Beta'd

Notes:

Thank you to everybody who's read so far!

I'm trying to develop the Harvey and Donna relationship from the beginning and confront them with aspects that we don't always see. I always think of Harvey/Louis and Harvey recounting to him 'Donna and the Grapefruit Lady'.

Break the Silence By Atheniandream

Chapter 5 – I know your face all too well

"Hasn't there been enough gossip about us already this weekend?" Donna stated.

She rolled her eyes as Harvey had to almost pull her down the street. He swore when she was stubborn she looked like a little eight year old who had just found out that being obstinate made people stop dead in their tracks. But she wasn't eight and he wasn't that easily pliable.

"Donna, it's the corner of 82nd Street; nobody we know is here. It's a Sunday." He said, his tone trying to comfort her as they wandered along the sidewalk.

"Do you seriously think that people go home Friday night and then sit in their houses all weekend? They're not those dolls in German cuckoo clocks, Harvey. They do have lives too, you know."

"What...? Look, Donna, the senior partners aren't the type to go for long walks around Yorkville, I think we're good."

"Wow, you're really selling this to me."

"Donna?"

"What?"

"Shut up." He said, bumping her arm against his. "Besides, you said you were hungry, and this place does the best pastries in New York, you won't be disappointed. And finally..." He said, opening the door for her, as she looked up at a very quaintly decorated building, with the title in scribbled font across the shop window.

"'PLENTY'…?" She queried.

"Well, there may be; if you hustle."

He stood there, avoiding oncoming pedestrians with the door open, eyes wide at her. She stood there for just long enough, amused at his wavering patience before casually stepping inside, pulling at his sweater as she passed.

The whole morning with Donna had been a discovery, every minute finding out a new thing about them or her. She had the quickest shower time of any woman he'd ever known. She'd insisted she was good and clean but he just couldn't fathom how five minutes was enough to get it all done, for which she'd thoroughly ribbed him for by judging how much time he'd spent in there after her. The second thing was that she hated the smell of his shower gel but loved the smell of it on him. That, he couldn't understand. Did he cancel out the bad smell? The third was that she was comfortable in the presence of his things, but not necessarily him. They had been forced together by their own hand; it made sense that being his assistant for over ten years, during which she'd only become accustomed to his professional life, would throw her and them into a certain groove, but if the sex had been great - which it was -why was it so hard to just …be? It felt as if there was always this line between them. This preferable distance that they'd developed at work that she found unbearable to cross.

The moment he'd realised that he couldn't live without her, he'd pretty much fallen into the zone of wanting her in his life 24/7; like a light had been switched on somewhere and he'd had no impulse to switch it off, so for him the idea of formality with them had been removed. He supposed that men were not all that dissimilar; once they had come to a decision, that was it, the deal was sealed. Women however; were very different. She was here, she was in his apartment after severing herself from her old life; during a very difficult day she had sought refuge at his and had remained there. But now she was in this limbo; and although she seemed to want him, she was also weary of going head long into it. He'd never realised that out of the two of them, she'd be the hardest to crack. It was as if she couldn't let go of who they were and be open to who they could be. He was simple. He loved how she knew him, loved how she looked, how she smelt – like cranberries and white lily – how she could hold her own but didn't need to show it all the time; and for him that was enough to move forward and through the obstacles.

But Donna; she seemed to be thinking every single thing that they did through, like everything meant something. He just wanted to her to relax, and forget about yesterday, which meant taking her to places that he thought she would like to take her mind off of the week to come. It was oddly self-sacrificing of him.

"Ooh, try this, it's really good," She said handing him little bits of her caramel croissant as her eyes delved into the assorted spread of mini breakfast pastries that lay on the table between them.

"Wow that is good. Here, try this it has this…weird centre to it," He replied, putting the rest of what he was holding onto her plate.

He'd known she'd liked pastries when Norma had bought her them for her birthday a few years back, from a little bakery in Queens known for its breakfast miniatures and ever since she'd been completely taken a back at the idea of having a plethora of tastes elegantly created and decorated.

The rest of the afternoon had been taken up with a walk around Central park on his insistence that hiding out in his apartment was still not an option. They took a walk down West Drive; along the vast Onassis reservoir. Most of New York was also taking the opportunity to be part of the sun, with kids and parents on bikes, running clubs darting past them; teens on rollerblades and even overly optimistic groups making a picnic out of the day, large spreads and the smell of barbeque food floating around them. He'd have said it was still a little too cold out on the ground for a barbeque, but maybe that was just him.

