Chapter XX
It wasn't even before the first week ended when a notice was hung in the Gryffindor room and everyone crowded around to see what it had to say.
All Hallows Eve Ball
Students are to be dressed in costume and wear a mask throughout the ball until Midnight.
There will be food, drinks, and music
Ball starts around Midnight
And the rest continue on saying for information on theme, they had to ask the Head Boy or/and Girl. Hermione saw when she got down that she saw a gaggle of girls surrounding both Remus and Lily as they bombard them with questions.
Remus saw Hermione above the bobbling heads and said, "Excuse me ladies." He said and rushed over to Hermione's side, grabbing her hand. "Looks like you needed to be rescue."
"You have no idea Mione, you have no idea." Remus whispered in her ear, feeling his hot breath tingled her flesh and made her want to go at him, right here on the floor, right in front of everyone. Remus seem to be thinking the same thing but said, "Later, in the shack, when everyone is told about the ball to be occupied and then we can be alone without any interruptions." She gave him a playful growl and he gave her a low purr against her neck.
The Halloween Ball had everyone excited as they talked about who they were going with and whom they were going to be as.
Most of the girls had been disappointed to hear Sirius had already taken after many asked him out and him saying he got one already and they were all trying to guess who it was while shooting the blame at almost any girl they saw and scheming to get back at her for stealing the 'Sirius Black'.
Keller and Hermione listen to the rumor and gossip mill of most of the girls as they made assumptions that Sirius was from cast under a love spell to engaged with someone foreign, most times looking in their direction and had to be reminded that one of them was already dating one of the Marauders but still leaving the other without an alibi and Keller could almost swear she felt all eyes on her.
During lunch in the Great Hall, she had spat and almost choked on her pumpkin juice when she heard a gaggle of Hufflepuff saying that Sirius was dating one because he must've gotten her pregnant.
Hermione watch Keller spitting out half her juice in her goblet, and choking with some in her throat before she was able to get it down and swallowed after hearing the last bit of the gossip mill leave.
Wow Keller, this is something. I wonder how they're going to react to seeing you being Sirius' date.
Don't remind me Mione, it's bad enough that everyone thinking we might be engaged but knocked up, com'n that's a bit overboard there! He just asked my out, not asked to marry me or have his baby for elder sake, I'm not ready for that sort of commitment!!
Keller, this time taking it really slow with her food in case she had another choking episode, listened in on Lily and Hermione discussing about their costumes for the ball.
"Well Lily, you did mention that the theme was likely of couples, whether from movies, books, plays whatever correct? I think I can convince Remus and I to go as either Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth Bennet from 'Pride and Prejudice' or Edmond Dantes and Mercédès from 'The Count of Monte Cristo', what do you think?"Lily said that she thought Remus would look handsome acting as Mr. Darcy or that it would be interesting to see him trying to be a dashing swashbuckler like Edmond Dantes with a sword and such. "What do you think Keller, which couple should Sonja be?"
Keller remembered her dad told her little of both stories back when she asked him to read all kinds to her. She thought Mr. Darcy was snobbish and that wasn't Remus neither was Edmond Dantes as he was more on the road for vengeance than for his love of Mercédès. She tried to think of another likely couple, one she thought would fit her cousin and her boyfriend.
"Ok how about you guys goes as Beauty and the Beast, from that film in 1946 by that French poet person which was basically said in French but you get the idea. It would seem to be an interesting thought you know."
"Hey you're right, that would be good, wouldn't you agree, Mademoiselle Belle." Hermione giggled as Lily said that she and James could help them while she help on her costume, which was to be based on Tristan and Iseult whom she thought was very romantic even if they die a tragic end. Hermione couldn't help but think of someone in her time that was to end up like that, dying tragic, sacrificing her love to protect and save her one child. While they were discussing this they asked Keller what her costume was going to be and she shrugged, "Beats me? Haven't gotta an idea for one yet."
And try to pretend not to see the look of pure shock on Hermione and Lily's faces as they tried to figure out a costume for her and Sirius.
"Ok, the Halloween ball, masquerade, masquerade, paper faces on parade…that's it! You should go as Christine and the Phantom, it would be perfect for you both!"
"What?" Keller asked and taking a look behind to see Sirius with the boys, trying to imagine him with a black suit, a black cape and white mask like the phantom himself. It didn't seem to go with her; no it was more for Remus and Christine for Hermione.
