~o~

3

Fire and Ice

Everything went from warm and comforting to hot, much too hot. Burning. My skin was burning. I wanted to cry out, but I knew that if I did, he would only hurt me more.

His long, crimson hair stuck out in every direction and his green, cat-like eyes shone with anticipation. His teeth gleamed like milky-white fangs in the darkness as he smiled at my attempts to wriggle away. He was like a hungry cat playing with a mouse.

He grabbed me by the ankles and dragged me closer to him. "Where ya going, Kairi?" he sneered.

"Please," I whimpered, "Just stop." There were bright red burns all along my skin which his hands, in their fiery passion, had touched. And now he was trying to unzip my dress, as I'd known he would, eventually.

"Aw, come on, babe, we're just getting warmed up," he said, leering. He grabbed me and I cowered beneath his touch. I'd tried to fight, before… but he'd burnt me. Again and again and again…

"Why?" I whispered. "Why are you doing this to me?"

"Well…" He paused and pretended to think it over. "It's partly because I want my best friend back. So something has to be done about Sora. And this is the best way to piss him off, I think…" He leered at me. "Should be easy to turn him into a Heartless after this. And if it doesn't work, well… at least I enjoyed myself."

I closed my eyes and swallowed hard, bracing myself for the worst.

Suddenly, there was a shout, a thud, and Axel's hands were gone. My eyes flew open and I saw a tall figure shrouded in black, facing my captor with raised, clenched fists.

"Who are you?" Axel snarled.

The figure didn't respond. Instead, it raised a hand and a portal of darkness appeared to my left.

"Run," A deep, mysterious voice commanded.

I leapt to my feet, ignoring the fiery pain tearing across my skin, and ran into the portal without looking back. Darkness surrounded me, swirling and pulsating, cold and clammy…

There was darkness everywhere. The darkness pulled at my skin, it pulled at my soul… it wanted me for its own. And suddenly, it wasn't there at all… I wasn't there at all.

I could see my own body, encircled by swirling clouds of darkness. It was very young—about fourteen. My hair reached only to my chin, my face was round and sweet, and I was still… too still. My body was limp and lifeless. The darkness would overtake it, soon. I wanted to scream, but if I wasn't in my body, then how was I there at all? Did I even have a voice?

And then a pair of bright, aqua eyes shone from somewhere in the blackness. The eyes became a head, a chest, arms, and legs as Riku came closer. He looked young, too—about fifteen. His expression was hardened—far too hardened for a boy so young. But panic widened his eyes as he saw my body, lying there, fading away…

A look of fierce determination spread across his face and in a single bound, he was at my side. He gritted his teeth and thrust his hands into the darkness, directly beneath my body. The darkness swirled, faster and faster around his arms they plunged beneath my lifeless figure.

And then he began to pull me upward, out of the darkness that clung to me so tightly. It seemed as though it were angry now; fronds of it clung to my arms and legs. But Riku was determined…. And as he pulled on me with all his might, the darkness began to release me from its terrible grasp.

And finally I was free. Riku stood there with my limp figure in his arms, his face shining with triumph.

The light that shone from us into the infinite blackness was almost blinding. Riku cradled my head against his chest, then turned and carried me away, deeper into the dark realm...

"Kairi," his voice said, echoing and oddly distant. "Kairi, it's okay! It's okay; I'm here! Stop it! Wake up!"

And suddenly I was in my bed again, tangled and twisted in my sheets. I was covered in sweat and gasping for breath.

Riku was leaning over me with wide, anxious eyes. "Hey, are you okay?"

"Yeah," I said, shuddering and working to sit up, though I was trembling all over.

His mouth was a hard, thin line. "You were whimpering and talking and thrashing around like crazy. I kept shaking you, but you wouldn't wake up."

I was quaking so hard that my teeth were rattling. I reached up to wipe a river of tears from my cheeks. I was startled to find that my skin was as cold as ice. "T-Talking?"

"Yeah…"

"What did I s-s-say?" I stammered.

He gave me an inquisitive look. "Well… just my name, over and over."

"Oh," I said, leaning back and taking a few deep, steadying breaths.

He waited patiently, watching me curiously in the milky moonlight. Finally, after I had calmed down somewhat, he asked, "So… what was it about?"

