Chapter 1

Cassandra Shepard awoke with a start, bolting upright in the bed. She breathed heavily and looked around her, reorienting herself. Of course. She wasn't on the Collector Base. She was in their bedroom, their quarters on the Destiny Ascension, temporary meeting place of the Citadel Council.

Liara stirred lightly beside her. Whenever she awoke from her nightmares, Liara always woke up with her. A by-product of their joining, their partnership, their marriage. They were almost always in sync with another, often not even needing to speak to understand the other. It was uncanny but not eerie. Joining, bonding, making love with her was an indescribable experience. She hadn't been prepared for how much it would change her life.

On the Normandy she'd quickly developed feelings for Liara. Feelings she realized alarmingly went beyond mere physical attraction, feelings that reminded her of Aisha. She wanted to resist, but she was irresistibly drawn to Liara, like a moth to an inferno. That night before Illos when they'd made love the first time and their minds had joined...The sensations were indescribable. It was an unfathomable level of intimacy. Never again would she indulge herself with commitment free encounters. No, going back to that way of life would be an insult to both of them. Yes, this was love. Unbreakable, inescapable.

"Which one was it this time?" Liara asked quietly. She reached up and caressed Cassandra's long, black silken hair. Civilian life had allowed her to grow her hair long for once. Both of them preferred it long, it looked more natural. Her short hair always looked awkward.

"The one on the Collector Base..." Cassandra answered quietly. "Everyone's dead except me and the human Reaper shows up... and it's got my face." Despite how many times she'd had this particular nightmare, it still shook her. There were a dozen other nightmares that reoccurred to her, all relating to some incident or place in her past. Dying on the Normandy SR-1 was another frequent one. The nightmares came to her at least twice a week. Months of therapy had done little to alleviate their reoccurrences.

She lay down and embraced Liara. They kissed lightly. There were times the only comfort she could find was in Liara's arms. She kissed Liara's neck and throat. Liara moaned lightly. She kissed Liara's body through the silken fabric of nightwear until she came to Liara's burgeoning pregnant belly. She placed her ear against it.

"I can hear her heart beating." Cassandra said quietly. "I bet you little Aisha's sleeping peacefully in there."

"Yes, I'm sure she is." Liara answered back, caressing her hair as she continued to listen to two heartbeats. The pregnancy was seeming to last forever. Liara's only complaint was how she was almost immobile in her advanced state of pregnancy. Her back ached nearly constantly, and she was either bedridden or forced to move around in a hover chair.

Cassandra did everything she could think to comfort her and to cater to her needs. Yesterday she'd attached her keyboard to the hover chair, allowing Liara to play the piano. She was becoming quite a talented player, she'd recently mastered all of Liszt's Hungarian Rhapsodies. She'd made some recordings of her music under a pseudonym and they'd sold fairly well, most critics found her playing quite emotional but lacking in technique which was the opposite of her own evaluation of her skills. Maybe a career as a pianist was ahead of her. Archaeology held little interest for her now, being married to one of the most powerful and recognized people in the galaxy made being an intelligence broker all but impossible, a new career, a new path was needed. Perhaps it lay in music.

"Another ten weeks." Cassandra said quietly.

"Yes." Liara said warmly. "And we'll welcome Aisha T'soni-Shepard to the world."

"I still can't believe it." She said wistfully. "I'm gonna be a mommy!"

"Yes!" Liara answered happily. Cassandra didn't need to look up to know she was smiling. They'd agreed on the compromise, Cassandra would be Madre, Liara mother. Aethyta objected in her usual blunt way but agreed to respect their wishes.

"What time is it?" Cassandra asked.

"It's almost 5:30." Liara answered.

"Almost time to get up anyway." Cassandra said, sliding up the bed and kissing Liara's lips.

"Another big day?" Liara asked.

"Yeah. Today we're formalizing the Krogan's entry to the Council and we're reviewing Spectre candidates. Wrex and I we're going to celebrate over drinks. You want us to pop by?"

"Yes, I'd like that." Liara avowed. She didn't have much company these days. There was Cass, her father and the midwife were the only regular company she received.

Cassandra reluctantly slid out of bed. She walked over the kitchenette and prepared a pot of coffee. Their apartment here on the Ascension was roughly the same size as her cabin on the Normandy, but due to it having more amenities like a kitchenette, it was more cramped. She missed Liara's estate on Elyssia. They'd only spent two weeks there in the 10 months since she'd become Councillor Shepard. She loved the wind, the waves lapping against the shore, bathing in the sun and the warm waters. If she could avoid looking at Thessia's massive silhouette in the sky it was the perfect retreat.

