Chapter 11
The ship was emptier than she remembered it. A skeleton crew. She recognized all of them but many had moved on. She felt uneasy walking onto the deck. She remembered every detail of the fight against the Leviathans, Joker's sacrifice, the cataclysmic destruction she'd unleashed upon Despoina. The echoes of the Leviathan's words reverberated still, as if the walls spoke with its ancient voice.
"Glyph, where's Liara?" She asked.
"Dr. T'soni is in her private quarters." It answered. "Councillor Shepard, you have a call waiting from a Karolina Stravowsky."
Cassandra entered the elevator and sighed. She waited a few moments, staring at the closed doors before pressing a button. The elevator hummed tunelessly as it brought her to her cabin. Their cabin. The doors opened soundlessly. Liara was sitting on the bed, looking directly at her, expecting her. Cassandra tentatively entered the cabin and approached. She felt like a criminal confronted by his victim. Liara looked at her, into her. Her bright blue eyes shining with ambivalence, expectation. Cassandra knelt in front of Liara, their eyes level with another.
Cassandra said, looking directly into her eyes. She knew how she felt, but struggled to put it into words. "I'm not perfect...I can't fix everything... I don't need to be forgiven by anyone... except you, for being stubborn, not listening when everyone was telling me I was doing something stupid and dangerous. We're lucky it didn't get worse down there... I need to make time for important things. The only thing that matters is us, our family, our love. I forgot that and we almost lost it. I'm so sorry, Liara."
Liara looked at her, Cassandra was frozen into place, she couldn't move, like Liara's eyes were holding her prisoner. She reached forward and touched Cassandra's shoulders. Liara's eyes blackened. Cassandra felt dizziness and disorientation. She felt Liara searching her thoughts, her emotions. She didn't doubt her sincerity, only the depth of them. Images appeared and shifted. She saw herself. Walking away, ignoring desperate pleas and warnings. She was seeing herself from Liara's perspective. She felt the pain of being ignored, the terrible anxiety, the unbearable emptiness. What if this could kill her before Miranda finished her work? What would she do? What would Aisha do, never knowing her madre? She felt the worry, the pain, the anxiety. The naked strength of these dragged her down, like an anchor tied around her ankle, dragging her under the stormy waters, drowning. And all this was her doing. How could she do such a thing? How could she so deeply harm the one person she loved above all? Her bullish insistence on a fool's crusade had brought them to the precipice of a dark, bottomless chasm. To know she'd pained someone she loved was one thing, to actually experience that pain first hand was quite another. She didn't have much time left, and it was time to make room for the things they both wanted.
Then she was back in the cabin, Liara just a few inches away. Overcome by emotions, both her own and Liara's. She knelt forward and put her arms around Liara. She wept. It hurt. But she deserved it. Needed to know just how much pain she'd caused. Liara put her arms around her and squeezed her close. Liara kissed her forehead.
"You needed to understand." Liara said quietly. Cassandra nodded weakly.
"Never again." Cassandra said, struggling to speak. Liara's eyes lightened and a smile came to her lips.
"Come on." She whispered in Cassandra's ear. They lay together in bed. Cassandra slid in next to her. Cassandra sighed joyfully as Liara's arms enveloped her, she'd so missed the warmth of her body, the sweet smell of her perfume. Liara caressed her hair and they kissed another forcefully, both needing to feel the other. I missed you so much. The stress and weariness faded away and after a few minutes it was like there had never been any. "Never again." Cassandra whispered to Liara's ear.
"Sorry to keep you waiting. What's up, doc?" Cassandra asked the vid screen. Stravowsky was on the other line, she'd been on hold for a half hour. She deserved better but Liara was a higher priority. She'd had a long day, that much was evident.
"Glad to see you're ok." Stravowsky said. "Interesting things seem to happen whenever you're around. Those batarians and Atherton are in the brig, pending charges. They're going to throw the book at them. I don't think any of them will ever see life outside a prison cell. Balak's other delegates claim they don't know what he was planning and I believe them. That Orbital Mirror got taken down before it did any damage. It was only defended by Blue Suns fighters so that was a piece of cake. I also did something, well, very unofficial." She added with a conspiratorial smile. "I hinted to Pazness that it might be an idea to secede from the Hegemony. He took to the idea rather quickly."
