Kenuyasha: Well, he's not conscious yet…

Yann-kun: Not my fault. I really tried my best -looks disgusted- to help him.

Kenuyasha: A good thing his last will contains this chapter.

Yann-kun: Yeah, but the readers might get angry… after all, we killed the author!

Kenuyasha: HEY, he's not dead!

Yann-kun: Well, he does not seem very alive to me…

Kenuyasha: He's just in coma, I'll show you.

Kenuyasha tickles MyWay who begins to smile

MyWay with glee: ICE CREAM…

Yann-kun: Okay, but how to make him wake up again?

Kenuyasha: I have an idea -grins evilly-

Yann-kun frightened: We do not own Evangelion or its characters and I have nothing to do with the things that are coming ahead… I'll burry myself in the basement, along with my guitar for at least a week!

/ > / > / > / > / > / > / > / > / > / > / > / >

Chapter Twelve: Co-Workers and other minor creatures

Shinji felt dizzy. His head was heavy and his body was aching. He opened his eyes just to see water. As he looked up he could confirm that he was on the ocean, on a float to be accurate.

"At least it's not that island again." he said and was glad not to be there.

After some minutes of drifting with the waves.

"On second thought, it's quite boring out here, not to mention that I don't like the idea of me being on a drifting float completely alone on the ocean…"

To make the time pass by, he counted the waves. The first 237 waves were okay, but then this whole matter became boring.

"Why am I here? Why do I exist? What is my purpose in life? Why do I have those annoying weird dreams?"

"You think he'll wake up anytime soon?"

Shinji looked up.

'Voices -Frowns- Talking fish?'

"I truly hope so; Ritsuko will kill me if not!"

'Sounds familiar… a beer fish?'

"Hey, can't you move him more to your side? Not that I couldn't handle that weight, but I dislike it right now!"

'… killer shark!'

"Oh, only right now? That means you usually like a boy on top, eh?"

'Sounds like a suicidal fish to me.'

"WHAT? JUST WAIT UNTIL I GET MY HANDS ON YOU! THIS TIME I'LL KILL YOU FOR SURE! DON'T STOP ME HIKARI, I'LL MAKE IT LOOK LIKE SUICIDE!"

"I hardly doubt that this will look like suicide in the end…"

'Okay, that's no fish. That's the voice of reason… Hikari?'

"Hey, I think he's waking up!"

Shinji slowly opened his eyes, just to look into Reis eyes. His senses were not back fully yet, but he noticed that she was smiling. A nice and warm smile. As he checked his surroundings he got surprised. They were in a car. That fact alone was not special, but including the driver, they were seven people. Misato sat on the side seat while Rei, Toji Hikari, Asuka and Kensuke were squeezing themselves into the rear seats. Shinji lay on top of them.

"Hey pal, had a nice nap?" Toji asked with a smile.

"I … was showering… and then… the water got hot! I jumped out… and hit the basin with my head… -expression gets stern- say, how did I find my way in here?"

"We carried you in here."

"Okay, but how did I find my way in here DRESSED?"

Total silence…

"If I was to tell you that you dressed yourself while you were unconscious, would you actually believe me?" Toji asked in a fun voice.

"Actually… not -Sighs- Let's care about that later. What's bugging me right now is: What are we doing all together in this car?"

"Driving to Headquarters, Angel attack!"

"Ah, I should have known… this day is really turning from an ordinary nightmare to a horrific frenzy…"

"I SAID GET HIM OFF ME!" Asuka yelled and struggled to make more room for her. Unfortunately she raised her knee in this process…

Shinji did not scream, but with his mouth wide open and his eyes filled with tears, it was quite clear to everyone what happened.

"HEY DEVIL, will you stop kickin' Shinji's crotch? He does not look like he had a pleasant day, so have some mercy with him."

"YOU should stop talking to me, you are already on my to-do list! Or do you want to switch places with him?"

With a slight movement she caused Shinji to show that painful expression again.

"Can't stand the temptation when Shinji is on top, eh?" Toji said challenging.

"YOU…" Asuka grumbled, her right eyebrow twitching fast and hard; she was near the boiling point now.

"I would appreciate if you would stop struggling, because I am feeling a lot of pain right now." Shinji stated in a pretty high pitched voice.

