Sorry for the absence of Chapters of late; couldn't find my way through this until today. Whoop!
Thanks again to everyone who's wth me on this fic. -x-
Break the Silence By Atheniandream
Chapter 9
"Morning Donna, you're looking…radiant." Mike said, leaning over her cubicle.
"What did you just say?"
"No…I just meant…you look…good." He spat out, posture bending.
Her eyes sharpened on the younger man, watching him retreat ever so slightly from the edge of her cubicle.
"What do you know…?" She fired at him.
"What? No. Nothing…" He backtracked, looking towards the office.
"Something."
"Uh, I've got to go…talk to…Harvey." He side tracked, shuffling past her and walking into Harvey's office as Donna continued typing.
"Harvey, I need to talk to you; right now." Mike said, words rushed.
"So…talk…" He said.
"Not here," He mouthed at him.
The kid was clearly spooked about something, his eyes looked to Donna and then back again, Donna seemingly unfazed as she began to type up the letter he'd asked for earlier.
"What is it, Mike? I have work to do you know." He barked at him as the kid just stood there like he either need to pee or was hiding from a bear.
Donna suddenly glided in, closing the door behind her. So this was the famed grizzly.
"You told Mike, didn't you?" She fired at him, bypassing the squirming associate.
"I may have…alluded to…" He stumbled, taken by surprise as she loomed over his desk.
"And what was the verdict?" Mike chimed in, obviously completely unaware of the danger his question posed. "Rachel knows too by the way." He added.
"Mike, now is not the time," He warned; eyeing a very annoyed Donna.
"Did we not agree that this kind of talk was off limits in the office environment?" She asked him, hands on her hips that suggested she would come out of this argument the victor.
"Mike was on the 'tell' list." He argued; a noticeably whiny kink in his voice.
"Wait, you guys have lists already?" The young man interjected.
"Not now Mike," They both barked at him.
"We had an agreement. Which Harvey is breaking, after only…three hours." Donna said, arms folding over herself as she waited for him to tumble little falling cards.
"So….?" Mike asked, poised on the edge of the sofa.
It suddenly occurred to Harvey that the pressure was most firmly on him; however he was at odds as to whether he should be slightly scared of the woman carrying his child or very annoyed that his associate was digging him in deeper.
He gave a defeated huff. "It's mine." He said; flicking back to the files on his desk, ignoring the look Donna gave him as she peeked out of his peripheral. He had a feeling he'd be doing a lot of that from now on: ignoring things. At the same time, a swell of pride overcame him at the admission of the fact that he, Harvey Specter, had made a baby.
It was oddly fulfilling.
Watching Mike's expression was like a guppy coming up for air whilst being chased by a shark as the kid rose to his feet, speechless. Donna jumped in and saved his effort. "Michael you cannot tell anyone, do you hear me? And if you manage to tell Rachel before us, then you do it outside the office, or so help me god I will drain you of blood before I kill you." She kept the finger pointed at him, as the kid gradually sat down. It was a marvel at how many people Donna could frighten the life out of if she had to.
"And we're not telling Jessica until absolutely necessary, so this is just between us…and Rachel." He interjected.
"And maybe Louis," Donna added.
Mike double took for a second. "Wait; Louis knows? Who decided that one? He is AWFUL at keeping secrets."
"Don't look at me; I didn't put him on the list." Harvey said, causing Mike's attention to move to the very unmoveable Donna.
"I have my reasons..." She said stubbornly. No one questioned further.
"Now that we've established…everything, could you both now leave my office?" He looked up under knitted brows, as they both left without a word. This would be his life from now on. One girlfriend with relationship undefined, two children - one far too old to be considered as such - and one giant situation under wraps; maybe two giants; if you still considered Mike not being a lawyer as something worth considering.