I looked down at my hands. "What was what about?" I asked evasively. I didn't want to tell him… not everything anyway…

"Your dream, Kairi," he said, placing his fingers beneath my chin and lifting my face. "I think I deserve to know, since I was obviously the main character. I mean, who wouldn't want to dream about me, but still…" He grinned at me. "Kinda creepy."

"Oh brother. You weren't even the main character," I said with a short, unsteady laugh.

His smile faded. "Oh. Well then who was?"

I took a breath, then bit my lip. How could I tell him about Axel? The first part of the dream had been a flashback more or less… a dark part of my past that I never wanted to tell anyone about. Then again… I could just tell him that I'd dreamed about my kidnapping and make it sound as innocent as possible. I doubted that he even knew who the villain was, anyway.

"Axel," I said, trying to sound nonchalant, though the name felt slimy on my tongue.

His reaction caught me totally off guard. Rather than inquiring further, he balled his hands up into fists and narrowed his eyes to slits of hatred. His entire face went pale with rage.

"What did you say?" His voice shook with fury.

I was genuinely terrified of this new, demonic version of Riku. My eyes were wide with fear as I whispered, "Axel," for the second time.

Riku sat back and closed his eyes, but not before I saw icy hatred burning inside them.

"Riku…" I said, tentatively, "What's wrong?"

"You know what's wrong better than anyone." His voice shook. He exhaled heavily. "I guess that explains why you were screaming at first…"

"Wait," I said, desperately trying to catch his eye, "how… how do you know? About… him?"

He seethed in silence.

Suddenly, I had an epiphany. My mouth fell open and my eyes widened with sudden understanding. "Riku…" I breathed, then reached for his arm again, "Riku, was that you?!"

"What are you talking about?" He was still chalky-white with fury.

"The man in the black—who saved me. Was it you?"

Riku finally looked up; there was still agony in his eyes. "Yes. It was me. I only wish I'd gotten there sooner." He looked at his hands.

"Wait," I said. "You saved me twice! The first time Axel came for me, on the beach, you opened a portal, and… you were the one who whistled! You called Pluto! And I followed him and ended up in Twilight Town!"

"Yeah, but…" he sighed. "It didn't do a lot of good. He found you there, anyway. I'm… so sorry, Kairi."

"Sorry? What for? You saved me. If it weren't for you, I would have been…" I blinked quickly at the tears forming in the corners of my eyes.

"You pretty much already were… I saw the burns…" Suddenly, his teeth were bared again and his eyes were filled with icy fury. "That dirty bastard. If he hadn't weaseled out of my grasp, I would have killed him with my bare hands, right on the spot…"

He was so furious that he was shaking. I reached out to stroke his arm with my clammy hand. "It's alright. You did what you could... and spared me a lot of grief. So thank you."

He sat there in silence, taking deep, calming breaths. "It's just so… infuriating. The idea of someone hurting you." He closed his eyes. "Just thinking about it… even now… it makes me sick."

"It's okay," I said, finding his hand. "It turned out alright, thanks to you. And I owe you my life…" I paused as another idea came to me. "Riku, after our island got swallowed up and I lost my heart, how did you keep my body from fading into darkness? Or turning into a Nobody?"

He looked up at me, surprised at the sudden change of conversation. "I looked for you. For a long time. And I finally found you in the dark realm… with Maleficent's help." He grimaced.

"Oh."

"Why do you ask?"

"Well… I dreamt about it. I could see my body, lying there… and then you came and picked me up before I faded away…"

He sighed. "I was so scared. I was scared that I'd never see you smile again, or hear you laugh. You were just… limp and lifeless. Once in a while I could prop you into a sitting position or something, but for the most part you were just an empty shell."

I massaged his hand in mine. "Why did you do it? Didn't you ever think that maybe you should just… let me go?"

He stared at me incredulously. "Of course not."

"But what if there'd been no way to get my heart back?" I inquired.

"Kairi," he said, exasperated, "failure was never an option. I was willing to do anything to get you back. I tried stealing hearts… uniting them…breaking them. I learned to use the power of darkness so that I could control the Heartless and gain the power I thought I needed to bring you back. I would never have given up, ever. No matter what."