"That's pretty naughty, doc." Cassandra smirked. "Well done."
"So, you're all set to go home?" Stravowsky asked, a hint of sadness in her voice and eyes.
"Just waiting for the lockdown to lift." Cassandra answered.
"It'll be lifted soon. They just want to make sure everything's ok. I also did something else naughty. I arranged an escort for you. One ship from every fleet. "
She was surprised. They were supposed to make a quiet trip to Elyssia. This ship was equipped with a stealth drive after all. But the multi species escort was an undeniable honour. And how could she turn down something like this from her aide, her friend?
"Listen." Stravowsky began. "I've wanted to say this forever but there never seemed to be a good time, so I'll say it now. Just, you know, in case... Thank you. For everything you've done. It's been so inspiring for me to work beside you. I've learned a lot working with you and I'll always treasure our time together. You don't need to beat yourself up over your mistakes. You're not perfect, but you don't have to be."
Cassandra nodded. "I know that now. I guess I just needed to learn it for myself."
"You and the missus make up?" Stravowsky asked.
"Yeah." She couldn't hide her smile.
"I could tell. You look happier." Stravowsky's eyes dimmed and she looked away from the screen for a moment before looking straight at the camera. "You take care, okay?" Her voice strained, struggling to hold together. "I'll, eh, I'll keep your seat warm."
"I'll be back before you know it." Cassandra said, struggling to sound confident, to the push the doubt aside. It mostly worked, but her chargé d'affaires knew her well enough to see through the facade.
"Take care." She said feebly, her voice wafer thin. "Goodb-"
"-You too, doc. I'll see you soon." Cassandra said and shut off the transmission with a tad more eagerness than normal. She closed her eyes and breathed deeply. Liara shuffled next to her and rubbed her shoulders.
"Are you okay, my love?" Liara asked, continuing to rub Cassandra's shoulders.
"I just need a minute." She choked. She didn't have much to distract her now. Well, there was one thing, two things, people, actually. "I don't have hundreds of years to prepare myself, like your people do, you know?"
Liara nodded. "I'm worried too. But I'm also hopeful. We both know if there's one person who can solve this, it's Ms. Lawson."
Cassandra nodded. There was no denying that. And she shared Liara's optimism. Or... maybe optimism was the wrong word. Too strong a word in the face of such doubt. Hope was the better word.
"So," Cassandra began. "Now that I have lots of free time, you want to have a boding ceremony? Go on a honeymoon?"
Liara's face lit brightly. "Of course." They kissed another briefly. "Although, you're sure you don't want a human ceremony?"
"Well, Italians love to have a wedding where they invite every distant relative. Since I don't have any it kinda leaves that option on the floor. I'm curious how asari do it. Just don't expect me to wear a frilly white dress. If it's half as good as the love-making, I can't wait."
"Well," Liara smiled alluringly and sensually caressed her arm. "I'm sure you won't be disappointed." Her eyes looked askance. She spoke quickly, like sputtering machine gun fire. "We'll have the ceremony at the Temple of Nigellia on Thessia, it's an ancient temple that survived the Reapers, we'll have to limit it to 200 guests, Goddess, they probably have a waiting list of one year at least, we'll have to arrange catering, accommodations, a guest list, how to keep the media out... Oh! We could have our honeymoon on Noolenia, there's a huge Prothean temple there or maybe on-"
Cassandra pressed her finger against Liara's lips. "Shh." She whispered and replaced her finger with her lips. They kissed passionately. The room was lit by biotic flames of blue radiance as they made love to another.
Cassandra reluctantly opened her Omni-Tool and opened her inbox. She'd rather spend more time snuggling but she had some work to. "Holy shit!" She exclaimed. In three days she'd accumulated almost a thousand unread messages. There were messages from a lot of unfamiliar names, but also familiar ones. Garrus, Ashley, Wrex, Grunt, Jacob, Hackett, even Jack. The list went on. Some were from people she'd only met in passing like Parsini and Thalita.
