Title: Will You Love Me?
Summary: Éponine and Enjolras weren't friends. At least that's what everyone thought. Their fights were something all the Amis enjoyed, screaming matches neither of them could win. But what happens when Enjolras starts getting curious about her? What happens when he discovers that she is the only one who can help him?
Note: I'm really shocked by the response the last chapter had! Really, I'm so honored to have all of you praising the story and my writing, you are incredible! So I tried to write as fast as I could and here I present you chapter number 2! The quotes used here are by Voltaire, Ralph Waldo Emerson, George Eliot and Mother Teresa. Thank you to my amazing beta-reader Judybear236, who still bears with me! I would like to know what you think about this, your thoughts are something really important to me. Thanks to those who take time to read this, this one is for all of you. Now, where were we?
The meeting was going as usual, Grantaire resting his head on the table as Éponine and Enjolras continued to scream at each other. There were only three days left before the rally and everyone was buzzing with excitement. But in Enjolras and Éponine's case, their excitement meant more passion in their discussions. As Courfeyrac caught expertly with his mouth the pretzels Bahorel was throwing to him, Éponine and Enjolras continued debating about how they needed to approach the government about the public kitchens situation.
None of the Amis would have suspected that something was going on between them. The encounter with Montparnasse was something neither of them had told anyone else about. As soon as they had composed themselves, they returned to the Café, any trace of sorrow or anger forgotten. While Éponine fought to forget those dreadful moments with Montparnasse, Enjolras remembered every night the feeling of her body against his, her heart beating hard against his own, her skin burning through the material of his shirt, the feeling of her lips against his skin, burning it. That day he had been completely sure that he needed to confess to her what he felt. Or what he thought he was feeling. He was going to tell her that he had feelings for her, feelings that scared him and confused him at the same time.
Somehow he had felt disappointed when she stopped him. Had it been a way of saying that she didn't care for him in that way? Perhaps he was just being foolish. He had never felt something towards anyone before, why would she change that? Yes, he found her extremely interesting, he admired her bravery and strength, she was intelligent, somewhat stubborn and witty, she also was…beautiful. He found her beautiful.
For the first time in all his life, Enjolras felt attracted to someone, not in the typical way he did. He felt scared whenever his heart began beating faster when she looked at him or smiled, her dimples showing up, something that he found strangely alluring. She had a childish air, but he knew that inside of her, there was a strong warrior that only he had been able to fight. And he wasn't embarrassed to admit the she would always win. Enjolras was getting to experience what all his friends had talked about; he even had witnessed it in some of them. The way their gazes seemed to be lost as they thought about the mysterious females who had bewitched them, their constant memory loss, or how they would stutter whenever the girl was present. Yes, Enjolras had witnessed it all. But he had never experienced it.
That night, the spark between them was growing with much force as they began to raise their voices. Although Enjolras had tried to ignore the way his stomach seemed to flutter every time her hair swayed around her face, he couldn't deny that he was indeed losing the battle against her, and that bothered him a great deal.
"You can't approach them as if they were animals!" She exclaimed outraged, her hands flying around her.
"I am doing no such thing!" he answered with irritation "The only thing I'm saying is that we need to have a way to control them before the rally transforms into a violent protest!"
"What do you think they are, Enjolras?" she demanded, her voice louder than before "They are not going to arrive to your pathetic rally and start throwing things around, biting and punching! They are going because they want to know if they can trust you…trust them!"
She pointed at the group of students, her eyes burning with anger. Suddenly all the eyes were set on her, Jehan biting his lip nervously as Courfeyrac swallowed a pretzel down his throat with a loud gulp.
"I know that, Éponine!" He hissed through gritted teeth, something that almost always managed to silence anyone else, but not Eponine. "And that's what we are going to do! We are going to show them what the future is going to be like! A free country, without injustice or corruption!"
"Then you need to start proving yourself! Not just words and empty promises" She spat, taking a menacing step forward "You need to win their trust! Without their help, your cause is lost!"
Enjolras groaned exasperatedly, getting angrier with each passing minute. "That's what we are trying to do! We want them to trust us, but sometimes they can barely look at us straight to the eye! How can we help them when they pretend they don't need our help?"
"Because they don't want charity!" she snapped, tilting her head up to see him properly.
Neither of them was aware of how close they were to the other. The Amis were now silent, watching them with wide eyes, waiting for Enjolras reply. They had seen them fight before, a thousand times. But nothing had ever been like this time, the fire in their eyes was burning more intensely than ever before, their bodies inches apart from the other.