"Nah, you two would look way better as the phantom and Christine since I don't exactly like to sing operas too much."
Not from what I heard last time…Hermione send a look to her recalling the way she sing and thinking she could have sang any song she want, whether it was opera or something else.
"Well then how about Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth then, Sirius would be something like that…"
Keller tune her out and then closed her eyes humming 'Your song' and then thought of the movie, Moulin Rouge. She thought it was something as it had seem romantic, with a musical yet in the end had been tragic, but still was pretty good in her view. "Christian and Satine would be my choice I suppose."
Lily looked at her questioningly while Hermione looked pale as the words had left Keller's mouth before she could have reconsider what she said, "Whose Christian and Satine?"
Oops, she had said her thought out loud, damn. "Oh um, well it's about this young British poet, Christian, who falls in love with the star of the Moulin Rouge cabaret actress and courtesan, Satine." Yeah doesn't exactly have a happy ending but Lily didn't need to know that. Lily seem to be taken this in and said, "That would be interesting to see for Sirius as a poet and you a…you know, strange choice but sounds interesting. So are you going to tell him then?"
"Well I guess so, but not right now, not while all the piranhas are still looking for me and want to tear me to bits." Keller point to the back where some were still talking and thinking of ways to torture and kill said girl.
"The Moulin Rouge, you had to insist that you and Sirius goes as two characters from a movie that hasn't got out yet, especially with an actor and actress who hasn't started filming their first movies!"
"Look I said I was sorry! For the fiftieth time at least, sheesh." Keller yelled as they made it back to the dorm and sat on Keller's bed where they placed a silence charm on the door and talk. "Look I was just under pressure and you wanted me to be Christine and Elizabeth, I didn't know any other character unless you wanted us as Romeo and Juliet or Guinevere and Lancelot. It was the only thing that popped into my mind!"
She flopped on the bed beside Hermione. "Maybe I should just tell him no…"
Hermione pulled back her head and said, "I have an idea, be right back!" She said running out of the room, leaving a bewildered Keller as she watched her cousin one minute angry the next with a mischief grin.
Why did she have a bad feeling her cousin was up to something?
The week was passing by quickly and Halloween was just around the corner as many students went to Hogsmeade and bought their costumes. After much thinking and reconsidering, Hermione decided she and Remus would go as the Phantom and Christine from the duet of Don Juan Triumphant's 'Past the Point of No Return'. It was sensual and thrilling, with desire burning with each arousing words they said, nothing but pleasure shivers ensured her that this was the right choice for going as.
With the help of Desira and Lily at Gladsrag, she had been able to find her costume and heard Remus had been able to find one as well at a good price. She help Lily find a Celtic green dress matching her eyes with gold lining and a girdle and tiara with fake emeralds embedded. Hermione was able to find her cousin a costume and had seen her reluctant to try it on but soon did anyways and came out where the two girls and Desira were waiting. They were staring at her as if they didn't recognize her.
"It's absolutely gorgeous!" Lily was the first to say and Hermione was nodding, agreeing that the dress did look great and Desira was giving a few swish of her wand, to add some more sparkle to the beautiful dress. "It's divine and I'm sure you'll be turning a few heads Miss. Corvin."
"No I think her new name should be Diamond, Sparkling Diamonds."
James, Sirius, Peter and Remus were all in the boy's dorm changing into their costumes. Classes had been finished early and everyone was excited for the big Halloween ball.
"So Moony, how's things going with you and Sonja?" James said getting into the white tunic over himself and putting the clasp of his cloak. Sirius was dressed in a tux strangely as Keller had told him to do and asked why he was. "You'll see." She told him and that was about it, leaving much confuse but still did as she asked.
Peter was going as 'Bottom' the guy from Shakespeare's 'A Midsummer's Dream' and some girl from Hufflepuff had agreed to go out with him as a last resort and having to add donkey ears on his head and having to sound a bit 'hee haw' thanks to a charm Remus helped.
Remus was wearing a white ruffled undershirt with a black tailor coat with black slacks and close fitting gloves and boots and pulling on a black cloak and then to put the finishing touch, a black mask that was to cover about half his face past his nose and above his lips, below his chin.