Councillor Tevos was still... angry with her over her failure at Thessia. She hoped it would fade with time. It made Council deliberations difficult, she was frosty, dismissive, even condescending towards her. The other Councillors were sympathetic but didn't want to upset the balance. Changing Councillors so soon after the War would be upsetting, sending the wrong signals, send the galactic stock market tumbling and so on. So, Cassandra did was always did, grinned and bore it for the sake of the greater good.

With the coffee brewing she quickly disrobed, giving Liara a brief show before showering and changing into her robes. They'd been forced upon her, at first she'd disliked the robes but she'd grown to like it. It wasn't as snappy as her old Alliance uniform, but it had its own charms. It was made from fabrics from every Alliance colony, each colour represented a colony's flag. It fit comfortably and was rather warm. It was important symbolically, she'd learned a lot the past few months that symbolism was as important in the public sphere as anything else.

"Do you want me to get you anything, my love?" Cassandra asked Liara, ready to go to work, a full stomach and two cups of coffee in her system.

"No, I'll be okay. The midwife's dropping by today. What time will you and Wrex arrive?"

"Hopefully around 18h00. Call me if you need anything."

"Have a good day, Cass."

"You too, love." They kissed another goodbye, their kiss lingered and reluctantly Cassandra pulled herself away and left for work. It was difficult saying goodbye, even for something as banal as going to work. Liara sighed, it was barely 6 in the morning. Slowly she stood up, ignoring the pain in her back she settled in her hover chair. She helped herself to some breakfast and coffee. After eating she worked on her little secret, a biography of Cassandra Shepard.

Shepard was far from surprised to find Karolina Stravowsky working diligently at her desk. The woman was a workaholic, how she had enough time for her husband was a mystery. She'd been a huge help, the former interim Councillor was staying on as part of her staff, her training, experience, and tireless attention to detail had saved many agreements, averted mistakes and generally making her life as Councillor far more agreeable. With Stravowsky she was free to focus on the big picture, assured that Savowsky would have the finer details covered.

She was a pleasant looking woman in her early forties, her features displayed well her Slavic heritage. She'd grown up a spacer, her parents both career military but she'd enlisted in the civil service and diplomatic core, defying her parents' wishes. She'd built up an impressive resume, having negotiated dozens of treaties and mediated countless disputes. Her work had put her into frequent contact with aliens. Despite this, she had no political clout or ambitions. Thus she was a perfect choice for a temporary human councillor.

"Good morning!" Savowsky greeted her warmly, sipping from a large mug of tea.

"Good morning, doc. What are you working on?"

"Just working on the final touches for the Korgan communiqué for today. If it wasn't for you and Sparatus, the Korgans' would've gotten next to nothing."

"Yeah..." Shepard said nostalgically. "I argued until I was blue in the face. It took some convincing, horse trading and compromising. But we got it done. Reminds me why I accepted this job. It's nice to have something to show for all the bullshit I put up with."

"You're doing an amazing job, Shepard." Stravowsky said with deep sincerity. "You're a quick learner, you haven't said anything stupid and you've done a very good job balancing Alliance interests with those of the galaxy." That was another quality she had, her compassion. She sensed whenever Cassandra was down about something and usually found something to say or do that would cheer her up.

"Thanks." Shepard replied. Stepping into her office she activated her computer terminal. She sighed, reading through a packed schedule and an over filled inbox. Her office was rather Spartan, as she preferred it. An office desk, three chairs. Decorations were even sparser, only a portrait of her official investiture ceremony hung upon the wall. She looked at the model of the Normandy SR-2 resting on her desk and recalled the moments aboard that ship. This beats fighting Reapers, she comforted herself and went to work.

Admiral Hackett arrived two hours later. Shepard greeted him warmly and brought him into her office alongside Stravowsky. They made small talk while an aide served coffee and muffins. Cassandra resisted the muffins. She did her best to maintain her exercise regimen, but on average she worked 12 hours a day, finding a few hours per day to workout was difficult, but she managed to exercise a few days per week. She was still in good shape, she largely resisted the decadence of diplomatic meals, but every so often, she gave in to temptation. Usually it was when Spoo was served, an Asari meal that strangely resembled Swedish Meatballs.

Stravowsky activated her Omni-Tool. "N'yah, what's up doc?" Her VI, Bugs, asked. Cassandra chuckled. She'd never heard of Bugs Bunny until Stravowsky started working with her. Those old vids were a riot, even Liara thought they were funny.