"They are no longer talking about the poor, are they?" Jehan whispered to Grantaire, who just shook his head, his eyes never leaving the pair, a grin in his lips.
The Amis weren't dumb, they knew something was going on between their leader and the witty barista. Sometimes, something that left all of them speechless. They had even made bets on how long would it take one of them to realize of their feelings. But that night, their fight had reached a certain point in which they were expecting one of them to kiss the other. They stared dumbfounded as Enjolras moved closer to her, his eyes narrowed as he studied her face.
"We are not giving them charity" he said calmly, his eyes burning with anger "We want to help them. I know those people are strong, they live on the streets for God's sake! Do you really believe me that naïve to think I'm better than them? Of course not! They are a million times better than I will ever be! We just want to help them get out of that hell!"
"Well, in that case you need to trust them too!" she cried, her voice growing louder "You are right about one thing, Enjolras, they are the strongest persons on this world. Some of them try to escape from their life, some of them get opportunities and succeed, some of them not. But you know what? They do it on their own."
"But we care about them!" Enjolras yelled "And we want to protect them!"
The room fell silent. All of them had understood the true meaning behind his words. Éponine blinked surprised before taking a step back, grabbing her bag and running out of the Café through the door. Enjolras stared blankly at the spot in which she had been standing just a few seconds before. At the sound of the door shutting close, his head snapped up. Looking back at his friends, he gave them a short nod before, for the first time ever, turning around and running out of the Café behind Éponine. The Amis stared at each other shocked. Enjolras had practically shouted to Éponine how he truly felt about her. His marble had cracked.
Enjolras felt the cold air of the night hit him in the face as he stepped out of the Musain. Looking around frantically, he caught sight of a retreating figure down the street, her hair blowing around her with the wind. Enjolras smiled, letting out a sigh. He could still amend his mistake. His smile turned to a frown as he noticed that her shoulders were shaking slightly. Please don't tell me I made her cry, he thought desperately. Without a second thought, he ran down the street to catch her.
"Éponine!" he called out, stopping slowly.
At the sound of his voice she stopped in her tracks, letting out a shaky breath. Lifting a hand almost imperceptibly, she cleaned the lonely tears that had begun falling down. He won't see me cry, she thought, raising her head defiantly.
She tensed, and without turning around she answered coldly "What do you want?"
"I-I'm sorry for what I said on the Café" he whispered, taking a step forward hesitantly "I didn't meant to say all of what I said, it just came out."
Éponine laughed darkly "Well yeah, how could you really mean what you said?"
Enjolras remained silent, his feet rooted to the spot. Although Éponine had tried hard to ignore the flutter of her stomach the moment the words had left his lips. Lately, every time she thought about Enjolras, a current of electricity would run across her spine, eliciting feelings she never though she would ever feel. Éponine was becoming attached to the marble-man, something that not even she could believe. Probably, she would never admit to anyone that she kept the photo Pattie had taken of them with her, and sometimes she would find herself staring at it. What would it feel like to be held by him? His fingers caressing her face tenderly? What would it feel like to be needed by him? Every time he looked at her, his clear blue eyes would give away far more than he was aware of, and that thrilled Éponine.
But then again, she remembered that no one would ever care for her. No one had ever had, and no one ever would. She was alone. To Enjolras, she was just a way to be in touch with the real world, with the poor, the ones who suffered the homeless…the ones who were like her. Broken.
She couldn't let herself fall for someone that would never catch her.
Éponine was lonely, because she wanted to be. If you don't want to get your heart broken, then don't let anyone near it. She had learnt that the bad way…she couldn't trust anyone, especially not with her heart. She wasn't willing to let anyone break her, she was already too broken. Tightening her fists, she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She wouldn't let Enjolras understand how much he now meant to her…or how her heart was screaming to make her understand that she wanted him. She would become stone, because no one could break what was made of stone.
The brunette turned around slowly, her eyes dull and cold. Enjolras stared at her silently, her lips parted as he breathed heavily.
"But the thing is…that I meant it, Éponine." The words left his lips effortlessly, and he witnessed how her expression morphed, turning softer. "I don't know if you understood what I meant there. I wasn't talking about the homeless. I was talking about you. How I want you to trust me, I'm helpless here, I really need to know that you trust me. I don't know why, but that's the single most important thing to me right now. I feel lost, and I don't like it."
"You really don't want that" she answered quietly.
