Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note
AN: OMG. I started this in January. JANUARY! While I was in the middle of writing 'The Sixth of June' actually... and then I kind of lost interest in this and have been picking at it since then, but have never really been able to sit down and finish it.
FINALLY I did the other day. I was on a writing spree... and finished like 4 things in one go.... my beta hasn't seen this…. Not sure when she will as there are more important things for her to see when she has time.
So since this was started sooooo long ago, the format will be like that of my very first oneshot "Wounds & Bullet Holes". And what that actually means is:
Matt's POV in normal
Mello's POV in Italics
~Abyss~
CRUNCH. I didn't have to glance next to me to know that Mello had just bitten off a piece of his chocolate bar. That or he had stepped on a twig again.
My fingers were numb, even with the thick gloves, and it made playing my PSP harder.
"Damn."
I cursed as my finger slipped to the side and my character fell off the building instead of jumping to the other rooftop. This time I glanced up when a small sneeze echoed through the stony silence. Near was rubbing at his nose with a white glove; his pale cheeks flushed red. I sighed.
So far this little bonding trip that Rodger put together wasn't going so well. What in the hell was that man thinking making us go hiking in the snow, for one. And together? If we didn't die from boredom, exposure, killing one another (or rather Mello murdering Near) or a combination of the three I would be eternally grateful. Surprised, but grateful.
At least the guide Rodger had set had been approved by L so I knew we weren't being kidnapped and left to die on a mountain slope. Now that would be an amusing end to the story of L's successors, wouldn't it?
Mello growled softly beside me and hissed at Near to move quicker as he had started to get too close. I rolled my eyes. If anything that was going to make Near walk even slower.
"Damn it!" I cursed out loud as my frozen fingers finally lost their grip on the black PSP and it sunk into the snow at my feet. Scowling, I stopped and knelt down in the snow and started to feel around for the lost item.
"What the hell Matt? Why did you stop?" I didn't look up but out of the corner of my eye I could see Mello's annoyed expression as well as his hand resting on his hip.
"Dropped my game." I heard a muffled snort and decided that after I found the game Mello was getting a handful of snow down his shirt.
"You may wish to hurry as the guide is getting further away." Near's soft voice came from a few feet away, apparently he had stopped as well. As if telling me to hurry was actually going to make me find it quicker.
"Why did you boy's stop?" the guide finally called from his position a few yards away.
"Matt lost his game in the snow." Mello yelled back. I grit my teeth but didn't dare say anything. I whipped my head up and looked around after a thunderous crack echoed through the silence. That had definitely not been Mello.
A soft roar and the sound of something sliding became ever-present and all of us looked curiously around.
"Run!" the guide's voice rang down at us and we watched in slow motion as the mountain side began to shift; the roar became louder. I barely had time to stand before a cold white engulfed me and I blacked out.
I thrashed around; I was suffocating. There was white everywhere, a cold crushing white. It felt as though I were trying to swim through molasses and my muscles burned.
Wind hit my exposed face and I gasped at the air, letting it fill my empty lungs. Finally my arms broke the surface and I began to dig myself out of the snow.
Afterwards I sat, breathing heavily, beside what could have been my tomb. Then a thought struck me. Where was Matt? My eyes quickly scanned the all white landscape but nothing stood out. He was still buried. I began to franticly dig in random patches around where I had been, hoping that he hadn't been carried too far away.
The sun reflecting off the snow was hurting my eyes and my hands were soaked inside the gloves I wore, I didn't dare stop. Biting my chapped lips I moved to a new spot and my hand immediately hit something hard; I swiped at the snow and bits of orange began to show.
Matt's goggles.
With renewed vigor I roughly shoved at the snow until I was able to uncover his head and bits of his shoulders. I pulled my wet glove off with my teeth and checked for a pulse and sighed when I found one. Then I slapped him hard across the face. His eyes immediately opened and he groaned in pain.
"The hell Mello?" I narrowed my eyes at him; how dare he make me worry like that. I took a closer look at him and watched as blood slid down the side of his face from a cut beside his right eyebrow.
"Near...he's below me. I think, unless the guide got moved that far....." I furred my brows.
"We can't leave him Mello." Matt murmured softly; one of his hands breaking the surface.
