Timmy groaned as he quietly turned, stomach in knots.

Uuggghhh....

His head was killing him....

The ten year old boy blindly groped in the darkness. His hand brushed against a pillow. The boy paused.

Well....at least he was lying on something soft....

But where was he?

_____

Wanda had not had a good day. In between Cosmo getting severe food poisoning at Wisney Dorld, the rides having an extremely long line, and the press irratating them every few

seconds (Poof was, after all, the only fairy baby in existence), the fact that every Wisney character that came to them was usually beaten senseless by Poof, and, well....

The premiere of Harry Blotter wasn't very good....

"Why do we haffta BE here, again?" whined Cosmo as they sat down in the velvety theater seats. Wanda turned to glare him, pinching his ear tightly.

"OW!"

"Oh, shush, Cosmo. I paid for all your merchandise-we can go to whatever attraction you want later. I love Harry Blotter, and I don't have many chances to see a LIVE

performance! Poof has never seen Harry Blotter either! Have you, sweetie?"

Poof just whimpered. He had gone on quite the crying jag this morning when he had awoken and....seen that Timmy was no where to be found.

Luckily, the room had flood insurance. Cosmo had started, then Wanda.

Well.....they would go back early tomorrow, as a surprise to Timmy. That had cheered Poof immensely, and they already had half a truckload of souvenirs for their godchild.

The room began to quiet down as it darkened......

Cosmo grumbled, but decided he might as well stick with it.

People began to applaud…

The curtains parted…..

* * * * *

Not Fairy Radcliff was pacing up and down the stage, looking agitated.

"Angst…angst…angst……"

What? Wanda glanced at the program. It was hard to see in the dark.

Wasn't this Harry Blotter and the Wizard's Wardrobe?

Nope…today, it was called, Wizard Angst.

Well….this might be interesting. Wanda leaned back in her chair.

Definitely not Harry Blotter and definitely not Fairy Radcliff let out an annoyed grunt.

"Oh, Jiggery pokery! I'm feeling all boyish and full of angst, and I don't know why! I'm going to go take it out on people I like!"

The girly boy dressed up as Ron hurried to the not Fairy Radcliff's side.

"Hello Harry!" he squeaked happily. "What sort of magical tomfoolery are we going to get up to today?"

Harry just glared.

"No tomfoolery today, Wormwood. I'm sick of you and your hideous mug!"

Ron turned, expression blighted.

"Why do you have to be so hurtful, Harry?"

"Ronald, do us a favor and stay on the diet. You've been scarfing down food again."

"You can't tell me what to do! Harry, did you take your medicine this morning?"

"…..maybe."

"Oh, Harry, why so harsh?"

"Yeah, Harry, what's your deal?"

A dude wearing a brown wig trotted up to them.

Not Harry and definitely not Fairy Radcliff glared at them both.

"My relatives are skunks, my life sucks, I can't hold down a girlfriend, I'm surrounded by bloody gnomes and WHATNOT all day-"

"Um, sweetie?" squeaked Wanda, pulling on Cosmos's sleeve. "Never mind. I think we should seriously get out of here."

Poof and Cosmo were now leaning forward in their seats with bright eyes and toothy grins.

"Nope! You said it yourself! 'Here we are and here we stay!' Besides, I like this now."

"Uh….." Wanda reluctantly turned back to the front.

"But what about magic, Harry?"

"I don't care about your stupid-" Not Harry and not Fairy Radcliff puffed out his chest.

"I'm GIVING UP MAGIC."

"But Harry-you can't possibly mean-"

"I mean everything I say, Ronald." Harry said slowly in a deep, low voice.

"Because I'm,

Harry

Blotter."

Needless to say, they had left the theater soon enough.

They visited the Fairy Henson studios next....to the TubbieTele surrounding set. Cosmo was happily skipping about around the plastic daisies while Poof was staring up at the....

interesting sunshine. No TubbieTeles anywhere, however....

Wanda had turned to one of the set workers with a raised eyebrow.

"Oh! Um, hello-we-well, I was just wondering….what exactly did happen to them? The tubbies, I mean?"

"Good question, miss." The man solemnly held out a crushed looking red purse. Cosmo skipped up towards them with a wide smile, but stopped dead in his tracks at the crushed

parcel.

The two stared at it, completely nonplussed.

"Er…sir, what exactly-"

"This, young man, was Tinky-Winky's. You know he used to carry a purse, right?"

Cosmo dumbly nodded.

"Want to know why?"

The fairy nodded again.

"Well, you see, Tinky Winky was named by the diapering agency he used to end up as mascot-I mean, come on-what kind of godless parents would name a child purposely to-well,

I digress. Tinky Winky was quite rich. But, he was addicted to gambling, so he lost all he had. Now, he fishes for spare change on the streets of New Orleans."

Cosmo's mouth dropped open. Wanda's eyes widened.

"Tell me more!" she demanded eagerly.

"Well….very well, then. You see, Lala was sent to Dictator school, because she was always bouncing that ridiculously huge ball. Anyway-" The man held out a picture of Lala.

Lala was no longer quite so adorable. She now wore a pirate patch over her left eye, was tattooed by skulls and daggers everywhere on her body, and now wore a very sinister

smile with a toothpick in her mouth and brown and, well, several missing teeth.

"She and her fleet seized the East Coast," said the man sadly, shaking his head.

An awkward silence fell. Cosmo, obviously not noticing, asked eagerly, "Well? What about Dipsy? You know, the pretty, handsome, and attractive green one with the hideous hat?"

"Dipsy? Oh, him. He asked Lala if she actually expected him to cooperate with her. Well, Lala told him she didn't expect anything from him expect for him to die and for it to be a

cheap funeral."

Wanda's mouth went very dry.

"…Okay, I'll bite. How did Po meet her untimely demise?"

"Oh, that. Well, you know her scooter? Well, she was riding it one day….in the streets......"

Wanda, for once, was very glad that Cosmo had started vomiting.

As Poof was tucked in and Wanda went to bed that night, she sighed.

She missed Timmy.

She had desperately wanted Timmy to go, but had been somewhat hesitant. Wisney was for younger children, as was Kidneyland.

But, in the morning, hopefully, Timmy would forgive them.

Presents might tip the scales....

Wanda had to hide a small smile as she listened to Cosmo snore next to his Teddy Bears, stuffed bunnies, stuffed penguins, that stuffed pig that Cosmo had tried to give a haircut

to....and, well, pretty much received a word class lobotomy.

Tomorrow could not come soon enough....

________

Cosmo groaned.

Awwww....Poof was whimpering in his sleep.

"Timmy......Timmy...."

Jimmy? That fudge head?

"Timmy....."

Oh-Timmy! Friend of his-godkid actually.....for quite some time-Wanda was there, Poof had shown up.....good times.

But, as Cosmo poofed over to Poof's violet crib, something dropped in his stomach.

Great....more indigestion?

But, even as Cosmo poofed up a brown paper back, he had a feeling that wasn't it.

Best to shake Wanda awake, even if she DID start acting like a wounded tiger if awoken too early.

Cosmo put on a pair of thick gloves and a helmet.

Only for Timmy would he walk in the line of fire....

Since when did the kidnapper in the film serve their hostages pizza? What happened to good old bread and water?

Well, Timmy wasn't complaining. At least the Eliminator hadn't forgotten the pineapple.

It had been hours since he had eaten. Sue him.

Timmy nonetheless glared at his kidnapper, who was busy reading Parade magazine on the other side of the warehouse.

At least the Eliminator had gotten something right.....