Chapter 15 – Fatherhood

"What do you want?"

Brian coolly observed the dying man as he entered the hospital room. "Nice to see you, too, Craig." Brian was dressed to kill in an Armani suit, striped shirt, red tie, and designer overcoat. "I heard you were sick and thought I'd drop by."

"To gloat, no doubt." Craig lay back on the hospital bed, a shadow of the man he had been. The chemotherapy and radiation treatments had taken a toll. Pale skin and thinned hair told the tale of Craig's treatment regime.

"Oh, absolutely," Brian gave a lethal smile. "I also had this hope, unfortunately unfulfilled, that the mere sight of me would kill you off before your son drops by for a visit."

"Justin's coming? Why?"

Brian casually took off his coat and threw it over a chair before answering. "Two reasons, really. Molly asked him to and, although he won't admit it, I believe he wants to try for a deathbed reconciliation." There was no hint in Brian's voice of his fury at Justin's decision to visit his father. Brian had done his damnedest to dissuade Justin, but the blond had simply distracted him repeatedly. Justin was now at Michael's, working on Rage, but Brian expected him to arrive at the hospital within the hour.

Craig looked thoughtful for a moment before asking, "Why are you here? I don't think you're here to make nice."

"Definitely not. You're not my type." Brian's grimace showed his distaste for Craig. "I thought that if you had some warning Justin was coming, you might decide not to be a complete asshole this time."

"How I deal with Justin is none of your goddamned business."

"Not true. Every time you deal with Justin, I get to pick up the pieces."

"Everything I've ever done, Justin caused with his depraved lifestyle."

Craig's rationalization irritated the hell out of Brian. "In the years I've known Justin, you've thrown him out of his home, had him arrested and tried to kill me, you sanctimonious bastard." Craig flinched at Brian's tone. "You're quite the father."

"What the hell do you know about being a father?" Craig snarled.

"More than you. I finished raising your son and have one of my own. I do know this is your last chance," Brian grimly informed Craig, "because your son won't be back."

"He's not my son. He hasn't been my son since he started sinning with you. You're both going to burn in hell."

"Christ!" Brian's disgust forced Craig to look at him. "What is it with you people and hell? Do you know what God's thinking? Does he speak to you?" Brian's face twisted with contempt. "I'll tell you one thing, Craig - if I were you I wouldn't be worrying about Justin's soul, I'd be worrying about your own."

"What? I've done nothing wrong."

"Remember cheating on your wife? How about driving your car into mine? You have a pretty damned flexible definition of wrong."

"I confessed my sins. God forgives me."

"Makes it so fucking easy, doesn't it?" Contempt laced Brian's every word. "You don't have to deal with the real people you hurt, just some almighty God who's guaranteed to forgive you."

Craig opened his mouth to respond, but started gagging instead. Brian looked on dispassionately for a moment before going to the side table, pouring some water and passing it to Craig.

Brian watched as Craig drank. "The nausea's the worst."

"How would you know?" Craig asked as he relaxed back against the cushions.

"Guess." Disdain laced Brian's tone.

Craig looked curious. "What kind?"

"Testicular."

Craig started to chuckle at Brian's response.

"I can see where you'd find it ironic," Brian smiled thinly, "but, unlike you, I'm cured."

Craig's laughter cut off abruptly at Brian's pointed statement. "You really are a bastard, aren't you?"

"Only with people that really matter." Brian shot back sarcastically, taking the cup from Craig, set it back on the table and took a deep breath, "Justin will be here soon. You lose this chance, it won't come back."

"I lost Justin a long time ago. I have nothing left to lose except my soul by allowing his homosexuality." Craig's face hardened with determination. "I'm dying. That's not going to happen."

Brian started to move towards the door. "I don't know why I bother. People like you can't change." He started to open the door when he suddenly turned around. "Actually, I do know. I did it for your son. He's the type of person who tries to save his sick fuck of a father even if he has no reason to do so. I would have let you rot. And we both know you wouldn't help him. Guess that makes Justin a better man than both of us." With that, Brian exited the room.

Justin sat at the counter in Michael's shop, sketching. "What if we have J. T. temporarily develop some super-abilities? It'd drive Rage nuts. We'd need two bad guys to fight, but that shouldn't be hard. J.T. could save Rage."

