Look After You- Chapter Twelve
A/N: References to Elogium and Jeri Taylor's Pathways. Many thanks to Pepper for the beta!
***
Tom was on the way to the mess hall when he spotted Kes struggling with two buckets full of some kind of vegetable.
"Need a hand?" he asked, coming to stand beside her.
"Tom!" she greeted enthusiastically. "Oh, of course."
He took one of the buckets off her.
"So how are you, Kes?" he asked her, as they headed towards the turbolift.
She flashed him one of her standard smiles, one that she never had a problem giving him. In fact, he loved that Kes was one of the only people aboard Voyager who treated him without prejudice, and had done from the moment she'd met him. Someone like Kes had no idea what it meant to be hostile, and for that he was glad.
"I'm very well, thank you. My plants are doing extremely well. You have to come by and see them one day."
"I will," he said sincerely, pleased for her that they were doing so well.
"And what about you, Tom? Are you well?"
He grinned at her. "As always."
They reached the lift, where they found a very bemused Chakotay, muttering something about fraternization. Kes' eyes grew wide as Chakotay explained what he had seen, and Tom grinned when he saw that the look on her face resembled the look his mother used to give him when she would find that he'd yet again reprogrammed another one of her romantic holo-novels.
When they stepped out of the lift, he laughed when he saw that her expression had not changed.
"Kes, it wasn't that bad. It was just a kiss," he teased, feeling like an older brother making his little sister squirm.
"But it's not allowed. People can be so disrespectful."
He laughed again. He really did love Kes' innocent nature.
"Hey, have you had a chance to try that holo-novel yet?"
"Yes, and I loved it. What's the name of those types of stories?"
"A fairytale."
"It was very interesting. I liked going from the slave girl to the beautiful princess at the ball, who falls in love with the prince."
"Notice any similarities with your life?" he asked with a grin, motioning to her 'prince' working in his kitchen, ahead of them.
Kes laughed. "My life isn't that glamorous."
Tom laughed, and put the bucket of cabbage down on the counter. "I'll see you later, okay?" he said, grabbing a bowl of Neelix's gloop in the process.
"Okay, Tom. Thank you for your help."
He gave her a smile, before heading towards B'Elanna and Harry, who were both giving him looks of disgust.
"That's just wrong," B'Elanna said to him.
"Hello to you, too, B'Elanna. What's wrong?"
"You and Kes," Harry answered. "You do realize she's taken."
"Not to mention she's only one," came B'Elanna, wrinkling her nose. B'Elanna really had a thing about Kes' age. In fact, he knew the Ocampan species just didn't make sense to her.
"Actually she's two in a few weeks. What are you guys on about?"
"It's still weird," B'Elanna went on, ignoring his question. "You do know that when you're on your deathbed, and your grandkids ask how young the youngest girl was that you got with, the answer will be two-years-old? And you'll probably croak and die before you have a chance to explain that she was part of an advanced-aging race."
Tom gave them both an incredulous look. "Wait a minute: you guys think I'm after Kes?"
"Well, you have been spending a lot of time with her," Harry pointed out. "And every time you see her, you have this big grin on your face."
"I can't believe you both think that. She's my friend. Scratch that, she's like my little sister. I don't feel that way about her at all. She's not even my type."
"Yeah, she's too clever," B'Elanna remarked.
Tom glared at her. "And anyway, grandkids? I don't plan on even having kids. Ever. Ugh, now I'm not going to get that deathbed scene out of my head. Thanks, B'Elanna."
B'Elanna smirked. "No problem."
Tom looked down at his lunch and stirred the foul-looking concoction, daring himself to taste it, and then immediately spat it out. "Oh God, that's disgusting! What is this stuff?"
B'Elanna shrugged. "Don't know. I opted for the safer option," she said, motioning towards her replicated sandwich.
"I think I'm going to do the same," he said, standing up and heading towards the replicator.
He was pleasantly surprised to find Sue Nicoletti at the replicator, and waiting behind her gave him a few moments to admire her tall, blonde, and what many considered attractive, form. He knew attractive when he saw it; and Sue Nicoletti was definitely it.
Turning around and seeing him, she smiled widely. "Hi, Tom."
Tom's eyes widened in surprise. Sue never gave him the time of day, let alone addressed him by his first name.
"Hi, Susan," he greeted back. She smiled at him again, and walked off, leaving him staring at her dumbly.
Focusing his attention back on the replicator, he ordered a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, and was confused when red jell-o transpired instead. He walked back to the table with a bemused expression on his face.
"You okay there, Tommy?" Harry asked.
"No. I ordered a sandwich," he replied glumly. "There must be something wrong with the replicator," he said, meaningfully looking at B'Elanna.
"It worked fine with me."
"Well, maybe it stopped working. You should check it out." He sighed at his jell-o. "Jell-o for lunch. Great."
He missed the look that B'Elanna and Harry exchanged.