He was pulling on his mask before turning to James, "Things are well for me and Sonja thanks, and I'm sure the same can be said for you and Lily correct?" James nodded while looking to Sirius who was trying to do something with his top hat, to cover half his face as to add an air of mystery as he stared lamely at his costume in the mirror, "Come on Padfoot, why are you exactly dressed like that? You can tell me."
"It's not my idea, it was Keller's I told you guys and she told me to wear this monkey suit and didn't exactly tell me what her costume was!" Scowling as his friends snickered before Remus looked to the clock. "Better get moving, I don't think the Marauder want to make a late entrance."
"Early, late whatever, we Marauders always knows how to make one!" Padfoot said as they went downstairs and waited for the girls before Lily and Hermione came out to be escorted to the Great Hall.
Hermione stood in the bathroom examining her costume one last time before coming out and seeing Lily in hers.
"Need a hand?" She asked as she saw Lily was trying to put her hair in a braid. Hermione pulled out her wand and flicked it and instantly became a perfectly tied braid.
"Thanks Sonja," She said after she put the tiara on and looked at herself before turning to Hermione. "Where's Keller, I hadn't seen her come in to change?"
Hermione shrugged, knowing what she was doing right now, "I think she's just getting ready."
"Ready for what?" And Hermione smiled, "You'll see, now come on, I'm sure the boys are waiting." And grabbed her hand and headed out the room to find the boys lounging on the couches waiting for them. James and the others were sitting by before Lily put her hands over his eyes and he turn to see her. "Wow, you girls look incredibly hot!"
"I'll say!" Peter tried to make a comment but his voice came out hawing at them and they giggled. Remus was staring at Hermione's costume. The dress was tight, but not too tight as to leave enough room for her to breath and not revealing little to the eye of his imagination. Imaging to rip that thing off and…later Moony later, you'll have plenty of time to do that, so try and keep your pants on. And took a quick peek down at his pants to see if any tent came popping up and thankfully hasn't…yet.
The dark red corset cupped and pushed her breasts perfectly into the white lace top with thin straps barely hanging onto her shoulders. Her skirt was long and shimmered gold, and a black lace shawl was tied around her waist. A rose was place in her hair while it hung down with loose soft curls framed her heart-shape face.
There was little make-up on her as she had mascara and her lips were painted seductively red and he was tempted to kiss her right there.
Merlin she looked incredible beautiful. And sexy to boot.
Sirius noticed his date missing and asked if they knew where she was, Lily said she had no clue and Hermione suggest that they should go in case Keller was already there. Sirius was slightly disappointed but tried to pretend that this wouldn't be a problem as they made it to the Great Hall where the ball was being held.
Hermione saw that the place was decorated with a thousand live bats flying about, orange streamer, everything she saw looked almost like she was use to seeing at the Halloween feast back in her time, only she saw the armor suits were enchant to move around, giving out treats.
Ghosts she never seen, like the Headless Horseman galloping in the room along with like a few singing ghosts who made up the wailing chorus. Hermione saw a large glowing full moon illumining above them on the enchanted ceiling, shining like a bright crystal globe.
Remus seem a bit paled by this but Hermione placed her hand on his and he instantly relax under her touch. She saw so many people, wearing costumes for couples from Shakespeare's 'Romeo and Juliet' to famous wizarding couples that she had yet to know about. She looked over to see Dumbledore talking with McGonagall, seeing they were both together for the night. He turn and saw Hermione and gave her a knowing wink as everything was ready and then looked up to the moon again.
Hermione return the smile and went to join the others as soon as everyone from the house came in.
When Dumbledore saw that everyone was here, he made to stand in the center, to speak loud and clear for everyone to hear, "I like to say, I hope everyone will enjoy this Hallow Eve Ball as I have a special treat I like to give for everyone. I'm certain that this will make the evening sparkle." And point his wand above his head to the bright moon.
"Relashio!" Fiery red sparks shoot up to the sky, causing the moon to explode and silver sparkles started to fall below. And there, sitting in where the moon had been was someone on a trapeze, the most gorgeous girl they've ever seen.
She wore a sparkling silver dress that had slit to her thighs, revealing little bit of skin to the eyes of everyone below, fishnet stockings with black heels and opera gloves. A top hat covered half her face along with the silver mask she wore.