"That wasn't what I had been thinking." and in truth it hadn't been. I was merely trying to calculate the odds of Near still being alive by the time we got to him. But without knowing exactly how long we had been buried or how long it took for us to get out I couldn't come up with a good answer.
"I think his arm is wrapped around my left leg." I took the hint and began to dig by where Matt's left leg should be while Matt attempted to get the rest of himself out. He was right, As soon as I got down far enough I spotted a pale cream colored jacket draped across one of Matt's boot covered legs.
With Matt finally able to move one of his legs we were able to pull him from the snow; his other leg and part of his torso being the only parts still covered. Near's arm flopped limply back onto the snow and I could now clearly see blood seeping out from beneath the white gloves.
"We need to get him out quickly." Matt's voice shook as his body shivered violently; his lips were pale. Together we managed to dislodge Near from the snow rather quickly; and found an added bonus of one of our day packs.
In my haste to dig Matt from the snow I had neglected to replace the glove on my left hand, which was now raw and close to bleeding, I put it to good use and tentatively checked for a pulse.
My breath caught when I found none, but I quickly realized that it was only because his heart was beating so slowly that it had been hard to feel it. I released a breath I hadn't known I was holding and Matt smiled slightly at me.
Near's face was very pale and his lips were tinged a slight blue color; he was cold to the touch, almost like a corpse.
"His right hand is broken badly. It's still bleeding a little." I turned my attention to the hand Matt was holding gently in his own and winced slightly. His entre hand was a sick mixture of purples and blues, shallow cuts and protruding bone fragments.
I rummaged around the supplies from the only remaining backpack we had and found the small first aid kit. It wasn't going to do much but we couldn't just put the glove back on, it would get infected that way and since we had no way of knowing how long we would be out here it could end up killing him.
In all the time that Mello and I bandaged Near's hand he hadn't woken once. With a wound that bad he should have felt it; I woke up with only a slap to the face, which still hurt. We ended up having to bandage one of Mello's hands too since he had been digging around in the snow with his glove off.
Surprisingly none of us had any other injuries, that we could see at any rate. Possible internal bleeding aside, we were alone, had little food or water, no communication and no immediate shelter should the weather turn worse. Because it was already bad. The wind had picked up making the temperature drop drastically and grey clouds loomed in the distance.
"We need to head back." I glanced at Mello from behind my goggles, he had a determined look on his face.
"We'll have to carry Near and the pack." I pointed out, knowing full well he had already though of these things.
"I know that!" he snapped at me. I sighed and stood up, my whole body ached and I couldn't seem to keep warm. I watched silently as Mello pulled out the only blanket we had and hold it out to me; I took it still not understanding why I was holding it. I understood immediately when Mello went over to Near and began shifting him around.
I helped get Near onto Mello's back, his arms dangling uselessly over Mello's shoulders. With Mello holding Near's legs securely I wrapped the blanket around them and made sure it was tied into a tight knot in the front; the last thing we needed was to stop every five minutes to retrieve the blanket.
"Let's get going." I tossed the backpack over one shoulder and followed Mello. I never did find my game.
We moved at a steady pace for what seemed like hours, but was most likely only forty minutes, before we had to stop and rest. Mello's hands had kept slipping and dropping Near's legs so after the sixth time I had decided we were taking a break. The fact that Mello hadn't argued with me spoke volumes about how tired he was.
Opening a bottle of water we each took only a few small sips, we eve managed to get Near to drink some, before closing it again. I looked up at the sky, which had darkened considerably, and was momentarily startled by snowflakes landing on my goggles.
"Mello, we need to find shelter. Its snowing." he made a sound that could have either been a swear or a groan.
"Well have to stray into the woods then. There is nothing out here." I looked around and he was right. If we stayed on the path we would be caught in the storm, because there was no doubt that's what those docile little flurries would turn into.
"Looks like our rest is over." I mumbled. After Near was once again settled on Mello's back we made a beeline for the woods; the large snow covered trees looming over us. We ended up having to head deep into the forest, near a small clearing, before we found a small cave.
I had the lovely job of checking it for animals, or signs that an animal was using it. Not that it would have made a difference, we still would have used it.
"It's clear." I shivered as a gust of icy wind knocked my goggles askew and blew snow down my jacket. There was no longer a debate, we needed shelter now. Around twenty minutes ago the sky had turned black with the winds picking up even more. The flurries had turned into a howling whirl of large flakes and near white out conditions. What a day to go hiking.
