Chapter 14 – A Day Out

Brian couldn't move.

He stood just inside the door watching as Lindsay, Gus, and Justin walked away from him into the facility. He literally could not move. His feet were glued to the rough surface beneath them as sensory overload hit him.

Brian's eyes could barely take in the scene. In the air above his head, giant pipes painted in primary colors twisted through the air. A huge structure with rope stairs, ramps, and slides was off to the left. The smell of chlorine assaulted his nostrils, making them flare in reaction. The humidity and heat instantly covered him in a thin film of sweat. The screaming children, loud rock music, and running water combined into a cacophony through which his ears couldn't isolate a single sound.

Brian had never been to an indoor water park before. The Kinneys had not done things like amusement parks when he was growing up. He'd heard of them, but had never imagined this.

As he stood, trying to get his feet to move, an overweight balding man in a too tight pair of swim trunks decorated with Hawaiian flowers walked by him, eating a giant cinnamon roll. Brian suddenly found himself backing up towards the Splashing Fun Water Park exit.

Justin glanced over his shoulder just in time to see Brian start to move. "Oh, no! Go get him, Gus."

Gus went racing after his father, taking his hand and pulling him into the park. Justin arrived just in time to hear Brian's, "Sorry, Sonny-boy, I had a vision of the future and it made me run in horror. Pure fight or flight reflex," Brian gave a mock shudder. "It's under control now." Gus clearly didn't understand his father, but the reassuring smile Brian gave him sent the boy racing towards his mother.

Justin suspicious gaze caught Brian's eyes. "What exactly was in this vision?"

"Endless days like today, stretching into eternity before us."

"You shit!" Seriously annoyed, Justin continued. "What's wrong with today? You're with Lindsay, Gus, and me."

"Not that. I just realized what Lindsay's move to New York really means." The look on Brian's face told Justin he was kidding - mostly. "Endless days spent with hetero breeders. Fatherhood is scary." Justin's appraising gaze caused Brian to snap. "What the fuck are you staring at?"

"That's not enough to send you running out of the park and you know it. What's going on?"

"Nothing!" Brian snarled as he shifted his gaze away from Justin.

Justin reached up and grabbed Brian's chin, forcing Brian to look him in the eye. "I can tell there's more to it than that. What's happening in that warped mind of yours?"

"Fuck off," Brian jerked away from Justin.

"Brian!" Justin's concern caused him to grab Brian's arm and pull him around to face Justin. "Talk to me."

"I can't do it, all right!"

"Do what?"

"This!" Brian jerked his hand out of Justin's reach. "Take him to parks, teach him to ride a bike, help him with his fucking homework. The munchers were supposed to do it." Brian's face was twisted with terror as he shook his head, looking anywhere but at Justin. "I'm going to fuck up fatherhood and fuck up Gus with it."

"You're not going to fuck it up." Justin's voice was steady in the face of Brian's passion. "Are you listening to me?"

Brian glared at Justin, lifting a hand to indicate Justin should keep talking.

"My mother told me once that all the parenting self-help books are full of crap." At Brian's raised eyebrow Justin amended his statement, "Okay, not her exact words but close enough. She told me that you only have to do two things to be a good parent. You have to care and you have to be there."

"It's not that easy."

"Yes, it is," Justin's gaze compelled Brian to listen, "and I know you care."

Brian shook his head slightly. "I was never supposed to be a full-time father."

"I know – just an uncredited guest appearance." Justin's cynical smile told Brian how much he believed that. "But that's not the truth, is it? You care. You wouldn't be panicking if you didn't."

"I don't fucking panic."

Justin smiled at the arrogance inherent in the response. "It feels like a queen out to me." Brian's glare made Justin's smile broaden. "It's obvious you love Gus. You don't have to do this on your own. Linds and I will be there, too. Between us we'll get his homework done and if we can't, you can hire a tutor. Just be there."

"Just be there." Brian closed his eyes for a moment. "It sounds so easy."

"Don't worry." Justin gave Brian a small smile. "If you fuck up, Lindsay and I will let you know."