Everyone watched entranced as she slowly sang in a seductive and enchanting voice, her lips were full and red as she captivated her audience.
The French are glad to die for love…
And as if on cue, Flitwick started up a band where enchanted trumpets and other instruments started up, going on a fast but catchy beat.
She started to swing from the trapeze as it was starting to lower itself down to the crowd.
A kiss on the hand
Maybe quite continental
But diamonds are a girl's best friend
She walked towards the people, swinging and swashing her hips to the beat, showing off her legs to the boys as they watched.
A kiss may be grand
But it won't pay the rental
On your humble flat or
Help you feed you mmm, pussycat
She strolled over to a group of girls and as if pretending to whisper the word while singing loudly for everyone to heard.
Men grow cold as girls grow old
And we all lose our charms in the end
But square cut or pear shaped
These rocks don't lose their shape
Diamonds are a girl's best friend
She saw Hermione and Lily in the crowd and gave them a wink and made to call out to them.
Tiffany
Cartier
And she moved towards a couple of boys and stroke one on their chin almost flirtingly, the girls watching jealous as she continue to play with their dates.
Because we are living
In a material world
And I am a material girl
And gave him a air kiss and turning away while he fell and his girlfriend started yelling at him. The girl started to sing some more pointing at two boys.
Come and get me boys. They zoomed in and picked her up in the offered arms and held her up in the air, making her jump, ooh
They marched her around as she started calling names as if they were in the crowd before setting her a top a table.
Black Star
Roscor
Talk to me people
Tell me all about it
Some people were whistling and cat-calling her as she started to do a mingle combination of tap-dancing and swing dancing to the crowd, while pulling off one her gloves and holding it in her hand then throwing it to the crowd only to be caught by Sirius.
There may come a time
When a lass needs a lawyer
But diamonds are a girl's best friend
There may come a time
When a hard boiled employer
Think you're awful nice
But get that ice or else no dice
The Marauders were watching her and Lily gave Hermione a knowing look. Hermione nodded to her to confirm her suspicion. Lily had to stifle a giggle as she watched as Sirius seem to be having drool hanging from his mouth, unaware that there standing on the stage, singing and dancing was his date.
Her number was almost finished and jumped down from the table and walking to where she had last seen Hermione and the Marauders.
'Cause that's when those louses
Go back to their spouses
Diamonds are a girl's best…
She said 'friend' softly as the music ended and she was standing in front of Sirius. "I believe you were expecting me, Mousier Christian. Or should I call you Mousier Padfoot."
Sirius eyes widen as he realized that the seductive voice that had been singing was standing in front of him and had called him, 'Padfoot' when he had never seen this girl before, unless…
He looked at her, the red hair somehow seem darker now after she finished her number but it was her eyes he was looking at closely. He saw that they were hazel under the silvery mask.
"Kel—" She put a gloved finger to his lips and whispered seductively in his ear, "It's Mademoiselle Satine or Sparkling Diamond if you would like to call me Mousier Padfoot."
Everyone watched them before Dumbledore rose to the crowd and clapping his hands, "Bravo, wonderful, stupendous. Witches and Wizards, I would like to introduce Madame Satine, the Sparkling Diamond. Everyone give her a round of applause!" Everyone did, even some wolf whistles and catcalls came through and Keller was lucky the mask was in place otherwise they would have seen her face turning bright red from all the attention she was getting.
The ball was in full swing as another band came on after her number and started to played while everyone else was dancing or sitting down and eating or talking and Keller was turning down yet again another boy after having danced with six already.
"Well that was bloody amazing! I didn't know you sing!" James said after they took a seat and were complimenting her or asking how she was able to do that.
Lily asked where she learned to sing like that and Keller shrugged her shoulders lazily, "I guess it paid off to listen to music a lot and having some sort of photographic memory you could say. Back home, I use to put the volume loud and gave me an air of ease whenever I listen to my favorite band. I liked all kinds of music so don't even get me start on which artist I like cause I can write two-three parchments I'd tell you." She pushed back her red-turned-back-to-black bangs from her eyes as she sat down and wanting to rest her poor abused feet from some of her clumsy partner and her high heels.
"So may we ask who you are Madame Satine or do we have to wait for your unveiling at midnight?" Sirius asked, flirting through he had watched jealously as he had seen her dance with the other boys after she did with him first of course.