"But I do!" he continued, taking another step forward "And I don't know why! When I wake up, you are the first thing I think of, every single thing reminds me of you, of your eyes, your smile. I find myself craving for your presence, I wait anxiously for every Saturday and Wednesday. I don't even care about how frustrating you are during the meetings, because I'm content with the only thought that you are with me."
"Don't do this, Enjolras" she said, her voice sounding desperate "You really don't mean that."
"Please, Éponine!" he exclaimed reaching out to catch her hand in his "Right now I'm only sure about one thing: I care about you, in a way I've never cared for anyone before. And that scares me, Ép, because I don't know if I'm doing the right thing or if this is just a mistake. But I'm willing to give it a try. Just…don't shut me out, please, I need to know what you're thinking. I need to know if all of this is in vain."
She looked up, her eyes meeting his. The warmth emanating from his hand was comforting, and Éponine found herself relaxing to his touch. As soon as she realized the power he was having on her, she blinked furiously and released her hand from his grasp.
"What do you expect from all of this? "She demanded stiffly, her voice low and sorrowful "Why are you doing this?"
"Because I have feelings for you!" he stated, his eyes burning with the passion she was too familiar with "I want to be with you, help you, protect you! Why is that so hard to understand?"
"But why, Enjolras?" she hissed, stepping closer "Is it because you think I need your protection, or your help? I've been fine by myself all of this time, and now just because you are saying that you have feelings for me I'm supposed to believe it? No one has ever noticed me before, and now you think that just by-"
Whatever she was about to say was forgotten when Enjolras crashed his lips desperately against hers. Éponine's eyes widened at the sudden feeling of his lips on hers, demanding and passionate. Despite her attempts of not closing her eyes, she couldn't fight it and they fluttered closed. One of his hands traveled down to her waist and pulled her closer to his body, her curves pressing against his solid body. Her knees faltered when his other hand cupped her cheek, tilting it to one side and deepening the kiss, his thumb grazing her cheekbone tenderly.
Enjolras felt as if his body had been struck by lightning when his lips touched hers. At that moment, every single coherent thought slipped from his mind: college, the rally, the Amis…Éponine was the only thing that existed at that moment. Finally being able to kiss Éponine was like being able to breathe again, finding the air he didn't know he needed. He felt his senses increasing at an alarming rate, the softness of her lips, the scent of vanilla overwhelming and clouding his senses. He suddenly was afraid that he wouldn't be able to let go of her.
The knots in his stomach were anything like anythting Enjolras had ever experienced before, he hadn´t known that she could make him feel that way, and he enjoyed it. Enjolras wanted to be closer to her, feel her in every way. Eponine's hands reached up to tangle themselves in his hair, a whisper of his own name escaping from her lips. If someone would have told Enjolras sooner that kissing Éponine felt like this, he would've done it sooner. But at the same time, this was a new Enjolras, an Enjolras who was able to say what he felt and express it with more than words. He kissed her with renewed fervor when he felt her acceptance, feeling that he would never get enough of her.
As soon as her lips where there, they were gone. Éponine abruptly let go of him, dropping back onto her heels, her eyes wide with shock. She stepped back slowly, her hand absentmindedly touching her lips slightly.
"Éponine-I'm sorry," he blurted out desperately, taking a step forward, but she stepped back "I shouldn't have done that, please Éponine, forgive me."
Enjolras felt suddenly cold, the absence of her warmth had taken him by surprise. But what was he thinking of? He wasn't like that! He was stronger than that…he wasn't like one of the Amis, he had control over his instincts, and right now he felt ashamed. But deep inside of him, he didn't regret it. He didn't regret it at all, because for a short period of time, he had felt alive for the first time in years.
Not being able to look into his eyes, Éponine looked down and murmured "Just…forget it"
She turned around and began walking hurriedly down the road, her arms around herself.
"Éponine! Please wait! You will come to the rally, won't you?" he called after her desperately "We need you there, you are the only one they trust…"
"I don't know if I can" she answered without turning around.
"Please, Éponine" he pleaded, taking a hesitant step "If you go, I'll understand it is because of the Amis and the cause, perhaps you can forgive me and everything will be all right between us again. If you don't come, then…I guess I'll understand."
She stood frozen for a moment before turning her head slightly to one side. Enjolras was able to make her features in the darkness of the street, the contours of her face outlined by the moonlight. This was Éponine, a mysterious creature, goddess of the night. Her voice was barely a whisper, but still it was loud enough for him to hear it. He watched her figure retreating as she walked away, leaving Enjolras alone in the street, her voice echoing in his head.