We crawled into the cave and went all the way into the back. The cave itself wasn't anything special, just large enough where we wouldn't wake up with five feet of snow covering us, we hoped. Near was placed between us and the blanket spread out across us. This didn't last for long, we would freeze in no time.
Near ended up between Mello's legs, his head resting on Mello's chest, and I curled myself up against Mello's side with the blanket covering us. It was much warmer.
Matt was sleeping against my side and Near hadn't woken up at all. I kept my eyes trained on the entrance of the cave, worried that the moment I fell asleep an animal would attack us.
Even as warm as it was my legs were still cold, my feet especially. I decided right then that if I lost any parts of my body Rodger would live to regret sending us on this trip.
Near shifted slightly and let out a hacking cough; it sounded wet and raspy. It didn't bode well for him. I frowned and let my head rest gently on the top of his damp hair, it smelled faintly of cotton. If I was truthful with myself, I was worried about him. I had buried my feelings so deep that sometimes even I forgot that I didn't hate him.
The snow was already piling up around the entrance; sighing softly I kept my eyes trained on the storm raging just outside the cave.
Morning came all too soon and I woke up to Matt grinning at me. It took me all of three seconds to notice what he was smiling about. I had fallen asleep during my watch last night with my chin still resting on Near's head, and my arms had somehow ended up wrapped around his waist. I felt a blush creep across my cheeks, much to my own horror.
"Aww, I didn't know you cared Mel." he teased me. I moved my head away from Near so fast that it ended up smacking into the cave wall.
"Ow." Matt snickered at me while I shot him a dirty look. It was after all, his fault. I didn't bother moving my arms since I was comfortable.
"Has the storm broken at all?" I asked him.
"No. But it has seemed to slow a little." I bit my lip.
"We can't travel in this. We'll have to wait." I felt Matt nod; his head was back on my shoulder.
"What happens if the storm doesn't stop?" his voice was muffled but still clear enough for me to understand.
"Then we'll have to chance it. We don't have the supplies to survive for long like this." even as I said it I was wishing it wasn't true. While staying in the cave wasn't exactly a good thing, walking out in the storm was an ever worse thing, especially with Near. Matt's stomach growled loudly and I felt him wince.
Neither of us had eaten anything since yesterday before we started this hiking trip from hell. Mentally I took stock of what we had to eat. A half bag of trail mix, two power bars and a pack of gum. The last wasn't even food but when we ran out it would serve as a good enough distraction from hunger.
"If you can find one of the power bars you can eat half of it." I shivered when Matt left my side, the blanket falling to my waist. I took the opportunity to shift, my lower half having long ago gone numb from sitting.
By the time Matt came back Near's shivering was more pronounced and his breathing was a little erratic. Peering down I noted that his lips were slightly parted and his face flushed, as though he had a fever.
"He doesn't look so good." Matt commented as he settled beside me again, the power bar open and almost a third of it gone.
"No, he doesn't."
Mello's eyes darkened and I recognized that look. It was the one he always got when he was worried about something. I was certain that he didn't think anyone would notice, but after spending all my time with him it wasn't hard to read him. I placed chilled fingers on Near's forehead and they were instantly warmed. I repeated the process with my own forehead but my fingers stayed cool.
"He definitely has a fever. And a high one." I watched as his lips turned downward into a slight frown. He opened his mouth to say something and I shoved his half of the power bar into his mouth. He stared at me in shock and I couldn't help but crack a smile.
"Eat. Worrying about him won't fix the problem." He avoided my gaze after that and I knew I had been right. I wondered if even he knew how deep his own feelings for Near went. With nothing else to do now that Mello was ignoring me, my gaze shifted to the problem outside. What Mello said was correct, we couldn't travel in this. Just the same as we couldn't last more than another day in the cave without more supplies.
The wind howled in response and a gust of wind swirled angrily around the inside of the cave bringing white flakes and leaving them to rest in our hair and on the blanket. Near coughed and a thin line of red dripped from his open mouth.
I pushed my goggles away from my eyes to make sure I wasn't seeing things, and to my own disappointment I hadn't been. It could be caused by infection setting into his hand, or worse, pneumonia.
