Look After You- Chapter Twenty-Four
A/N: Thanks as always to Pepper for the beta!
***
In the ensuing silence, nobody spoke.
Their connection to the other Voyager had been cut off, but they didn't need to communicate with them to fathom out the horror they had endured: the Vidiians had attacked them, spreading out fast on the ship. They knew their captain had issued a self-destruct sequence, and in the aftermath, the silence of the other ship rung out loudly.
Tom couldn't quite believe what had happened. It could have so easily been them, and yet in a way, wasn't it them who had gone, too? He thought about his other self, and hoped his last few moments alive hadn't been too horrendous. But he knew that having the Vidiians attack the ship was not the best way to go. He could at least be thankful that there had been two Voyagers, and that they had been given the chance to live, though barely. Voyager was hanging by a thread, and it would take a few weeks before it could be at its full capacity. They were lucky in that the other oncoming Vidiian ships had either been blown up in the explosion, or had retreated in confusion, not realizing that another Voyager remained. Whether they would return or not, Tom had no idea. That they hadn't been damaged or destroyed in the explosion was another thing to be grateful about, though all Tom felt was a numbness radiating through him, much like when he had learnt Harry had died.
He cast a glance around the make shift Bridge. The Captain and Chakotay stood by the screen they had used for communicating with the other ship. Janeway looked as though she had aged fifty years in the last fifteen minutes, and Tom knew that she was somehow blaming herself for this atrocity. The Captain- both Captains- had made extremely commendable decisions during this incident, something which was doing a lot to restore Tom's faith in her, for which he was glad. Beside her, Chakotay had placed his hand on her shoulder. Though Chakotay's faith in the Captain had also dwindled in the last few weeks, Tom knew that it too was climbing back up, and the hand on her shoulder was that of a friend, and not merely a comrade. Around them, other crew members slowly began to collect themselves, and began the arduous task of piecing Voyager back together.
It was going to be a long, hard task, but Tom knew they'd get through it, just like everything else.
***
The Captain ordered Tom to go and help in Sickbay with the casualties. When he entered, he found a frantic Kes, flitting to and from patients.
"Tom," she greeted, sounding exhausted. "If you're looking for Harry, he just left, and is doing fine."
"Actually, the Captain ordered me to help. You're looking a bit thin on the ground; where's the Doc?"
"His programme was deactivated when our power supply cut out. B'Elanna's working to get the main power back up, and she said hopefully it and the Doctor will be back online within the hour." Kes let out a sigh. "There's so much to do, I don't know where to start. Luckily, there's nothing too serious. Hogan came of the worst, and other than that there's nothing more than a few fractures and bleeds."
Kes' voice was verging on slightly hysterical, and Tom placed his hands on her shoulders to placate her.
"It's going to be okay, Kes," he reassured her.
"I know," she replied. "But all of this is just a lot to take in."
He drew her into a hug.
"I saw them, you know. The others on the other ship. They all looked so perfect, especially the baby. And now they're gone…" she murmured into his chest.
"And we're here to live on for them," he said comfortingly.
Kes nodded, before breaking away from his hold. "We better get to work," she said.
Tom nodded back, and together they started working on the patients.
While flitting from person to person, Tom thought about Harry and B'Elanna. He was desperate to see them both again, especially this 'other' Harry. It's not everyday your best friend dies and there's a spare duplicate to replace him. As for B'Elanna, he was eager to make sure that this whole Vidiian incident hadn't upset her.
When Tom had finished checking that everyone was okay, there was one more person he had to see. Or rather, there were two. Samantha Wildman was sitting up on a biobed, with her baby nestled in her arms. She had been lightly sleeping, but when Tom approached her, she immediately woke up.
"Hi, Sam," he greeted with a grin. "How are you and the baby doing?"
Sam managed a tired smile. "We're doing really well."
Tom stepped closer to her, eyeing the tiny bundle in her arms. "She's beautiful," he mused, disregarding the fact that he was on the verge of turning into one of those people who cooed over babies. "Does she have a name yet?"
"I was thinking of the name Naomi. What do you think?"
"I think it's perfect, and so is she."
"Do you want to hold her?"
"Oh, I couldn't. I'd drop her."
"You wouldn't," she reassured him with another smile.
Sceptically, and ever so carefully, he took Naomi from her. Tom was surprised at how tiny she was and how fragile she felt, as though she were made out of glass.
"Wow," was the only thing he could say, before handing her back.
"See, you managed that just fine." Sam said. Her smile started to falter. "It's hard to believe she's mine."
"Well she most certainly is."
"But it doesn't feel right. I watched my baby die, and though I prayed that things could be different, I never expected this. I feel like someone's going to try and take her away from me."
"No one is. And though she isn't the baby you had, up until yesterday, she was still the same baby you were carrying the last year. It's just one, crazy occurrence that changed things a little."
"I guess so. I'm just so glad I got a second chance."
"Me too, Sam."
***
"Okay, B'Elanna, you really have to stop touching my face."
B'Elanna removed her hands from Harry's face, which she had placed on him to reassure herself he was real. "Sorry," she apologized. "It's just a bit weird, you know?"
