Thank you all so much for the reviews from the last chapter - thrilled so many enjoyed it (and that I wasn't the only one who cried...) . Sorry for posting this one late and won't be able to tomorrow but this is the final part of this "episode" anyway so nice place to have a day break. Shout out for emilyam who suggested the Evan/Callie scene here. Hope you enjoy!
Long after Lena and Stef had finished their lecture and Evan had enthusiastically agreed to all of their terms he lay silently in his room just reliving the events of the day.
He was interrupted by a very quiet knock as Jesus emerged from down the stairs.
"Hey man, come in." He said smiling. "Though I wouldn't let your Moms hear you up this late."
By this time it was almost 2am.
"I've been trying to figure out a way to come and talk to you..." He said sheepishly. "Why didn't you let me tell them?"
Evan sighed.
"I have a sneaky suspicion that seeing the trouble drugs can cause from an observing point of view is more effective than when you're the subject of it." He said earnestly. "I just kinda hoped that if you could see what the impact was, what can be at stake...and how many other people it can affect...then maybe it would make you see that when you've got people who care about you...well that's worth more than the drugs."
Jesus looked down at his shoes.
"Thank you." He said. "I really think I should tell them though..."
"Look man, it's done now. It's cool with your Moms...the drugs are gone...it's easier to just wipe the slate clean. If you want to make it up then you can maybe help me out with the stuff your Moms are making me do. How about that?"
Jesus lifted the corner of his mouth in a smile.
"But look - I think we better both stop trying to sort things out by ourselves. It seems to get us into more trouble than necessary. How about these days we just stick together, be honest and try not to do stupid things - it may keep us out of trouble for at least a little while." Evan smiled.
"Sounds good. One thing though Evan..." Evan looked up.
"How did that weed fall out your pocket?"
Evan looked up at the ceiling.
"I have no idea. I keep replaying it over and over...I shoved it in my pocket, came through the kitchen...I guess it must have fallen out then. It's weird though, I mean, I never noticed that hole being so big. I can't believe I wouldn't have noticed. If only Michelle hadn't followed me down I would have checked and known...straight..." Evan's voice trailed slightly.
"Huh?" Jesus asked noticing his sudden change in voice.
Evan studied the ceiling for a few minutes as if he was projecting the events onto it. No. That was ridiculous. He shook his head, Michelle had no cause for vendetta. Nothing that big anyway. He was just channeling Kasey's unfounded suspicions.
"Nothing." Evan responded. "I was just trying to remember." He turned to Jesus. "Look dude, you really should head back in case your Moms find you out of bed. I'll walk you up. I think I need a change of scenery."
They headed up from the basement and Evan walked through into the kitchen to get some water. He poured himself a glass and sat on the stool with his head in his hands. He couldn't shake what he had thought. He jumped quietly when he was disturbed by a voice.
"Sorry I didn't mean to scare you. I didn't think anyone would be up...yet here you are...and just passed Jesus. Guess night time is where it's at in the Foster house, huh?" Callie joked as Evan smiled at her drowsily.
"It's raging, that's for sure. Why are you up anyway? Don't tell me you got caught with pot too?" he made a small and tired attempt at a joke in response.
"Think all the tension is sending my brain into overdrive. Don't tell Moms but I often go for a walk around the neighbourhood if I can't sleep. Just down the road and back - to try and tire myself out."
Evan furrowed his brow. "That work? What do you think about?"
"Well, wanna join me - I can show you?" she swayed slightly jerking her hand towards the door. Hesitantly he got up and followed, slightly nervous of anyone finding out they were sneaking out and getting in more trouble. He trusted Callie though and figured if she did this frequently she had it all worked out.
"You not worried someone will wake up and think you've run again?" he asked as they slipped quietly out the door.
"Nah, Kasey would know where I am, she knows I do it. Plus I think I've not run away for long enough now for them to no longer panic." she said through a slightly offended smile. Evan felt slightly guilty.
"Of course...I'm sorry I just..."
"It's OK Evan. It's a fair point."
The night was warm and the moon was bright. Street lights dimmed the stars but it was clear enough for some to still be seen.
"So..." Callie began. "You get in a lot of trouble?"
Evan huffed out a laugh. "Just a bit." he joked sarcastically but his face soon dropped.
"It was weird though...I dunno. It didn't feel normal. I mean...I seemed in less trouble than I have been before...but it felt so much worse." he sighed.
Callie quietly laughed in solidarity. "Like a ball sinking through from your throat to your gut? Make you suddenly feel like you had a longing to see your Mom?"
Evan looked at her slightly confused at the accuracy of her insight."Yeah...sorta. How'd you...?
"We're not so different Evan. Both thrown in here from crap homes and suddenly have to deal with the forgotten concept that maybe someone gives a damn. Suddenly people are disappointed if you do something bad instead of just angry. I remember when they picked me up when I ran away. I've never felt so relieved but so guilty in all my life."
He looked across at her slightly more confused.
"Yep, sorry buddy. You're in the "Stef and Lena Club" now. Pick up your condoms, pancakes and endless love supply at the door but your membership cost is a guilt trip like no other when you screw up." She laughed. "But tell you what - I wouldn't wanna be anywhere else. I mean...not that I don't miss..." her voice trailed as Evan put his arm around her and she took a deep breath.
"I know how you feel...but it's easier to not think about how things could have been."
They both stopped at the wall at the end of the road and sat down with no further to go.
Evan looked down at his feet as Callie breathed in the midnight air.
"I know. I'm passed that. All I know is it's better than it could be. By so much. I mean, when I think about where I could have ended up..." she had composed herself again and Evan looked into the distance with a sigh thinking about his own feelings.