"Looks like you have a lot of catching up to do." Liara teased, kissing her left earlobe.
"Care to distract me?" Cassandra replied, turning her head and kissing Liara's lips.
"You've been distracted long enough. But I'll help you." Liara answered. They worked on it together. She made sure that this reply didn't go the press. It was too personal. But to her friends and acquaintances it hit the right note between the two. She recorded her message.
"Hi everyone. I'm sorry for the reply-all. I'm sorry I haven't been in touch but I needed some time to myself. I had a bit of a scare. It's medical. I'm okay, though. There's a good chance I'll back in the saddle soon. It's made me realize I've been so busy working that I've neglected important things. The things I fought for in the first place. So that's why I'm taking time off. I don't know how long it will be but I'm sure I'll be back before you know it. I'll be doing things I should've done long ago, like having a bonding ceremony. Maybe go on a honeymoon. I'll speak to you all soon."
The shuttle took them from the spaceport to their home on Elyssia. The clouds were overcast and dark grey. The day was cold and wet . It was winter, in this hemisphere winters were the rainy season. Cassandra was a bit disappointed, she was hoping it would warm and sunny like her first stay here. Though it wasn't raining everything seemed touched and even contaminated by the rain. The foliage, the roof, the wet sand of the beach. The water levels were higher and the dense forests were quieter, only the patter of rainfall and none of the dancing music of the birds and fauna.
Otherwise the home was as she remembered it. A skiff filled with debris was being towed away by another shuttle. The renovations had just finished. The last of the equipment was installed, the last of the workers cleaning up. She walked through the halls, Liara in tow. Remembering this fine place, the atmosphere, the sounds and smells of it. Her toes curled at the thought of jumping in the massive Jacuzzi. She felt immediately at peace. No traces of headaches, nosebleeds or other signs of her impending mortality.
They were curious what Miranda's working area looked like. The art pieces that inhabited the south wing had been moved to other areas. The main lab was expansive, a huge room lined with computer consoles, scanners, examination tables, chemistry equipment, incubation chambers and other manner of technological wizardry they couldn't identify.
"By the Goddess!" Liara exclaimed. "This equipment costs millions. How can Miranda afford all this?"
"I guess she raided some of the Illusive Man's accounts." Cassandra opined.
"And she's doing this gratis." Liara added. "This isn't just another job for her."
"I know." Cassandra said humbly. They looked over the lob and the living quarters. A dorm to fit twenty people had been built. Not the most comfortable accommodations, a series of small bunkbeds and foot lockers lined row upon row. It resembled her barracks in basic training, almost to a T. Hopefully Miranda's team weren't creatures of comfort.
"We've been away from here too long." Cassandra said, almost as apology.
"I agree. I missed the grand piano."
They went to one of the mediation rooms, where the grand piano sat, waiting patiently for its master to reintroduce herself. Cassandra lay in one of the sofas, closed her eyes and listened to Liara playing the piano. Some Beethoven, Chopin, Mozart. It was some of the most beautiful and emotional playing Cassandra had ever heard. She thought of their time together. The future is a bringer of uncertainties. But one certainty the future would hold was that she would treasure their time together, whether it be three years or a hundred. The playing stopped after some time. Cassandra opened her eyes and saw Liara walking towards her. Cassandra slid over and made room for Liara. They snuggled next to another.
"I love you." Liara whispered into her ear.
"I love you, too." Cassandra answered. In another's arms they drifted off to a peaceful sleep.
They'd just finished eating the pancakes she'd cooked when her Omni-Tool's communicator activated. Miranda and Aethyta were due in a few minutes. Liara squeezed Cassandra's hand and smiled at her. Her smile was a hopeful facade that Cassandra saw right through. It was the same facade she held on. But they had no choice. Else they surrender to fatalistic despair and make enjoyment impossible.
They went to the shuttle pad to greet them. The day was starkly overcast and rain trickled lightly but the dampness was as insidious as ever. The shuttle landed, Miranda and Aethyta exited, behind them a dozen people wearing formal attire and duffel bags slung over their shoulders. Miranda was wearing a blue blouse and slacks, the professional look suited her far more than the attire she wore in her Cerberus days. Miranda`s team walked right past them without introducing themselves, heading straight for the lab.