"Why do I find that reassuring?" Brian opened his eyes to meet Justin's gaze, "I guess we'd better get out there." Brian looked out toward the park, his face transforming as he fixed his gaze on a chubby, middle aged woman in a hideous, hot pink bathing suit. "Even with all that help, it's still a scary hetero world."

Justin started laughing at the look of horror on Brian's face. "I'm sure you'll survive."

Brian put his arm around Justin and started walking towards Lindsay. "Physically, yes. But my sanity, who knows?" Brian shook his head, pretending concern. "I'm going to have to fuck you all night long just to drive the images out of my head."

"If that's what it takes to save you," Justin responded with a grin as they walked into the park. "I can see why it would take a lot to make the image of that pink bathing suit go away."

Brian gave a mock shudder. "Wait until you get a load of the guy in the Hawaiian trunks. The sight almost drove me right out of the park."

They joined Lindsay where she stood watching Gus who was standing with a small group of excited children.

"I was wondering where you guys got to," Lindsay commented with an easy smile. She nodded towards Gus. "He's having a great time."

Justin suddenly had a totally wicked thought, "Brian, why don't you grab Gus? Let's check the place out," he suggested casually.

With a light shrug, Brian walked over to his hyper son.

"Justin, don't do it," Lindsay cautioned.

"Shh," Justin warned, laughing. "It's a once in a lifetime opportunity."

Brian knelt beside Gus, trying to understand what the little boy was saying. Gus pointed upward to show him. Brian looked up just in time to see a fifteen foot tall bucket with a hideous clown face start to tip over. He stared, trying to figure out what Gus was telling him. Some water sloshed over the side of the bucket. Brian barely had time to say "Oh, shit," before a deluge of water came down as the giant bucket tipped, instantly soaking him to the skin.

Brian stood up and glared at Justin as he stood laughing. The look of amused horror on Lindsay's face told Brian she had been in on it. Soaking wet, Brian's obvious irritation caused Justin to laugh harder and Lindsay to start backing away. A moment later, a sound broke through Brian's annoyance - Gus' laughter. Delighted with the soaking, Gus jumped up and down and grabbed Brian's hand to get his attention. "Mommy and Justin are dry."

"That's true. It's not right, is it?" Brian asked, "So how do we get them wet?"

Gus thought for a moment, "Hugs."

Brian nodded, "Not bad. Any other ideas?"

Gus grinned, seeing the opportunity to get what he wanted. "Wave pool."

"Let's do it."

With that, Brian set Gus down, took his hand and the two of them ran over to Lindsay and Justin, hugging them over their laughing protests. Then Gus grabbed Lindsay and Justin's hands started pulling them over to the wave pool.

The day that followed was simplicity itself - a family day at the park. Nothing unusual happened that day, nothing to mark it different than all the other days that make up a life. And yet, there are days where the simple becomes profound, the ordinary - extraordinary. Days on which decisions are made, and lives change forever.

The day at the water park was one of those days. When Brian looked back at it in later years, he would recall mental pictures, snapshots. Justin laughing as the giant bucket of water tipped. Lindsay's scream as they went down the Cyclone together. Gus riding on Lindsay's back in the wave pool. The expression on Justin's face as he got hit by the giant water gun Brian helped Gus shoot. Gus' delight as Justin taught him to swim. Gus falling asleep in Brian's arms as they left the park.

Ordinary moments, every one.

And yet, they marked Brian's first family outing. He'd done similar things before, but even with his own family, he had been an outsider. He'd gone to parks with Michael and Deb. He'd been welcome, but it wasn't his family, it was Michaels. He had never really understood, never felt the emotions that run under such days.

For Lindsay and Justin, the day was magical. Brian was the man they had always known he could be - witty, sarcastic, arrogant, sexual, but also intensely loyal and loving to those few who had his absolute trust.

For Brian, although he could never articulate why, the day was something more. At the water park, for the first time, Brian wasn't the outsider. He was the center. They needed him. And the emotions that had threatened to overwhelm him in the morning returned and settled in to stay. On that day, a family was born. It would change and grow over the years, but the heart of it began at the Splashing Fun Water Park, when Brian decided that he not only could, but would, be a full-time father.

And an ordinary day became extraordinary.