"Begin taking minutes." Savowsky ordered.

"You got it, doc."

"So, who are the human Spectre candidates?" Shepard asked, eager to get down to business.

"We've got it down to two people." Hackett began. "The first is Lt. Cmdr Kara Mueller. Graduated top of her N7 class. Served two years with the STG on an exchange program. Spent a year on Omega, single handily destroying one of the gangs and their red sand smuggling operations. Experience is mostly in covert ops. During the Reaper War she served with the resistance on Earth and gathered a lot of good intel. Led an attack that destroyed one of the harvesting camps. Dozens of citations and commendations. Et-cetera."

"Okay, who's the second one?" Shepard asked.

"You have a bit of history with this one. Lt. Jonathan Atherton."

A tremor passed through Cassandra's body and her face paled. That name. A name like so many others she wanted to forget, a reminder of a shameful past. Some ghosts continued to haunt her. Like the Leviathans she'd awakened to fight the Reapers, she'd been forced to end them when they wished to return to their old ways. She often thought of what it had said to her, about other alien species lurking in some unknowable corner of the galaxy. Had it been lying or truthful?

"What happened to him? How come he's only a Lieutenant after all these years?" Shepard asked, her voice barely above a whisper. Right after Torfan Anderson took her under his wing, she hadn't seen or heard from her old unit since. Like all her other ghosts, he found a way of resurfacing.

"He made a lot of trouble for himself, got demoted a few times. He's the one who told the batarians about your actions on Torfan. He lodged complaint after complaint about the treatment both of you received. He kept wanting you to be prosecuted for war crimes."

"But the brass covered it up, buried him." Cassandra said.

Hackett nodded. "He served in crap assignments, kept working his way out only for him to raise a stink about Torfan and get reassigned. Made a name for himself in the Traverse where he peacefully negotiated the surrender of slavers who had a freighter full of slaves. On a recon mission in the Hawking Eta system, he and his platoon crash landed and were attacked by a Thresher Maw for seven days. He got everyone out alive. During the Reaper War he organized and led the Australian resistance. They held out for the whole war. He got promoted. And then got demoted again when he took part in that damn vid that's making the rounds in all the tin-hat circles."

Cassandra sat back, quietly listening to Hackett's briefing. She knew the doc he was referring to, Shepard: A Fraud. She only knew the summary, it postulated she wasn't the saviour of the galaxy but actually an indoctrinated Reaper agent who saved the galaxy only out of happenstance. The doc's premise deeply offended her, and a lot of other people as well, but she couldn't think about that now.

What was she going to do? Her recommendation would carry a lot of weight. If she ignored Atherton's candidacy, she'd join a long list of senior officers and official's who'd ruined his career. If she vouched for him, she'd leave herself open to charges of duplicity and collusion. Her record on Torfan was sealed, the public knew only the vaguest details. But those with greater security clearance knew everything. The batarians called her simply The Butcher after Torfan and Bahak.

"What do you think?" She asked Hackett.

"Both are good candidates, but I like Atherton. He's been shafted but he's never given up. Show's a lot of determination. If you support him, it may help change his opinion of you."

Cassandra knew then Hackett's real reason for presenting his candidacy. He knew her better than most did. He was giving her a chance to redeem herself, in her own eyes. Maybe if he got to know her now, not as she was, he might forgive her. Still, this was putting her in a conflict of interest and she was unsure how to act.

"Alright. I'll present them to the Council meeting today. Eventually we're going to narrow it down to one candidate each for the humans, asari, salarian and turian. Then we'll whittle it down further. Thanks for dropping by, Admiral. It's always nice to see a friendly face around here."

Hackett rose. They shook hands and Hackett left. Stravowsky remained in her office.

"What do you think, doc?" Cassandra asked.

"I don't know. It might help if I knew what your history was with this Atherton fellow." She replied.

"He served under me at Torfan. A lot of people died under my command, because I... I let my personal feelings get in the way. I was careless for the lives serving under me. And I... also...executed prisoners."

"What?" Stravowsky looked at her, a shocked expression on her face.

"I'm ashamed. Back then I was young, filled with hate and lust for vengeance. I was a different person. I like to tell myself that everything I've accomplished since has atoned for my crimes. But... I can't help but think that good deeds don't always wipe out the bad. No matter what I do, something from my past is always catching up with me."

"You wanted to avenge yourself for Mindoir." Stravowsky stated flatly.

"Yeah, my family, the love I lost." She said quietly, avoiding Stravowsky's gaze.