I was touched. I could only stare at him, speechless, for what felt like an eternity.

"Kairi?" he asked. I could see him raise an eyebrow, even in the dark. He leaned over and turned my lamp on, flooding the room with light.

"I never knew," I finally said in a trembling voice. "I never knew that you cared so much. I always thought you were just jealous of… him."

Riku shrugged. "I was, I guess. But that doesn't mean I wasn't terrified of losing you."

I smiled at him and gazed into his deep, thoughtful eyes. I owed him so much… why hadn't I ever realized it until now?

I laid down again, with his hand still firmly clasped in my own. My eyelids were heavy with exhaustion.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Riku asked.

I nodded, then smiled at him. "As long as you're here," I said softly.

He smiled back at me, then reached over and turned off my lamp. As the darkness pressed around us, I was no longer afraid—Riku was with me and he'd never let it hurt me. Ever.

As I drifted off, I was suddenly aware of a heavy grating, grinding sound. I wasn't sure if I was asleep, but I definitely couldn't be awake… The sound resonated through my subconscious, then was joined with a fuzzy image. A heavy white door was closing on a perfect, aqua-eyed face.

This memory wasn't mine. But then… whose was it?

"Take care of her," Riku said. Then the door closed.

~o~

"AHHHHHHHHHHHH! What the—? Eeeeek!"

I shot up out of bed, my heart pounding, and frantically tried to locate the source of all the panicked screaming. I realized with a start that it was Yuffie. She was standing in the open doorway, her eyes as wide and round as dinner plates, her fingers clutching her face and her breath coming in short, rapid gasps.

I looked down and saw Riku's still, sleeping form beside me, and realized that his fingers were still intertwined with mine.

Aw, crap.

"Princess Kairi," Yuffie said in a low, trembling, sarcastic voice, "I'm ever sorry if this sounds a tad bit disrespectful... but can you please be so kind as to tell me… what the hell is going on here?"

"Shut up, Yuffie, please be quiet!" I begged. "Close the door!"

She just stared.

"That's an order."

Yuffie's eyes didn't leave the sleeping boy, but she slowly reached out, placed a hand on the door, and slammed it shut.

"O-kay," she slowly, steadily. "Now it's your turn, M'lady. You've got some explaining to do. Who is that, exactly? And why is he in your bed?"

I sighed and braced myself for an onslaught of questions. "Yuffie, this is my dear friend Riku."

"Riku?!" She gasped. Her eyes traveled back and forth between us. "You mean this is Riku?!"

"Yeah. He came to see me last night."

Her mouth fell open.

"Yuffie, you can't tell anyone about this. Not a soul. Not even Leon, or Aerith, or anybody. Got it?"

She just stood there like a fish, mouth open, eyes popping.

"Um, some reassurance would be great at this point."

"Kairi," Yuffie breathed, putting a hand against the wall to steady herself. She looked like she was about to pass out. I wondered if I needed to get her a paper bag to breathe into.

"It's okay, Yuffie," I said, laughing. "Calm down."

"Calm down?!" she very nearly shrieked. "You want me to calm down when I find the princess in bed with some kid off the street?"

The smile fell off my face. "In bed—? No... No! Yuffie, it's not like that. Look at me, I'm still in my gown from last night, for crying out loud!"

Her eyes fell on the top of my sleeveless blue gown, but then came to rest on our hands, locked sweetly together.

"Riku and I are just friends," I went on. "He needed a place to sleep and I wouldn't let him leave. Now will you please be quiet, Yuffie? You're going to send someone running!"

I felt Riku stir beside me. I looked down at him and found that his eyes were wide open, his eyebrows arched in surprise. "Sorry we woke you," I said soothingly.

He snorted and sat up. Then he cast a scathing look at Yuffie and said, "I knew I shouldn't have stayed."

She came out of her shock, put her hands on her hips, and growled, "Damn right! I don't know who you think you are! Kairi's a princess now!"

"Yuffie!" I snapped, then grabbed Riku's hand as he slid off my bed and stood up to leave. "I asked him to!"

"Well you shouldn't have!" she cried. "What if Chancellor Tsukada found out? What if Setzer found out?!"

