Its been two days since Mycroft came to call. Two whole days trying to hold on to a life that shouldn't of a life that lead to excitement, danger and adrenaline.

I haven't moved anymore of Sherlocks possessions out. I know its fruitless but I'm still holding on to the we lead, that he's not gone on a case,maybe he will just be home in a few days. I know its not healthy to think this but I cant help it. Somehow this doesn't feel real, the man who believed he was of godly status,dead, the man who was the most intelligent in London only rival his brother somehow didnt foresee this end.

I sigh as I moved my way into the kitchen it simply didnt seem right. One last cuppa and I will call Greg. He's always checking on me. I shouldn't be bitter though he's just trying to help and he was Sherlocks friend too and 'the least incompetent of the yard'.

I didn't get the chance to though because he called first. "there's been a murder" "What? Look Greg, what do you want" I'm no use to him! im no consulting detective with the power of deduction "I want you down to Brixton now" " look Greg I'm not Sherlock and you have a forensics team!" I said exasperated "NOW" Greg growled dangerously and I knew thats when I knww I was beaten, there's no arguing with Greg when he's like this.

I made my way out of the flat and hailed a cab, a murder, not as exciting as it use to be but none the less my adrenaline has gone up a little bit. Maybe Greg knows I need this, the danger maybe he's not as dumb as Sherlock thought. My stomache twists slightly at the name. Stop it John I scolded you're strong you're stronger than this.

I payed the cabby hastily and set off tto the crime scene. The house set of a twinge if an echo in my mind, not being able to pull up whatever memory its attached to I push it to the back of mind abd tell myself to ignore it. Its probably the feeling of normality but without Sherlock. Don't think about it.

I meet Sargent Donovan at the police tape. "I told you to stay away from him, Sherlock Holmes, the freak" she spat his name with disgust. I bristle with anger shut up. Shut up. Shut up. SHUT UP I roared on the inside. My fist clenched and I nearly punched her I came so close but then Greg called my name "John! " Donovan holds up the police tape and I enter, heading for Greg. Oh no it's comming back. What am I going to do. Oh shit. I nearly HIT her. "Greg tell me the truth, what am I doing here" seriously what the hell "I need your help" Greg said turning on his heel and leaving knowing that I would follow. That little shit I thought as I hurried after him.

As soon as I entered the house I thought it looked familiar with those high walls filled with pictures and paintings but then I saw it, the blood splattered on the wall and floor `U REPEL ME` spelt in blood also on the wall and Kitty Riley, laying dead on the floor.