"Look, Shepard." Stravowsky began. "I don't know what to tell you. I'm not an expert on these things. You're going to personally interview these candidates in a few days. I think you owe it to yourself to talk with this Atherton at the very least. See how he is now, maybe he's changed a lot too."

"Maybe you're right." Cassandra nodded meekly. If she could change so radically, why not him? If he could see the change in her, maybe he would forgive her.

"Right, what's next on the agenda?" Shepard asked her.

"For the next hour we review the Krogan treaty. Then we have a Council meeting for two hours purpose of which will be the Spectre candidates. Brief lunch. Then we have the Korgan ceremony. Then you have a meeting with Commander Bailey of C-Sec regarding the new security arrangements once we're back on the Citadel, followed by a meeting with the Alliance Cultural Empowerment Charity, another meeting with the head of the Future Anterior Supplementary Groundwork Planning Committee..."

Shepard stood on a raised platform, Councillors Valern, Tevos and Sparatus to her left. Camera drones were active. The chambers we're largely empty except for a single page, security personnel and the two Krogan standing before them; Urdnot Wrex and Bakara. Wrex was wearing his familial armour, though worn it still beheld a certain dignity. Bakara was wearing her veil, coloured a light blue. She did her best to hide her prideful smile. Wrex had come a long way from the disillusioned mercenary she'd first met in the wards of the Citadel.

"...And so, do you, Urdnot Wrex, Clan Leader of all Krogan, do so accept admission into the Citadel Council and the concert of races pursuant to the stipulations of the Krogan-Citadel Treaty enacted on this date?" Valern spoke. He had a flair for diplomatic verbiage. It was disappointingly bland. A momentous moment like this needed cheers and clapping, triumphant music. Instead it was a dull, formal ceremony. The krogan deserved better, though Cassandra doubted whether the Quarians' admission would be any different.

"On behalf of all Krogan, I accept." Wrex said curtly. She felt for him, he had his own bitterness towards the Council. The genophage was difficult to forget, even harder to forgive. He placed his thumbprint on the datapad given to him by the Council page. The thumbprints were a signature, this datapad was co-signed by all the Councillors. Thus it was official, the Krogan were readmitted to the Citadel Council. She nodded discreetly to Wrex. She'd much rather go out for drinks now then face the hours of monotonous meetings ahead of her.

Hours later, Cassandra Shepard did something rather unprofessional. She cut short her last meeting of the day to meet Wrex and Bakara for drinks. She set her Omnni-Tool to chime suddenly and hastily excused herself, saying she'd just been summoned for a sudden Council Meeting. She nearly fled her office, Savowsky frowning at met Wrex and Bakara in the Senior Lounge of the Destiny Ascension. The lounge was previously allotted for command staff. With the Ascension becoming a temporary consular ship, the lounge had been converted for Citadel dignitaries and high ranking diplomatic staff. The lounge was tightly packed as it usually was.

"Shepard!" Wrex shouted, making himself heard over the dim hum of conversation. More than a few heads turned in his direction, and followed the human Councillor.

"Wrex!" Cassandra yelled back.

"Haha! How are you, you little pyjack!" They punched each other's shoulders in greeting. She had to admit, even a little tap from a Krogan packed a considerable punch. They sat down, Wrex waved a waiter over to them. Wrex already had a half-filled bottle of Rnycohl in front of him. Bakara was drinking ice-water. They greeted another warmly. Cassandra ordered Serrice Ice Brandy. It wasn't her preferred drink of choice, but Red Wine and Scotch we're hard to find.

"Can't complain. How about you, Wrex?"

"This is just the deal we need. Ha! I know I complained about only getting 3 planets for now but that was all for show, to let people know we won't be taking handouts. There's some minor gripping from some of the clans, nothing I can't handle. You should see it, Shepard. My people, the Krogan, finally have hope. "

Bakara spoke. "For the longest time our people had only something to die for. Now we have something to live for. You played a large role in this. Thank you."

"You know the Shroud? We'll, we're building a statue of you and Mordin next to it. It's going to have a big memorial wall about everything you and Mordin did to cure the genophage!"

"Thank you." Cassandra replied, genuinely flattered. The waiter arrived with her drink.

"We'll let you know when it's done. We can have a big unveiling ceremony. Don't worry though, we'll have better security!"

Cassandra laughed awkwardly and took a few sips of her drink. She'd forsworn most public events since her assassination attempt. She didn't want to make herself vulnerable. She probably wouldn't escape another brush with death. She owed it to Liara, to their unborn children, to keep herself as safe as possible.

