak, and he's a mopey vampire! Define 'weird', is all I can say! )
Just then, the lights went out. "Great!" Cordelia complained to herself. "Stupid school electrical faults, that's all I need..."
"Cordelia," a familiar male voice said from the end of the corridor. The girl looked around and recognized Angel's profile in the shadows. "I need to talk to you. Could you come over here for a minute?"
"What's this about?" Miss Chase said, not moving a muscle. For some reason, the guy was starting to set off her freak-o-meter big time.
"It's very important. I mean, you'll just die when you hear it," the vampire said, taking a few steps towards her.
"What? What are you talking about? Like, have you heard a rumour about me being dumped from the cheerleading squad?" Cordelia had automatically started panicking by now.
"Something even more important than that," Angel replied, a hint of impatience appearing in his voice. "Come on."
Miss Chase took one step forward, but found herself being yanked back by a grim-faced Xander. "Hey! Let go, you dorkhead!" Cordelia instinctively flung out the insult.
"Come out where I can see you, Angelus," Harris said curtly, shoving Cordelia behind him. "I've been waiting for you."
"Have you now," the newly-soulless vampire smirked, his handsome face clearly visible as he came into the light. Deep down he was annoyed though, as well as pissed at Xander for helping Buffy dust Drusilla not long after Dawn had killed Spike. "And why are you calling me that name?"
"That's what I'd like to know," Buffy's voice echoed in the corridor, as she and Willow and Giles showed up. "Angel, are you okay?"
"Sorry, Buffy, but he's not Angel anymore," Xander spoke up before the vampire could answer. "Are you?"
"Wrong. I AM Angel. At last!" Angelus roared, going into his demon face. "And you people are all going to die very slowly and painfully!"
Everyone drew back in shock, apart from Xander. He said simply, "That's what you think. Have you noticed that you're currently outnumbered, here?"
"A problem easily fixed, soon enough," Angelus seemed to focus his attention on Harris entirely.
"I know. Because I had a Force vision about this very conversation," Xander replied softly, the leftovers from being Master Yoda for one night coming in very useful. "This morning, I saw and heard you bragging about already having started the job – that after you lost your soul thanks to having sex with Buffy, you'd begun to recruit an army of the undead. Any chance I happen to be wrong?"
Angelus growled, as everyone apart from Xander stared at Buffy in horror. "Well, what can I say? That there's no point denying the obvious?"
"My sentiments exactly," Xander replied. Gesturing, he lifted Angelus up in the air as he started kicking and cursing. A stake in Xander's hand then quickly flew up and zoomed in close to the vampire's heart.
"Xander, STOP!" Buffy screamed, grabbing him by the shoulder and turning him around. The 17-year-old schoolgirl was terrified that Harris was going to stake her boyfriend, and she was determined to prevent that at any cost. "Don't you dare kill him!!"
"Buffy, wait. Xander, wh-what exactly are you up to?" Giles asked, absently noticing how Cordelia was now hiding behind him.
"Yeah, Xander," Willow chimed in, her eyes wide as Angelus continued to struggle futilely. "Uh, if Angel's lost his soul – what's the plan?"
Xander didn't answer her directly. He turned around and said to the vampire, "I had another Force vision this morning, you should know."
"Yeah? About what?" Angelus stopped struggling for the moment, centering his attention on Harris once more.
"A battle that takes place at some point in the future," Xander said with a very chilly tone of voice. "I heard the name 'Acathla' mentioned as you and Buffy started fighting with swords, and there was this big demon statue in the background. I won't bore you with all the details; I'd say all you need to know is that I saw your eyes glow orange for a second, and then you and Buffy started kissing. I'm guessing that means eventually, you somehow get your soul back."
"NEVER!" Angelus screamed. "I'll stake myself before I become that snivelling ass-wipe again!" Then he saw the stake hovering just a few inches away, and finally understood Xander's strategy. The annoying kid could have dusted him before now, but had chosen not to...
Because he wanted his prisoner to commit suicide.
Which was something Angelus was willing to do, oddly enough, assuming that Xander wasn't bluffing; a hundred years of torture from having Soul Boy control his body had taught the vampire that much, if nothing else. The only question was, therefore, was the damned blood bag bluffing or not?
The soulless vampire grabbed the stake out of the air, already knowing the answer to that.
"Well played, Harris," Angelus smirked, ignoring Buffy's gasp of horror. "I have to admit, you set this up really well. I couldn't have done a better job of it myself, and that's really saying something!"
"Angel?" Buffy looked like she desperately wanted to wake up from this nightmare.
