Answer 1: Would be boring if he would die there, ne?
Answer 2: That's one of the unsolved mysteries in this universe
Answer 3: Perhaps, perhaps not... Who wants to place a bet?
Disclaimer: Again? Why do you folks don't believe me? I – do – not – own – Evangelion. Everyone who says something else, must be a guy in a chicken costume.
You know, I thought about it... first I thought 'I could make a sequel...'. After all, there was no angel, no one died and Gendo did not show up at all. So, a 'worse day' would be possible. Then, I realised that the people of Gainax already had that idea and called it 'End Of Evangelion'. So, I thought again and had another idea. Isn't it said in the bible: 'after the rain, there comes the sun?' or something like that? After a day of bad luck, there could be a day of luck! Well, just an idea...
I just noticed that the chapter names in the chapter menu aren't always the same as the ones in the stories. But hey, who really cares?
Rain is not bad? Perhaps it's not, but it's demoralising at this point!
Evil Sadist??? Me? Alright, perhaps a little...
By the way, Shinji will not need EVA-01 to kill god. Bare handed, that's what he wants!
"this" is in speech and 'this' in thought; -:this:- is some doing while having a call; --this-- is some seamless doing in a sentence (or something like that...). I'll tell you the golden rule of my father's bar: First, you can go but don't want to. Later, you wanna go but can't anymore. I've fallen prey to it several times.
Chapter eight: The Final Obstacle
Shinji Ikari, drenched to the bones, walked through the forest. The ice-cold rain and the even colder wind were working on Shinji. Shivering, he stumped through the mud. He wasn't thinking any bad, as he heard something break.
"What now?", he said, fearing the worst.
As he turned around, he couldn't see anything for a while, not until he looked to the ground right in front of him. There, wrecked on a rock, was his beloved SDAT.
"NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!", he screamed.
Shinji kneeled next to his loyal companion. Tears mixed with rain were running down his cheeks.
"Of all the things... WHY??? --sobs-- not my SDAT...", he whined into the remains.
He looked around in mourning. Then, after some observation, his expression became dark.
"Son of a bitch...", he murmured into the night.
He stood up and looked up to the sky. A bolt torn the clouds apart.
"One rock... ONE FUCKIN ROCK FOR MILES???", Shinji screamed to the sky.
He looked up to it, as if he was waiting for an answer. Only rain came.
"Mud... wherever I look, there is only mud... only one rock... why the hell did my SDAT have to fall there? WHY????"
A thunder growled through the darkness.
[A/N: To be honest, I have no clue how late it is... let's say, afternoon/evening... By the way, that happened to me!!! Schoolyard covered in snow. Only one spot without. My glasses fell precisely on that place... they broke. Not kidding!!!]
"This time you went too far. Taking my health, I can live with that, for some time at least... Taking my pride, I am used to it. But destroying the only thing that brings happiness in my life..."
Shinji wasn't angry. He was disappointed. Head shaking and slightly crying, he took the remains of his SDAT and went on. His way home.
------ The Katsuragi household ------
"Say, how did you persuade Rei to come along?", Misato whispered to Toji.
"Kensuke's doing... I don't know how he did it, but he somehow did..."
"Great, Wondergirl knew where to look for that stooge... we should honour her and make this day a holiday.", Asuka said bad-tempered.
"Hey devil, at least she tried. You're just sitting here and wait for him to return so he can cook for you. After you kicked his balls out of his ears, you should at least be a bit worried."
"First, I do not care if he comes home or not. Second, call me devil again and you will face hell!", Asuka said very convincingly.
"You are lucky, I have to live with her.", Misato said out of her mouths corner.
"What was that?", Asuka grumbled low.
"ME? --looks surprised-- I just said: I am lucky, I have beer."
No one moved.
'She'll never buy that.'
'Misato-san is done for.'
'Take cover!!!'
'I wonder how Ikari-kun is doing right now...'
"Sounds believable to me...", stated Asuka and everyone relaxed. "So, what are we going to do about that stooge?"
"Section two is working on that. They mobilized every man they have." 'At least I hope it for them.', she thought evilly.
"We haven't seen any of them. Not even one."
"These guys are working undercover.", Misato assured them. Well, she tried.
"Undercover? We saw nobody. Do they hide in the sewers or something?", Kensuke asked.
Toji's expression became pale...
"Well, they are everywhere and they find everyone..."
...paler than before.
"Well, I can cook.", Hikari said to change the subject. "Who's hungry?"
Misato, Kensuke, Asuka and Pen-Pen raised their hands. One after another looked at Toji.
"You're not hungry?"
"I think, I lost it...", Toji said in an end of the world voice.
"Asuka, would you lend me a hand in the kitchen?", Hikari said, again trying to change the subject.
"Yeah, I guess no one of these persons could cook anyway.", she said in her 'I am better than you' voice.
"Yeah, we can't cook. So, --pointing to the kitchen-- it's all yours!", Misato said with a smile.
It slowly dawned Asuka, that she was more being used than being admired.
"Hey, that's cheating!"
"I didn't cheat you, just probably fleeced you a bit..."
"Hey, Misato-san outwitted the devil, that's...", Toji began. We'll probably never learn what Toji wanted to say, because Asuka was out for blood. Toji's blood, and he tried his best to prevent this.
------ Same house, two apartments further ------
"You hear that? Sounds like a party is going on...", the woman said.
"Probably a razzia...", the man stated.
"World war III?", a young girl asked.
