"Spock, I need your help with something," Kirk said quietly, tapping him on the shoulder. Realizing he was trying to be discrete, Spock closed up the panel he'd been working on and followed him wordlessly towards a cargo bay. When they got there, Kirk entered his code and waited until the doors closed behind him before speaking,
"We need to get the shuttle loaded with the supplies we're bringing down to the colony tomorrow."
"Is this a secret?" Spock asked, a little bit confused, "Certainly the entire crew knows that bringing aid is the reason we are visiting Vulcan."
"But they don't know the nature of what we're bringing."
Spock cocked his head curiously, and looked at Kirk, who was wearing a very business-like expression,
"What exactly are we bringing?"
"Mostly pharmaceuticals," Kirk replied, "It's not that I don't trust the crew or anything, but some of it has street value, and I don't know what I'd do if something went missing, so it's best to avoid the situation altogether."
Kirk said this rather quickly, as if it had been a difficult decision to come to.
"Street value?" Spock asked.
"Like this," Kirk replied, shaking off his secretive demeanor and giving Spock a bit of a wink, "I tried this once at a brothel on Rondax III."
Kirk pulled a vial of white pills out of a box and brandished it,
"I tore three ligaments, and got that rotator cuff injury, mind you-- "
"The one you claimed you got golfing," Spock stated with slight amusement.
"Yeah, that one," Kirk continued with a smirk, "I always thought you doubted my story. But man, it was some night."
Kirk gave the tube one last glance and put it back into the box with a shrug,
"But I wonder why the Vulcans want it?" he mused, "I mean, I it must do something different to them. And they sent ten milligram tablets, even octogenarians don't take that much ..."
"It does not have a different effect," Spock said suddenly.
"Why, have you tried it?" Kirk teased. Spock did his best to give him a dirty look.
"I mean biologically, there is no reason it should."
"Okay," Kirk joked, "I will try and purge the image of half the Vulcan elders getting randy with the other half of the Vulcan elders from my head then."
Suddenly, Spock became serious.
"If I told you something, would you promise to keep it to yourself?" he asked Kirk nervously.
Kirk looked a bit annoyed at this question.
"Have I ever told anyone anything you've told me in confidence?" he demanded.
"This is a different type of confidence," Spock spoke in monotone, "Something that is potentially politically sensitive. Something you cannot reveal even if it you feel it is in my best interest."
Spock suspected that more than a few fights with Nyota had been resolved by Kirk relaying pieces of their conversations to her.
"I will not tell anyone," Kirk replied simply.
Spock inhaled sharply,
"This ... this ... is difficult to explain..." he stammered before composing himself, "Do you know how Vulcans reproduce?"
Spock turned to look at Kirk, trying not to let his embarrassment show.
"Well, babies get delivered by storks or grow in cabbage patches, or something like that, from what I've been able to get out of you."
Spock ignored the jibe and looked pointedly over Kirk's head.
"It is a lot like what happens to humans, except there is a mating season ..."
"A mating season?" Kirk looked genuinely curious.
"Yes, and Vulcans – full Vulcans that is," Spock added, answering Jim's inevitable next question, "Cannot mate outside of the season."
"Can't or don't want to?" Kirk asked.
"They cannot physically perform," Spock stated.
Kirk seemed to find this piece of information alarming. He stacked a few boxes before continuing.
"And when is this mating season?" he asked, with a bit of a twinkle in his eye, as if he was planning to attend—or force Spock to.
"Every seven years."
Kirk looked shocked for a minute or so, and then there was a look of realization on his face,
"I see, and they asked for stimulants so that they can start re-populating sooner."
Spock nodded,
"Some couples have conceived using other methods, but it has not been very effective."
Kirk posed to speak, but then stopped himself, and started with the boxes again.
"On Vulcan, before it was destroyed," Kirk asked finally, "Would people always have children seven years apart?"
Spock paused, embarrassed, trying to think of a good euphemism,
"That was uncommon. As with humans, mating does not 'take' every time."
"So Vulcans don't really have siblings," Kirk mused curiously.
"Not in the way humans do," Spock snapped. Kirk was encroaching on a fear that had been bothering him for some time.
"But they will on New Vulcan," Kirk said quietly, "That's a bit sad, isn't it."
"I do not see how it is sad," Spock countered. He knew plain well what Kirk meant, but wanted to avoid it.
"I mean, you've told me so many stories about growing up in a big extended family and being the only kid and getting a lot of attention and stuff ... and that's not going to happen anymore ... it'll be more like humans with one or two parents and lots of kids."
"It will be a very different world," Spock agreed mildly, "But it might be for the better, I am having trouble imagining social change for the worse."
"Spock!," Kirk chided, "I know they've mistreated you, but they can't possibly be that bad."
Spock shrugged and recorded the latest box Kirk had moved on the manifest.
"And it's still sad, isn't it."
Spock agreed, but didn't say anything.
*****
A few hours later, Kirk and Spock were still loading boxes. Kirk was lifting them into the shuttle and with his good arm, Spock was photographing them, scanning them and adding them to the manifest.
"How do you think Nyota's going to like your father?" Kirk asked.
Spock bristled. He wished Kirk would stick to the easy questions.
"I am concerned, but she is trying to convince me not to be," Spock summarized the best he could.
