Break the Silence – By Atheniandream
Chapter 7 – It's in your Bones.
You can never break the silence in your heart, in your heart
You can never break the silence, it's in your bones, in your bones… ~ 'Break the Silence' By Dig
Harvey had decided to work the hours that he'd taken on Monday over the next two days; being that Donna had already text to say she'd arrived safely in Cortland, he figured that there was no use in him being at home twiddling his thumbs until Friday and instead put the time to good use. Tuesday and Wednesday ran over; with more complications in the Winters case than he'd expected; with Jessica lumping another case on them at the last minute, when a close friend of hers was served divorce papers. This caused Mike to stay later on Thursday to help out and in truth he didn't want to be sat alone at the firm all night; so in turn he promised Mike the following Friday afternoon off as a thankyou for offering to help out. He should have known that Mike would take the opportunity now that everyone had pretty much left the building to ask inane questions.
"So, have you heard from Donna?" He asked.
"Yes." Harvey nodded, immersed in the pile of papers in front of him.
"So….?"
"Just because you say 'So' doesn't mean I automatically know what you're asking me."
"Well...what's happening with you two?" He said, a readable impatience in the young man's face.
"She's in Cortland, Mike. I have no idea." Replied Harvey, stapling papers very neatly together. "How about we talk about you for a change?"
"Nothing to say, really; my life's pretty much dull." He said.
"Oh, I wouldn't say that. Engaged in any extracurricular activities in the workplace recently?" He said, watching Mike squirm in slow motion. This was too much fun.
"..Uh no...?"
"Are you sure about that?" Harvey pressed.
Mike treaded carefully, almost trying too hard to keep his tone casual, unaffected. "That was one time. It's not like a thing that we do," He insisted.
"Are you sure about that?" His eyes looked over the top of his papers very pointedly at the young man.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Mike said.
For a smart guy, Mike was often very, very stupid.
"I had to have the tapes destroyed, Mike. And I made sure that I get told first if anything like that happens again. You can't afford for there to be any ammo flying your way."
What Harvey was inferring suddenly dawned on him. He watched the kid's face drain of all possible blood, a sheepish look appearing on his clueless face.
"Oh god…okay… we'll stop." he said.
An awkward silence quietened them both, only the rustling of paper breaking through the tension. Mike suddenly looked up, a strange look in his eye. "Did you…see the-"
"Nope," Harvey cut him off, eyes returning to the files.
"Okay, good."
"Security had a LOT to say about it though." He said casually.
"Oh my god, I knew there was reason they always laughed when I walked in on a morning."
"We have cameras everywhere, dumbass."
He looked up to find MIKE dumbstruck.
"Shit."
"Yeah,"
"So you're telling me that you've never…here?"
"It's an office Mike, not a brothel."
"…I find that hard to believe. And, how did you manage to get security to…"
He paused from his work, meeting Mike headlong.
"You know what we do with the can opener?"
"Ah,"
"Ammo," Harvey reiterated.
By Friday, Harvey was now sufficiently agitated having not heard a word from Donna for two days. He'd spent the day terrorising Cameron; having Mike run circles trying to catch a witness out on the street, and wanted nothing more than a double whiskey and a hotdog, in that order. He managed to leave the office around 7.30; the emptiness in his stomach weighing him down like a lead balloon.
"Goodnight Ray," He called out, slamming the car door and walking into his building.
Henry seemed a little out of place on the floor waiting for him.
"Mr Specter, you have a visitor. Ms Paulsen said to let him up. He seemed…agitated."
"How long ago?"
"Five…Ten?"
"Thanks Henry."
The pit of his stomach fell even deeper, if it was possible as he willed the elevator to fasten its ascent. It might have been his brother; but he didn't usually make late night house calls nowadays with three kids in tow, and Donna had only ever met him once. Bile churned in his stomach as his eyes watched the indicator rise on the dial.
Harvey walked into a fully lit apartment, dropping his case on the side table. He walked along the hall, his interest piqued.
His worst fears were confirmed.
Donna's suppose ex-fiancé, was stood in the middle of HIS apartment, alone. Pacing.
"Carl…" He said, wearily.
"Harvey. Nice place…for a Lawyer…" his tone skirted the edges of cordial, with a slight hint of indignation. He couldn't blame the guy; but being in his apartment was unacceptable.
"Thanks. Donna picked it out." He hadn't meant for that to sound the way it did.
"I should have guessed."
"Where is she?" He eyed the taller man, a sharp gaze watching his every move.
"Bathroom." He replied, walking towards Harvey. Every fibre in his being stood to attention, his nerves live like danger was lurking. This guy was still very, very angry.
It suddenly dawned on him that he probably owed this guy something. It was like looking into the eyes of Scottie's fiancé and knowing that she'd helped him screw the guy's life up. The only difference was that Donna wasn't Scottie in any way. She'd never meant to hurt him.
"Look, I'm sorry it got to-" He started, but was halted as the man raised his hand. Harvey felt his mouth closing strangely without objection.
He watched the man vent the building anger into his features, from the stiff posture to the lump in his throat. "I don't need your apologies. I'm not going to hit you. But I still want to so I'd appreciate you keeping your apologies to yourself."
"Fine." Harvey said; eyes still razor sharp.