Keller gave him a playful look and said in almost a French accent. "But Mousier 'adfoot, I'm zure you know that thee unveil moi now, zee magic I zold over you will disenchant you from moi spell, oui?" She and the others laughed before someone tapped her shoulder. She turned and found herself staring into the eyes of a stranger wearing a death-head skull mask.
"Bon Jour Mademoiselle Satine, I was wondering if I can asked you to honor me for a dance?" He bowed, taking off his plumed hat to her courtesy. At first she was going to say no and refuse but then sense a familiarity in the air around him and looked to his dark eyes. He was dressed in scarlet with a red velvet cloak that had embroidered in gold letters the bottom. "Do not touch me. I am the Red Death Passing by."
She nodded staring at his impassive face, "Oui, I'll be honored Mousier Red Death." And extended her hand and followed him out to the dance floor where she and the red stranger dance to the music. They edge quietly to the center as most people moved out of their way.
"I'm surprised to see you here, asking me to dance with you Severus." She said as Snape dip her then pulled her back up.
"Why, do you feel dishonored to be touched by Death?" He twirled her around before she said, "No, it's just some people see you as introvert to these sort of events, by the way you're pretty good, where did you learn to dance like this?"
"True as I rather be in the library but seeing how everyone is here and Madam Pince is the only one with the key so well it was rather be in my common room or here. If I had gone to the dungeon I would have missed your interesting performance which I must say was in its way very captivating." He pulled her against him, his hand on her waist, closing them in, "And I thank you for your compliment on my dancing as you are not that bad on the dance floor as well. And to answer your last question: I rather think I'm entitled to keep my own secrets just like you with your singing and shall we say your 'date'." He gave her a spin then held her still as they dance, "I saw you with BLACK and the others by the way and thought you did a much better job than the whole lot put together, the way they did not know the different between dancing and stomping is most annoying I bet..."
Keller flushed and looked to where Sirius was, sitting and watching her through the crowd while some girls try to ask him for a dance but him refuse on and on. She had seen that he hadn't been that bad dancing and he had been the only one decent enough who didn't go and grope her body up and down like all the others.
Elder and even half of those boys were in Gryffindor. She shudder repulsed but then relaxed as she felt Snape, her partner moving with her in a compatible step, his hands not roaming anywhere on her body, just gliding her to the soft steps of the dance. She looked at him and saw there was something absolutely different in his gaze. She wasn't sure but there was something in them that hadn't been there before.
It wasn't the mean, cold, calculating one that he usually had when he looked at everyone around him. It looked more like…
"Excuse me but I would like a dance with Madame Satine?" Sirius's voice cutting in her thoughts and felt herself pulled back and went straight into his arms again before turning her head around to see Snape looking at them with that deadly glare.
Not to her, to Sirius. She and Sirius danced again as then a slow song came on, making this to be almost the last song for the evening.
Sirius seem to have her floating on air as they moved with one another under the twilight enchant ceiling, midnight almost close to hand in another half hour or so. She saw many of the people leave the floor, leaving only a few and herself to dance.
She saw through the corner of her eyes, Hermione and Remus dancing, her smiling with eyes closed against him and Remus bending down and whispering in her ear and she look to him and nodded as they left the floor and disappeared from the hall.
Lily and James, knowing they looked to be in heaven right now as she moved closer to Sirius and could almost hear the beat of his heart. If this were to be the last song for tonight she would enjoy it until the last note. Her fingers reaching under his neck, touching his silky hair and then slowly was spun around twice then dipped, her eyes staring up at him heavy-lidded and feeling the urge to touch his face and kiss his lips.
And almost as if reading her thoughts he lean in and was inches away, his warm breath touching her lips and just when she was about to move in as well the music stopped and people were leaving the dance floor.
They stood in mid-pose, her body dipped so low and him leaning over her, nothing was said until she spoke, breaking the silences. "Sirius, um, could you…please let me up?" She said and before he had a chance to say anything after he help her stand, went outside to the entrance hall for air and trying to understand what was going on with her as the new feelings were rushing inside her.
Sirius stood there stunned before he reacted by going after her and started to call her name.
"Keller, Keller!" He went out to where she had gone and started searching around for her. Where in bloody blazes did she go? He went out to the hall and head to the corridor to see where she could have gone.