The real question was, do I tell Mello? His blue eyes were once again on Near, and in that moment I knew he would never forgive me if I withheld this from him. I was saved from telling Mello when Near coughed again and more blood spilled from his mouth, this time Mello caught it.
"What the hell?" he shifted his position so that he had a better view of Near's mouth and the blood dripping from it. Worried blue eyes met my own.
"Infection shouldn't have set in this quickly... was he sick before the avalanche?" he asked quietly. This wasn't something I had even considered. Thinking back, Near had looked flushed during the hike, even sneezing.
"If he was sick before, it could have progressed into something far worse." I mumbled. If that was the case, we would have far less time to wait for rescuers to find us. It didn't help that things would be slowed, possibly even stopped, because of the snow. So it probably wasn't a matter of hours but days before we could be found, if at all.
Near defiantly couldn't make it that long if his current stage was anything to go by. And from the look on Mello's face, he knew that too. The wind howled again as a reminder that we couldn't just go walking off into the storm.
But the longer we waited, the sicker Near would get and the weaker we would get. There wasn't even enough food for one person never mind three. My stomach was still rumbling from it meager meal of half a power bar.
We really were in a bad situation.
I shivered again and curled closer to Mello's warmth. Though the warmth might actually have been coming from Near. He was burning up. I watched as Mello flicked the empty power bar wrapper away from himself and pulled the blanket higher.
We were both silent for a long while, just watching and listening to the storm. It was raging, as strong as ever, outside. The blanket did little to keep us warm.
Near let out a few more wet sounding coughs, but thankfully there wasn't anymore blood accompanying it this time. At least I assumed that was a good thing. I helped Mello force more water into Near's system, though I wasn't sure how much good that would actually do; we were almost out.
I wasn't sure how, as I couldn't seem to stop shivering anymore, but I fell asleep. Or passed out, either way, the next time I opened my eyes it was much lighter out. A new day.
I had watched the storm all night, having found that I couldn't sleep. There were just too many things whirling around in my mind. All of them involving our situation.
We were almost out of water, were practically freezing to death, and Near had god knew what wrong with him. If we hadn't been forced on this damn hiking trip none of this would be happening right now and I could still pretend I hated Near.
But right now, with him so very feverish and in my arms, I couldn't fool myself.
And I think Matt suspected something, though it was a relief that he didn't say anything. My stomach rumbled painfully and Matt shifted from my side again. I turned to see him digging around the pack and pulling out the trail mix.
"Matt we have to save it." Matt shook his head and I narrowed my eyes. "Mello, we won't even be able to move soon if we don't eat something, you included. We may not have many supplies, but we can't ration them." I didn't argue. I couldn't. Because he was right.
"I can always go out and search for food if we need it." that however, I completely disagreed with. It was whiteout conditions and there was no way I was letting him go out there alone.
But the more I thought on it. We couldn't stay here another day or two, as it didn't look like the storm was going to pass anytime soon, we just didn't have the supplies. "Don't worry so much Mello, whatever you decide will be the right choice." I wished I had as much faith in myself as Matt seemed to have in me.
As the day wore on, so did the storm. Without so much as a hint at it dying down.
It was around dusk that I made my decision. With Near getting worse we had no choice but to leave the shelter of the cave, and I told Matt as much.
"That's ok. It was freezing in here anyway." I rolled my eyes at him and groaned after I stood up. My muscles were tight and ached with any little movement I made. I was sure that Matt was no better off.
"Do you want me to carry him?" I shook my head and Matt sighed before helping me with Near. Once everything was settled we said our goodbyes to the cave and waded out into the white abyss. Upon stepping outside I quickly shut my eyes against the onslaught of snow and was startled when Matt grabbed my arm.
I could hardly see anything, just how were we supposed to get back to the main trail when I couldn't even see a few feet in front of myself?
I watched as Mello squinted his eyes, the snow catching and sticking to his eyelashes. I gently took hold of his arm and he jumped; his expression hopeless. He couldn't see in the storm, and I couldn't remember the way out.
With my free hand I tugged my goggles from my head and placed them on Mello.
"I hope you remember the way back." I shouted over the roaring storm. With a small smile he nodded. Now that I could hardly see anything I held onto Mello as though he was a life line, and in a way I guess he was.