"And who cares? Pain lets you know you're still alive, right Shinji?"

With those last words she raised her knee again.

"YES… I am very alive today…" he whispered in a girly voice with squinting tear-filled eyes.

"Okay kids, here's what's going on: Headquarters sighted a blue pattern coming towards us from sea. In around two and a half hours we have unpleasant company here. We don't know any- Asuka, would you please stop torturing poor Shinji's balls and pay attention?"

"I AM paying attention!"

"Yeah, but you're not supposed to pay attention to Shinji's private parts... at least not now!"

Asuka's face was now almost as red as her EVA.

"YOU - WILL - SUFFER - GREATLY!" she growled aloud; gnashing teeth accented her threat.

Asuka's outburst contained many movements of course. Shinji Ikari just wished to be back on his float, alone and painless with the waves. The only waves he felt right now were the waves of agony.

The rest of the drive contained two things. Laughter on the one side and pain on the other.

/ > / > / > Street in the middle of the City / > / > / >

"Hey, is it just me, or is no one else around?"

"They are listening to the 'Go and hide your butt in a shelter' message."

"And, why don't we go to a shelter?"

"We were ordered to NERV Headquarters, we have to go there. Mankind's future may be in our hands!"

"Um... I think you're exaggerating now..."

"Oh yeah? Then try this one, you'll feel great afterwards." Bob said and offered Al something to smoke.

Al was no simple minded person, but when it was up to smoking shit, he was the second to say "Yes". Bob was, of course, first.

/ > / > / > Somewhere deep down in NERV HQ, garages / > / > / >

"I can't walk..." Shinji complained after the first three steps.

"Stop whining!"

"I can't walk!" he said again as he took another step.

"I said shut up. Why can't you walk anyway?" Misato asked sideways.

"Because it hurts!" Shinji almost shouted, the word 'anger' written all over his face.

"Oh come on, there is not that much that can hurt anyway!" Asuka said and smiled evilly to Shinji.

"How do you know? You peeked on him, you horn dog!" Toji said and engaged into manic laughter.

The only thing that appeared strange to him was the fact that no one was laughing with him

That fact alone was frightening, but that the whole group took a step back in union, was horrifying.

Toji turned around, only to see a fist impacting on his nose. Then, everything went black.

"I saw him in the bathroom, you jerk. My poor innocent soul almost shattered at that sight!"

"Who is poor?" Misato asked surprised.

"Who is innocent?" Kensuke wondered.

"What soul?" Shinji asked confused and they all shrugged unknowingly.

"SAY, IS IT REALLY NECESSARY FOR ME TO FLIP OUT AND PERFORM A TRIPPLE HOMICIDE HERE AND NOW?"

Asuka's right eye twitched with amazing speed and her breath was heavy. Many veins showed up on her forehead. Not to mention, that her whole face colour turned from red to dark red. And even though Misato was not really sober, she could swear to see steam running out of Asuka's nostrils.

"Well, she is in the perfect mood for an angel-fight!" Misato said with a smile.

"Yes, but I am not happy. We might not witness that fight..." Shinji whispered from the side.

"Asuka", Misato said as if she was calling out for her puppy, "I've got something for you... An Angel... -Asuka came closer- yes, that's fine... all yours..."

"Did I express myself unclear? Until I sit in my EVA, I don't want anyone of you to talk… nobody!"

If you ever thought to have seen scary eyes, here they are.

Misato inhaled to say something, but Asuka shut her progress off, raising her hand.

"I am serious. You might have a weapon, but I am Asuka Sohryu Langley."

Shinji gestured his guardian to stop, not to provoke Asuka anymore. So, they went on, Asuka leading the group. Misato, Hikari and Rei behind her... Kensuke and Shinji were carrying unconscious Toji, who still had a smile on his face, yet did not look that well.

/ > / > / > Four quiet Minutes later / > / > / >

"See? Some minutes of silence can be so relaxing." Asuka said and smiled satisfied.

"Uh... Icha... naa?" Toji stammered his eyes not adjusted to his surroundings.

"Better make him shut up, or I will shut him off."

"It's alright Toji -pets head- everything will be alright... just remain silent..." Kensuke said caringly.

"But... me ... talk..."

