Look After You- Chapter Twenty-Nine
A/N: Many thanks to Riss-uscmam and Pepper for the beta. References and lines from The Chute and The Swarm. And then things go down hill from there... Enjoy!
***
For a while, Harry stayed in Sickbay and watched his friend sleeping in the biobed beside him. After being rescued by the Captain, they'd both been transported to Sickbay for treatment. Tom required intensive treatment, and was currently sleeping whilst the Doctor intermittently administered his treatment to him. Harry, on the other hand, was wide awake. The clamp that had made him a prisoner in his own head had finally been removed, and he finally felt free. All that was left behind was the trauma and guilt of the last few days.
It didn't matter that the two of them had come out of this mess alive. The fact was, Harry had come extremely close to killing Tom, and it didn't matter that a clamp had amplified such intense feelings. If it wasn't for the last scrap of humanity he had had left, he'd be telling a very different story now, and that wasn't something to be proud of. Was this something he could ever get over? He didn't think he could. He had hoped that their journey in the Delta Quadrant would get better, but it seemed to be getting harder as each day passed.
Tom started mumbling something in his sleep, and Harry was sure he heard the word 'B'Elanna' in there somewhere. Harry smiled. He was really glad that Tom had finally come to his senses over her. In fact, he was extremely happy that the two of them had finally seen what he had been able to for a while. Getting the two of them to admit the truth to each other was going to be a completely different ball game altogether, but Harry knew that when they did (and he was certain it would be 'when' and not 'if), they'd at least have each other to get through the rest of the journey, which was more than he could say for himself. Even after all this time, Harry still wasn't at the stage to be able to commit to anyone, no matter how lonely it got. There was no jealousy there. Wistfulness, perhaps. He'd get to that point eventually, he knew he would. But it wasn't going to be soon.
Harry continued to watch Tom, as if somehow it would speed his recovery. The Doc had informed him that Tom would be ready to leave in the next day or so, but each minute was beginning to feel like an hour, and still the guilt wouldn't shift about putting him there.
***
When Tom woke up, he was greeted by Kes looking at him with concern.
"Now why does this scene look familiar?" he said, his voice coming out raspy.
"Perhaps because you keep ending up in Sickbay?" she suggested, almost teasingly.
He swallowed, and found his throat to be dry. "What happened?"
"The Captain rescued both you and Harry from the prison," Kes informed him.
"We were in a prison?"
Kes nodded. "Don't you remember, Tom?"
Tom thought about it. He remembered certain images and sounds, but couldn't seem to connect them.
"Vaguely," he replied.
Kes patted his leg. "It doesn't really matter. What matters is you're safe now."
Tom gave a slight nod, and then something occurred to him. "Where's Harry?"
"Harry's in the biobed beside you."
Tom turned to look, but found he couldn't move his head.
"Harry's sleeping right now. I'm sure he'll be awake soon."
"When will we be allowed out?"
"When the Doctor has finished his final assessments. But I'm sure it'll be soon."
Tom gave a slight sigh. "I hope so. Because I could really do with a pizza right about now."
Kes gave a smile and patted him on the leg again, before going off to see to other things.
Tom tried to think about the events of the last few days. Harry and he had been on shore leave- he remembered that part. He also remembered that B'Elanna had chosen not to come with them. That had been a good thing, he seemed to recall, because after that something had happened… what was it? He thought about it a bit more. An image of an explosion flashed through his mind. There had been a bombing…and he and Harry had been accused and placed in an awful prison. The experience had been terrible- he'd been in a few prisons by now, what made this one different? He tried to remember. It had something to do with pain and anger… Suddenly he remembered, and instinctively his hand went to the back of his head. But there was no clamp there. A wave of memories swept him: feelings of isolation, frustration, anxiety and anger... He couldn't believe that such a thing had been able to elicit such raw emotions, and quite frankly, it was one of the worst experiences of his life. A memory of him feeling extremely paranoid came to him, and he remembered Harry being there, by his side, comforting him. He remembered their talk about B'Elanna and their determination to get out, but there was something else that happened…something at the edge of his mind… What was it? He couldn't seem to grasp it. Maybe it didn't matter.