If I thought the inside of the cave had been cold then this was one million times worse. In only a few minutes I could hardly tell if I was still holding onto Mello or not, my hands were so numb. Together we stumbled in the snow east of the cave, in the direction of the pathway we had left yesterday.
It was nowhere near easy, not that we had thought it would be, the wind constantly seeking to push us down. My feet were numb and pins and needles ran along the length of my legs. At least if we died out here, I supposed, we wouldn't feel it.
I had no idea for how long we traveled, I don't think Mello knew either. It could have been minutes or hours... but to us, it felt like days.
The wind gradually began to die down, and we could finally see our surroundings in the moonlight. We were right in the middle of what I would call a path. There were trees on either side of us and we were on level ground; the kind that could have only been man made.
"Mello does this look familiar to you?" I felt like I could hardly breathe, I was so cold and it hurt to talk. I watched as Mello bit his lip looking uncertain. That alone would have been answer enough.
"I didn't pay any attention when we first walked up here. I don't... I don't know where we are. I think the storm pushed us in a different direction." he sounded lost, almost hopeless.
"That might have been a good thing. We could have gone diagonally instead of straight like you planned. We could be closer now." Mello nodded but seemed to be beating himself up about getting us off track.
Honestly, he did better than I think most would have. He got us to a clearing, something we could actually follow. I wish he would just accept that. Mello seemed to be having trouble keeping his grip on Near, and the way his fingers moved made me believe he couldn't even feel them anymore.
"Mello let me carry him for a while, you're about to drop." Mello hesitates for a moment but didn't really put up a fight, and the way he's moving, and trying not to shift the wrong way suggests back pain. I don't know how long either of us can keep this up.
"Matt, he's breathing very shallowly..." Mello looks up at me worriedly, his fingers pressed to Near's pulse, and I knew that we have almost run out of time.
The look on Matt's face doesn't reassure me in the least, and now more than ever I am... afraid.
We took a short break, huddled together for warmth, and divided the last power bar in half. We didn't stay on the ground for long, just long enough to gain back a little strength. I had half a mind to take Near again, but Matt made sure that he was carrying him.
It was probably for the best...
"Matt, I don't know which way is right... we could be heading up rather than down..." the ground was level so far, and I had no idea which way to go. It was very frustrating, and it seemed so very hopeless.
"It's fine Mel, we're at least on a path and not in the forest. We can be spotted from here. I trust you." I wish he wouldn't use words like trust. Because I didn't trust myself, not with our lives, not in this situation.
"Alright..." I whispered. There was nothing else we could do. We just had to keep following it... and... and pray we were found before we dropped.
I kept a loose hold on Matt's arm, enough to make sure we didn't stray from each other. It also served to keep us both balanced.
During our walk, it seemed like one moment it was night, and the next the sun was slowly rising into the sky. And with it, a little bit of warmth. But I think that actually made it worse. Matt was shivering so hard I was surprised he could walk at all, and I was getting there.
We were nearing our limits, and soon I wasn't even sure if we would be able to continue. I hated to think that... I really did.
Matt suddenly stops. "Do you hear that?" I stopped with him and we were both silent for a few moments. I didn't hear anything. Was this kind of like a mirage in the desert? Was he getting delirious, loosing it?
But then, ever so faintly, I heard something. My eyes widened.
"A helicopter!" Matt shouted. He was right, and though I couldn't be sure, it almost sounded like it was headed our way. "Matt!" I gently tugged on his arm and suddenly we were both practically running, more like stumbling, down the path.
My heart sped up and everything ached, but I couldn't hold in a small sob of relief as the red search and rescue chopper came into view. Well, I assumed it was a search and rescue chopper, it was so high into the sky...
Would that make it harder for us to be seen? I couldn't remember, all my knowledge seemed to have washed away with the storm.
"Hey!" we were suddenly shouting, using the last of our energy jumping, yelling and waving our arms. Me more than Matt as he was holding onto Near. For a moment it almost looked like the chopper was going to pass over us, leave, but it turned and landed a little further down the path.
The choppers blades kicked up snow and sending cold air swirling around us, but as Matt looked at me, we were both smiling.
Matt's legs unexpectedly buckle and he falls to his knees. I kneel down but he continues to smile at me. "I'm alright. I just can't stand anymore."