***
"It's been a weird day," Tom mused as he wandered over to the replicator in his room. "Some weird entities trying to mate with the ship, and Kes going through premature elogium. What next, an alien trying to propose to the warp core?"
"I wouldn't be surprised," Harry said, relaxing on Tom's couch.
"Is B'Elanna not joining us?"
"Last time I checked, she was nursing her baby back to health."
"Please don't tell me she refers to Voyager as her baby. That would be incredibly sad."
"She doesn't. Not in public anyway."
Tom grinned. "One coffee," he told the replicator. He swore when the replicator gave him toffees instead. "Something is still wrong with the replicator. It's given me toffee."
Harry's head shot up. "Really? Give me some. I love toffee."
Tom shot a toffee at Harry, and hit him in the head.
***
The next day, Tom was yet again at the replicator.
"I would like a bowl of…creamy tomato soup."
It gave him a can of whipped cream.
Walking slowly over to B'Elanna and Harry, he fixed them both with a look.
"You've reprogrammed the replicator for me, haven't you?"
Trying not to smile, B'Elanna nodded slowly.
He shook his head at her, and looked at the can in his head. A thought involving spray cream and their faces popped in his mind, and he was tempted to re-enact this image.
***
A couple of days later, B'Elanna entered the mess hall for dinner. Harry was working a different shift to her and Tom would be joining her later, and she scanned around the room for somewhere to sit.
She immediately spotted a very lonely looking Sam.
B'Elanna hesitated. She'd recently learnt of Sam's news, and imagined that Sam was feeling particularly vulnerable right now; however, she didn't consider herself to be the type of person who could cheer her up. Yet she felt slightly guilty about leaving her alone. B'Elanna was after all a senior staff member, who was supposed to look out for the crew even if they didn't belong to her division. Although not close friends, she considered her a friend, due in part to their mutual friendship with Joe Carey, and Sam really was a lovely person and just one of the few women she could tolerate. She sighed. If only Tom were here, he'd know what to say.
Dithering for a few moments on the spot, she finally decided to join her.
"Hi, Sam," she greeted.
Sam looked up. "Lieutenant," she said in surprise.
B'Elanna smiled, despite herself. "We're off duty. You can call me B'Elanna."
Sam smiled back. "Right. B'Elanna."
"So, do you mind if I sit?"
"Sure. Go ahead."
B'Elanna sat down.
"No company today?"
"No. Joe and Ayala are both working, and I don't really know anyone else."
"I see." B'Elanna knew about Joe working, and figured about Ayala, but she couldn't really think of anything to say. Wringing her hands together, she tried to figure out how to say what she wanted. "I, er, heard about your news. Congratulations."
Sam smiled weakly. "Wow, news travels fast."
"Actually, the Captain told us in a meeting, so that we had enough time to adjust the ship to it."
"Oh."
Silence fell.
"It must be scary for you," B'Elanna said finally. "Being pregnant, so far from home, and without your husband."
Sam's face crumpled. "It is," she said softly. "I'm terrified."
B'Elanna hesitated for a while, before placing her hand over Sam's.
"You have a whole ship of people who would rally out and help you if you need it," she said.
"I know. Except I don't know most people that well, and it would feel weird asking them for help. And really, it doesn't matter how much support I have here, all I want is my husband."
B'Elanna could only imagine how that felt. "Tell me about him."
Sam's eyes glazed over. "He's Ktarian. I met him when I was in the Academy. I liked him the moment I first saw him, but I could never imagine that he'd like me back, or even know who I was. But he did. And after a while, he asked me to study with him, using it as an excuse to spend time with me. Things went from there. We got married three years ago, and had been trying for a baby for a while. We'd given up hope, and then I got posted here, and as fate would have it…" Sam's voice trailed off.
"You shouldn't have to go through this alone," she said gently. "Nobody should."
"If there's one thing I've learnt, is that I'm not alone. Joe and Ayala are always checking up one me. God knows, they have experience with pregnant women. And Neelix is so supportive. And the Doctor, well, he's so ecstatic that you'd think the baby is his. For that I'm glad, but sometimes, it doesn't make it any easier."
"Maybe…maybe, it's a sign. A good sign. Maybe… this baby happened now to help you get through our time here."
Sam cast her gaze onto her barely-touched food. "I hope so."
"I know that I'm not that good at giving advice, but if you ever need someone, you know, a female someone, I guess I'm here. Or maybe Kes, she's good at this kind of thing."
Sam smiled. "Thanks, B'Elanna."
"That's okay."
"I guess I better be going. The tiredness is going to kick in any moment now."
B'Elanna grinned. "Okay. Good night, Sam."
"Good night, B'Elanna."
Watching Sam leave, B'Elanna let out a sigh. That has to be the first time I've tried to console another woman, she thought. And that wasn't so bad. I'm getting quite good at this advice thing. Maybe I should quit being an engineer and become a counsellor…
"It won't work," came a voice.