"Toji, please pull yourself together... Langley will kill you if don't shut up!"

"... Devil?" -face punch-

"I am NOT called devil! Remember that! I have a great name: Asuka Sohryu Langley. Beautiful and attractive, admired by many. I am the second Children, the best pilot and probably the most important person on this planet."

"Lecturing him won't have any effect... he's unconscious!"

Asuka slowly clenched her fist, turning around with her right eye twitching.

"I'll MAKE him remember!"

/ > / > / > HQ, Command Centre / > / > / >

"21 minutes until target arrives..." Shigeru said to remind everyone.

"BY GENDO'S FAT ASS, STOP SAYING THE ETA TIME EVERY MINUTE!" Ritsuko barked through the huge room.

"By the way, where is commander Ikari anyway?" Maya asked confused.

Yann-kun: "He took the elevator! He took the elevator!"

"Not here, that's all we have to know." Fuyutsuki said from above.

'Ikari... where the hell are you?'

Then, a flashback came into his mind, followed by another.

/ > / > / > flashback / > / > / >

"Fuyutsuki, I will go to lunch. Tell Dr. Akagi to have my car fuelled up."

"Yes sir."

/ > / > / > flashback 2 / > / > / >

Kozo Fuyutsuki tried to call someone, but no one on the other end answered his call.

"Damn it, what is she doing? Why are ingenious scientists never at hand when you need them?" he asked as he gave up his call try. >>AN: Remember Chapter seven?>>

'Well, the fuel in Gendo's car should last for that trip...'

/ > / > / > end of flashbacks / > / > / >

Vice-commander Fuyutsuki suddenly felt very uneasy in his skin; with a sweat drop on his forehead he stood high above everyone else. Bad images of his future came into his mind.

/ > / > / > Outside of the city, on a dark street / > / > / >

"SHIT!" Gendo Ikari cursed into the night and walked down the street, carrying a patrol can.

"I'LL GET YOUR ASSES FOR THAT... CONSPIRACY... JUST WAIT UNTIL I AM BACK...!" he shouted and pointed towards the city.

/ > / > / > / > / >/ > / > / > / > / > / >

/ > / > / > / > / > / > / > / > / > / > / >

MyWay opens his eyes, yet a bit sleepy: Where am I?

Kenuyasha: In your bed.

MyWay: I see... hey -looking onto his own body- how did I find my way in here?

Kenuyasha: I carried you.

MyWay: Okay, but how did I find my way in here UNDRESSED?

Kenuyasha while thinking: Well, I thought it would be a nice pun to the story if you say that aloud.

MyWay shaking head: Okay, forget about that... Where is my Teddy?

Kenuyasha: Um... perhaps he ran away?

MyWay: Heh?

Yann-kun coming through the door: Hey, did I miss something here -seeing MyWay- Hey Manu, did you know that you are naked?

MyWay with twitching eye: NO... PLEASE, TELL ME ABOUT IT!

Yann-kun shrugging: Okay, you lie in your bed, without any clothes. Everyone can see your-

NOTE: The following scenes were deleted due to the massive use of violence, harsh language and whipped cream. Let's listen to some relaxing music and watch these flowers shaking their heads in the slow summer breeze while waiting for this moment of terror to pass.

Yann-kun and Kenuyasha appearing again, twisted body parts lying in the place where the bed used to be.

Yann-kun: Did anyone actually ever wonder why they are called "First/Second/Third Children"? I mean, isn't it, that each of them is only one "Child", not more than one? Or are they suffering from this special, schizophrenia, which causes you to develop multiple personalities...

Kenuyasha: I think, that's what they call "Engrish"... they just have no freaking idea of what they are talking about, so they just talk.

Yann-kun: I am more convinced by this multiple personality thing... speaking of which, it seems to be contagious... just look at poor MyWay. He's completely out of his mind, not even noticing, that he's undressed. Why did we beat him up anyway?

Kenuyasha: We didn't... he did it himself.

MyWay: I hate editors... (perhaps you ask, why i did not explain "this" is in speech and 'this' in thought; and:this- is some doing while having a call; -this- is some seamless doing in a sentence (or something like that...)... that'sbecause i was unconscious!... i can't do double - anymore, BURN QUICKEDIT and leave me a review!)