The most pressing issue was Scottie. He hadn't seen her in a while; things being what they had been when she'd gotten her job back, they were awkward around each other now, avoided talking about anything other than a standard civility. He supposed he couldn't blame her; they'd left everything very open and he'd been so stunned by her admission and bruised of ego at losing against Darby that he'd been at a loss as to what to say. A year down the line and nothing much had changed between them and yet things between Donna and him had 180'd in less than a week…. 10 years and a week.
He had a feeling Scottie would notice somehow, no matter how much they acted like nothing had changed. He and Scottie went back so far that it was possible that she would catch on quicker than most.
In less than a work week the jig would be up; and the verdict out. He hated waiting.
I can't give it up
to someone else's touch
Because I care too much... ~ 'Infinity' By The XX
The day had drawn to a close pretty quickly; having no need to stay longer than seven after a very long and eventful day. He looked up, noticed Donna packing up her bag and decided that the evening had indeed started.
He casually leant against the door jamb as she picked a pen up off the floor, arching her neck a little; eyes trailing up the length of his body until they met his dark gaze holding hers for a second; until something stirred in her and she shook her head, getting up and giving him a stare dripping with enough distain it could make your toes curl.
"Want a ride?" He asked; knowing that it was cheesy and very, very beyond the limits that their agreement had set. People always did say that he played in the grey...
She pursed her lips, squaring her gaze at him. "I suppose."
He noticed her resolve kink a little, satisfaction playing on his already arrogant smile.
He joined her, walking all the way to the elevator, the wordless tension mounting like stacks of Jenga pieces as he glanced at her knees, peeking bare beneath her skirt as she glided on those heels that he'd already told her were ridiculously too high. She noticed his gaze and sped up a little, her hair flicking over her shoulder as she pressed the elevator button and eyed him questioningly.
She was like fluid silk and sugar and he'd wanted nothing more than to get her on that leather lounger chair in his office and do things to her that make her giggle and plead all at the same time.
They both entered the empty elevator, taking their places side by side as the doors drew to a close.
His hand immediately came up to her neck, the other at her waist pulling her roughly to him.
"Harvey!" She shrieked, "There's a camera in here." She eyed him, slapping his hand away, but not moving.
"Then let's give them something to remember," He growled, licking the side of her neck in one long stroke. The elevator suddenly stalled and Donna immediately sidestepped him, trying to regain composure as an older couple entered, standing in front of them.
He watched her face turn a vibrant blush, smiling at her with every bit of satisfaction as she silently cursed at him from the convenience of her corner. He was going to hear about this later, but he really didn't care; welcomed it even. Antagonising her would probably become his new hobby, eliciting this youthfulness in him that he hadn't experienced… in forever. When in Rome...
As they finally made it to the ground floor, she measured his gaze as they walked out quietly to where Ray was waiting.
"Good Evening," Said the driver, immediately opening the door for Donna as Harvey nodded in thanks.
"Where are we going this evening?" He called out to the back.
For a second Donna waited on his answer; just as he had an impulse to ask her where she had wanted to go.
She simply said, "Home. Thank you, Ray."
He felt all his nerves kick into life at once as the car started to drive. "Ray, could you give us a minute?"
"Of Course," He said, immediately raising the partition window.
Within seconds his hands were over her; or hers over him; he wasn't sure and they met in the middle as his hand found her hair and hers found either side of his neck, their kisses hungry and demanding. He felt himself begin to unravel and paused for breath.
"I've wanted to do that all day,"
"I nearly got under your desk," She groaned, sucking at his earlobe and completely catching him off guard.
"Donna Paulsen!" He pretended to rebuke her, but secretly wished to god that she had followed her impulses more often.
She sat back to look at him, the picture of a model citizen. "I'm not apologizing for who am."
"You can't use your 'get out of jail free card' more than once a day." He warned.
She smiled, kissing him soundly "We'll see about that one." as she called Ray to lower the partition.
She knew him well; no matter how much he wanted to have his way, he wasn't about to screw his assistant-girlfriend in front of his long-term personal driver, friend and employee.
He wasn't Hefner, for crying out loud.