"It's great to see you!" Cassandra said, giving Miranda an enthusiastic if brief hug. Miranda went ramrod stiff and Cassandra backed away.
"Nice to see you too, Shepard." She said with a perfunctory smile, not quite making eye contact. Her voice professional and business-like. "This is part of my team. The other part will be out in the field securing contracts, acquiring technology, whatever it takes."
"We're both very happy you and your team are here." Liara said.
"Thanks, doctor. I'll do my best to make it worthwhile. Now if you'll excuse me, we need to get started. Shepard, I need to see you in two hours for a full physical. I want you to fast tonight for 12 hours, nothing except water, and see you first thing in the morning. We've got a lot of tests to run." And with that Miranda walked away.
Aethyta looked at Cassandra suspiciously, she briskly walked up to her with a cross look on her face. Inches separated them. Her eyebrows furrowed, her mouth tightly wound, as if opening it would unleash a torrential storm of biblical proportions. This must be why everyone complains about in-laws.
"I hope you know how much pain you put my girl through."
"Father, please" Liara began, tentatively trying to head off the confrontation.
"Yes, I know." Cassandra said, truly chastened, keeping her voice as non-confrontational as possible. She held up the palms of her hands in acquiescence but her father in law was having none of it.
"Don't think you can get off that easy." Aethyta continued, unabated and unappeased. "I've never seen her so upset!"
"Father-"
"-Do you know how much anxiety and pain you put her through? Do you know that stress and anxiety during pregnancy is one of the leading causes of birth complications in asari? Have you ever thought about what you'd put us all through if-"
"Yes, I do!" Cassandra shot back, having enough of absorbing the punishment. Aethyta stared at her hard.
"Good, then. Nobody messes with my girl!" She said darkly, crossing her arms.
"She's my girl!" Cassandra objected, pointing at herself.
"Both of you, stop! I'm nobody's girl!" Liara yelled. Both of them stopped arguing and looked at Liara. She looked at them with disapproving eyes. "Father, Cass knows. I showed her. Cass, relax, my love."
"Well, good then." Aethyta said, her voice more sedate. Her posture relaxed and she ceased leaning forward. "Looking forward to more for your cooking, Shep." She walked away as if nothing had happened.
Cassandra looked at Liara, a wry grin on her face. Liara looked up at her, trying to remain serious but she couldn't. The soulmates broke out in merry giggles and happily walked back inside, just as the skies above them opened.
A few days later
Cassandra was awakened by being thrown out of bed. The shock of the fall and the momentary disorientation made her cry out. Then the sharp pain in her behind made her groan aloud. She saw a blue biotic field emit forth from the bed, pushing her further back.
"Liara?" She called out, alarmed, fully awake with anxiety.
"She's...coming!" Liara gasped, short of breath.
Cassandra bolted upright. An onslaught of adrenaline coursing through her veins, her heart rate climbed precipitously, it felt like some of her blood vessels would burst out of her skin. Her sight distorted with a touch of unreality, as if she were seeing through another's eyes, dreaming, not awake. She rushed to Liara and gathered her in her arms. She was sweating and trembling, her blue eyes glazed over, moaning in agony and discomfort. Cassandra dropped her in the hover chair and guided Liara out of the bedroom.
"Glyph!" Cassandra yelled. "Wake up Aethyta. Tell her Liara's in labour. Call the hospital, too."
"Confirmed."
Cassandra pushed Liara's hoverchair along, even though that was hardly necessary. She had to get Liara to the hospital. Quicker the better. Everything would probably be fine. But what if it didn't. It starts now, this is when it all changes. She thought to herself as they rushed by the statues and art pieces that lined the hallway. Liara tried to insist that it wasn't necessary to speed through, but Cassandra wasn't hearing her. Harbinger, Leviathan, Illusive Man. I've won. I beat you. Our daughter is living proof.