Michael responded from where he stood cleaning. "Sounds like my kind of fun." He set down his rag and walked over to Justin. "I miss working like this. If we set up a couple of large screens and web-cams, we could keep working after you get back to New York. We haven't made much progress in the last couple of months."

"I like it, but just be warned, the next couple of months are going to be pretty busy. Finding a new place for Brian and me; helping Lindsay and Gus settle in." Justin set down his pencil, face serious. "Have you talked to Mel since Lindsay left?"

"Yeah. She agrees with Linds that it's over. She said that they were either not speaking to avoid fighting, or fighting. She didn't sound angry - just tired." Michael's face broke out into a smile. "She can't practice law in Toronto. She's not making enough so she's coming back to Pittsburgh. She and JR are coming home."

"Michael, that's great! You'll get to see JR all the time." Justin frowned suddenly. "Does she know Lindsay's moving to New York?"

"Yeah, but I think she might try to talk Lindsay out of it. She wants to be able to see Gus."

"Shit. Brian's really looking forward to seeing Gus all the time. So am I." Justin picked up his pencil with a sigh, "Brian won't force the issue. He'll just say that Lindsay has to decide."

"He'd be right." Michael reached over to touch Justin's hand lightly. "I just wanted to say that I'm glad Brian's moving to New York. He hasn't been himself since you left." Michael grinned. "Let me rephrase that - he's been too much by himself."

"Thanks." Justin's huge smile lit up his face. "It means a lot for you to say that." Justin looked at the clock. "Well, if I'm going to leave tomorrow, guess I'd better go visit my father."

"Why are you bothering?" Michael asked curiously.

"Because I'll regret it if I don't give it one last try." Justin shook his head. "It's hopeless, but I guess I still have a little hope left." Justin stood up and gave Michael a hug before starting for the door. "I'll talk to you after I get back to New York."

Justin exited the cab with a painting in hand and walked to the entrance of the hospital, surprised at the sight that greeted him. "Brian, what are you doing here?"

"You didn't think I'd miss the show, did you?" Brian smirked, making light of his presence at the hospital.

Justin smiled, shaking his head. "Of course not, but I wish I could." He looked at the entrance and sighed. "I guess I'd better go do this. Brian, could you stay out while I talk to him? The sight of you would probably set him off."

"Whatever you want."

Justin knocked on Craig's door before sticking his head in. "Is it all right if I come in?" At Craig's nod, Justin walked in, taking in the plain walls, the lack of flowers and his father's emaciated figure. "I thought I'd say hi before I head back to New York."

"What's that?" Craig asked, pointing at the painting in Justin's hand.

"Something I painted that I thought you'd like." Justin pulled the protective covering off the painting revealing an image of Molly, sitting under a tree on a beautiful day.

"It's beautiful. Thank you." Craig's words were stilted. "You're very talented. How did your show go?"

Justin closed his eyes slightly. They were going to be civil. "Very well. Mom, Debbie and Daphne came up to see it. Brian flew in, too. The paintings are selling really well for a new artist."

Brian stood just outside the door, unashamedly listening to the conversation, when Molly appeared.

Molly gave Brian a quick hug and leaned in to him to whisper, "Is Justin in there?"

At Brian's nod, she continued - "How's it going?"

"Nobody's yelling yet. With those two, that's pretty good." Brian frowned slightly at Molly's conservative outfit, contrasting it to her usual black and red outfits. "What's with the Pollyanna clothes?"

"He's dying. He should be able to keep a fantasy or two alive." Molly's grin was as large as Justin's. "Shh!" she admonished as the voices in the hospital room resumed.

"Thanks for getting tested," Craig said. "They're having a hard time finding a match."

"Mom told me. Sorry I couldn't help."

The two men stared at each other, not knowing what to talk about. Craig suddenly frowned, "Do you mind if I ask you something? It's been bothering me for years."

"You can ask. I may not answer."

At Justin's cautious response, Craig smiled slightly. "Why Brian? I know you think you can't help being gay, but why him? I had him checked out years ago. He's not exactly…" Craig stumbled on the question – not wanting to be offensive, and not knowing how to phrase the question without insulting Brian.