Over the next day or two, the apartment looked a little different; having boxes of Donna's things neatly stacked around the place. She had insisted on storing most of it; even though he'd assured her that they didn't have to both live like bachelors, she'd insisted that she wouldn't have it any other way; the clean lines and unfussy décor a refreshing thing for her to have around. She'd brought a few little things along with her clothes and necessities, as well as her kitchen items – having mocked him for his less then amply stocked kitchen cupboards.
"What the hell does this do?" He eyed the contraption as he held it up to her.
"It's a garlic press. Read a cookbook will you?" She held her hand out, waiting for him to pass it to her.
"I'd rather just watch you cook." He replied, a cocky expression waiting for her.
"Why am I not surprised by this?"
He smiled in response. Their situation was a strange one, this 'adding of things to his apartment', as she'd called it. It was almost like they were moving in together. Except, even as she packed things away it looked like almost nothing had changed. That was until you looked into the spare bedroom; where she asked to house most of her things, as a room for just her. A large assortment of books waiting for a bookshelf; a chaise lounge that they'd argued over the location of; Harvey insisting that it was beautiful enough to remain in the lounge and her fervently against such an obscure notion.
As he examined the walls, pictures of pressed flowers, old movie posters and black and white photos from her family sprinkling the walls; as well as small chest of what he supposed held memories; but what she'd referred to as her 'Dead Man's Chest', he felt like this little room held the representation of her that he seldom saw. It was quaint and kind of wonderful.
"You realise that you don't have to have these things in just here, Donna, you could…put them anywhere."
"Look. As things move on, if they do, I'll gradually move things out. But it's nice. Like my own little space. You're not allowed in here by the way." She eyed him, the humour evident in her large lash framed eyes.
"That's not fair, I own the apartment!" He argued; a disappointed glare until she smiled at him and he'd realised just how much he'd overreacted. "You're joking…right?" He asked; the edges in his voice rising. Sometimes it was hard to read her deadpan expressions.
"You're so emotional." She jested, playfully tugging at his tie.
"Yeah, I think you help bring it out in me…" He accused, lips crinkling in distaste.
She laughed, pulling him close to her, "Well, someone had to." Her face lingered just left of his.
As he wandered around the rest of the condo; he could see her stealthy application of items; a stack of vogue magazines under the coffee table; a Crabtree and Evelyn hand wash by the kitchen sink; Bath Foam and Pearls by the Bath tub. These little details, along with more that he was sure he would notice as time went on; hardly noticeable to the untrained eye but now peeking out at him in between his own things. She was like this feminine frame to his hard-edged life.
And he felt strangely Zen about the whole deal.
She always did know how to give him just enough space…
Donna:
It was still hard for Donna to get used to living with Harvey. Even after nearly two weeks had passed since she'd passed out on his bed, she still felt a bit like a nomad, a refugee planted in his life like a teenager in need of a foster home. It worried her that they couldn't approach this very delicate situation from a natural angle, occasionally meeting during the week, maybe dating. Unfortunately, being pregnant was putting a kibosh on that; Harvey objected almost entirely to his kid being raised outside of his home. She had understood then; understood the strict need in him to have them be a family, and prepare as such; rather than spend nine months apart only to be forced into it with a baby to complicate things even more.
She supposed this was the thing; when you moved in with someone – she never had taken the plunge until Carl – there would always be a possibility that things wouldn't work out and you would have to start again. Hell, she'd come to this big city and made it this far; she was far from shakeable in the hard truth that New York had to offer. But things were different. They were steadily changing; shifting to fit one another and the impending addition to the family. In nine months she'd gone from a single person working for a man for over ten years and having a mostly avid single life, to dating and moving in with a guy after 6 months and getting engaged; to leaving the man at the alter for the guy you worked with, getting pregnant by him on the same day and now a week or two later living in the condo that you helped him pick out and arranging his cupboards.
Her life was… newly complicated.
And she still had this resounding guilt over Carl; this awful moment where she had completely destroyed his life; tapered by an even bigger sense of shame at now having a very private – if not Jessica-approved – relationship with her boss.
