Prologue – Let's Get Going!
Tomo: Yomz, I have to say, though, that I'm not getting involved with Yukari-baby in regards to this, so you can deal with it.
JB: Hmm…It seems like there's going to be a bounty on her head soon…
Konata: Agreed. She's done for.
Miyuki: Really, Izumi-san?
Konata: Yeah, because as far as I remember, another branch of the Mizuhara family, separate from Yomi's side of the family and under a different surname, runs a recently formed group. I heard from one of Kagami's contacts on the force.
Yomi: (Grins) How correct you are, Konata-chan.
Tsukasa: (Shivers) A-a-a group?
Tomo: Yomi, remember though, not anything too bad, or else I need to go after them. You know I can, too.
Yomi: I'll make sure they stay away from force. I'll just leave her a message for her to come on over… Maybe tell Nyamo to come, too, since Yukari will likely piss herself if she has to come herself…
JB: Sure… And like that is better…
Tomo: Trust me, they're MUCH better in terms of that than the, "Mikihara Group."
JB: Really? Good, then. I won't have to worry about lawsuits most likely. But, Tomo, one question; Do your families know about your relationship?
Tomo: Oh yes! And they both approve, considering by the time we were in high school, all of us were practically a whole family, with how often we saw each other in the other's house.
JB: Even with the fact you're a cop?
Tomo: Well, I don't get any money from them to back off, so apparently, yes, they are OK with it.
Yomi: And if they dare do anything remotely close to Tomo, I'll make sure that they're in a cell. Permanently. Besides, as I checked, I don't think the group has been doing that much in terms of illegal shtick at all.
Tomo: That'd be right, Yomz. I've been checking the books at HQ, and it seems like the group's only territorial. No protection money has been asked for since the formation. Just cooperation in terms of repelling other groups from the area.
Yomi: Good. Maybe for the heck of it, we should invite Kuroi-san over here to join, too. It'll make the show interesting, with the teachers included as well. Konata, I'll leave it to you.
Konata: I got it, Mizuhara-dono.
Yomi: Don't call me that, Konata-chan. That title would belong with my grandfather's oldest nephew. Besides, this is only the second time I'll be associating with his business. The first time was that time Chiyo likely mentioned.
JB: You mean-
Chiyo: Yes, I've been friends with Yomi for so long, I'm apparently on high detail in terms of protection offered. The group held back the protestors for quite a while before the police came.
Tomo: Oh yeah… I found it weird when I saw that the group was involved in the incident over at your place.
JB: Interesting… So, would you say the Ballad of Toyomi and Konami is done?
Konata: Yep. That's pretty much all the details. And nice job with the names for the couples.
JB: Good. And with that, we are officially done introducing the cast of Azumanga Daioh! And now, let's begin with the cast of Lucky Star, most specifically, Konata Izumi! (Audience applauds) So, Konata, we all know that you were a dedicated otaku before, but has any of that gone away?
Konata: Nope,, not at all! In fact, I've been converting Kagamin into an otaku ever since we've been together!
Kagami: It's true. I'm even at the point when I can start blabbing all the productions made by some of the more famous artists.
JB: WHOA! I'm impressed. So Konata, where do you work? Or better, what is your work?
Konata: Well, some of you may not believe me, but I'm actually working in Studio Ghibli, and in fact, I'm actually being apprenticed by Hayao Miyazaki himself!
JB: H-H-H-Hayao Miyazaki?!! You mean, you're practically the true successor to Miyazaki himself?! How in the hell did you get this lucky?!
Tomo: I'd like to know, too. I thought that Miyazaki didn't have an apprentice yet…
Yomi: Better yet, how did you improve your drawing? Because I saw that one scribble you made in Ryōō, since Nanako had a copy…
Konata: Well, I actually learned quite a lot from Hiyori, in fact, right after we graduated, as a favor she owned me. I then refined it to fit the shōnen style, since Hiyori, because of her being in CLAMP, obviously specializes in shōjo.
JB: But the question is how the heck did you meet Miyazaki-san?
Konata: Well, little Kagamin here actually helped quite a lot with that. You see, she became a lawyer after a few years in law school, and apparently, Tezuka Animation was finally sued by Disney for those doujin Osamu Tezuka made of the early Disney movies.