Thinking about Akritiri started to make him tired, and before he knew it, he'd fallen back to sleep.
When he woke up, he found Harry awake and the Doctor, Kes, the Captain and Neelix surrounding them. He sat up and listened as they talked about Neelix's stratagem, his and Harry's recovery and their neurological implant. It didn't go unnoticed by Tom when Harry squirmed as the Doctor mentioned something about the implant stimulating anger. Another flash hit him then- an image of Harry striking at him in anger, and him cowering beneath him. But it didn't stay long enough for him to get a hold of it fully. He began to suspect that the clamp had made Harry do something he wasn't proud of, and that it involved him somehow. He saw the guilt reflecting in Harry's eyes, but whatever he had done or almost done, it would never be enough to dent the gratitude and respect Tom felt for his friend.
"Come on Harry," he said, standing up. "We're over due for that steak dinner."
Harry threw him another anxious glance. "I guess so," he muttered.
"What do you mean you guess so?" Tom demanded as they made their way out. "It's the thought of that dinner that kept us going," he mused. He began to list off a variety of foods they needed to consume imminently, but Harry interrupted him.
"Tom," he cut in. "Listen to me."
Tom stopped and looked at Harry.
"I- I almost killed you," Harry said.
Tom frowned, only half understanding what he meant. "What are you saying? You're the one who kept me alive."
It was Harry's turn to frown. "I was ready to hit you with the pipe. Don't you remember?"
He remembered now. The whole scene flashed through his head, as did another, just as important moment.
Tom gave him a long look. "Do you want to know what I remember?" he asked softly. "Someone saying, 'This man is my friend, and nobody touches him.' I'll remember that for a long time." And he knew he would.
Harry looked at him, uncertainty in his eyes. Tom knew that Harry knew that he didn't need to be forgiven, but he also knew that Harry would never forgive himself for doing what he almost did.
"So, what do you say we blow a week's worth of replicator rations? We could go and have that eight-course meal we were planning on."
"Or you could come and say hello to someone you've clearly forgotten about," came a voice from behind them. Tom and Harry turned around and found B'Elanna standing several feet behind them, arms folded and an amused look on her face.
"B'Elanna!" Harry cried as he went up to her and enveloped her in a hug. "How long have you been standing there for?"
"Long enough to know that you were planning an eight-course meal without greeting an old friend," she said as she returned the hug.
"Believe me when I say that we would have definitely picked you up along the way. That is, if you think you can handle an eight-course meal," Tom said with a grin.
"Oh, I'm starving. Sod eight courses, I could eat ten and it wouldn't be enough."
She let go of Harry and Tom wondered whether he should hug her too. Thinking what the hell, he stepped towards her and hugged her too, all but crushing her to his chest. A surge of elation swept through him at seeing her and having her in his arms, even if it was only fleetingly.
Behind her, Harry gave him a pointed look.
"Tell her," he mouthed.
He rolled his eyes. "Tomorrow," he mouthed back. Harry rolled his eyes too.
He set B'Elanna back on the ground, and she flashed a rather content smile at him.
"It's good to have you back," she informed them both. "But just so you know, you're never leaving Voyager again."
***
Tom didn't get the chance to tell B'Elanna the next day. In fact, he went the entire week hardly seeing her; their duties forcing them apart. He felt slightly relieved by putting his pending conversation off. As much as he was an expert in seducing and cajoling women, trying to tell someone he cared about how he felt was a different game entirely, and he really wasn't sure how to go about it. With Odile it had been different- they had been young, and there had been no need for a fancy confession. Yet it was funny how working up the courage to talk to B'Elanna was making him feel like the awkward adolescent he never quite got to be.
He spent most of his spare time in his quarters, trying to fix the bracelet he had got her. He'd managed to replicate the relevant tools to meld it back together, but it would take time and a lot of fine-tuning to get it back to near-perfection. And he wasn't giving it to her until then.