"Nothing is all right between us"
Enjolras groaned quietly, glancing around frantically as he stood at the side of the stack of boards used to resemble a stage. The clear blue sky was something that made him think that everything would be all right, the breeze warm enough to blow his curls into his eyes. The energy people had was something Enjolras had never expected, the street was teeming with people, from students to people who had received a flyer. But the thing that surprised Enjolras the most was that almost half of the crowd were people he had met during his visits with Éponine in the alleys. His heart was beating furiously inside his chest, finally all their hard work was paying off. The people had come, and that was enough for him. That was enough to show him that what they were doing was the right thing, because these people had come without knowing what they would fight for. They had come because they had hope. Hope in a better future.
Despite the excitement all the Amis were showing, Enjolras felt numb. That night he had barely closed his eyes without the image of Éponine appearing in his head, her cold eyes and harsh words. He had screwed it up, everything that there was between them was now all ruined. He had let his feelings take over his body and now he was paying the price. She wasn't going to show up, and that would be her way of saying that she didn't want to see him again. Somehow, he knew that it had been his own fault, he should've never pushed things with her. God, she was Éponine, forcing her to say how she felt was the thing no one should ever do. But he had done it. Not only that, he had kissed her too.
That kiss had triggered a series of powerful feelings that he had never felt before. And now he yearned to feel them again. The dark circles beneath his eyes testified the lack of sleep, not being able to close his eyes without seeing her, feeling her. And now he had probably lost her, all because he had been too weak to fight his own need and instincts. Éponine had become his center, but not only in his mind or body, but somehow she had managed to crawl under his skin and he was afraid that he wouldn't be able to get her out. Actually, he didn't want to. But at that moment his own troubles weren't of much importance, the rally was just about to start and she wasn't anywhere to be seen. Without her, probably half the crowd would go away. They had been there for her, after all.
"She will come" Combeferre said calmly patting his back in a friendly way.
Enjolras sighed and squeezed the bridge of his nose "I really don't think so."
"It's Éponine we're talking about here, Enj" Combeferre tried to assure him "She wouldn't let us down."
"I know" he nodded.
His best friend smiled at him gently before turning around and marching towards where the rest of the Amis were gathered, energy and excitement surrounding them. Enjolras stood motionless watching the crowd silently, his eyes scanning the street anxiously for a sign of the brunette. But deep inside of him he knew that she would probably not come. She had made that quite clear the night before.
Enjolras almost jumped when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned around, unconsciously wishing that he would meet a pair of chocolate brown eyes, although a part of him didn't believed he was ready to face her again. He almost sighed with relief when he came face to face with the pacific face of Jehan, his head tilted to one side, the corner of his lips tugging up as his eyes studied him with curiosity.
"You weren't expecting me, were you?" he said softly with a smile.
Enjolras cleared his throat and shook his head "I wasn't…I mean, I wasn't expecting for someone, you just took me by surprise."
"I see" the poet murmured thoughtfully "So what are you looking at?"
"The crowd, I think…" Enjolras muttered, his eyes scanning the street eagerly, his hands clamped at his back.
"You know Enjolras, it isn't wrong to be in love" Jehan smiled calmly.
Enjolras looked at him with a bewildered expression "I'm not in love!"
"And I think that's the exact reason why you are having troubles with her" Jehan said softly "You both are too stubborn to admit what you are feeling."
"I've tried, Jehan" Enjolras admitted, his cold exterior softening in front of the poet "She's just afraid of letting me in…"
"Then show her what you feel" Jehan said, his eyes glowing with sympathy. He took a step closer and patted the leader on his back "And now get on that stage and show everyone what we are fighting for."
Enjolras allowed himself to smile back and walked towards the stage. But before he turned around completely, he looked at the young man, his eyes warm. "Thank you."
Éponine walked as fast as she could through the sea of people. Despite her attempts of not smiling, her lips were curved up at the sight of so many people. Surely the Amis would be incredibly excited, perhaps even Enjolras would've…
She felt a blow straight to her chest at the single thought of him. But how could she not be feeling the way she was? The moment she had arrived to her apartment she had let her walls crumble, and all the frustration, all the anger and sadness had come out in uncontrollable sobs and tears. Finally she had managed to fall into a restless sleep, her thoughts plagued with images of blue stormy eyes. Although Éponine had tried to avoid the way her heart beat faster when she remembered the events of the night before, she could still feel his hands on her, pressing her body into his, the warmth emanating from his skin as his lips made her fall into oblivion. The way he had kissed her was nothing like she had ever experienced before, with so much strength and passion. Éponine knew that Enjolras was a very determined and passionate man, what he did, he always did it with dedication. He never took anything lightly. And that was one of the main reasons why everyone called him the marble-man: because nothing could ever affect him.