She looked up at Tom. Had he been reading her mind?
"Relax, I'm not a telepath. You had that thinking of an idea look on your face, and I thought I'd try and spook you by pretending to know what you're thinking."
"How clever of you," she said dryly.
"So what are you thinking about?" he asked, sitting down in Sam's place.
"I just talked to Sam. I think she's feeling kind of vulnerable at the moment."
"Not surprised. She's not exactly in the best situation right now. Other side of the galaxy, pregnant and without her husband. With the constant danger we're in, it's not exactly the best child-rearing environment."
"Can you imagine having a child on-board here?"
"I can't imagine having children ever."
"Me neither. But it'll be interesting having a child around the place. Did you know that Sam's husband is Ktarian?"
Tom shook his head.
"Their child will be human-Ktarian. It'll be of mixed species, like me."
"I'm sure he or she will be amazing for it."
"I just hope it doesn't grow up with the same social stigma as I did."
"Scarves wrapped around your forehead? I remember. You hated that the kids used to laugh at you."
B'Elanna looked at him, surprised that he remembered such a thing.
"What, did you think I'd forget what you told me?"
B'Elanna shrugged. "I guess. Even though you seem to have a knack for remembering things I tell you."
Tom grinned. "I'm not as stupid as I look."
B'Elanna laughed. "Don't be so sure."
"Thanks! Anyway, I don't think that this child will grow up like that. He or she will grow up amongst adults, for starters. And everyone knows kids can be the meanest judges. Plus, times have changed a lot since you were younger."
"You make me sound so old."
"You've just turned twenty-three. That's definitely old."
"Then you must be positively ancient."
"I take that as a compliment. But, back to what I was saying, there are many mixed-species around now, and many of them have been able to adjust to being part of two completely different races. And their peers have learnt to accept them."
B'Elanna rested her chin on her hands. "I wish I'd been one of those kids who knew how to deal with it better."
"How were you supposed to know how? You had other problems to deal with."
"I guess."
"Anyway, I bet you were an adorable looking human-Klingon child."
"My father used to think so. But then he left, so his opinion became invalid and my insecurities manifested themselves," she said with a deep sigh.
"You never did tell me why he left."
"That's because when you asked I barely knew you. And you were being nosey. Really nosey."
"I prefer the word inquisitive."
B'Elanna smiled.
"So are you going to tell me?" he asked.
B'Elanna shrugged. Even after all these years later, the subject of her father was still a painful one.
"Honestly, Tom, I have no idea why he left. I used to think it was because of me."
"Why?"
She shrugged again. "I was a child. He left. I thought it was because I did something wrong. Or that I was that something wrong. I had come up with so many theories that I jaded myself. Much later, when I enrolled into Starfleet, he tried to contact me."
Tom's eyes widened. "He did?"
"He tried to explain everything to me. But I didn't want to hear it. So I never answered him."
"But one day you changed your mind?" he questioned.
Grimly, she nodded. "When I was drowning, I was so sure that I was going to die, and I realized that I would die not knowing what he had to say. And that seemed pretty wasteful."
Something dawned on him. "You wanted to send a subspace message afterwards. Was that to him?"
She nodded. "A few days after, I tried to send one to him. And my mother, too. But I think they got lost because of the temperament we were in. I never got an indication from either that they'd received it. And I never got the chance to try again."
"That's a shame."
"Yeah. It is."
"If we get home, do you think you'd try again?"
She shrugged again. "I'm not sure," she replied honestly. "Part of me is scared of what he has to say."
"If you don't try, you'll spend the rest of your life regretting it."
"I know," she said quietly.
Tom wrapped his hands around hers. "I know you had a tough childhood, B'Elanna. But I'm sure you were an amazing child, and that your father loved you very much. The fact he tried to contact you, suggests he still thinks about you. And I bet he thinks about you everyday."
"I hope so," she said softly. "Because I think about him everyday. And my mother, and the bridges we never got to mend."
"We'll get home," he assured her.
"I just hope it's not too late when we do," she whispered.
***
A/N: Just a few notes about B'Elanna and her father:
Most of what is said follows on from what happened in "Pathways." B'Elanna's father does try and contact her, and she ignores him. Later, she tries to send him a message. Jeri Taylor wrote this book around season four, and afterwards the canon diverged somewhat from this book. Therefore, B'Elanna's actions in season seven's episode "Lineage" would probably differ somewhat, knowing that her father had tried to make amends and make her understand what happened. But that doesn't mean she wouldn't feel insecure about the issue, and I think not knowing what he had to say would still tear her up, but probably not as much as not hearing from him at all.
Also, another thing to add is that in the book, it is stated that B'Elanna sends her father and mother messages a few days after her accident, but then her ship is pulled into the Delta Quadrant two days later. However, Tom is captured the day after their accident and spends seven months in prison, before joining Voyager so there is a discrepancy there. I will stick to them being pulled into the DQ seven months after their accident.