"Nothing a blowjob can't solve?" Kirk asked with a wink.
Something inside Spock didn't quite break, but began to bend and sway a little.
"Why do you always trivialize ..." he demanded and then trailed off.
"Trivialize what?" Kirk asked pointedly.
My feelings for her had been the original end of the sentence, but now Spock was too ashamed to say it.
"My relationship," he replied finally.
"Your relationship," Kirk repeated.
Spock felt nervous, and internally began to chastise himself. Why had he picked a topic he was so uncomfortable with to lash out about? He didn't think he could ever explain it to Kirk. How he had never wanted to sleep with her in the first place. How he had been so ashamed of his desires. Their love had seemed so good and pure he hadn't wanted to mar it with bodily contact.
Being her instructor had been the perfect excuse. Spock thought he might have been too afraid to get involved with her if there hadn't been that rigid rule separating them. Of course, she had resisted it, suggesting that they indulge, just a little, just once. But Spock didn't trust her desires. She didn't truly want him to defile her? Spock couldn't quite reconcile their beautiful friendship with his ugly, burning desires.
Of course, once he returned to the ship, Spock couldn't depend on the rules any longer. In a small way, Kirk had saved him. On his first day back, before he had even had a chance to speak with Nyota, Kirk had cornered him.
"Tell her you couldn't do it," he coached Spock, "Tell her you couldn't leave her."
"There were a number of considerations--" Spock had replied, but Kirk had cut him off.
"Just tell her you couldn't do it," he had insisted, "Trust me on this one."
When Spock entered Nyota's quarters, she was angry.
"So you're back," she had said lividly with pursed lips, as if she was expecting him to tell her that he had only left because the Vulcans had rejected him. Spock's mind went blank, but then he remembered what Kirk had told him.
"I could not do it," he had said, "I could not bring myself to leave you."
"Really?" she had asked, her voice softening substantially.
Spock nodded, and then realized that he had told the truth.
"Oh Spock," Nyota had whispered, burying her head into his chest.
Eventually, she had brought him into her bedroom. She had turned out all the lights, even the ambient ones that simulated what humans considered to be dark. She seemed to realize that Spock was self-conscious about his body. She stripped down and removed his clothes in what he thought was a very efficient fashion. Then she lay in bed and pulled Spock down on top of her.
At first, it felt like nothing different, they were just lying in bed and kissing like they always did, but soon Spock was raging. He entered her without really thinking, without really considering the consequences. She moaned, and he kept kissing and pumping, faster and faster, harder and harder until he was enveloped by a cloud of ecstasy. Spock rolled off and clutched on to her, almost afraid she would leave because she was disgusted by what he had done. But she put her arms around him and nibbled at his ears.
The act had quelled Spock's rage, but not killed it, and Nyota sensed this. She pulled away and mounted him. The second time, Spock was less reserved. He touched every inch of her body. Under his breath, he growled.
"You love me, don't you," Nyota had whispered afterwards. It was more of a statement than a question, and Spock didn't answer. Instead, he pulled her as close as he could, and kissed her shoulders lightly.
Spock worried that when he woke up, he would be awash in shame, but strangely he wasn't. It had been dark, and it had been the middle of the night and they had been alone. No one would have to know. And disconcertingly, a part of him, he assumed a human part, felt almost proud of what he had done.
When Nyota awoke, she smiled at him.
"You know you're still in trouble," she had said as she kissed him and ran her hands across his body. Spock wasn't worried. Any trouble that involved her smiling while she touched him was something he could live with.
In the cargo bay, Spock stared Kirk down. Then he made a sudden realization.
"You are jealous," Spock spat.
"Am not," Jim said, turning to lift a box.
"Then why are you so obnoxious about her?" Spock demanded.
" Okay, okay ... maybe ..." Kirk lifted his hand, and gestured 'a bit'.
"Why?" Spock asked a little more angrily than he intended, "You can have any girl you want, why focus on the one ..."
"That is not true," Kirk interjected, "I can have any girl that wants me. That just happens to be a lot."
Kirk smiled proudly to himself, as he said this, but his expression darkened.
"Then why do you not pick one of them?" Spock snapped. Kirk looked at him incredulously.
"Spock, I am not after your girlfriend. It's just that all the girls I get don't actually like me. I mean, they like me because I'm a starship captain, or before that they liked me because I was a 'bad boy', but they never actually like me. And sometimes, I just wish I could meet – not your girlfriend in particular, but, you know, the sort of girl that makes you soup."
Spock pondered this. He didn't feel particularily sympathetic, but perhaps he was still worried about Kirk making a pass at Nyota.
"At the Academy," Spock said finally, "I was approached by several students who made advances based on fantasies of sleeping with their professor."
"But they don't care which professor," Kirk said, "That's it exactly!"
He moved another box before saying,
"And you met a girl that wasn't like that. I think you've made me feel better, Spock."
Spock paused.
"Do you want my honest opinion," he asked Kirk finally.
"Why the hell not?" Kirk replied, throwing a hand over his shoulder.
"I think you do it to yourself."
"I know," Kirk said, "That's the worst part."
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A/N: I love reviews, even those of the "I assume this is in the alternate universe where" variety. Just thought I'd throw that out there :)