Full of anger and hatred, Angelus knew that if he had to do this, he was damn well going to make it memorable for Buffy; and hopefully ruin her for all other men in the future. So he turned to the Slayer and said with a sugary voice, "You were a real disappointment in bed, I wasn't playing mind games about that. Always will be too, I'm sure; no matter how many men you sleep with. So I'll see you in Hell one day, slut."
Angelus slammed the stake into his own chest: ashes exploded outwards, and gently rained down to the floor.
"NO!!!" Buffy screamed, her heart instantly shredding apart from the loss. She ran forward and frantically grabbed at the ashes, the tears beginning to gush out of her eyes. Willow came over to comfort her, but then Buffy got up with a look of rage on her face.
"Xander, you BASTARD!" the Slayer yelled furiously. "You KNEW what Angel would do after you told him that! You're responsible for getting him killed, you son of a bitch!!"
"I'M responsible for what happened to that vampire?" Xander asked her sternly. "Buffy, I'm not the one who caused him to lose his soul. I'm not the one to blame for all the people Angelus killed last night, and I'm definitely not the one who forced that soulless monster to come here to his doom just now. I only provided the means for him to end his own life, and save all the other innocents Angelus would have otherwise killed from dying before their time."
"And that was your only reason for your actions? Yeah, sure! Because you always hated Angel, right from the start!" Buffy lashed out in her grief and fury.
"Hate leads directly to the dark side of the Force," Xander looked very troubled. "That's why I've been trying to suppress my emotions and follow the Jedi code ever since Halloween, I'm sure you must have noticed it before now. Buffy, I really don't want to become a Sith lord – 'cause quite frankly, Darth Harris would make Angelus look like a choirboy in comparison."
"That's it, I'm outta here!!" Cordelia declared vehemently, detaching herself from Giles. "You people, stay away from me from now on unless there's an apocalypse happening!" She then marched off, not looking back even once.
"That goes double for me, Xander! Our friendship is officially over," Buffy snarled at her former friend.
"I'm sorry you feel that way," Harris exhaled. "It'll make things a lot more awkward where Dawn's concerned."
"What? What's Dawnie got to do with this?" Willow looked as if she was sure that she was trapped in the middle of a bad dream.
"She can still feel the Force the same way I can," Xander confessed, much to everyone's surprise. "Dawn may not remember Leia Organa's life anymore, but that doesn't change the fact that she was possessed last year just like I was. So Dawnie needs training, or else she runs the risk of embracing the dark side of the Force one day. And I seriously doubt that any of us here wants to witness the birth of Darth Summers, right?"
Giles immediately started polishing his glasses, as Buffy started arguing and remonstrating with the young man Rupert now feared more than anyone else in this world.
Both thanks to his abilities, and his artificial memories spanning nine centuries of existence.
***
Monastery, Czech Republic, Europe
August 23rd, 2001
Thanks to Xander's actions during Buffy's 17th birthday, things were a LOT different here and now than they otherwise would have been.
Junior year had been relatively peaceful, with the worst bad guy a toss-up between the vampiric Gorch brothers and the demon known as der Kindestod, both of whom Buffy had taken care of relatively easily. There had been some problems with the Sunnydale High swim team turning into fish monsters too, but that had been sorted out relatively quickly as well.
It was after senior year had started that the rot had truly set in.
Since the girl known as Faith Lehane had never been activated as the Slayer and come to Sunnydale, thanks to her predecessor named Kendra never dying at Drusilla's hands, Willow had been all alone that night when her werewolf boyfriend had gotten loose from his cage. The lycanthrope named Oz had subsequently killed the redheaded girl, instead of Faith hitting the wolf with enough phenobarbital to knock out an elephant; and in due course, Oz had committed suicide after hearing the bad news the next day.
Likewise, because Faith was never there to prevent it, the vampire disciples of the demon Balthazar had restored their master to full strength, after recovering the slug-like demon's amulet. The empowered Balthazar had subsequently killed his mortal enemy, Mayor Richard Wilkins; and by the end of senior year Buffy was also dead, killed by the very same demon.
Cordelia had left town and headed for Los Angeles after graduation, ending up a free meal for the vampire named Russell Winters after foolishly accepting an invitation to his fortress-like home, at night. The half-demon named Alan Francis Doyle had been unable to save her, at least not all by himself.
Giles had left Sunnydale by that point, too. There was nothing left for him on the Hellmouth after Buffy's death, and Kendra had her own Watcher named Sam Zabuto to see to her needs. Going back to England, he'd run afoul of some Bringers of the First Evil and joined the list of the dead, after an axe had landed in his back during the battle.