The sun was just beginning to rise and there was a temporary dissipation in the cloud cover, allowing the birthing rays of early sunlight to pierce the early morning gloom. Cassandra rushed up to the parked shuttle, frantically pushing the open door button as the hatch slowly opened. Aethyta arrived, wearing only her pyjamas, rushing onto the shuttle pad. As she did Cassandra suddenly remembered she was still barefoot and wearing her pyjamas but the thought vanished from her mind. There were more important things. She ensured Liara was secured before leaping into the cockpit and starting up the shuttle.
"How are you doing?" Cassandra shouted back to the cabin as the engines warmed up.
"I'm fine." Liara insisted, through her tone made it clear the opposite was true. Another biotic wave shot through the shuttle, scattering loose objects and making Cassandra's ears pop.
"Don't worry, Shep." Atheyta shouted, as anxious as anyone else. "Just get us to the hospital."
Cassandra was more than happy to comply. The engines hummed loudly and the shuttle gently lifted in the air. An outsider would be surprised at Cassandra's outer calm and deft hand manoeuvring the shuttle. But even now she still maintained her customary stoic calm in the face of danger and uncertainty. It was different now. She wasn't on a battlefield, dodging bullet fire and biotic attacks. She wasn't racing against a rapidly dwindling clock. No. She was just driving her wife to the airport to give birth to their daughter. That's all I have to worry about.
They were greeted on the landing pad by a small platoon of asari doctors and nurses with a hover gurney. They transferred Liara from the chair onto the prone device. Cassandra remained with them, holding tightly onto Liara's hand as they rode the elevator down to the maternity ward. Liara held both her bondmate and her father's hand tightly. Her clothes were completely drenched in sweat. The soul mates looked long into the others eyes to reassure the other.
"Contractions every 15 minutes. Biotic emissions every 10 minutes." Aethyta told the doctors.
The doors opened and they filed out, Cassandra barely able to keep pace with the rushing medical staff. After turning twice they were bade to stop, medical personnel only. They were pointed to the waiting room. Cassandra looked as Liara was taken away, surrounded by attentive medical staff. If any of you fuck this up, I will bury you with five million tons of C-4.
She paced around the waiting room, having numerous near collisions with walls, people and a repair drone. There were dozens of empty chairs available, she ignored them all. She couldn't sit down. How could she? Not now. There was too much on her mind. What if something happens to her? To Aisha? To both of them? Why is it taking so damn long?!
"Shep!" Aethyta shouted at her, snapping Cassandra out of her daze. "Stop pacing around for the Goddess' sake! You're making me even nervous than I already am!"
How long had she been pacing like this? Cassandra apologized. Sat next to her. She sat for half a minute before standing up and resuming her nervous pacing. Aethyta sighed in exasperation. It might be a strange sight, seeing one of the most famous and powerful people in the galaxy pacing endlessly in a maternity ward waiting wearing only pyjamas. But to those working there, only the person's face was uncommon. The ward was littered with anxious soon-to-be parents, displaying their anxiety in different ways. It was almost musical. Some paced. Some sat while their feet tapped to an uncommon beat, some watched vids on their omni-tools without paying attention to the screens, some drifted in and out of the ward, having very recently taken up smoking.
"Cassandra Shepard? Matriarch Aethyta?" A nurse called out their names. Aethyta snapped on her feet, Cassandra spun around in the direction of the voice as if she were still on the parade square. The nurse looked at them and smiled, signalled them to follow her. They rushed towards the nurse, almost bowling over her.
They came to a room, it was eerily quiet. Liara was on the bed, surrounded by four doctors and nurses. Her clothes and sheets were being replaced. Cradled in her arm was a small asari, wrapped in a white blanket, her small blue eyes wide open, staring about the world. She was small, frail, vulnerable. Cassandra's vision blurred and she almost tripped and fell, rushing to her wife and child's side. There she is! My daughter!
"Aisha," Liara whispered. "Say hello to your madre."
The little blue eyes searched in her general direction and seem to hold where her face was. Cassandra leaned forward and planted a light kiss on her daughter's delicate forehead. Liara transferred her to her own care. She cradled her newborn daughter in her arms. She was so light, so fragile. There was so much to say and do and plan. But before all that, she had to say one thing.
"I love you, Aisha."