"Looks like you have finally lost it haven't you Black?" Sirius turned to find Snape, still in the red Death outfit but his mask off. It must be passed midnight or he just decided to take his mask off just to taunt him by showing his real face.
"I don't have time for you Snivellus!" He said turning around and going back to go look for her. "Oh but we do have much to discuss Black, I mean come now, you really shouldn't be toying with her now don't you agree?"
He turn around to stare at him, "What are you talking about and what makes you bloody say that, thinking I would do that!" He could almost see the cold gleam in those black bottomless eyes again.
"Four simple words: You can't have her." Sirius was taken aback by this, did Snivellus just said what he thought he said, "And what makes you so sure that I can't, why, do you want her then!" For a second he saw something flicker in his eyes, something he grew angry about and smash Snape against the wall.
"You dare to look at her like that with that look again and I'll bloody rip those eyes out!"
Snape gave a cold smirk, "Who, you or did you hope your friend, Remus would do it for you after you send me down to that tree and tried to sic your werewolf friend on me."
Sirius didn't heard the sound of clicking heels on the cobblestone or listened as Snape taunt him more as he kept yelling, "You better not tell anyone about this or I'll—"
"What send me down that tunnel again and get mauled by your werewolf companion. Oh don't worry Dumbledore warn me to keep my mouth close but it seems you need to learn better to keep yours shut around certain people like the one behind you." Snape looking over his shoulder and Sirius noticing his direct gaze turn his head slightly and saw Keller there, her mask in hand but staring at Sirius with a look of disbelief, confusion, and disbelief while other emotion whirled inside immediately that she had to keep in control as she asked him, her voice almost choking then making the words clearer for him to hear, "Is it true? Is what Severus saying true?"
He turn around, releasing his grip on Snape and with the look of anger still burning as she dare call this slimy greasy git by his first name, as if he deserved to be called like that at all?!
"So you're now calling him, 'Severus', since when are you on such nice bloody term with Snivellus?! Or were you like that also on the dance floor dancing with him!" But she ignored his questions and asked again her own in a much colder voice that he never heard from her before and scared him a bit, "Is Severus speaking the truth, did you allow him to see your friend in his condition! Is it bloody true or not! Answer me!" She yelled and Sirius felt he couldn't hold it back in any longer as he let his anger take over and gave it full force before he could reconsider it.
"So what, yes what the bloody fuck if it is, this asshole had it coming and he would most certainly deserve it if James hadn't saved him and Moony had—"
WHAM! Sirius felt his face turn to one side, the mask falling off, revealing a red mark slowly forming on his face from Keller's open hand slap, lightning fast blow to him with immense force that nearly knocked him to the floor. His feet feeling unsteady and then falling to the ground while turning to stare up at her, all his anger draining away as he looked at her with shock and surprise.
He saw that the once calm and secretive hazel had blindingly turn into black orbs of cold unfurling fury. Her eyes, screaming to be heartless and empty for any mercy that would have made anyone run for their lives if they knew what she was capable of doing to them if they didn't know the full force of her true nature.
"You stay away from me!" She cried when he tried to say something as she spoke in a voice grating with hate and betrayal that made his blood run cold with the words she said.
"I hate you Sirius Black! I hate you with all my heart! I never want to hear or speak to you ever again!" She yelled before turning away and running from the room, from him, away from everyone, from the party as she ran to the open grounds and to the forest.
Sirius stared in the direction Keller had gone, trying to get back to his feet but finding it hard as they felt unstable and finally able to gain some strength and move against the wall as he made to go out to the grounds, to find her and apologize to say how sorry he was.
But when he got there, all he saw was the silver mask lying on the ground, red streaks running through the eyeholes. He picked the mask up before the first drop of rain fell on it followed by another then another and soon it was pouring down on him but all he could think over inside his head was what he had done. "What have I done?"
Keller kept on running as she didn't care anymore about how her costume would get ruin or that her heels might twist her ankles. She plucked them off and toss them and ran barefoot, crying fresh hot tears down her face.
She didn't even feel the first droplets of rain as she ran out to the woods.
Seems like just
yesterday
you were a part of me
I used to stand so tall
I
used to be so strong
your arms around me tight
everything felt
so right
unbreakable, like nothing could go wrong
She felt her foot slip in the mud and fell to the ground, dirt and twigs sticking to her as she scrambled back up, not wiping away the muck but kept going.
