Just so that you're aware: Itachi pwns all other characters in this entire show, he's the coolest character ever. There are still some awesome characters out there, but Itachi is hands down the best. Thank you =]
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Things Itachi would never say:
1) Kisame, let's just cuddle tonight.
2) Brother! You've gotten so tall! (Actually, he did say that once, strike that =])
3) Wah, my life sucks! *slits wrists*
4) Sakura...you're so womanly ;)
5) I feel...so...pretty! So pretty, and witty, and gay...
6) I will eat your heart =]
7) Mmmmm...organs...
8) Does this nail polish match my eyes?
9) I need glasses.
10) No, Kisame, not a drink glass...stupid fish...
11) Who wants sushi? *Kisame screams*
12) My name is Itachi. *Hello Itachi* And I'm...I'm...an addict. Of cake. Stupid companion cube! (Portal joke, sorry.)
13) I miss Sasuke! *Sob*
14) Let the bodies hit the floor, let the bodies hit the floor...
15) Yay, pretty black flames. They dance! Squeeee!
16) God! I hate this long line for my stupid Breaking Dawn book! God! I want to read about my Jacob again...Jacob...drool...
17) Kisame, your hand...is so scaly...haha...scaly... *Kisame: Itachi, have you been munching on one too many mushrooms while looking through one too many kaleidoscopes?* No!
18) Sasuke...you're hair looks like it's gonna...fly...away...pretty birdy!
19) Run, run, and cling to life. And when you have the same eyes as I do--oooooh, a butterfly!
20) Naruto's got great fashion sense.
21) And when you're dying I'll be still alive. And when you're dead I will be still alive. (Sorry, Portal...)