But the night before he had shown to her that he was just a man. A man who had feelings for her. As Éponine made her way through the enormous crowd, she felt a pang in her chest when every word he had said came rushing back into her mind.
"Because I have feelings for you!" he had stated, his eyes burning with the passion she was too familiar with "I want to be with you, help you, protect you! Why is that so hard to understand?"
Because she was afraid. Éponine Thenardier was afraid of falling. And the worst part was that she had fallen into something deeper than she would ever admit. Somehow, the moment the words left his lips, she had felt her heart leap giddily inside her chest. He cared for her, he really cared for her. Éponine couldn't deny how good it felt to be with him, to talk with him or just read with him. In those weeks she had come to truly get to know the man behind the cold exterior he always put off in front of their friends. He was severe and stoic, but with her, he was different. Somehow, with her he showed her a different side…softer, sweeter, something she felt no one else had ever witnessed. And in a way, she liked that.
It was impossible for her to conceive the mere idea that he could have feelings for her. No one had ever cared for her, no one had ever noticed her, why would he be different? He was just confused, it was just impossible for him to have feelings for her. She was nothing, she was air, she was dust. She was invisible. And if being invisible was the cost of not getting hurt, then she would gladly pay it. Éponine couldn't let anyone get that close, in the end, they always let you down. Yes, she cared for Enjolras. Damn it, she felt something deeper than friendship! But she was stubborn, and that fear was more powerful than her desire to feel wanted. To feel loved.
Enjolras had been clear about what he was feeling, and that was the exact reason why Éponine needed to help him realize that it was a mistake. He was just confused, it was all a misunderstanding. Éponine almost jumped when she heard Enjolras' deep voice booming somewhere near where she was standing. Without looking up, she kept walking, smiling at the persons she could recognize. A lump formed in her throat slowly as all her friends from the alleys approached her or waved at her, their faces beaming with energy, their eyes sparkling with hope. She caught sight of Pattie sitting on a box near the entrance of an alley. The old woman waved at the brunette excitedly, flashing her a toothy smile as she gave her the thumbs up.
Éponine giggled and waved back, winking at the woman. As she continued her way towards the made up stage, Éponine tried to listen to what Enjolras was saying. The crowd was cheering to the young student, nodding and agreeing to every word he said. Craning her neck, Éponine tried to catch a glimpse of him between the crowd. As her eyes scanned the street, she almost gasped when she finally caught sight of him.
"Some will always be above others! Destroy the inequality today, and it will appear again tomorrow!" He roared, his eyes burning with passion as his hands flew up in a fist "And that's our duty today! We have the chance to change our present, to build our tomorrow! All people are equal, it is not birth, it is virtue alone that makes the difference! It's time to ask for what is fair…to better opportunities! For equality and justice!"
He was burning like the sun, his blonde curls that seemed golden dancing around his face as he moved his body fiercely all around the stage. He looked godlike, his blue eyes showing the fire he had inside of him. His voice was loud, clear and penetrant, hitting Éponine down to her core. She had always admired how passionate he was during his speeches at the Musain, but this, this was something completely different. He was where he was born to be, leading the people, lighting the spark in them.
Finally, she was able to make it to the back of the stage. All the Amis were transfixed on the leader's words, their faces glowing with the energy and passion Enjolras was able to transmit. And she had to admit, that he was a breathtaking vision of red and gold. She almost giggled when she remembered the description Grantaire had used once: He is bold as fire, but cold as ice. Dragging her eyes from the young student, Éponine turned to gaze to the Amis, mentally checking that all were there. Confused when she noticed the absence of one of them, she almost jumped when a gentle hand grabbed her by the elbow and began guiding her towards the stage. Looking up with confusion she met Jehan´s tranquil gaze. Before she could ask him what he was doing, the poet was already pushing her up the stairs and into the stage.
"Jehan!" she hissed looking at him desperately.