JB: How could they?! They fucking ripped off Kimba the White Lion! I mean, those Tezuka doujins made quite a bit, but Lion King made millions more than the doujin!
Yomi: I know! That was garbage how Disney wanted to sue to grab more money due to the failing Pixar.
Kagami: Exactly! So, I decided, on Konata's behalf to save the company, took them on free of charge and counter-sued Disney for that whole fiasco involving Kimba and the Lion King. That forced them to come behind the table and make a settlement, in our favor due to the fact I had them cornered.
Kagura: Wow…I'm in the room with the lawyer that beat Disney…Kagami, I want you as my agent!
Chiyo: I want you to make sure that nothing goes wrong with the research!
JB: I want you as the lawyer for the show!
Kagami: Hey, guys, relax, relax! I'll try to see if I can fit you in for an appointment, and then we'll work it from there. Anyways, afterwards, I was talking with the head of Tezuka Animation, and he asked me if he could do me a favor. I then introduced Konata, recommendation followed recommendation between the animation companies, and now, you see the results.
Others: Whoa…
JB: I'm once again impressed, Kagami, Konata. How often do you hang out with Miyazaki-san, then?
Kagami: Well, I come on over to the office every so-often. We often just discuss ordinary life, since as I understand it, that's one of his greatest influences.
Konata: Yep! He even plans on possibly including a couple based on us in one of his later works.
Chiyo: Amazing… I can't wait until I see you guys in the next Ponyo or something like that.
JB: Me too…Anyways, Konata, you keep in touch with everyone from Ryōō?
Konata: Of course. You obviously see us four together a lot, as well as Minami and Yutaka. I see Patricia every so often in Ikeburo, and I visit Hiyori every Comiket. Kuroi-sensei is still on the guild, so I talk with her often enough. As for Ayano and Misao, though, all I can do is e-mail… But I haven't seen or heard from Akira and Minoru in ages. I'm surprised they're so docile together now.
Akira: Well, after a few dates, we've come to…an understanding.
Konata: Really now? Congrats you two! Many happy wishes to the both of you!
Minoru: Thank you, Izumi-san. It's an honor coming from one of the members of perhaps the longest-lasting couple I've seen in the school.
Kagami: Well, let's just say we got the right stuff.
JB: And that's three happy couples now! More joy to all of us! So, Konata, is that all?
Konata: Yes sir, that is all.
JB: Good. And now, we have Kagami Hiiragi! (Audience applauds) So, Kagami, what inspired you to become a lawyer?
Kagami: Well, for one thing, I want to fight for equal rights for same sex couples, something that's been long overdue now, especially in such a modern-thinking age. Not to mention I want to prepare a better world for when the next generation comes. Including our eventual daughter…
JB: Well said there. Now, as we all know, every lawyer has one case they take personally and try to win no matter what. Now, what would be that case be for you?
Kagami: My most personal case? (Thinks for a few seconds) After thinking about it, one day, Ayano came on over to my office, having heard about it from the papers. Now then, I notice something wrong with her, so I ask, and I get an answer that I'm not too happy about; she got raped by one of her sicko male co-workers, who just so happens to be her ex-boyfriend.
Others: WHA-
Konata: I knew something was wrong with him! Fuck him!
Miyuki: Minegishi-san never deserved that! I hope he rotted in prison!
Tomo: God damn it! Men like him shouldn't deserve to fuck anyone at all! He shouldn't even deserve to fuck himself! (Continues ranting in languages unknown to the others)
Yomi: (Sighs) Dear God…Tomo's experience in case work is starting to show again…
Chiyo: Well, I'd do the same thing, Yomi. Not even Kimura-sensei would do something that lewd!
Osaka: And it was her ex-boyfriend? Shouldn't he have gotten enough?!
All: (Stare at Osaka) Hmmm….
Kagura: Well, apparent-fuck-ly not!
Others: YEAH!!
Kagami: Guys, control yourselves here. I got as mad as you did, too. And I've already made sure he got his serving of regret.
Sakaki: How so?
Tomo: Yes, indeed, how so? I really hope Miyuki's right…
Kagami: Well, she is. He was sentenced to life due to the fact he also threatened her with a gun, not to mention the rape itself and wanting to get rid of the evidence.
Tsukasa: Good! He deserves to die there for not honoring Aya-chan's choice.