"You had him checked out just before you tried to kill him with your car, didn't you?" At Craig's nod, Justin shook his head ruefully. "I always wondered what drove you to do that."

Craig shrugged his shoulders, "I lost it when I got the detective's report."

Justin chuckled, "Back to your question. Let me see I can help you summarize the problems. He's promiscuous as hell, twelve years older than me, and has a reputation for being a narcissistic son-of-a-bitch. Is that what you were trying to say?"

"That pretty much sums it up." Craig's eyes were smiling back. "Forgetting the whole gay thing for a moment - why him?"

Outside the room, Molly looked at Brian with wide eyes before starting to snicker. Brian shook his head at the girl and brought a finger to her smiling lips with a gentle, "Shh."

Justin glanced at the door. "He's never broken a promise. He was…" Justin searched for the right word, "amazing that first night together. He took me in when you made demands I couldn't live with. He helped me heal." Justin paused. "He's very … stimulating sexually," Justin grinned at his father's grimace, "and none of that would be enough except for one last thing."

Molly's grin widened at the look on Brian's face.

"What? What could possibly make you stay with that man? Is it because he was willing to pay for college?" Craig demanded.

"He was willing to pay for that even when I wasn't with him. Unlike you." Justin couldn't resist a small dig. "But that isn't why I love him. When you're with Brian, you can't coast through life. He demands more than that. He pushes until you see yourself clearly. Without him, I'd probably be finishing business school right now, pretending to be straight for you."

"Is that supposed to convince me he's good for you? Without him, you wouldn't have been bashed."

"Maybe."

Molly's hand came up and touched Brian's cheek, an attempt to relieve the pain she saw there.

"And maybe I would have died. He saved my life that night. I also wouldn't have made Rage, gone to art school, moved to New York, or a hundred other things that make up the person I've become." Justin smiled at his father. "I like that person. No apologies, no regrets."

Craig's hands clenched into the bedspread at Justin's words. "You should have regrets. What you're doing is wrong."

Justin stared in disbelief at his father's judgmental face. "You just can't get past it, can you? The fact that I fuck men. Is that why you never came to see me after I was bashed?"

"It's immoral. It's a sin and you're going to be damned for it." Craig's conviction-filled voice rang through the room.

Justin knew then that his father would never understand. "I know you believe that I can just get over it, but my world is different because I'm gay, and I like it. I wouldn't change if I could."

Craig's face hardened. "Then you're going to burn in hell."

"You cheat on Mom, and try to kill Brian, and I'm the one going to burn in hell? This is hopeless." Justin's face was sad as he turned to leave the room. "Good-bye, Craig."

The door opened and Molly entered, unshed tears glistening as she stared at her father. "I don't know you at all." Her voice cracked with emotion.

Craig sat up and reached out his hand to his daughter. "Molly, come here."

She shook her head. "People don't tell kids anything, but sometimes, we overhear what they're trying to hide." A single tear rolled down her cheek. "Let me see if I got it all. You kicked Justin out when he was seventeen. You never went to see him at the hospital after he got bashed. You wouldn't pay for college. When you see him, you tell him he's going to hell. You cheated on Mom. You tried to kill Brian." Molly swallowed hard, fighting the tears, as she looked at the father she'd thought she knew. "Did I miss anything major?"

"Molly -" Craig started to explain. "It wasn't like that. You need to…"

Molly cut Craig off "I think it was exactly like that. I don't know you. I can't believe I was stupid enough to think you and Justin could make up." Molly looked at her older brother, tears finally falling. "I'm so sorry I talked you into coming here today."

Justin attempted a smile for his sister. "It's okay, Molly. I had to give it a last try."

"Let's get out of here. I'll buy you a coffee. Maybe we can talk – really talk." Molly smiled slightly as she reached out and took Justin's hand.

"Molly, wait. I want to talk to you." Craig demanded from the bed.

The thirteen-year-old turned and looked at her father. "That's too bad, because I don't want to talk to you. Bye, Dad."

Brian held the door open as Molly and Justin left. He looked down at the broken man on the bed. "Gee, I guess you were wrong, Craig."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Craig's voice shook, still in shock over Molly's exit.

Brian's deadly gaze met Craig's. "You still had one thing left to lose."