I scowled at her. "Then maybe he'd leave and good riddance to him!"

"He'd tell everyone. He'd ruin your reputation."

"Arghh!" I growled, slamming my fist down on the bed. "There's nothing to tell!" I yelled, forgetting my own admonition to be quiet. This was all such a stupid, impossible mess. How had I let this happen?

"No, she's right, Kairi," Riku suddenly said, looking out the window with a bitter expression on his face. "I should go."

"Don't you dare," I said, forcing as much venom into the words as I could.

Yuffie had a hand over her eyes and she was taking deep, even breaths. "No..." she finally managed to say. "No... Riku. You should stay. She's been waiting for you and Sora for so long... you shouldn't go, now."

He looked up at her in surprise, then suspicion.

"Finally, somebody gets it!" I said, slumping back onto my pillows with a sigh of relief. It was nice to know that my one true ally in this world hadn't turned against me, after all.

"Well..." His eyes were still narrowed. He looked at me and said, "I'll come back tonight. I promise, Kairi. Please understand. I can't just stay bottled up in your room all day—I've got to shower and shave and get out and stretch my legs."

I thought about it for a moment, then sighed in defeat. "How will you get out?"

"Same way I got in. I'll just sneak across the grounds and climb the castle walls." He gave me a crooked grin.

"The guards will see you!" Yuffie said crossly.

He rolled his eyes. "I can be invisible when I want to be. And besides, your guards are usually asleep anyway. It'll be easy."

I looked at him, the corners of my mouth turned down with concern.

"Don't worry about me, Kairi," Riku sighed. "I never get caught." He leaned over, brushed my bangs out of the way with one hand, and kissed my forehead sweetly. I smiled and closed my eyes at his touch, though his fingers were almost as rough as his stubbly chin against my skin.

Yuffie growled.

Riku walked across the room, opened my window, then gracefully swung himself outside. He gave me an encouraging smile before disappearing from sight, leaving the window open and an icy breeze flowing in.

"Humph!" Yuffie said, stalking across the floor and slamming it shut.

I sighed and flopped back down on my bed. It would be such a long day, waiting...

"Alright, get up," Yuffie said grumpily. I could tell that she was very, very upset. "You've got a big day planned. You're going on a carriage ride with Setzer."

"What!?" I gasped. "Oh, no! Yuffie, please say you're joking."

"Nope. And you deserve it, missy."

I groaned and covered my face with one hand. "This can't be happening."

"Well it is, so get up," she repeated, walking into my closet to pick out another gown.

I climbed out of bed and steadied myself on my night table. My stomach was already churning at the thought of spending an entire day with Setzer.

Yuffie came out of my closet, carrying a bright teal gown with tiny cap sleeves and a graceful train. She scowled at me, then her eyes raked up and down my figure. "That was a brand new dress. Now just look at it!" she growled.

I looked down at myself. The satin was wrinkled, as well as all the fluffy gauze beneath the skirt.

I scowled back at her. "Oh, sorry about that. I should have just slipped it off and slept in my underwear. That would have been interesting."

Her eyebrows shot up, then with another "Humph!" she ripped the gown off its hanger and tossed it to me.

Before dressing, I went into my spacious, echoing bathroom and took a quick shower. Yuffie waited patiently as I blow-dried my hair.

After I had slipped into the teal dress, she sat me down in a stool and began ripping a brush though my tangled hair. When I winced and asked, "Are you trying to rip all my hair out so you can sell it to Locks of Love?" she only growled and pulled harder.

She braided the hair on top of my head, then wove it all into an intricate knot at the base of my skull. She left a few long, dark red strands out, which she then attacked with her curling iron and bottle of hairspray.

"Doesn't your hair ever curl?" she complained after another ringlet sagged.

"Nope."

Finally she managed to produce a few loose ringlets that were more product than hair. Then she unplugged her iron with satisfaction.

"Your white wedge heels," she said, snapping and pointing to my closet. "And then it's down to breakfast, with you."

I could feel the gloomy expression on my face as I entered the dining hall. Chancellor Tsukada and Setzer both jumped to their feet when they saw me come in. They waited until I had sat down to return to their seats again. Setzer wore another ridiculous looking peacock suit.