JB: I'm agreed. As is everyone else, I believe.
All: Agreed.
Kagami: I even did her case for free. And when she questioned that, I told her that I owed her and Misao for being friends, even though I didn't seem to know it at times.
Miyuki: Good. I must agree, Kasukabe-san and Minegishi-san are owed by all four of us, not just you. Maybe this research will be a favor for them.
JB: Trust me, it will, Miyuki. Now, Kagami, we know Konata keeps in touch with Kuroi-san. But, what about your teacher?
Kagami: Sakuraba-sensei? No, I haven't seen her in ages.
Yomi: Hikaru-san was your teacher, Kagami? Well, I'm sure the two comrades over there would like to know that she still runs the informational ad section.
Minoru: Really now? Well, tell her I said hi!
Akira: And tell her I want to know why she never went for my spot on Lucky Channel!
Yomi: Got it… (Silently to herself) Although wasn't Lucky Channel axed?
JB: Well… that wasn't expected. Anyways, Kagami, is that it?
Kagami: Yes, all the forks in the road have been taken.
JB: Great! Next, the person who has for some reason been the shadow, but with the help of Misao Kasukabe, believed she could and did become the star! Let's give it up for Tsukasa Hiiragi! (Audience applauds and cat-calls) Well, it's obvious there are a lot of people gunning for a date with you. So, why don't you have a date, if I'm guessing right?
Tsukasa: Nope, you're guessing right. I haven't had a date at all. Not even since onee-chan and Kona-chan got together.
Kagami: Really, sis?
Tsukasa: Yes… (Starts crying) And I haven't done a damned thing about it at all, onee-chan! (Embraces Kagami for support)
Kagami: Shhh, don't worry about it, Tsukasa. If it wasn't for what happened with Konata, I would likely be dateless, too. (Stays silent in serenity)
Tomo: Shh… This is a rare moment… Yuri twincest…
Konata: Oi! Tomo, you otou-san clone!
Kagami: Wha-? Tomo!
Tomo: What?
Kagami: You perv! You're as bad as Sojiro!
JB: (Sweatdrops) Not…quite what I expected… Anyways, Tsukasa, you know what I'll do. I'll make sure you get a date before the episode after the next, or my user tag is not JbstormburstADV!!
Konata: Whoa! Sir, is it wise to risk your tag over this?
JB: Of course! After all, look at all the people here; at least one of them will like to date Tsukasa, and I can come up with an arrangement…
Tsukasa: Really, John? You'd do anything to make it happen?
JB: Of course, Tsukasa. I mean, look at you! You're as cute as a button!
Konata: You do have a point there… Her natural airhead personality also earns a major plus in the pool.
JB: Exactly! So, Tsukasa, do not fret!
Tsukasa: Thank you, sir. I am honored!
JB: No thanks are needed; after all, dating is part of life. So, Tsukasa, what do you do for a living?
Tsukasa: Me? I hire out my services as a chef.
JB: A chef?
Konata: Yeah. If I said her cooking was good before, it's just heavenly now. She even helped me teach Kagamin over here how to cook.
Tsukasa: (Giggles) Well, she at least won't burn anything when she cooks.
Kagami: Hey!
Tsukasa: All she needs to do now is to master how to season food properly.
JB: I'd say that's impressive, considering what I've heard about the lunch theory.
Kagami: Not you, too!
Konata: Sorry, Kagamin, but that's your only weak spot. Other than that, you're the epitome of perfection!
Kagami: R-r-really Konata? Thanks. (Embraces Konata from behind) You know, I want to spend more time like this.
Konata: Aww…Kagami's all deredere now. How touching… Especially during the portion of a relationship spent in a room together…
Kagami: (Blushing) K-Konata!! How are you so open about stuff like that?! You could get us in trouble like this!
Tomo: Ah, people don't give a damn. I'd think they'd more likely be interested in our sex lives than repulsed… In fact, we should have a late-night episode one day!
JB: A late-night episode? I'd do it, but the censors may not release it. (Aside) Not to mention I'd have to fear for my life if my guesses are spot on…
Tomo: Damn it!
Chiyo: (Sweatdrops) Tomo… Why the interest in an episode like that?
Yomi: Trust me; I don't even have a clue. Unless… Tomo…
Tomo: Yes?