The poet grinned and motioned her to turn around. They had talked countless times about this time. All the Amis had insisted that she needed to speak during the rally, something she had been strongly opposed to. But as the warm rays of the sun hit her back, she realized that this was her time to finally make a change. The wild crowd was cheering Enjolras, who was breathing heavily near the edge of the stage, smiling triumphantly widely. Deciding that it was a bad idea, she began sliding slowly towards the first stair, her heart beating faster than it should as she began her slow descent. But before she could walk any further, a voice broke through the noise.
"Is that Éponine?"
As soon as those words were heard by the rest of the people, the crowd began cheering her excitedly. Cursing internally, she turned around on the spot, a knot forming in her stomach painfully. She was aware that Enjolras had turned around to see her, his jaw dropped with surprise. Trying to ignore the way her heart seemed to skip a beat, she averted her gaze towards the crowd and waved embarrassedly. With the corner of her eye she caught sight of Enjolras's hand reached out towards her. Tentatively she grabbed it and allowed him to pull her alongside him. The current of electricity traveled from her fingertips straight to her chest, and by the way Enjolras had winced and released her hand quickly, he had felt it too. Trying to not feel a wave of disappointment when he backed up, she realized that he was letting her be in front of the stage.
Éponine looked out at the sea of faces, all eyes fixed on her. Twisting her hands nervously, she gulped and tried to organize her ideas. You can't fail them, they trust you, she thought while a couple of kids waved at her excitedly. She needed to show them that they could trust them, to know that she had been there too, and she had escaped from there. Clearing her throat, she let the words slip from her lips naturally.
"Right now we are living in times when if you don't have anything, it means you are worth nothing. Today, what we want may mean nothing to those who are above us, but change is coming! They have kept us in silence for far too long, and now it's time to demand what belongs to us by right! And that's why we are here today, because we need you!" She cried out, her fist up as her eyes scanned the crowd.
One thing she wasn't aware of was the fact that the revolutionary standing behind her was transfixed, his heart pumping faster with each word she spoke. The fire she was radiating was burning him alive. But he wanted her to transform him into ashes. Her hair blowing with the wind around her, her fiery eyes burning with the passion he had seen countless times. She was magnificent.
"Food is a right we all have! And the government has done nothing but to deny it to us! Public kitchens are needed. Public kitchens are what we demand!" She continued, the crowd bursting with applause "We can never give up longing and wishing while we are thoroughly alive! And that time has come! Together, we can be the change we want to see…we can be the ones who build tomorrow! We might be starving, but we are not unwanted, unloved, uncared for, and forgotten by everybody!"
Éponine stood frozen in front of the crowd as they burst into applause, her chest going up and down, her eyes ablaze, her body burning. The crowd erupted into applause as she tried to comprehend what she had just done, the way her voice had seemed to sound like a cry of battle, the confidence she had felt, the way her words had stirred the people. Her head snapped up as she felt a warm hand brush and grasp her softly. She met Enjolras' eyes, a fiery blue as he bored into her soul. He smiled.
Enjolras couldn't stop looking at Éponine, a smile on his lips. If he had had any doubt that she wouldn't come, what she had just done was something he hadn't been expecting at all. His chest felt heavy, his heart was beating furiously. Éponine had managed to accomplish what they were fighting for, somehow, the people were there because of her. Because she had lit the spark in them a long time ago. For the first time, Enjolras believed that the cause was alive, that everything would turn out fine. They weren't alone with this. As he felt the habitual current of electricity in his hand as he held hers, he thought that perhaps not everything was lost between them. That perhaps she might feel something for him…something as strong as he felt for her. He would fight for her, because he was a fighter. And he wouldn't let the person he cared for slip away so easily.
Hours later they were back in his apartment, the only sound was her heavy breathing as she twisted her hands in her lap. She was sitting on his couch while he was standing at the counter, his back to her. Even from where she was sitting, she could tell that he was frustrated, the muscles on his back tensed as he grabbed the edge of the counter tightly, his knuckles turning white. After the rally was over and the people had gone, Enjolras had quietly grabbed her hand and guided her out of the Musain in which the Amis were gathered celebrating the triumph of the protest. Now, they were both in his apartment, neither of them willing to speak first. They both had been standing uncomfortably at each other's side as the Amis cheered with joy and beers were handed around, not realizing the imminent tension between the pair. Éponine had followed him quietly down the street as they made their way to his apartment, not even glancing at him whenever he would turn around to check if she still was there. Éponine knew that she needed to speak first, after all, Enjolras had made clear what he was feeling, But still, the fear remained inside of her.
"Why did you come?" His voice cut through the silence like a dagger, cold and sharp, barely a whisper.