Tom turned the bracelet up into the air and watched as light danced off it, casting beautiful colours around his room. Suddenly a thought struck him, and he snorted. He was stuck in his quarters intently fixing a bracelet for a woman, instead of partying in some bar.
His former self would be so proud.
***
B'Elanna wasn't sure how Tom could go on an away mission without being the slightest bit unnerved. Looking at him as he recorded his helmsman's log, it was almost as if the last few disastrous events had never happened.
She'd been slightly tentative about going on this mission herself, as missions with Tom never quite went as planned. But she was looking forward to spending some good quality time with him. At least, she was, until she realised that Tom was wearing cologne.
Every time she inhaled, she seemed to get a whiff of his heady scent, which would have been fine had it not been for the fact that it was making her crazy. She cursed her strong Klingon sense of smell, and the strong need to pounce on him that accompanied it. She didn't think that following through with that thought would work out too well, somehow.
She checked the sensor readings and was dismayed to find that they were a long way from their target.
Of all the days Tom had picked to wear cologne, he had to pick this one.
***
Tom cast a sideways glance at B'Elanna, only to find her still fidgeting in her chair.
An amused smile crossed his face.
"Are you okay there, lieutenant?" he questioned.
He didn't need to look at her to know she was scowling at him.
"I'm fine," she answered, rather haughtily.
"Then why do you keep fidgeting?"
Suddenly, she stopped moving around in her chair and sat up straight.
"I don't," she denied. Her shoulders sagged. "This journey is a little long, that's all."
"Well, why don't you pick out some music from the database?" he suggested. "It might help you relax a little."
She considered this idea, and started rummaging through the database.
He only regretted his suggestion when she stumbled across the Klingon rock music.
***
Almost five hours and one big headache later, they were almost at their destination. B'Elanna had turned off the music, but was still a little sketchy, and Tom could have sworn that she kept throwing him scowls every now and then.
She let out a long sigh. "We've been out here almost five hours," she informed him, as if he didn't already know. "And we haven't seen any signs of those energy signatures. Isn't in time to admit that they were nothing more than galactic background noise?" She asked, with increased agitation.
He narrowed his eyes at her, and because he knew that it would rile her just a little, he answered, "I'm going to keep looking a while longer. Just to be sure."
She gave him another scowl, and propelled herself forward, only to cry out in pain.
Tom looked at her again, concerned. "What's wrong?"
"Cramp," she answered with a wince. "Klingon bodies aren't supposed to sit in a cockpit for five hours straight." She gave him a pointed look.
He looked back at his console. "Do you have a big dinner date or something?" he asked casually.
She upgraded her scowl to death stare. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"Well, you've been angling to get back to Voyager for about two hours now. Just thought that maybe there was a reason." He looked at her again.
She rolled her eyes. Only you, she thought. And this insatiable need to jump you all of a sudden.
"…like Ensign Bristow," Tom carried on.
She looked at him in bewilderment. "What?"
"Well, I've noticed that he's been making any excuse to hang out in Engineering," Tom mused. "Around you."
Bristow's infatuation with B'Elanna hadn't gone unnoticed by him, although he was pretty sure that it was a one-sided affair. At least, he was fairly certain. But he had to be sure.
"Freddy Bristow is a child," she informed him as if he were stupid.
"Oh really? Well, he looks like a grown up to me. Tall, good-looking…"
"If you think so, why don't you go out with him?" she demanded.
"Somehow, I don't think I'm his type. He's not into blonds." He threw a long meaningful look at her.
"Look, he has a crush on me. I can handle it," she said flatly. She furrowed an eyebrow. "Why are you so interested?"
She didn't understand why Tom was suddenly grilling her about Bristow, and she was annoyed that Tom thought she would even be remotely interested in him.
In all honesty, Tom was a little put out by Bristow's affections for her. If she took heed of them, then surely Tom wouldn't stand much of a chance with her. But if she wasn't interested in Bristow, did that mean she still had no interest in anybody?
