It all started in the pharmacy that day, the beginning of the end of their relationship. Emma was a little nervous and excited as she stood there reading the packaging of the test kits. This one could tell you with more accuracy, that one sooner, it was bewildering but she wanted to know.
And that outweighed her embarrassment at standing there in that aisle. Because it wasn't how she'd imagined things and she would never have thought she'd be pregnant and unmarried but here she was. And she was so excited by the possibility. She didn't even care if one of the students or Sue or even, God forbid, her mother saw her there. She'd had this sense of joy building at the very idea and she realized that she'd be so disappointed if it wasn't true, if she wasn't having Will's baby. She wanted to be able to tell everyone, most of all to tell Will tonight.
So when April Rhodes walked by, Emma smiled at her. April was flaky, and to be quite honest, a drunk and they weren't exactly friends, but Emma was simply too happy not to smile.
She hadn't meant to encourage a conversation though, so when she sensed that April had stopped behind her she carried on reading the labels, wishing that she'd take the hint and leave.
"So Will Schuester's just as virile as he seems," an elbow nudged Emma in the back. "Got you knocked up already has he?"
Emma could smell the alcohol on her breath.
"Um, hi, April, I'm actually a little busy here." Emma kept her attention on the display, straightening the packet she'd just replaced.
"You and Will have been getting busy, you mean," April laughed, the kind of laugh that drew the gaze of the other shoppers.
That did make Emma feel uncomfortable. She gave April a tight little smile and nodded her head. "Well, we might have some special news to share."
Emma picked up another box to examine, hoping she would take the hint and leave.
"You're lucky. Will's a good guy," April sounded a little wistful. "Still I'm glad he didn't get me knocked up when he was schtupping me. Can you imagine? Me and a baby?" April laughed.
Emma's skin felt cold. It had to be a joke.
"It's not like he didn't have plenty of chances. I mean p-l-enty. I thought I liked sex but you know what I mean the man is an animal."
Emma turned slowly to face her.
"April, you do know that you never actually slept with Will, don't you?"
"Is that what he told you darlin'? Well if you say so," April winked. "We didn't do it in the auditorium then, or in his office, or under the football stand like in high school or even in your bed." April shook her head, a mock serious expression on her face. "We especially didn't do it in your bed."
"In our bed?" Emma was white.
"Oh honey, relax. It was months ago. Months. Will and I haven't got friendly since after I sang at that concert the kids gave."
For a moment all Emma could do was stand there, pieces of her world crumbling around her.
"That was three months ago, April. Will and I have been going out for six." Emma's words were as icy as the blood running through her veins.
"Well math was never my strong suit, so I'm going to agree with you. And I'm glad I could be of help."
Emma stood rooted to the spot, following April's blonde hair as she weaved in and out of the aisles and finally out of the store. The test kit was still in her hand.
She never knew how she got back to their apartment that day. She didn't know how she came to have the pregnancy test. If she paid for it she didn't remember. But it was there in its package, unused, lying in the bag at her feet while she sat waiting for Will to get home.
The key turned in the lock. The door swung open and Will was there, as he was every day, humming a tune the Glee club had been rehearsing and turning to smile at her.
The smile never quite came.
His first words were of concern. He thought something was wrong. She was so still and so quiet, staring straight ahead.
"Baby?" His large strides brougth him swiftly to her side. "Em, what's happened? What's wrong?"
His arms went around her body. Only then did he notice how stiff her shoulders were, how her jaw was set.
"You don't know?" Her words were slow.
"Know what, Em? Tell me."
"Tell you?" She laughed a high, brittle laugh, pulling out of his embrace.
He stared at her, recognizing a change in her. This wasn't his Emma and he didn't know what had transformed her.
"Please."
"I should tell you? When I was clearly the last to know."
He shook his head, a knot of fear growing in his belly.
"I don't know, Em."
"Un hunh, you don't know that you had sex with April Rhodes?" She let the words hang in the air.
"Are you asking me or telling me, Em?"
"Why? Were you thinking of telling me you didn't?" She felt sick.
His gaze held for a moment and then dropped to the floor.
"Shit. Em. It was before. We weren't together and I... I didn't think you'd need to know..."
"Oh, because it wasn't important." Emma nodded, her words sounded so calm, but he could see the tears she was holding back.
"Please, Em." He tried to take her hand. She pulled it away. "I thought you'd be insecure because we hadn't..."
"Oh. So it was my fault you couldn't be honest. You did it to protect me?"
"I didn't want to jeopardize us. What we have is too special." He ran his fingers through his hair, did she know that he meant it?
Emma laughed again. A laugh that wasn't a laugh.
"So special that you were sleeping with her the first few months we were dating?"
He closed his eyes. He didn't want to see the way she looked at him.
"I'm not good at being alone. Not like that. I was messed up...after Terri...and I needed to be close to someone. And we weren't together like that."
"Not together?"
"I don't mean that. Em, please. It was nothing."
"Really, Will? Or was our relationship nothing until we had sex?"
He looked at her. He didn't know how to tell her what she meant to him.
"Because it's all about sex, Will, isn't it?" Her words were more sad than angry.
He tried to reach out to touch her, but he dropped his hand. She didn't want that. And he didn't want to prove her point.
"I'm sorry, Emma."
She looked at him, a tear rolling down her cheek.
"I don't know what I'm meant to do with that, Will. You're sorry. And so am I. But are you even being honest with me now?"
"Em, I love you, I..." He wanted to marry her. He wanted to be with her forever. And she was right, she needed the truth, if they were to build a life together. "I had a...thing with Shelby." He saw it in her eyes, another wave of pain. He shouldn't have told her. "It was the briefest...it was nothing..."
"Nothing? It's all nothing to you, isn't it, Will?"
He shook his head. "That's not true, Em. Please can we just talk about this?"
"Talk? Don't you think we've talked enough? I don't want to know anything more." Her voice was eerily calm.
"Well, maybe not tonight, Em. Maybe tomorrow."
She didn't speak and he didn't know what to do.
"Shall I sleep on the couch? Or do you want me to go? I could stay at Shannon's? Do you want space?"
She nodded.
He got up. He wanted to reach out and touch her. Stroke her hair. Brush his lips against her cheek. Feel her arms go around his neck. But he knew that wasn't happening.
He picked up his bag, walked to the door and looked back at her. "I'll call you in the morning. We can talk then." When you've had some time.
She hadn't moved. He wished she'd throw a vase or something.
"I'll see you tomorrow."
Those were his last words to her.