He turned to Donna, noticing that she'd taken an interest in him as they both sat on a nearby bench, eyes working something out in her head as she made herself comfortable.

"What?" he asked, feeling self-conscious.

"I just…It's oddly unsettling; seeing you without a suit. And relaxed…you're hardly ever relaxed. I didn't think you had it in you to relax," She joked, her own self-consciousness leading her gaze out onto the reservoir.

He laughed, shaking his head. "I guess this is a weekend of revelations. It's still odd, isn't it?"

"Yeah it is." She agreed. "It's going to be, for a while I guess, until things are sorted out."

"Yeah…have you decided what you're doing? You know I have no qualms about you staying,"

"I think…I'm going to get myself a place; start looking tomorrow. Get my things moved out of that apartment, make a base. "

"Okay." He ignored the little sink in his stomach. "You need help with that?" He asked; words precarious as he eyed her. He didn't want her walking into a possibly complicated situation without someone there to back her up.

"I'll be fine. First thing's first. If I'm going to stay at yours for the week I need groceries. I don't understand how you don't have anything. Of course I'm aware that you eat out all the time, but can you even cook?"

"Can you?" He smirked at her, laying the bait.

"Harvey, it was one time! Are you going to bring up the 'god awful dinner party' during every conversation?" She asked, playfully punching his arm.

"Ms Paulsen, thanks to you I now can't bare the smell of swordfish." He laughed, grabbing her by the waist, giving her a little squeeze before trying to tickle her. She yelped; breath caught as she tried to escape his clutches, laughter peeling in her throat, hair flying against his face. "Har-vey-stoppit! Your hands are cold! We're supposed to be adults!" She squeaked; face inches from his, both trying to catch their breath.

Suddenly the tension in her lifted; her eyes marble and rounded as they stared into his for second, the edges of an emotion she never shared and he couldn't put his finger on. He numbly let her hands go as they slid up to his face. She almost made a face before her lips touched gently against his, the sense of self-consciousness lost as the taste of coffee and caramel and salt from brunch mixed between them. The kiss was a brush at first, a test. This was the first time that she had sought him out. Every other time had been led by his own impulse and she had followed. Her head angled, noses bumping, one hand falling as the other rested against the nape of his neck. Feeling the fire rise between them, her tongue and teeth joined his; the kiss deepening. He reacted instantly, his hand pushing her unruly fringe out of the way, wanting to be closer to her, wanting to feel the heave of her chest against his.

She suddenly broke away just millimetres to catch her breath, her smile growing against his cheek as her eyes spied a little girl staring at them between her two parents.

"We have an audience." She chuckled, eyes looking away in embarrassment as she recoiled from him.

"Yeah," He turned casually standing up. "This is a family park; let's go." He offered his hand to her.

She looked at his hand, hers settling on her thighs as she weighed up the option of taking it.

It was a big step in their line of little ones. He waited; his impatience growing as he tried to keep the need to rush things at bay. What was happening to him?

She drew a long breath, mouth forming into a pout as she extended her hand, slowly letting him pull her to standing. For a split second they just watched one another, examining each other until his fingers slid between hers. And then they just…walked.

"Don't let me forget the groceries." She said, trying to level the smile that crept from her toes all the way up to the top of her head.

"Okay, we'll stop off on the way." He said, as a hint of a smile tugged at his own lips.

Wishing you could keep me closer

I'm a lazy dancer,

When you move I move with you ~ 'Collect Call' ~ By Metric

"You're going to ruin the batter Harvey! We only have three eggs left." She whined, taking the whisk out of his hands and elbowing him aside.

"I find that hard to believe, you bought a carton," He argued.

"The recipe needs twelve, you dropped three, and you had two still left in your fridge."

"So we'll make half. And something else."

"That's over half but okay,"

"When did you suddenly become so good at math?"

"When did you become so bad at math… and holding things?" She countered, jaw flexing as she stared at him indefinitely, not noticing drops of egg batter slowly falling off the whisk and onto the floor.

"You distracted me." He said, waiting for the penny to drop, trying to keep a smirk at bay.

He laughed when she too noticed, cursing under her breath as she dropped the whisk back into the bowl. "I'll just watch," He said retreating to the opposite counter and sipping his wine in mirth.

"Good." She said with a faked confidence as she took in the current mess she'd have to deal with. Pots and pans everywhere; a bowl of wilting spinach and the distinct smell of burnt salmon on the side. They were not good in the kitchen together; mostly because he'd gotten bored and then made the mistake of dropping the eggs; then he'd decided that kissing her neck was far more interesting than going through the list of recipe ingredients again.