Yomi: You just want to spread tall tales of our trysts, now do you?
Tomo: Uhh… (Pathetically nods) Yes, that would be right.
Yomi: Tomo… You remember what happened last time you told some of those tall tales, right?
Tomo: Yes… And I don't want anything like that to happen again… Oh boy…
Yomi: Yes, that was quite a pickle there, Tomo, which you got us into… Almost wasn't able to get away from that one unscathed.
Chiyo: …Do I even want to know?
Yomi: Probably not, but I'll tell anyways; apparently, Tomo had been hooting it up with her police buddies about our lives together all the time, so, some of the conservatives on the force heard about this, and sent a, "domestic violence," call out to the area; in reality, several people related to the force came at our apartment building with flamethrowers.
Chiyo: Flamethrowers?! How could they?! They should be thrown off for that!
Kaorin: I know! Men are such slime balls!
Konata: Well, that's what happens when a man can't get their way with a woman; they often make it so no one else can have them.
Kagami: Ain't that the sad truth from the romantic?
Yomi: The lucky thing is Tomo was able to get a photo of the mob before they got too close, and I was apparently left with a detail from my uncle because of his knowledge of the relationship. They were arrested, tried, and convicted, which meant about twenty-five in the cooler due to intent.
Kagura: Good! Twenty-five years ought to bring some change to them, hopefully, and if not, they'll get life hopefully.
Yomi: They better. Also, due to the attempt, I contacted my uncle, he referred me to the main man under, and I assigned protection details on a lot of people I knew.
Tomo: Well, it seems it's been worth it, and the best part is that they don't ask for money!
JB: That's a happy ending there, considering you two are OK. So, Tsukasa, how's the rest of the family, considering that Kagami probably lives in the Izumi household or an apartment all her own?
Kagami: What the? I keep in perfect touch-
Konata: She does live with me in my house.
Kagami: That's… That's… (Pathetically in sulkiness) That's right…
Tsukasa: The family? Well, Mom and Dad are in good health and still running the shrine. Matsuri got married and has a baby girl now named Ayako.
JB: Aww…A baby...
Chiyo: Do you have pictures?
Tsukasa: Not on me, but I'll show them to you later. Now, Inori's actually becoming a fully dedicated miko, and she's almost done with her training.
Konata: Really now? A miko? Well, that'll be buzzing in my mind for a while…
Kagami: (Facepalms) Dare I ask if you're going to cosplay as a miko soon?
Konata: (Sweetly) Why would I, Kagami? After all, I am an angel.
Kagami: Yeah right. More like a girl with the hormones of a boy…
Tsukasa: That's right, considering how you usually are the one who initiates everything, if what Kagami tells me is correct.
Konata: (Blushes) Wow… You actually did tell her. This takes me to the time when I was twisting your comments so that it appeared she had a fetish for devils…
Kagami: (Grins toothily) And think of this as getting even…
Tomo: …I'm not even gonna ask.
Yomi: Me neither. And I'm usually the male in the relationship, sadly…
JB: Well…this seems like a good time to move on… That's everyone, isn't it Tsukasa?
Tsukasa: Yes, and I have nothing else to add.
JB: Great. So, onto the last but certainly not the least, Miyuki Takara! (Audience applauds) Well, Miyuki, it's been a while since you've been in school. Have any of your quirks from then disappeared?
Konata: Oh no, I know her well enough to say that she's still the Miyuki-san we've all come to know! Smart like Wikipedia and as clumsy as anything, even eight years later!
Miyuki: (Blushing) Well, I'm pretty much the same person as I was in high school… But I also got over some of it, such as my fear of contacts, as you can see.
JB: I know, and boy, with the right outfit, you could be dressed to kill.
Miyuki: But, I'm still scared of other stuff going on my eye.
JB: Well, at least you can put on contacts now…
Konata: (Sighs) Which means if Miyuki gets allergies, I'm going to need the kind of table you would normally use for BDSM…
JB: …This is gonna get kinda awkward here…
Yomi: You couldn't even hear the crickets…
Tomo: Should we move on?
JB: Sure… So, Miyuki, are you in a relationship currently?
Miyuki: Me? Well…I've been meeting up with someone a lot, recently, and honestly, I think he's cute.
Konata: Ooh, Miyuki, can you tell us names at least?