"Oh, just curious- how someone with Klingon blood seems to live the life of a Tabran monk," he joked, but immediately regretted it when he saw the look on B'Elanna's face.
She bristled slightly then. Did he really not know her well enough to understand her? She thought he did, or at least she hoped so. And had they not had a conversation like this before? She was hurt by the suggestion that she could be easily summarized as simply 'Klingon,' as if somehow her species was that transparent. She cast him a sideways glance, disappointment radiating in her eyes.
"Lieutenant," she began in a tone that clearly suggested that she was pissed off with him. "That is none of your business."
Tom gave a curt nod, and turned back to his console. He knew he had over-stepped the mark with that particular comment, but he hadn't been serious about it. He respected B'Elanna's decision to live her somewhat monk-like lifestyle, but he wished for a sign that she'd be willing to relinquish that. He really didn't have a clue what her feelings for him were. There had been a few signs: the look she gave him when he was playing pool with Sue, her staying in his quarters when she thought he was dead and her telling him not to go when he was ordered on his mission. The latter two had confirmed to him that she cared for him, but for all he knew, it could be in the same way she cared about Harry.
"I didn't mean it like that B'Elanna," he confessed.
She raised an eyebrow. "Oh? Then what did you mean?" She didn't really know what she wanted him to say. For him to acknowledge that she was neither a monk of some sort nor some extremely randy Klingon, maybe. Or that Freddy Bristow wasn't the tall, good-looking person she should be gunning for…
He turned back to look at her, trying to figure out what to say.
"I'm just saying, that you shouldn't have to feel like you're the kind of person whose only choice is to live like a monk. If you gave yourself the chance, you'd have lots of options," he said softly.
She was intrigued now. "Like what?"
He shrugged. "You could stand in the mess hall and announce yourself to everyone, and wouldn't even have to wait a minute for interest. You'd have half the men crazy about you, and it wouldn't be because you're Klingon, but because you're you."
She looked at him as if he'd grown another head, yet she desperately wanted to ask if he would be one of the men in that half. But he had said before that he wasn't the 'settling down type,' although Harry had said…
Tom looked at her intently, and was trying to think of how to say that he'd be in front of that queue, without sounding crude or insincere.
But before he could say anything, B'Elanna interrupted him.
"Those energy signatures are back," she informed him.
Tom frowned. "We must have crossed into a tachyon field."
The ship jolted as if they had been fired upon, and they lurched forward.
"What was that?" B'Elanna asked.
"A ship has locked onto our hull."
B'Elanna was confused, and slightly panicked. "Why didn't we detect it?"
Tom was uncertain too. "The tachyon field must have disrupted our sensors."
Their gazes locked. A ship attached to their hull wasn't exactly a good sign.
As if to confirm it, there came the sound of intruders beaming onto their ship. Tom and B'Elanna simultaneously looked around, but in the dark, it was hard to make out the two figures.
Suddenly the two armed figures stepped forward, and just like that time froze as both of them realised who exactly they were.
There was no mistaking those pasty, eerie faces and the smell of horror that seemed to accompany their kind. It had been a while since they had encountered them, but Tom had hoped to God that he would never see another Vidiian again.
In an instant, he had stood up and dove for B'Elanna, as if somehow that futile gesture would have done any good. But before he could get to her, one of the Vidiians fired his weapon at him, and Tom fell to the ground.
"Tom!" came the shrill cry of B'Elanna.
Pain swept through his body, but all he could focus on was B'Elanna. Through barely open eyelids, he watched as she got out of her seat and backed into the corner, desperately trying to reach for her phaser as they advanced towards her.
"B'Elanna!" he called out weakly. He wanted to do something- anything to protect her, but the weapon had rendered him useless.
His eyelids were starting to feel heavy, yet he looked on in horror as B'Elanna failed to take out her phaser in time, and one of them latched onto her. Without so much as a second glance at him, they transported off the shuttle.
And then there was nothing.