"Oh, I know."
"I mean, you died!"
"I know."
"I watched you fall."
"I know."
"And now you're back."
"Crazier things have happened."
B'Elanna's hands went back to touching Harry's face, which Harry immediately removed, albeit gently.
"I can't believe you're real."
The two of them had finally found a break in the day to have coffee together in the Mess Hall, one of the only remaining secure places on the ship. B'Elanna felt elated at finally getting the chance to spend time with Harry. She studied him intently, amazed that Harry -her Harry- was back.
Harry shifted in his seat uncomfortably. "Okay, your staring is starting to freak me out. I assure you, it's really me. I'm still Harry." He hesitated for a moment. "Aren't I?"
"You're still Harry Kim to me, Harry Kim."
Harry still looked uncertain. "Are you sure? Don't you find it a little strange that I came from the other ship?"
"Are you kidding? Harry, when you died I was so desperate to get you back that I would have settled for a hologram, or a robot. Hell, I would have settled for a ghost! To get you -who, other than for the last twenty-four hours, is the same Harry I've always known- is an added bonus really."
Harry beamed with appreciation. "Thanks, B'Elanna. Although I admit that it's a little freaky being on this Voyager. I kind of feel like I don't belong here."
B'Elanna grinned. "Well, you do. So what was it like? On the other ship, I mean."
Harry pondered this. "Well, the Captain and Chakotay had hooked up. You were really into yoga. Tom decided he wanted to be a Security Officer, and I was a Lieutenant."
B'Elanna raised an eyebrow. "Oh, really?"
"Okay, not really. It was exactly the same, minus the ship being on the verge of falling apart. It's everything that should have gone right on here. But in the end, didn't." Harry looked downcast, and B'Elanna immediately knew he was thinking of his crewmates.
"It must have been hard, leaving them."
"Yeah," he murmured.
"They would have wanted you to go, Harry."
Harry nodded. "I know."
B'Elanna hesitated for a moment. "Did you see me on there, before you left?"
"No. I saw neither you nor Tom."
"Oh." B'Elanna had no idea whether that was a good thing or not.
The two of them didn't say anything for a moment, both reflecting on what could have transpired during the last moments of the other ship.
"Harry, I'm so sorry."
"For what?"
"For not being able to save you."
"It's not your fault."
"But in a way, it was. I should have been strong enough to hold you."
"B'Elanna, you may have freaky Klingon strength, but the fact that I've been indulging heavily on desserts for the last couple of weeks, combined with the force of the hull collapsing, made it near on impossible for anyone to save me, let alone you doing so."
"I suppose you're right. I still feel guilty."
"Don't," he admonished.
The two of them both smiled at each other, before B'Elanna's smile fell.
"You know," she began, "you and Tom keep dying on me, that I'm starting to think it's a conspiracy."
Harry laughed. "If we were, it certainly would be a pretty big prank. But you know I only ever prank him." He sighed. "We haven't done that in a while…"
"No, we haven't," she replied, wistfully. "I guess things have been hectic for a while."
Her expression suddenly sobered. "Just don't go dying on me again anytime soon, okay?"
"You have my word."
Harry let out a yawn.
"You should go to bed," B'Elanna instructed.
"But what about all the work that needs to be done?"
"Harry, you just died-,"
"I didn't personally," he interjected.
"But still, you've been through a lot, so you're well within your rights to get some rest."
"What about you?"
"I'm pulling an all-nighter. This ship is going to take at least a week to get back into order, and I want to make a good start."
"But I can help," Harry protested.
"No, Harry. You might fall through the ship again."
"Hey!"
"Harry, I need you to go and rest, just for my peace of mind, please? Go to your quarters, where at least I know it's safe. And it would really comfort me if you could stay there for, oh I don't know, the next seventy years?"
Harry gave her a look.
"Tom could keep you company," she suggested.
"Okay, I'm going," he grumbled, whilst trying to stifle another yawn.
"Thanks, Harry."
"No problem."
"Oh, and, Harry? It's really good to see you again."
"Same here, B'Elanna."
***
From his position at the entrance of the Mess Hall, Tom observed the exchange between his two best friends with a smile on his face. The two of them looked content to be in each other's company, and Tom wondered if they had talked about what had happened, and had used each other as a source of comfort. Perhaps Harry had even reassured B'Elanna about the Vidiians attacking, and she had comforted him over his transition. He had fully intended to join them, but upon seeing the somewhat intimate conversation between them, had decided against it, feeling as though he might be intruding. He had always known that Harry and B'Elanna connected in a way that he had yet to with B'Elanna. He had never been envious of that, as he hadn't believed he'd ever be able to get close enough to B'Elanna to achieve that level of comfort. But recently, there'd been a longing within him that B'Elanna would hold him in the same regards as she held Harry, and that he could be the sort of guy she could confide in so freely.
With another smile, he turned around to leave. Watching the demise of the other Voyager had taught him that life was precious, and not to be wasted. It should never be too late to hope and never too soon to live without regrets. But right now, it wasn't his moment to take that chance.