Miyuki: (Blushing) His name is actually Shaun. Shaun Miyamoto.
Yomi: Interesting. An American… (Aside) Not to mention my main connection to the group. How did he meet her?
Tsukasa: An American? How lucky of you, Yuki-chan!
Miyuki: Thank you, Tsukasa-san.
JB: And another surprise here. Say, Miyuki, I heard something about Minami and Yutaka being together. Do you see them often?
Miyuki: Of course, John-san. I see Minami-san and Yutaka-san together all the time at Minami's house. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if they're about to make the final plunge.
Konata: Really? Minami and Yutaka? Aww… I can't wait until their wedding! I've been backing them since day one. So why wouldn't I be there?
JB: I wouldn't want to find out, considering Yutaka was practically your little sister. So, Miyuki, have you had any regrets at all during your life, especially considering your research?
Miyuki: No, I do not have any regrets. I may be traveling the path least followed, but I'm happy doing so. It helps to give me purpose in life, this research. Plus, I see it as a constant reminder of my friendship with those two over there. (Points to Kagami and Konata) Without them, I wouldn't have the same confidence I have today.
Kagami: That's really sweet of you, Miyuki. I feel like I owe you even more, though.
Konata: GROUP HUG!! (All the Lucky Star cast hug Miyuki)
Miyuki: Really, thank you, all of you. Without you, I would have been teased out of high school.
Tsukasa: We would never let that happen to our Yuki-chan, wouldn't we?
Others (LS): Agreed!
JB: …That was so móe, I almost cried at the cuteness.
Tomo: I know… Group hug! All of us! (All cast members hug in a big circle)
Sakaki: You know…I could get used to serene moments like this.
Kaorin: I know. Isn't it peaceful, Chiyo-chan?
Chiyo: It's so…beautiful…
JB: Well, we need to end this show eventually, so I'm gonna ask we return to our seats. (Everyone sits down) So, Miyuki, is that all?
Miyuki: It is as you say.
JB: Great! And with this, I'd like to end this episode of Lucky AzuStar Daioh with a feature called, "Fic Corner." Therefore, Akira, Minoru, take it away!
Akira: Thank you, sir, and welcome to Fic Corner, the place where fics can either make it hard or fail hard. So, Minoru, what fic is our feature today?
Minoru: The fic today is from the Azumanga Daioh fandom, and it's called Azumanga Daioh Returns by jamesbondkid2001. And… he apparently retired the series recently to end its historic two year run of 148 chapters and multiple spin-offs.
Akira: Well, whoever you are, jamesbondkid2001, your work will be missed. I've heard rumors that JB actually read it… over ten times now, if my counting is correct.
Minoru: Over ten times?! Talk about author loyalty! So, the premise of the fic is about the adventures of the Azu-gang after college, primarily focusing at first on the OC of Joe Ichiro, and then panning out as the years pass by.
Akira: Talk about years! It covers at least three! And it's pretty detailed considering its pace. Not to mention all the subplots…
Minoru: I know, Akira-chan, and personally, I wanted to know what happens between Koharu and Kaori Kimura.
Akira: That…would be interesting… In fact, it would be weirder than even if Koharu and Sachiko became best friends.
Minoru: Well, talk about infinite possibilities… Anyways, what would you rate this fic? I give it…8 out of 10. Maybe 9…
Akira: I'd have to say, the grammar was sloppy at times, but the experience made it not matter at all. 9 out of 10, definitely.
Minoru: OK, then. This is Minoru Shiraishi and Akira Kogami, signing out!
(Screen fades to black)
(In the middle of Tokyo)
Yomi: C'mon, c'mon, pick up…
????: Hello, who is this?
Yomi: Hello, this is Mizuhara-san.
????: Ah, Mizuhara-san it has been a long time. So, what do you need taken care of now?
Yomi: Well, did you see the show?
????: Of course, ma'am. Am I to understand the stated is our new assignment?
Yomi: Yes. Remember, limit your guys on Yukari, and invite Nyamo personally. No force with her.
????: Understood, ma'am. Anything else?
Yomi: Yes, I want to place Chiyo-chan, Miyuki Takara, John-san, and the Izumi household on critical detail. Increase our protection to critical as well, and put the rest of the cast, as well as Kagura's boyfriend, on high alert detail.