"I can see you distracting me from here, Harvey." She said out of the corner of her eye. He knew just how long it took to rile her. At least two, two and half minutes tops. Her eyes advanced on him, her hands on her hips as butter sizzled in a pan behind her. "Do you think we're strangers? We have met before, you know? I know your game, Specter." Donna said, all the command she'd focused into her words dripping out as she smelled the butter burning in the pan and darted to save it.

"What? I'm not trying to be distracting." He said, the innocence dripping off his tongue as he feigned responsibility.

"You do the same thing at work and you know it." She said, pointing the spatula in her hands at him. "Now keep yourself useful and pour me some more wine, please."

It turned out to be pretty good food once she'd vetoed him from the area that extended from the stove to the fridge in favour of her concentrating.

"Well, this is really good." He said, thoroughly enjoying what now clearly looked like a Salmon Florentine Omelette.

"It's okay…the drug will kick-in in like, three to five minutes," She joked; eyes dry as she watched him.

"If you wanted to have your wicked way with me, all you had to do was ask."

"Aren't you optimistic," She toyed, taking in the smoulder of a stare.

"Seriously though, you can cook. This is nothing like the-"

"Don't say it." She cut him off, rolling her eyes, trying to keep her growing laughter at bay.

They both knew it had been a terrible dinner party from the moment she'd opened the door with cream in her hair….

He could hear the cogs turning through the night; through her level breathing this silent thought of hers, decibels too loud; loud enough even for him to hear. It was starting to grate on him as the morning quickly approached.

His arm snaked around her middle as he placed a tender kiss on her shoulder, clearing his throat from the thick of sleep.

"Hey you, what's going on in there?" He whispered against her shoulder, watching how the light caught them both in the reflection of the windows; her red hair being lit by the moon making it look like slow burning embers.

Her hand contacted his, squeezing slightly before lacing her fingers into his.

"I'm just…thinking." She whispered back.

"About?"

"…Everything."

"That's a lot of stuff."

"You know what I mean."

Harvey sighed, kissing her back soundly. "I do. And we'll sort it out." He said, squeezing her and hoping that she knew how much he meant it.

He'd said it a lot over the weekend. 'We'll sort it out'; like it was a buffer, a blanket response for so many things they still had to work through; things she had to do herself, things they had to do together, things they hadn't said, things that they were maybe never going to say.

All he knew right now was that he loved her in his bed; soft and warm against him; he loved her quietly cluttering the clean lines of his apartment with her little suitcase; and he loved the thought that she was gradually becoming a fixture in his personal life; in some way that he never realised he'd missed out on,

until he'd nearly lost it all.

He was resolute. That wouldn't happen to him this time.

"Harvey. HARVEY!"

Her voice caught him like a bullet… must have been dreaming.

He opened his eyes to find Donna looking down at him, clad in his dressing gown, a cup of coffee in her hands extended towards him.

"You're late." She said.

"By?" He mumbled; face half-drenched in pillow.

"Ten…fifteen…It's 7:20. And you might not want to be late today. I'm not there to cover your ass." She said, indicating Jessica.

"Shit. Why didn't you wake me." He sprang out of bed, ignoring kinks and the ache from eventually falling dead asleep, taking the coffee out of her hands. It seemed an oddly formal action if you discounted that she was possibly naked under that dressing gown. One of those things they did every work morning in a completely different context. The thought freaked him out a bit, but he let it pass.

"You were out of it. The shower's on." She called out from the kitchen as he hauled ass into the bathroom.

It took him all of twenty minutes to shower; quickly shave and throw on a suit, but his eyes were still waking up from their sleep laden fog as he brushed his teeth and tried to sort his hair. Thankful for him, Donna was here to rectify any flaws, a strange benefit of sleeping with someone who pretty much made your life possible from 9-5 and now perhaps 24/7.

When he entered the kitchen she was cooking toast whilst casually buttering a few slices. She stopped when she saw him, immediately wiping her hands and assaulting the lapels of his jacket.

"Donna," He followed her gaze. "I'm fine." He argued, rolling his eyes as she straightened up the lines and went straight to his hair. "Aah!" he objected.

She merely glared, raising her eyebrows until he gave up, letting her flatten the bit of hair that always seemed to be on the offensive.

She stood back a sec, taking him in, giving him a cheeky raise of the eyebrow.

"Am I good?"