"Sorry?" she asked confused, straightening on the couch.
"Why did you come to the rally?" he repeated slowly.
Éponine felt the hairs in the back of her neck at the sound of his voice, but still answered as confidently as she could "Because I wasn't going to let the Amis down."
Enjolras turned around slowly, a mask of indifference plastered on his face, his eyes cold and hard without emotion. He took a step forward "So it has nothing to do with what happened last night?"
Éponine stood up and squared her shoulders, her eyes beginning to glow "That's not what I said-"
"But that's what you meant." He stated coldly.
"You are impossible" she laughed darkly.
"I'm impossible?" he retorted, his voice tinted with annoyance "Am I the one who is afraid of letting anyone in? Who tries to hide from the world, too afraid that someone might actually care for me? Am I the one wh-"
"Stop it" she hissed, taking another step forward.
"No, Éponine, I won't stop because you need to know it" he stated firmly " You are afraid of actually knowing that I care for you, in a way I've never cared for anyone before. You know me, you know I'm not one of those who falls easily for someone, but here I am, trying to make you understand that I'm actually feeling something for you."
"Don't do this, Enjolras" she warned, walking past him. He caught her hand and turned her around swiftly.
"You don't understand, do you?" he said desperately "I'm dying here, Ép, and it's all because of you. I'm afraid, for the first time in all my life because I don't understand what the fuck is going on inside of me. The only thing that I know is that whenever you are with me, that burning sensation inside of my chest disappears, it is as if you are the only one who can calm down the pain inside of me-"
"Let go of me" she whispered coldly, shoving his hand away and trying to get past him.
"You know you feel the same I do, you are just too damn scared to let me in-" he continued, his fists clenched tightly.
"You know nothing" she cut him, her voice shaking almost imperceptibly.
Enjolras took a step closer to her, his throat tightening as he pleaded "I only know what I'm feeling! And not even I can understand it. Please Éponine just let me show you, you need to know, surely you must know that this is not a joke. I want to be with you, in a way I've never wanted anyone before-"
"Shut up." She hissed. But he didn't stop.
"Don't you trust me? Don't you believe that I could make you happy? I'm going crazy, Éponine, I feel blind. Why are you so afraid to let me in?" he said, his voice louder than before.
Her body froze in an instant, her head moving to look slowly. Her eyes were burning with anger as she took an unconscious step forward.
"Afraid?" she whispered menacingly "Afraid of what, Enjolras? Of having feelings for you? Of getting my heart broken? Of trusting someone and that in the end they will let me down? Excuse me if I'm tired of being hurt, I didn't know I was hurting your feelings."
His eyes widened, and suddenly something snapped inside of him as he burst out "How can you really believe that?"
"Because that's what I've learned from life! I spent my childhood living in hell, and the only thing that I learned was that you must never trust anyone, because they always let you down! I didn't grow up having everything, with loving parents that kissed me goodnight or hugged me when I had a nightmare, because I was living in a nightmare! So I'm sorry If I'm not throwing myself into your arms, because here's the truth Enjolras, I'm scared! You win!" Her voice was softer, but still it was full with anger.
"So if you actually have feelings for me, don't say it, Enjolras. Show me. Because words are going to vanish, but actions are forever. Show me that you aren't just playing around, that you mean it. And just to be clear, I'm not good at trusting people. But I do trust you" She was breathing heavily as the last words left her lips softly, almost in a gentle way.
Enjolras stared at her, his eyes boring into her with passion. She stared back, her chest rising and falling as tears threatened to fall down. The last thing she heard was a soft groan before all the air was sucked out from her lungs. Enjolras covered her mouth with his desperately, wanting more than anything to close the distance between them. She answered to his kiss with equal force, her hands reaching up to his hair and pulling him down to her. A soft moan left her lips as his tongue outlined her lower lip, exploring every inch of her mouth, the softness of her lips making him feel as if he was going crazy, as if he would never get enough. He slowly but steadily pushed her against the wall, his fingers tangled into her dark waves, a tight groan leaving his mouth as he tried to control himself. One of his hands traveled to her hip, brushing the skin beneath her shirt as she continued to kiss him fervently.