She wanted to get as far away as possible. She didn't know why but her heart felt shattered and broken, betrayed and it was hard to find any room to breath in this tight captivity that she had to wear. Her claws extend and she instantly ripped the strap breaking it and felt it hanging loose and less tight than before but still unable to get rid of the choking feeling inside her.
No I can't
breathe, I can't sleep
I'm barely hangin' on
What did she do to deserve this? She couldn't think of many of the things that been forced to lead to this. Her mind was trying to find ways but all it lead was to a blank dead end. Because of what Sirius had gone and did to his friend behind his back.
But Sirius, how could he, to Remus, to Hermione, to her…how could he do this to them?
Here I am
once
again
I'm torn into pieces
can't deny it, can't pretend
just
thought you were the one
broken up, deep inside
but you wont
get to see the tears I cry
behind these hazel eyes
She had wanted her and Hermione's secret safe but that had been practical reveal after Remus had come out of the shack and found them and then James and Sirius.
Going to the shack to help rescue her cousin, leaving as Mione instructed her to and then finding James and Sirius waiting and knew she would have to tell them.
She told them just as much as she could about herself and felt an ease wash over her as if a great weight had been lifted off her and when Sirius asking her to go to the Hogsmeade instead of being repelled by being with a hybrid.
It made her feel alive inside but now all she felt was dead and broken.
I told you
everything
opened up and let you in
you made me feel
alright
for once in my life
now all that's left of me
is
what I pretend to be
sewed together but so broken up inside
Again she thought how could he? "Why? Why for god sake why?" She asked, crying. She felt her head was pounding like a war drum and wanted to be release of it all, wanted to end her pain and misery. But couldn't as she was too much afraid to even do something as cowardly as take her own life.
No I can't
breathe, no I can't sleep
I'm barely hangin' on
What would mom have said, what would dad have said, if they saw her like this? She knew what Drake would have said.
You let your emotion get to you and here you are staring at the barrel of the gun, waiting to get shot at!!
She slipped once more, feeling the stocking ripped and fall and didn't get up like last time and lay curled in a ball with her knees to her chest. She hadn't done that in a long time since Drake force her to feel what pain really was and made her understand what it meant if she let herself like this. But she couldn't help but whimper like a sad lost child under the pelting rain that fell on her.
Here I am
once
again
I'm torn into pieces
can't deny it, can't pretend
just
thought you were the one
broken up, deep inside
but you wont
get to see the tears I cry
behind these hazel eyes
How could Sirius do this to Remus? Who was next, Hermione, herself? Was he going to blab to anyone else if he didn't learn to keep his mouth shut? Drake's voice came back in her head, resounding and yelling until it seem her skull would break under the pressure of it all.
He used you, taunt you, made you think you could be something but he was only playing with you.
No he hadn't he didn't mean to!
He's a player and that's all he will ever be!
But he cared for me, he did, he made me laugh, made me smiled, made me feel…special.
He makes girls think they're special and then drops them like last week garbage before going after someone else. Face it Kell, you're last Tuesday special, time to move on!
Swallow me
then spit me out
for hated you I blame myself
seeing you, it
kills me now
though I don't cry on the outside anymore
anymore
It was true, she had to move on, Sirius had thought to use her and she wasn't going to anymore. Slowly she slipped out of the dress that she seem to have worn far too long, step out naked allowing the pouring rain to wash her body.
The rain, it almost reminded her of teardrops. Large heavy tears were falling from the sky as if angels were crying down on her. She allowed the cool wet droplet touch her, run down her skin and hair like a lover's touch.
There was one more thing to do to make this complete, to have her rejuvenation. She allowed the change, her wings snapping out of her back and flex them before taking flight to the forest, not to think anymore of what had happened as she open her hybrid eyes and howled, her anguished cry reaching to the poor creatures of the forest, not because they feared it but understood the sadness it cried.
Here
I am
once again
I'm torn into pieces
can't deny it, can't
pretend
just thought you were the one
broken up, deep
inside
but you wont get to see the tears I cry
behind these
hazel eyes
Here I am
once again
I'm torn into
pieces
can't deny it, can't pretend
just thought you were the
one
broken up, deep inside
but you wont get to see the tears I
cry
behind these hazel eyes