????: You got it, ma'am.
Yomi: Besides, I have a question for you. Miyuki's been spotting you often. Have you taken her into your interest, Shaun?
Shaun: Why, of course, Koyomi. In fact, I'm about to ask her out soon.
Yomi: Well then, I offer you my congratulations. Just make sure everything's taken care of, OK?
Shaun: Sure thing, Mizuhara-san. Goodbye. (Hangs up)
Yomi: Good. Everything's taken care of. (Walks away)
(With the Lucky Star cast)
Konata: Well, Miyuki, that was a great episode, wasn't it?
Miyuki: Of course, Izumi-san.
Konata: Say, Miyuki-san, can I talk to you privately?
Miyuki: Sure, Izumi-san. Follow me. (Miyuki takes the corner and Konata follows)
Tsukasa: What could they be talking about, onee-chan?
Kagami: Who knows? Let me drop you off, though.
(Kagami and Tsukasa walk into the distance)
(With Miyuki and Konata)
Miyuki: Now, Izumi-san, what do you need to know?
Konata: Miyuki… Is the procedure ready?
Miyuki: Yes…Izumi-san, the project was finally finished. You will have your own biological child, and all we need to do is have it approved for the clinical trials.
Konata: Oh, Miyuki-san! (Hugs Miyuki fiercely, sobbing in joy) Thank you! Thank you!
Miyuki: Understand something; this project is very new, so we don't know anything. We don't even know if the fetus will be able to live… So, Konata, are you sure you want this to happen, even with the possibility of losing your child?
Konata: I'm sure. After all, the same risk exists with other babies normally born. And if we lose it, we'll just recover and try again.
Miyuki: Good. And Kaorin has provided a massive fund source, meaning that we can make sure that everything goes well. Over ten million in U.S. dollars…
Konata: Really?! This is great! So, Miyuki-san, call us once the clinical trials have been approved.
Miyuki: Of course, Izumi-san. Say, are you going to go down the final plunge?
Konata: Yes. I have the ring set and everything. I'll set up a time at Fancy that Kagami will never forget.
Miyuki: Well, then, Izumi-san, I wish you good luck. I'll see you later. (Walks away toward her house)
Konata: I should be going, too. Just need to get that date at Fancy set, and then, Kagami is all mine for all of time. Woohoo! (Runs over to her place)
(Meanwhile, with Osaka)
Osaka: Hey, hun, I'm home!
????: Welcome home, Ayumu! (Kisses Osaka head on) So, was today interesting?
Osaka: Of course! You know, none of my friends noticed my engagement ring. How come?
????: Maybe because you left it here? (Gives Osaka her ring)
Osaka: Silly me! I always do stuff like this! (Puts it on her left index finger)
????: Well, it makes you cute. (Embraces Osaka) You know I love you, Ayumu Kasuga.
Osaka: So do I you, Arata Hibki.
Arata: Well, let's make that Kasuga soon, ne?
Osaka: Of course!
Hey there, hope you like it! I'd also like to give a shout-out to all my beta readers; Rave The Rich, Osaka-chaness, and Daniel Benfield. Plus, if you can find the most or even all the references to any anime or its fandom, including those not involved, you'll receive a load of brownie points in my book, not to mention the opportunity to date Tsukasa!
Tsukasa: You were serious?!
JB: Of course I was. Honestly, I think you need someone, like how your sister has Konata, or as close as you can get to that…
Tsukasa: …What do you mean?
JB: Well, look at it. Considering how long they've been together, marriage is a VERY likely course in their future, even maybe as close as a few months or even weeks. And honestly, I REALLY think you deserve to be loved. In fact, I would even date you myself, but then my girlfriend would kill me, not to mention I'm way too young.
Tsukasa: You have a girlfriend?
JB: Yes, but it's very, very, VERY complicated, so I want to keep it under curtain for now…
Tsukasa: Sure! And thanks for letting me know you'd put the offer on the table. (Pecks JB on the left cheek)
JB: (Blushes) Sure thing, Tsukasa. (Composes himself) Anyways, please e-mail me your responses to the contest; do not include them in your reviews. Also, the deadline is the posting time of the next episode, and if you were a beta reader, you may not enter the running for the competition. If you need to know, my e-mail can be found on the link on my profile page. So, until next time, see ya!