"We've been looking for you boys for days." one of the men says as they run towards us, blankets and medical bags in tow. I had no doubt they have been, probably on L's orders. But at the moment, I didn't care who ordered the search.
"You boys look remarkably well for spending a few days out here in that storm." that wasn't true, Near was not well at all. And yet I as I opened my mouth to say something, it was as though all my thoughts fled. I couldn't seem to speak, couldn't form the words I wanted to say.
"Take a look at Near, we think he may have been sick before the trip started and-"
Matt seemed to have understood as he took over for me and explained everything about Near, and what happened to us. The rescuers seem a little surprised at our story. And really, we have been lucky.
"Alright, let me just take him." Near was gently settled into one of the men's arms and the other one helped Matt to his feet and we were led to the chopper. Near is given a quick check and I can tell that it's not good by the expression the man is wearing.
"From everything you've told me, and what I'm hearing from his chest, I'm a little surprised he's alive..." I felt my mouth go completely dry. He was that close to death. Near was...
A soft thud broke my thoughts and my stomach bottomed out at the sight of Matt lying unconscious in the snow just feet from the chopper. "Matt!" my voice is hoarse and it hurt to say anything.
"We need to go, these boys all need medical treatment right now." I was pulled into the chopper and Matt was carried on. He was so pale. Why hadn't I noticed that before?
I wasn't going to lose them, was I?
The ride to the hospital was a blur, as was everything else for the next few days. I had apparently ended up passing out like Matt had. Our bodies had been so dehydrated, cold and exhausted that we just couldn't handle anymore.
Matt ended up with a small concussion, and a few frost bite patches on his legs, but was otherwise fine. I had mild frostbite on my fingers, nothing that would cause them to be lost thankfully.
My hands had to be wrapped but it was a small price to pay. We had been at the hospital for a few days, I wasn't sure how many, but Matt and I were being discharged today, and I had yet to see Near. I knew I shouldn't be visiting him, but I just wanted... I needed to see he was alright.
I walked in, and stopped short. He looked so pale, so very fragile, that he almost blended in with the blankets. I took the seat by his bedside and hesitantly took hold of his hand. His other one was bandaged and the doctors said he was lucky that despite having so many breaks, they were all clean and would heal up nicely.
I had been told that he would probably be unconscious for a few more days so I wasn't worried about him waking up. He also had only a small chance of having been aware of what was happening while he was sick, meaning that he wouldn't know the horrors of our 'adventure'.
It was a good thing really.
I brushed back a stray piece of feathery soft hair and sighed shakily. I couldn't stay. I shouldn't have even come in the first place... it hurt.
Gently placing his hand back on the bed and stood up. I shut my eyes tightly. As much as I wanted something between us I knew that it would never work, I was far too competitive.
Opening my eyes I leaned down so that my lips were only inches from his.
"I'm happy you didn't die. Goodbye Near." I stole a quick kiss, my final goodbye, and walked out of the room before I could do anything else as stupid.
Had I looked back I would have seen him open his eyes and the tears that dripped down to the pillow.
It was only a few weeks after the hiking incident that L announced on television that he would capture Kira. Things had gone back to normal for the three of us, well as normal as things surrounding Mello ever got.
Though if one looked close enough you could see that when he yelled at Near it didn't quite hold the anger it once did. It was only when L died that things completely fell apart. Mello left shortly after refusing to work with Near and I followed him in my own time.
Once we met back up, life with Mello was much the same as ever; hard, fast and very dangerous; though this danger was much more than just sneaking into Rodger's office at night. The only real difference was in how we spent our nights.
Although I knew what I was getting into when we started this 'relationship' it still stung when he calls out Near's name during sex.
The only comfort is in the fact that I am here with Mello and Near isn't, and the fact that after all is said and done Near will be left alone as the sole survivor of the Kira case; because there was no way Mello's plan was going to go our way.
I knew that the moment he told me about it. And it was proven the moment the bullets pierced my skin.
AN: OMFG what is wrong with me?! I swear this was not how I planned on ending it when I started it, and go figure this was actually the happier of the two endings. Damn. Oh well..... Blame Lady Hiroko since I made her choose what type of ending it would be by picking a number. Hehehe.
Though by now I'm sure Lady Hiroko doesn't even remember that... ehehe.
Review please?