Finally, Joyce Summers was the last to go.
She'd been killed by a rampaging monster known as ADAM, which had been created by a mad scientist named Maggie Walsh, and left her daughter Dawn orphaned as Hank Summers was nowhere to be found. Xander had, of course, taken her in and started to train the Key to help him defeat ADAM.
It had taken a while for the cyber-demonoid to be put down, but in the end the job had been accomplished and as thanks for their assistance, the Initiative leader named Riley Finn had let Xander and Dawn have free access to all the materials needed to build themselves a couple of lightsabres.
"Ready?" Xander asked the young girl, as both of them ignited their weapons.
"Not really," Dawn replied honestly. "Still kinda freaked after learning about that whole Key thing."
Harris nodded; he knew all of that would be enough to freak out anyone. After yet another Force vision and a lot of research, he had finally figured out what the monks had done in that other timeline. As well as what needed to be done now.
"It comes!" one of the monks babbled in Czech, as he and one of his brothers ran down to the corridor to the two Force-sensitive individuals. "The Beast is here!!"
"He said the Big Bad's about to show its face," the brunette girl said to her mentor, Miss Summers having a natural affinity for languages that Xander didn't. "Big surprise, huh?"
"Think positive," Xander advised her gently. "If you believe that what we're planning to do is futile, then the enemy's already won."
"Yeah, I know," the Key replied in annoyance. Then she tensed up, "You feel that?"
"Yep, here we go..."
The door connecting them to the main part of the monastery was smashed down, and an angry-looking blonde woman strode into the corridor. She saw Xander and Dawn waiting for her and said contemptuously, "So who have we got here? A couple of meat-sacks with shiny, glowing toys?"
"You are not welcome here. Leave or die," Xander told her calmly, the Jedi code forbade outright butchery after all.
"You think you can kill me? Newsflash, you over-evolved monkey, I'm a GOD!!" Glory crowed in amusement. "You can't do squat to my ass!"
"NOW!" Xander shouted, as Dawn feinted to the side and Harris executed a Force jump to try to decapitate Glory with his blade. But as he'd expected, that didn't work; Glorificus was immune to any sort of physical attack.
"Okay. Now I'm mad," Glory snarled, as the lightsabre had bounced off her neck and sliced down the back of her dress, ruining it. "Do you have any idea how hard it was to find something of that particular colour, which complemented my eyes and hair so perfectly?!"
"You mean your real hair colour, or after you dyed it?" Dawn called out as a challenge.
"You little BITCH!!" Glory ranted, looking to tear Dawn's head off. But the Key reached out with the Force, and sent her enemy flying backwards with a telekinetic shove.
Glory hit the wall, as the monks finished their ritual not far away. The previous incarnation of the Key vanished, sent back safely into the past as the two Sunnydalians had instructed the monks to do earlier today. At the same time the current version of the Key, Dawn, felt that peculiar echo of herself in the Force disappear, something which she had been sensing ever since becoming Princess Leia that night. The girl started to smile in delight, ( One problem solved. Now to take care of the other one! )
Xander, who had deactivated his lightsabre, reached out to submerge himself in the Force as much as he possibly could; and a moment later, lightning erupted furiously out of his fingertips.
The barrage assaulted Glory's divine body, driving her back screaming. It wasn't enough to kill her, but it was enough to weaken her energy so much that she had to retreat back inside the human host body she inhabited, the doctor named Ben.
"What-?" Ben managed to say, before he felt himself lifted up in the air. "What's going on?"
"That's what I'd like to know," Xander said. "One moment the Beast was there, and the next moment she's gone and you're present?" He reached out with the Force, and could just barely perceive the essence of the hellgod gathering its energy within Ben's physical form.
At that moment, the young man felt Glory's cloaking magic trying to work its way inside his brain, to strip him of the precious knowledge he had acquired.
"NOOOO!!" Xander shouted, doing all he could to fight against it.
Dawn never hesitated.
Igniting her lightsabre, she swung at Ben's neck just as the man's eyes changed colour, and Glory was about to re-emerge. The decapitated head went sailing away and crashed to the ground, and the rest of the male corpse did too after Xander lost his telekinetic grip on it.
"Xander! Xander, are you okay?" Dawn asked worriedly, completely ignoring the dead intern. There would be time enough to deal with the consequences of her actions later.
"Yeah. I'll be fine," Xander said mournfully, staring at the headless body as the monks of the Order finally showed up to help. "It's all over now, anyway."
***
Next: Story 9 - Cyborg