"Are you ever mad at her? I mean obviously not that it was her fault but I mean...just for...I dunno...leaving you alone...?"
Callie stared at him slightly shocked but then took a deep breath. "I've been mad at him...and I guess I've been mad that things weren't different. That she didn't leave him...or stop his drinking, or for getting in that car." Her voice went quiet again and Evan realised that it was as hard for Callie to talk about it as it was for him to talk about his Mom's illness.
"I just can't help every now and again being mad she's not here. That she left me with my dad...and that woman. How screwed up is that? She died of cancer. How can I possibly be mad at her for dying?" Evan played with his fingers and choked back slightly. He tried to cover it with a reluctant laugh. "I mean obviously I miss her more but every now and again…when I'm in my dad's house and she's not…"
Callie put her hand on his knee. "I don't think there's a right way to feel Evan. Just gotta remember that everything we experience - it's what makes us."
"I guess. I just - I'm not used to being made to think about having a Mom again. It drags up a lot of feeling. I mean I'm glad that they care so much - I just..."
Evan hadn't thought much about taking the blame at the time - the repercussions it would have. He hadn't expected there to be this extra level of difficulty with it. The part of him that wanted to get Stef and Lena's approval. The part of him that didn't want them to be mad at him. He wasn't sure if he would have done the same thing again had he known how strong it would have been...but loyalty to his loved ones at his own cost was every bit his nature. These feelings had been locked deep down and were still squinting in the light.
"It takes a bit to adjust." Callie smiled. They paused for a moment before Evan began again.
"Tell you what though, I've never been more desperate to make it up to them and I didn't even..." Evan had got so comfortable talking with Callie he'd almost forgotten she didn't know the drugs weren't his. He noticed just before he said it but his stutter was a little too long to go unnoticed. "I mean I didn't even know I could feel that way." he re-routed and cleared his throat. Callie scrutinised his face for a second as he quickly tried to change the subject.
"We should probably head back, no? Or we may get a "Stef and Lena Club" Ass Kick Fun Bag." he joked as Callie stood up and nodded with a laugh, still looking slightly suspicious.
They walked a few more paces as she turned to him eyebrow raised. "Evan, there's not more to this than you're letting on is there...I mean...there's nobody else involved, right?" Callie had remembered that Jesus had been down with Evan just before she went downstairs. She hadn't thought too much of it at the time but something just didn't seem right.
Evan looked slightly aghast at the suggestion trying hard to keep up a front. He could tell her. I mean, she wouldn't tell would she? But then...no. It was done. If he was telling her it would only be to seek approval and he didn't need that. This was for the best. For Jesus.
"Nope. Why would you think that?" he shuffled his hands in his pockets slightly.
"No reason..." Callie decided to let it lie as they snuck back into the house and off to their rooms.
The next morning news circulated fast over the events of the night. Most of the kids were quiet, not quite sure how to react and Evan kept a very low profile, only emerging when Stef dragged him upstairs assuring him that eating in his room was not an option and not eating at all even less so.
Callie had tried to talk Kasey down but it was still too raw for her. Stef and Lena had at least accommodated for this by not insisting on Evan eating at the same times as everyone and him going to work had avoided the awkward issue of dinner.
The doorbell rang and Brandon ran over speedily from upstairs. "It's Michelle!" he shouted to avoid anyone else feeling they needed to bother. He opened the door and they kissed as he brought her in.
She clocked the unfamiliar silence and unfamiliar low moral of the house and wondered if it meant her plan had worked. She had been waiting for Brandon to bring it up so she didn't incriminate herself.
"So where are we headed?" she asked chirpily as Brandon grabbed his coat.
"Anywhere!" he responded quietly. "I just wanna get out if this house!" he shepherded her out before she had time to get a proper look around.
"Something happened?" she asked trying to sound as clueless as possible.
"Mom found some weed and all hell broke loose."
Michelle practiced her best look off shock.
"Seems it was Evan's. He took it off some druggy friend to protect him. Can tell he did it from a good place but didn't stop Moms freaking out."
Clearly Evan hadn't pointed the finger at Jesus and taken the wrap himself. His self sacrifice was nauseating to her but this at least may give her plan a better chance. She still needed to plant the seeds just in case however.
"And you buy that?" she asked with a raised eyebrow.
Brandon looked at her slightly shocked.
"No reason not to...I can't really see Evan doing drugs now he's here. I mean I guess I could have but to be honest this makes more sense."
"Well, I wish I was as trusting as you." she added.
Brandon looked at her slightly concerned. Could there be more to it? He had trusted Evan but Michelle was someone impartial. What if they were blinded slightly by proximity? Michelle cut off his thought process.
"So have they kicked him out? Is that why the place is so quiet?" she asked hopefully.
"Nah, they didn't want to turf him on the street...besides - I guess it isn't that bad when you think about why he was doing it. Just clumsy." Brandon answered obliviously as Michelle snapped her head towards him. They didn't even throw him out after that? She bit her lip bitterly trying not to let on her disappointment. She had underestimated just how embedded he was. This level of understanding was as alien to Michelle as it had been to Evan. Her brain began to race. She would have to talk to Carl. He hadn't liked this diversion as it was - he thought she had let her anger towards him interfere...and she knew he was right. She had dropped the ball.
Would love to know what you think as always!
Chapter 27 Preview: The family go to the fair, Stef tries to help Evan and Kasey and Evan finds Michelle with a strange man.
"That's why its dragging out Evan. Neither of you want to face it. But guess what - you have to. So man up and face it. Or woman up and face it as Lena would say! You will talk through, it will hurt a little and you'll move on as better people. Plus if you two don't do it yourselves I'm gonna lock you in a jail cell until you sort it." she threatened as Evan sighed again.