I think this might be the shortest thing I've written. Very,very brief one shot inspired by Unseen Academicals.
Paperclips
Drumknott scarcely heard the bell go as he opened the door* and walked without thought to the section he required. This was a matter of vital importance.
That it should be assumed he didn't buy his own paperclips! The shame of it. He bought all of his own stationary. Pens, pencils+, and most certainly paperclips.
There was just something so…useful about always having something that could hold sheets of papers together in your pocket. And having your own meant that you knew exactly how many you had left. No one else used Drumknott's paperclips. Ever.
Vetinari raised one eyebrow a few millimeters as he watched his secretary carefully position the new box of paperclips on his desk^. He also noted the deliberate way in which any documents requiring attaching to each other were attached using a paperclip taken out of Drumknott's pocket.
He decided that for the sake of the other man's sanity he would be careful to avoid so much as suggesting that Drumknott didn't buy any of his own stationary.
*The universal symbol of a shop that considers itself to be doing well if it gets more than one customer in a whole week.
+A lot of pencils, which almost always ended up in Moist Von Lipwig's pocket before they were even half used.
^With a precision that could be considered worrying, except that the person doing the considering thought that anyone who found anything as mundane as precision worrying was too easily frightened, and was also a believer in being precise`.
`When it suited him.