She wasn't this kind of woman. She'd stopped everything the first time; the other time, when they had nearly crossed a line, because it felt wrong, it felt degrading.
Now everything was an inner mix of calm and chaos. Together they were intimate and complimentary in ways she had never really thought over when they had just worked together; assuming that she just worked very hard to be the best for him. But she hadn't seen the side of him that he never let anyone see at work; and maybe hadn't shown for a long time. She'd always known Harvey was cotton wool rolled in diamonds and partially brushed with steel; this person that could charm, disarm and startle most of the opponents and women in New York. But he'd never really given her anything other than the edges of frustration. Now she knew why; how it had obviously been born into their relationship from the beginning, this tension on either side of them bringing them together but also arming them against one another.
His objection was the straw that broke the camel indefinitely. Only the camel was a piñata and now there was a heap of crap on the floor for them to sort through. Some sweet, some sickly and scattered…but all for them.
It turned out that she had more crap than he did. Fancy that.
However, that didn't stop Harvey being Harvey. He wasn't happy that she was going to meet Carl on her own, and she understood why; being the only man to possibly ever punch Harvey in the face, she could tell it still dug at him. That and the fact that he could be oh so possessive with things that he deemed his…
"I'll have Ray drive you," Harvey said to her as she pulled on her coat.
"Harvey, I'm getting a cab," She argued, keeping her voice even.
"I have a driver." He declared. She rolled her eyes.
"If Carl sees me pull up in a limo it'll get his back up. I'd like to appear as inoffensive to him as I possibly can when I tell him that 'Sorry Carl, but this is not your baby'." She pointed to her completely flat stomach, before checking herself in the mirror one last time.
She'd gone for something understated, an almost office-styled blue dress, as to appear as neutral as possible. She didn't want her ex fiancé thinking he was going to get some. That would be a horrendous signal. Nor did she want to rub his face in it. And deep down part of her knew that Harvey would have something strong to say if she dressed up for the occasion.
"I don't like it." He said; the distaste in his voice evident as leant against the kitchen counter.
"Harvey," she walked to him, making sure to keep her distance with him in this kind of a mood. "I would rather not go; but Carl deserves an apology from me. He needs to know the truth." She said her voice delicate but firm still.
"And exactly what is the truth?" He snapped, the sharpness in his voice peeking out between the angular features of his face.
"That I should never have accepted his proposal and that breaking off the wedding had nothing to do with him; it was to do with us." She said, voice softening, but not helping to quash his irritable streak.
"You sound like a Lawyer. What are you even trying to say?" He said.
She closed in on him; ignoring his closed doors and fixed her eyes with his.
"That I cared about him; but I wasn't in love with him. And I should have accepted that a hell of a lot sooner; for his sake, rather than mine."
"Nicely put, councillor." He said; a reluctance in his voice. He knew that she was good at bringing him down from a mood and he hated it, but he softened all the same, allowing her to lean into him, arms tracing his hairline.
"I knew this lawyer. Guy was jackass; but he knew how to string a sentence together," She played, a smile forming wickedly.
"You're a comedienne, you know that?" He said, frowning slightly.
"Just…kiss me, you grumpy old man,"
"Who are you calling old?" He accused, laughter peeling as he yanked her by the waist.
"Well you're…a little…older…than me." She faked an explanation. She just wanted him to laugh.
"Okay, a little. But I still don't like it." He said, he tension finally falling from his shoulders.
"I know." She said quietly. "I'm going anyway."
"Yeah I'm not going to fight you, so."
"Good, because last time you did you fell off the bed." She kissed him lightly making her way down the hallway.
"It was dark, I couldn't see," He called down the hall after her.
"I'm going now!" She yelled back. "And don't ask Ray to pick me up, let the guy have the evening off."
He rolled his eyes, but text Ray to take the night off all the same.
Hopefully another Chapter this week. It's so hard not to write every day, i'm trying to speed through!