"Princess Kairi," he greeted me with a low bow. "Radiant as ever, I see." Last night's events seemed to have been forgotten.

I grimaced.

The morning dragged by and try as I might, I could not concentrate on any of Setzer's babbling today. It was a good thing Chancellor Tsukada was there, or else I would have been called upon to comment. Finally breakfast was over and I took my escape.

I ran up to my room, opened the door, and slammed it shut behind me with a sigh of relief. Then I noticed that Yuffie and Aerith were sitting on my bed, their arms folded and legs crossed. Yuffie was still scowling.

I looked back and forth between them, then sighed. "Yuffie, I told you not to tell anyone."

"I only told Aerith and Leon," she growled, as though that was the best she could do.

I rolled my eyes. "Well? What do you want?" I asked sourly, looking at one of the paintings on the wall rather than the faces of my friends.

Aerith stood up and in her usual benign way, said, "We're just a little confused, Kairi."

"About what?" I wondered, glancing at her.

"Well..." Yuffie stood up and began pacing. "It's like this. We thought that you were waiting for Sora. He's our friend too and we want him to find you again and be happy. But you... you're not being faithful to him." There was accusation in her voice.

"What?" I growled. "I told you, Yuffie it's not like that! Riku and I are just friends!"

"He kissed you," She snapped. "I saw him!"

I scowled. "On the forehead! He's like a brother to me!"

"That's not what it looked like to me," Yuffie said firmly. She turned to Aerith and said, "You should have seen the look on his face. And the way he touched her. There was nothing brotherly about it." She sniffed disdainfully and looked down her nose at me at me. "If Riku had been a girl, he wouldn't have touched you like that, even if you were good friends. You two wouldn't have held hands in your sleep, either. Think about it."

Her words stabbed at me, but I couldn't deny them. I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came out.

"Yuffie, that may be a little harsh," Aerith said kindly. She came over to me and placed her hand on my shoulder. "We don't know all the details, after all."

Yuffie frowned. "I just think Sora deserves better."

They waited for me to speak for what felt like eternity. Their silence hurt more than their accusations. I stood rooted to the spot, shock paralyzing me. It couldn't be true. It just couldn't.

"You don't know anything," I mumbled, my voice shaking with anger. "And maybe you should mind your own business, for once."

"What?" Yuffie growled, her fiery temper flaring suddenly. "It is my business."

"No it's not," I said angrily. Aerith looked startled; she was such a sweet-tempered, quiet person. She didn't like confrontations, and Yuffie and I hadn't ever sniped at each other like this. Aerith looked at the floor.

"It is too my business 'cause Sora and I are friends," Yuffie repeated, drawing herself up with pride. Something about that set me off.

"Oh yeah?" I sneered, and suddenly I was on my feet and my hands were trembling with an unfamiliar fury. "You're his 'friend' huh? You've loved him since before you can remember? You spent nearly every waking moment with him for nine years? You were chased in and out of portals of darkness, looking for him risking your life for him? You want him so bad that you go sleep every night with tears running down your face because he's not there?"

They gaped at me.

When I spoke again my voice was quieter, more controlled. "Don't ever say those things again. You are not Sora's friend. You have no idea what it's like to be Sora's friend. You'll never know until he's been taken away from you more times than you can count. And you have no idea what you're talking about."

A very, very long and awkward moment passed. I looked at the floor.

"Come on, Yuffie," Aerith finally said in her patient, gentle way. "She wants to be alone."

Obviously.

I heard them leave and close the door behind them. They were so sure of their theory, so quick to criticize. What did they know, anyway?

And so what if my feelings toward Riku were something more than friendship, now? Wasn't that better than having no one at all?

And what if Sora, who I was so patiently waiting for, never showed up? I knew that the love I felt for Riku was nothing compared to the burning passion I felt for Sora, even after all this time. But didn't I deserve happiness in some form, if not another? And if I didn't give myself that, I'd end up with Setzer, for crying out loud.

Was that what they wanted? Was that what Sora wanted?

I wouldn't let myself believe it.

I could feel something now, something that was never meant to be. My heart, which had always been so devotedly whole, seemed to be splitting at the seam. I tried to ignore the feeling, but it wouldn't go away.