"Listen, Wrex." Cassandra began, eager to change the subject. "This isn't a freebie. You need to pull some weight on your end too. You're just one Krogan..."

"Spare me, Shepard." Wrex began, annoyed. "You're worse than Bakara. I know what I have to do, a line of succession, institutions, ministries, all that government... stuff. I've got a salarian diplomat who's helping formulate all that. He's a feisty little varren, that one. The trick is to do all this in a way that other Krogan don't realize they're taking part in a government. For now we're calling it a mega-crush. "

"Glad to hear it, Wrex. How's Grunt?"

"Ha!" Wrex enthused. "You should see him, Shepard. He's turned Aralahk Company into the biggest, most badass collection of Krogan we've ever seen. He's either breeding or training!"

"Councillor," Bakara began, activating her Omni-Tool. She was eager to lighten the mood. "Would you like to see the latest vids of Mordin and Shepard?"

Cassandra's face lit up. "Yes, I would."

The vid showed two young krogan pups, one male, one female, scarcely two feet tall, running on dusty ground, clumsily chasing after pyjacks. After they pyjacks outran them, Mordin picked up a stone and tried to throw it at them. His throw went backward, hitting Shepard in the face. Both babies began laughing hysterically. They were adorable.

"Yeah, they're cute aren't they?" Wrex said. A rare tone of wistfulness in his voice. "Being a father changes you. I wasn't prepared for it. I'll never do to them what my father did to me. You want to protect them, make the world safe for them. You'll do anything. What I'm doing for the krogan, it's as much for my kids as it's for everyone else."

"I understand you'll be a parent soon?" Bakara asked.

"Yeah, ten more weeks to go." She blushed and tapped her feet on the ground. "I can't wait! I'm so excited!" She stopped herself, suddenly aware of how silly she was acting. She sipped from her drink.

"You know, until I met Liara, I never wanted kids. I never thought I'd settle down, marry someone, all that crap." Cassandra confessed.

"What did you see yourself doing?" Bakara asked.

"I just figured I'd be a soldier, career military. Die in some heroic battle somewhere."

"You're a born soldier, Shepard." Wrex said. "As pure as any krogan I've met. It's in your blood."

"But not anymore." Cassandra said, sadness creeping into her voice. "I owe it to Liara, after all she's been through, after everything she's done for me, to step away from that life. I've played dice with the grim reaper so many times it's only a matter of time before my luck runs out. This way, I get to stretch out my luck more. Maybe I'll even get to die of old age."

Cassandra rubbed her eyes, surprised to find them welling with tears. Nervously she sipped her brandy.

"You've come a long way, Shepard." Wrex said. "There's more than one way to be a soldier. I've found that out first hand. I know you were fighting for us in those Council chambers. You know what? Seeing you up there with the Council, wearing those robes... I'm proud of you."

"Thanks Wrex," Cassandra found herself openly weeping. But she couldn't push the tears down. "I'm proud of you, too."

Liara was pleasantly surprised when Wrex, Bakara and Cassandra dropped by. They were only moderately drunk. She'd watched the footage of the proceedings on C-Span. The dull proceedings sadly overshadowed the dramatic impact of what had happened. Centuries from now, people would talk of the krogan rejoining the Council. They chatted amicably for close to an hour before the krogans excused themselves, wanting to rest before journeying back to Tuchanka. She gave them a fond farewell. Seeing Wrex again had brought back how much she missed her compatriots from the Normandy. They were scattered across the galaxy now.

Cassandra changed into her sleepwear and slid into bed next to her, turning off the light. They cuddled and kissed for some time. Through the way Cassandra held her, the tension in her hands, the firmness of her kisses, Liara sensed Cassandra was worried about something.

"Something happened today, Liara." She finally admitted. "We went over the list of human Spectre candidates. One of them's someone from my past."

"Who is it?"

"Atherton."

"I see." Liara said cautiously.

"He committed career suicide by trying to bring to light what I did on Torfan. He wouldn't give up though, he's a Lieutenant now though he's been demoted a few times. The brass wanted to bury what I did there, he kept trying to dig it up. I didn't know, love. I had no idea they would ruin someone's career like that."

"But you're not surprised." Liara said. "Torfan made you into a hero. You know the Alliance kept the full details secret. You know better than most how ruthless military bureaucracy can be."

"I know but I had no idea... I'll be meeting him in a couple of days. I'm not looking forward to it. He probably blames me for how his career's turned out, thinks I'm a fraud... But I have to meet him. I hope once he sees me as I am, not as I was, he'll...grant it to me."

"Grant you what?"

"Forgiveness."