13 December 2014

"Cheers!" John Paul thanked the barista who had handed him the latte macchiato, before continuing his conversation with his friend. "So I decided that enough was enough. I have to stop hoping that we'll get back together. So when Spike texted yesterday, I decided to say yes and join him next weekend for a weekend break in London. I don't know whether anything's gonna happen with Spike, but I need to move on."

He put his drink on a table as he zipped up his parka and put on his gloves. He then picked up the paper cup and took a drink. The coffee was lacking its usual smoothness and he realised the foam was missing. Taking the coffee back to the surprised barista, he shook his head at Nancy, "I don't know what's happening to my coffee these days. Yesterday there was no milk left in the fridge, and I was convinced that we had a full pint bottle the night before, and now the foam just seems to vanish. I mean, I'm certain I saw the guy make the drink.

A little later he received a freshly made cup and this time around he took no chances but took a drink right away to check that it was like it was supposed to be. Making their way out of the coffee shop, neither one noticed a thin, little man hiding in a stall, with a lightly brown foam creating a milky moustache. If they'd looked, they'd have seen the look of disappointment as his eyes followed the paper cup approaching John Paul's lips.

"So, you want me to believe that you're over Craig?" Nancy was unconvinced. "Yeah, right!"

"No, I don't mean that I'm over him. I probably never will. But what I'm saying is that it's no use. He's not for me. I should have listened to my mum back then. If he was mine, I'd have found him at the airport. This was destiny telling me to let go, end off." He shrugged and took a drink.

"Well, perhaps you're right." He could hear the scepticism in his friend's voice. "I still think there's a chance for the two of you, but I agree, you shouldn't spend your life pining for him, without doing anything about it! Why don't you just go for it? Go to Dublin. Don't expect him to come for you. Be proactive! What's the harm in that?"

"I don't know. I can't just up and leave Matthew here. And besides, he broke up with me. He left me." He complained.

"John Paul, what are you like? This is no time for petty pride. Will you really let that stop you from following your heart? From being happy?" She laughed coldly. "Then you're not the John Paul I know and love." She turned towards him, grabbed his upper arms with her hands and started shaking him. "Who are you and what have you done with my friend?"

He giggled and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

"I'm serious, John Paul." She said as she took his head in her hands, holding his face steady mere centimetres from her own. "Don't give up on him. Think about it! I'm not saying you shouldn't go to London with Spike, but before you commit to anything with him, you should make sure that it really is over with Craig. It's not fair if you don't. It's not fair on Spike. It's not fair on Craig. It's not fair on Matthew. And it definitely isn't fair on you!" She let go off his head and took his arm. "Okay, let's go pick up the boys. Tom must be going mental."

"Shiv, where's my black and white jumper?" Craig shouted from the bedroom. "I can't find it everywhere!"

She appeared in the doorway. "Try the bottom drawer. I think I put it there last spring. You really want to wear it today?"

He ignored the look of disbelief on her face. "No, not today. I just wanna have it handy if it gets more chilly. Don't wanna spend all my salary on heating this place. Better to dress properly and save a bit of money."

He bent down and opened the drawer. The snowflake-patterned jumper was exactly where Siobhan had suggested. He picked it up and patted it absentmindedly, not noticing her leaving the room. He unfolded the jumper and inspected it fondly. He noticed that small holes had started to appear at the elbows. He put his hands inside, stretched his arms, raised them above his head and pulled the jumper down around his neck. He stood up and corrected it on his torso. It still fitted him, but looking at the mirror he realised that he'd matured since he got the jumper for Christmas as a teenager. It most definitely wasn't a face of a teenager that stared back at him. He was an adult now and he realised what it was Siobhan saw when she saw him wearing this jumper. It was of a time and age that was gone. He wasn't the same scared kid that had tried to apologise to John Paul after beating him up; the guy that had tried to convince himself that Sarah was the one he wanted.

No, the Craig staring back was different, grown up. Had a purpose and a plan.

He took off the jumper, folded it carefully and placed it on the bed. The time was now.

"Shiv? Shiv?" He called out as he walked towards the bedroom door. "We need to talk!"