"You're good." She replied casually leaning against the counter.

He turned to leave; until realising something, a new habit starting to form as he walked back up to her.

"I forgot something,"

"What?" she asked, a worried look forming.

He kissed her, tasting the butter and morning coffee. "That." He said, before walking out of the kitchen, pausing as he spied a piece of toast on a plate which he ceremoniously took with him. "I'm taking this," He called behind him, only adding to his building swagger.

"That's why I made it." She called after him.

Being as in love with you as I am,

Being as in love

Love

Love ~ 'Angels' By The XX

Monday morning had come around all too fast. And he thought rather than wait for the bullet he'd just go right in there and face whatever reprimand she had waiting for him.

Jessica was typing casually at her desk, not bothering to look up when he knocked and walked in until he was standing right in front of her.

"Harvey Specter… the man with the worst timing; how was your weekend?" She gestured to a seat.

"I preferred 'best closer in the city'." He said, accepting her gesture to sit.

"Well, you've caught me on a better day. Be grateful for that..." Her harsh stare contacted his, raising his ire.

"Just out with it, Jessica; whatever you have to say… just say it." He said.

"Okay. You screwed up."

"I did." He agreed, making sure to check himself.

"You dragged the firm through the social mud."

His attention piqued as a flame of indignation rose up out of his chest. "Did I?"

"There were three other Senior Partners at that Wedding, not to mention assistants, clerks…Donna made a lot of friends you know, not that you ever seem to have noticed."

"If we're putting it out there, I didn't notice much that day. I didn't even see Louis." He joked, it falling flat between them.

"I've always let the situation with you and Donna go; you both knew how to handle it, you always dealt with things under the table before they started to leak into the firm. But this…this was a big leak, Harvey," She reprimanded, fingers bending against the desk.

"Oh, come on." He said, rolling his eyes. This was ridiculous.

"How is it going to look on top of all the other messes you caused last year? Hardman, settling; if word goes around that you stopped your own assistant's wedding? How am I supposed to deal with that kind of damage control?"

"Wait a minute, Daniel was banging Monica for the good part of a year whilst his own wife was dying at home with cancer and we swept that under the table, but I"

"He didn't do it in public, at a firm-connected event, Harvey! Do you not get it? You're on track for Managing Partner. How are people going to agree to follow your leadership in this firm if your personal character is slandered before you've even got there? And Daniel did it when he was at the top, and still had the foresight to try and hide it. Whispers don't play like facts do Harvey; you should know that by now. "

"I do. Donna cancelled her own wedding, you know. " He defended, posture moving to aggressive as he sat forward, nostrils flaring.

"You stood up and objected in front of 150 people Harvey; we may as well have been in 'Four Weddings'… You think other firms aren't going to hear about this? I can handle you being a ball-buster, cantankerous; which you are at times; stubborn, persistent and even with a tendency to be a playboy around Manhattan and skim outside the lines of justice. But when it leaks into your credibility at work how am I supposed to spin that?"

"How about with the truth?" He was starting to yell as he stood. This was bullshit, and a witch-hunt; seemingly another excuse to keep him in line. "Spin this: I love her. My timing was bad. We've known each other for eleven god damn years. This isn't just some naïve temp I claim to have fallen for; this is Donna we are talking about."

His speech left him completely devoid of words. He hadn't said it aloud to anyone yet, let alone her, and here he was saying it to Jessica. He loved her. He sat back into the chair, taking a moment over it. When he looked back, Jessica had an odd smile across her full lips.

"Have you told her that?" She asked, her smile growing.

"No, I thought I'd tell my Boss first. Then maybe the New York Times; have it put in sky writing, you know," He said; the sarcasm dripping.

He watched her take a moment, thinking. It was like waiting for the start gun to go off at a race, the tension literally palpable.

"You screw this up Harvey and I won't just knock you off the Managing Partner track; I'll kick your ass."

"You won't have to." He said, getting up. He'd had enough of being ripped a new one. It was time to do some actual work.

"I'm giving you a week to sort your shit out, until Donna comes back. I want you both to come back to me and let me know how the land lies… and I'll do what I can." She said.

He nodded.

"And next time;" Her voice catching him once more before he made it to the door. "If it involves the firm; you come to me first: at least for a…heads up?"

"There won't be a next time." He assured.

"Good."

He turned.

"Jessica?"

She looked up, waiting.

"Thank you." He said fervently.

"Get out of here." She dismissed him, going back to her typing.

P.S. Excited with the new chapter, all sorts I've not written before!