"No, just the hot babe from the neighbourhood.", Yoshimo, student at the Tojibaru High, son of Jack Beam and Akiko Otohime, boyfriend of Naru Higurashi, best friend of Tamiya Kinomoto, best student of Jim Daniels, member of the nimble weasels pathfinders, best hacker in the Tokyo-three area, cook of the lamest chilly ever known, second best stunt driver in the school, impassionate collector of yebisu beer cans and a real unimportant side actor in this story, said amused. [AN: Alright, you caught me. I am not very creative when it goes to creating names... sue me, kick me, give me animal names!]
"Ahh!", the whole family moaned in union.
----- At Shinji's whereabouts ------
"Am I dreaming?", Shinji said in a madman voice. Then, he rubbed his eyes. As his view sharpened again, he began to smile.
"A STREET!!! I AM SAVED!!!", Shinji ran up to the street, kneeled down and kissed the wet asphalt.
"Thanks --kiss-- this --kiss-- is --kiss-- the best --kiss-- street I've --kiss-- ever seen.", Shinji muttered in pleasure.
[AN: I've stopped his kissing because it could get out of hand. I once kissed the street like him. I was walking home on a field path. Drunk as a skunk I finally reached the street. I was happy! The asphalt was so warm, I slept a round on it, but we're off the topic...]
Shinji, confident as he hadn't been for a long time, walked down the street. Nothing could possibly stop him. Or is there something that could?
"I'll be home in 20 minutes. Nothing can stop me anymore---", he said as his right foot broke through a gully.
"LET GO!!! YOU FUCKIN' SEWERS WONT GET ME ANOTHER TIME!!!"
Shinji struggled and shouted like a small child, but was successful in the end. The only thing the gully got, was his shoe.
"Satisfied? That's all you get. HA!!!"
Laughing like a real madman, he jogged down the street.
After only ten minutes, he reached the city limits. There was a sign saying 'Welcome to Tokyo-three.' Under this sign, there was the NERV logo.
'God is in heaven, where else should he be.'
"God is in heaven? God is in Hawaii and enjoying some Hula-skirt wearing girls. Devil is his vacation replacement and he is doing HIS job very well...", Shinji grumbled.
A thunder announced the prove for Shinji's theory. The ice cold rain became ice cold hail. Shinji shook his head.
"I should write a novel about this day. But who would want to read a story about my day of misfortune?"
Shinji looks up to the readers right now.
"Well, so much for that..."
Shinji continued his walk, the hail coming down like concrete. After some minutes, the streets had turned white.
"This is certainly not my day..."
Shinji walked through the streets, as close to the buildings as he could. Just as he was able to see his apartment in the distance, he heard a crack.
Fearing, that the streets would be torn apart and devil would come out to pick him up, he looked around, but couldn't see anything. Shinji didn't know where to look, not until he looked down.
'Every good is coming from above...', he thought. As he looked up, he knew the truth of this phrase. An ice plate, formed on the roof out of all this hail, came down with amazing speed. This was not the bad news. But, Shinji stood directly under it.
"Oh no...", he said and got knocked out as the ice plate crashed onto him.
There he was again, the tropical island. Only him, the engine of a 1967 Ford Mustang Shelby GT-500 and a bottle of Jack Daniels. Because he only saw use for one of the two items, he put the bottle aside and took a closer look at the engine. It was working on it's own, but it spoke:
"Gimme a drink!"
"Pardon?"
"I need Whiskey!"
"Sounds unbelievable..."
"You're talking to an engine right now..."
"You got a point there."
Shinji took the bottle and was about to ask, where to fill in but saw a sign 'Alcoholics in here' under a funnel. Looking around one more unsure time, he tilted the good stuff in. The engine responded by hauling heavily.
"Thanks buddy, now wake up and go home!"
Shinji, suddenly awake, felt the hail again falling in his face. Slowly, he stood up.
"Jesus, my dreams are getting weirder every time... Must be the alcoholics I sleep in the same apartment with..."
As he stood again, he made a self check.
"Alive?" 'yes'
"Health?" 'A little bit'
"Position?" 'Good question!'
As he looked up, he saw his house only five hundred metres away.
"Luck?" 'I wouldn't count on that...'
Shinji began to walk again. His head felt two sizes too small for his brain. Headache was the underestimation of the day.
----- The house containing the half dead Toji -----
"I warned you, stooge!", Asuka said angry.
"He wont say it again!" 'He can talk of luck if he will ever be able to speak again.'
"Calm down Asuka, I don't want to fill out one of those stupid forms which say that a civilian died in an accident containing a pilot under my charge...", Misato said bored.
"I've got some food here, who wants some?", Hikari cheered from the kitchen.
After everybody stormed into the kitchen (Toji hobbled in slowly), there was a greedy silence.
There was nothing special for the next five minutes.
"We probably should take him to a doctor afterwards, he's not looking that good.", Kensuke said with some rice still in his mouth.
"Swallow, then talk. By the way, I don't see any differ!", Asuka stated.
Everyone looked up as they all heard the door bell.
"A doctor?"
"No, Section two."
"Nope, the neighbours."
"I schtill hope for the medic..."
"Military forces, no doubt!"
"You are all wrong!", said Rei and they all stood up. "It's Ikari-kun!"
As they got to the door, Misato pushed the 'open' button.
Who is at the door? Will Toji ever talk again? Did the author really do the things he said he did?
Wait a little and you'll find out! May the force be with the author... and some rest!