"You already had her… you know that? You had her every single day." Carl said, the bitter edges seeping out through his generally pleasant seeming demeanour.
"You really think that?" He asked, the idea of that absurd. No one had Donna Paulsen. Not even him; no matter what she'd sacrificed in the past.
"I accepted months ago, that you were first call. But we worked around it; worked around you having to be the centre of her life all the time. And still, after working everything out, you…you just couldn't let her go, could you?"
He had nothing to say about that. He was only just coming to terms with that truth himself.
"She told me everything you know?" The man continued. "In a way, that honesty made it easier to deal with. Tell me, are you ever going to be that honest with her?"
He could have said 'mind your own goddamned business'; hell, he wanted to punch the guy. But instead, the plan B, the hard and honest truth in his chest: he went with that.
"I'm trying. It's not that easy." He said, too quietly considering the weight of the conversation.
"No, what she did, that wasn't easy. It hasn't been easy. You're doing what you've always done."
"You don't know me." He said, eyes darkening, venom finally in his words.
"I know enough…the great Harvey Specter." He said, every consonant in Harvey's name curling around the guy's tongue like an insult.
That was it; the last straw. This guy was one ticket away from a right hook…and where the hell was Donna...
Just in time, the door made a sound as Donna appeared behind it.
"What? What is it?" Harvey said, beating Carl to the punch as he walked towards her, forgetting the man behind mostly because her face just panicked him. She looked like someone had punched her in the gut.
She looked at him, then to Carl then to him again.
"I…I'm Pregnant." She said; her face ashen.
Three worlds stopped turning, as one was created.
"I…we're going to have to talk about things," Carl suddenly said, hand coming up to his hair.
Donna didn't say a word; for a second her eyes caught Harvey's but looked away almost as fast.
That couldn't be right; he reasoned. She wasn't suggesting… it had only been a week and wasn't she on the pill…suddenly he wasn't so sure if it was what she implied in that second that scared him or the man behind him catching on just as quickly.
"What…?" Carl said, attention sharp as the answers unevenly knotting together in his head.
No, it was definitely not the first thing…
His eyes looked to Donna, who looked to Carl again. His attention was brought around to meet the guy's grey eyes, but not in enough time.
Harvey's face hit the ground with a large thud bringing his body with it.
Bad day to be a possible baby-daddy…
"Harvey….HARVEY!"
He could hear her voice, distant as his eyes opened and he was confronted with cloudy blurs. He winced at the throbbing pain in the right side of his face, as he felt her hands support his shoulders from behind. He struggled to get up, his knees objecting to the weight.
That was some Left hook. Left-handed…no wonder he hadn't seen it coming…
"Let me see that," She said, hands on either side of his face, as she looked him over. For a second she seemed like the old Donna, her slightly mothering touch soothing him.
"That guy is not allowed back into this building-oww," He groaned as she touched the sensitive spot. "Why was he even here?"
"Sorry-He wanted talk. For obvious reasons; but I was taking my third test at the time. And Harvey, he may have to be around for the time being, if I'm going to have his baby." She replied, softness in her voice that he had missed terribly over the last week.
Her eyes measured his, both of them unsure.
"Are you having…his…baby?" He asked, unsettled by the forthrightness of his asking. But he had to be the one to say it. There was no use acting coy, they weren't teenagers.
"I don't know." She said simply, arms falling from his face.
"I thought… you said that you were on the," He winced at the pain from moving his mouth.
"I am. But, I didn't realise; I completely stopped taking the pill the day before my wedding day. Carl had talked about wanting to have a family immediately so..but then, everything happened and I started taking it again on Sunday and didn't think anything of it…until I got home. And started complaining about smelling burning all the time; which, my mom had…when she was pregnant with me."
"Burning, really?"
"Yeah, this whole place smells like toast."
"So…we might be…having a baby?"
"Maybe…"
He sat down, the dull ache in his head as his cheek started swelling up.
"If it makes any difference, work won't really change that much. It's not like rumours aren't already flying around about us." He said dryly. What a way to paint the situation red…
"Tell me about it. I'm sure if I'd have actually gotten married and then fallen pregnant, there'd still be the whispers that it was yours." She eyed him with a warm, slightly scolding look.
"We're just giving the people what they want," He joked, the heavy weight of the situation making it fall flat. "Maybe."
"Maybe." She nodded.
She walked towards the kitchen, rummaging in the freezer for what he supposed was ice.
This was the time.
Maybe this was the time for him; that opening he'd been waiting for.
"Donna," He called, coming to meet her at the counter's edge.
She turned to face him holding a bag of frozen peas.
"I…uh, I know that you have a lot to figure out…with the baby and…everything. But, at some point we need to discuss what's going on…with us…and everything…when you're ready."
She very quietly picked a teatowel from his counter, wrapping the peas in the towel and pressing it to his now reddened face.
"I know. We will; when we know." She said.
The tension was palpable. He just wanted to kiss her. Even through the pain, just kiss her, regardless of whose bun she had in her oven.
She was the first to break their bubble. "I'm going to make an appointment tomorrow."
"Good idea." He said.
At this rate, he needed one too. His head was throbbing.
Notes: Decided to leave it on a CLIFFFF for this Chapter.