Without knowing it, Éponine had wanted this as much as he had. She wanted him, desperately and unconditionally. He slid one arm around her waist and pulled her close, holding her tightly against his body as the other hand grabbed one of her legs and lifted her up against the wall, his mouth capturing her lips once more. Enjolras did not say anything as her fingers worked with the buttons of his shirt, a groan escaping his mouth after her hands traveled the expanse of his chest, travelling from his stomach until she reached his neck. He thought she was beautiful, the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. As she laid underneath him that was his only thought. How her cheeks were flushed, her eyes glowing as she looked at him, her skin warm against his. She was perfect.
For once, Enjolras did not mind the fact that he felt so powerless, because every time he was with Éponine, he felt like that. Weak. Their bodies molded perfectly against the other, his hands exploring every inch of her skin, feeling the soft texture underneath his fingertips. They had fought and screamed at each other countless times, but at that moment the only thought in their minds was that they wanted the other closer. They moved as if they knew exactly what to do every moment. Skin against skin, they met each other for the first time, his lips searing a path from her lips to her throat to her breasts, lower and lower, her hands scratching his back as his name left her lips.
Without a warning, she managed to roll them, one of her legs flying to his other side as she straddled him. They looked at each other intently, neither one of them daring to look away. Their cheeks were flushed, their chests rising and falling heavily. Enjolras had never seen her like this, all the worries and problems forgotten as she let herself get lost in something, in him. His heart was beating fast, his hands going up and down on her waist. Slowly, she leaned down and kissed his stomach, causing a guttural sound to emerge from the back of his throat. His eyes fluttered closed as her lips traced faintly his skin as she traveled up and kissed his throat.
She kissed his lips softly before straightening and whispering "Why me?"
He looked at her, his eyes hazy but still burning with passion. Her breath caught in her throat as every thought slipped from her mind. Slowly, Enjolras lifted up a hand and cupped her cheek, his thumb tracing her lower lip, swollen by his kiss.
"Do you know how it feels when you ride a rollercoaster?" he said quietly, his voice hoarse. She nodded slowly before he continued, his other hand tangling in her hair "At the beginning, you feel nervous, almost afraid of when the first fall is going to be. But then you are going up, and the wind is blowing on your face, adrenaline is pumping in your veins, and suddenly, you fall. You scream, perhaps even laugh or cry. But when it's over, you just want to ride it again, because that feeling, nothing else can give it to you. That's exactly how I feel with you, Éponine."
With great carefulness, he sat up slowly, taking her with him. She rested her hands on his shoulders, shivering in delight when his hands held her by the waist. Enjolras leaned forward and traced her jaw with his lips, the soft spot behind her ear before traveling to her neck and collarbones.
"Éponine…I think I love you"
For once, Enjolras did not mind when she shut him up with her lips, urgent and demanding. He pressed her against him, their chests colliding and making them gasp with surprise. Nothing could've prepared him for the way his heart seemed to burst when the words left her lips, soft as a caress, yet strong and powerful as a grenade.
"I love you too"
In one swift movement, he had her pinned down to the bed, his lips on hers fiercely, tilting his head as he deepened the kiss. He loved her, he loved her…and she loved him. Perhaps it was just his imagination playing games with him. How many nights had she been in his dreams, taunting and teasing him? But she is there now, loving him in a way only she can. She is strong, she is brave, she is his. He rolled his hips against hers, groaning as her heels pressed into his back, holding him close to her. He just admired at her, the way her hair was sprawled all around her, her full lips parted as she breathed, her eyes burning, her skin colliding against his. She is fire, she is rain, she is thunder, she is wind. He was Apollo, and she was the sun. They needed each other.
He thrust his hips forward, burying himself inside of her, moving his hand at the back of her neck, and lifting her up to kiss her with all the love he was capable of. She whispered his name, holding at him with desperation as her back arched, their eyes locked at every moment. At that moment, he swore his heart could've burst. The room was silent as he kissed her neck, her collarbone, her jaw, her forehead and finally her lips.
Perhaps he was made of marble, but for some unknown reason she had been able to crack it, just as he had finally melted her ice. They had spent their mornings sharing things about books, about life, about their hopes…their dreams. But they had been too blind to realize that their future was right in front of them.
She rested on her stomach, her head turned towards him. His fingertips traced her bare back, traveling up and down, soon replaced by his lips. She smiled and turned on her side, laughing when he groaned. He liked the sound of her laugh. He would make her laugh more often. Enjolras moved his body closer to hers and she did the same, his arm circling her waist trying to keep her close. He was too afraid that she might disappear. But she won't. She kissed his lips once more, trying to prove to him that she would stay. He understood and pressed a kiss in her forehead before pulling her into his chest, near to his heart. Which was now hers.