Hey, its Amira! Sorry it took so long for chapter 2, i couldn't stop writing! Plus homework is more annoying than my little brother so that didn't help any. Reviews and story advice are, as always, more than welcome. (actually, i'm begging for it. PLEASE!!!!!!!) Prepare yourself to fall of your computer chair laughing, this one's a lot more interesting than the first. :p
Normal
Thoughts
Jutsu
/" Kurobi speaking "\
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Kiri groaned
The council had finally decided what to do with her. It probably could have been worse, but it was definitely not the best possible outcome.
She would be allowed to rejoin Konoha as a ninja, but they were forcing her to start all over again and take the genin exam.
Well, at least it's better than living the rest of my life as a civilian. Boring!
She lay back on her bed, which was still unmade at four o'clock in the afternoon. Organization had never been her strong point. A myriad of random objects, various sharp metal weapons, and scraps of paper covered her floor (she couldn't remember what color the carpet was and hadn't seen it in a while) and her bed hadn't been made since the day she had first entered the room about a month ago. Konohamaru had paid his visit during one of those rare times when she had gotten so bored she had actually cleaned. It hadn't lasted long though and had been back to its normal messiness within an hour.
Konohamaru sat on the floor at the foot of her bed, scribbling mindlessly on a pad of paper while staring off in the distance. They had been bouncing prank ideas off each other since Konohamaru had brought it up the day before.
Wait, yesterday. That means that today is yesterday's tomorrow and yesterday Tsunade said I had to take the genin exam TOMORROW WHICH IS TODAY!!!! AHHH!! I TOTALLY FORGOT!!GOTTA GET OUT OF MY PAJAMAS!
Akiri shot up from her bed and dashed for her dresser, grabbed her clothes and zoomed into the bathroom shouting "KONOHAMARU, SORRY BUT I GOTTA GO!! TSUNADE'S MAKING ME RETAKE THE GENIN EXAM OR ELSE I CAN' TBE A NINJA AND ITS TODAY AND I GOTTA GO!!!
She changed in record time and zoomed out the door, still slipping on her "forehead protector" and brushing her teeth and combing her hair at the same time.
Wow, she's either really good at multitasking or she finally lost it. And I've only known the woman for a day! , was all that Konohamaru could think as her black and purple panda bear pajamas fell on his head.
X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X
Akiri dashed as fast as she could down the street towards the academy. Luckily the layout of the village hadn't changed nearly at all and she easily found the large building. Otherwise she would have been completely and hopelessly lost and doomed to never be a ninja again.
"MOVE IT MOVE IT MOVE IT MOVE IT MOVE IT!!" Kiri ran through the crowded market street, looking like a blurry whirlwind with hair. People fell down in her wake if they didn't move fast enough and she jumped over a group of toddlers playing with chalk.
She blew through the doors of the academy, up the stairs, over one of the students at the drinking fountain, onto the wall, onto the ceiling, and straight to the last classroom on the left, trailing a cloud of smoke. She stopped at the door and tried to be as quiet as possible (which is quite quiet since she's a ninja ;) ). She slowly and quietly opened the door and peeked her head in.
It was a pretty average classroom as far as classrooms go, teacher's desk and blackboard in the front with tiered rows of desks facing the front. The teacher was standing in front of his large, heavy looking desk and droning on about something that Akiri completely ignored for the moment. The kids had started to notice her and were about turn more than their eyes towards her. She hastily put her finger to lips and a cheeky grin on her face. The kids nodded minutely and turned their faces back towards "listening to their teacher" as their eyes followed her. Luckily, the teacher was reading from what looked like an instruction book and hadn't noticed his student's inattention. Wait, he looked familiar, where had she seen that scar before? It ran all the way across his nose an onto either cheek bone. Then it popped into her head.
Ha! It's Ruka-kun! Who would have thought he would become a teacher?
Kiri slowly got the rest of the way into the room and slowly closed the door, with rather a lot of exaggerated caution and silence. She then, with lots of exaggerated tip-toeing walked up behind the desk and the teacher.
Now the fun begins! Kiri thought excitedly.
She then carefully composed herself….. And started mimicking the teacher's stance and exaggerated hand gestures that he was using to "embellish" his lecture that everyone was listening attentively to. (NOT!) The kids started giggling at her wonderful act as she held an imaginary booklet in front of her face and started miming whatever the heck he was saying (she wasn't actually paying any attention to that). When the kids' giggling turned into muffled laughter the teacher looked up at the class, then turned to see what was so funny behind him. Kiri had quickly ducked down behind the desk and out of view, but not before drawing him an absolutely be-u-ti-ful picture on the blackboard of him kissing what looked to be a large, polka-dotted, wild boar at lightning fast speed.
Iruka was completely baffled at how the drawing had gotten on the blackboard; he hadn't sensed any chakra signatures, so it wasn't any of his students. It had to be one of the jounin or ANBU, but did any of them actually have a sense of humor like that? If anyone told him that any of the ANBU had actually cracked a joke, much less drawn a cartoon of him kissing a pig, he would calmly and carefully have personally escorted such a person straight to the mental hospital to be evaluated. What on earth was happening?
What he had completely failed to notice while still being dumbfounded and staring at the very nice, detailed cartoon, was that a strange girl had snuck out from behind his desk, walked calmly up the wall of the classroom and was currently standing upside down above his head on the ceiling. His students had noticed though, and were waited with barely contained glee at what the weirdly dressed girl would do next.
Said "weirdly dressed" girl smiled at the eager faces, held up a peace sign, and promptly dropped from the ceiling to stand on Iruka's shoulders, carefully adhering herself there with chakra.
"AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!" Iruka yelled as he tried to shake off the thing that had "attacked" him from above. Then he finally thought to look up at what it was and promptly fell backwards on his butt.
"Hey, Ruka-kun! What's up?" Akiri asked with a wicked smile on her face as she leapt off his shoulders and onto his desk. (Though she was careful not to mess with any of the papers, one of them might be her answer sheet for the written test after all.) Iruka chose that moment to turn white and inelegantly fall the rest of the way to the floor in a dead faint.
"Geeze Ruka-kun, I come back to say hi to you after being gone for fifteen years and all you can do is scream like a little girl and faint dead away! I guess some things never change." She reprimanded the body of the man who had been a boy she had spent four years in the Academy with. She had always known he was prone to over reaction, but this was kind of ridiculus. Why did all of her old friends seem to faint when they saw her? Tsunade had done almost the same thing when Akiri had first arrived in the village and glomped the unsuspecting sanin. Did she have a contagious disease or something? Or did everyone she had known before start taking lessons from those weird fainting goats in her absence?
Oh well. When you came back to life after fifteen years, I guess it can only be expected and tolerated. Still, he didn't have to scream, that's just asking for a little makeover while he's out in la-la land.
Kiri grinned, it was a good thing she had brought her favorite Sharpie marker, just in case anyone happened to fall asleep during the test. Looks like she finally had a good (unwilling) test subject for her new jutsu.
She looked up at the class to find them all rolling on the floor and clutching their sides with laughter. She grinned. Konoha finally had some ninjas (or soon to be ninjas) that actually had a sense of humor. Everyone in her generation had been so serious and stiff, she had always thought that she was one of the very few that were born then that actually had a fun personality.
"Attention dwarfs", she announced to the class, still standing on the desk. Some of them frowned at the dwarfs comment, but most of them just looked at her, still trying to regain a normal breathing pattern. She continued when they were all paying attention.
Wow, Iruka. I haven't even become a genin and I can get their attention better than you. What happened to all your pranks and creativity? If they went out the window during the last fifteen years, I suggest you jump out after them. Only old geezers and babies are meant to be completely boring.
"OK! Now that I have your attention, can someone catch their breath long enough to tell me if the exam is over or not? If I missed it I'm going to be majorly pissed. I don't want to have to go through the academy again."
"Wait"
One of the kids stood up. He looked like an Inuzuka kid, brown hair, khaki shorts, black t-shirt, complete with red triangle tattoos and a small, night black puppy on his desk next to him. The only strange thing was a pair of very green eyes that would be unusual for the dog-loving clan.
"You're taking the genin exam? But you look like you're, like, fourteen! Why would a fourteen year old be taking the genin exam? And why have none of us have ever seen you in the village before? If you were a transfer from another village we would have heard something about it, and if you weren't, then you should have been in the academy! Would you mind explaining?" He finished politely.
"WHAT! I AM NOT FOURTEEN! I WAS FIFTEEN BEFORE YOU WERE BORN AND STILL AM! Anyway, you don't have to be so polite, it's not like I'm going to bite your head off." She added huffily, a little annoyed at the fact that he thought she was fourteen.
She sighed. "Alright, I guess I owe everyone an explanation. But can that wait until after the exam? I still don't' know if I missed it!"
The boy quickly informed her that she hadn't and introduced himself as Inuzuka Kaitoru.
"Pleasure to meet you. My name is Gintora Akiri. Please call me Kiri. Now, who here has a sharpie and would like to help me give your nice sensei a pretty make over?" She and the students grinned in unison and the kids quickly filed down, sharpies in hand to draw on their unfortunate sensei.
`O`O`O`O`O`O`O`O`O`O`O`O`O`O`O`O`O`O`O`O`O`O`O`O`O`O`O`O`O`O`O`O`O`O`O`O`O`O`O`O`O`O`O`O`O`O`O`O`O`O`O`O`O`O`O`O`O`O`O`
By the time they were done, Iruka didn't have a single bit of bare skin that didn't have a heart, fake mole, butterfly, star, or the occasional boar, sharpied all over it. Even his toes peeking out of his standard issue ninja sandals had several inked toe rings and black sharpied tonails. Kiri and her smug accomplices stepped back to admire their handy work and one of the students pulled Iruka by the back of his shirt over to the wall to sit him against it.
"Good job guys! Nice touch with the toe rings and boars. I completely approve of the eyebrow piercings and mustache, too. Geeze, why did my generation get so short changed on such great, evil little minds? Now, how long should I make them stay?" She smiled. "I spent the last month developing a jutsu to keep Sharpie tattoos visible as long as I want to; I just haven't had a test subject. I think I could even manage to make those nice, manly tattoos to glow pink and purple for a while. What do you say?"
All of the kids joined her in smiling at their teacher's soon to become even more embarrassing predicament.
"Now, a week should be enough don't you think? It won't come off no matter what he does, and he won't be able to hide them under his clothes with them glowing hot pink and purple."
They all snickered evilly as Kiri quickly made several hand signs.
Marker tattoo revenge!
The kids all stared as their drawings flashed blue and then settled into a nice pattern, fading from pink to purple and back again, all the while emitting the same color light so that no one could ever possibly mistake them for something cool or manly.
A resounding "Cool" was the only group response as Kiri finished admiring her handy work and turned back to them.
"Okay, payback complete. Now I think I am going to have to wake the poor baka up or we're not going to get to take the genin exam. Why don't all you dwarfs run back to your seats while I alert him to his current situation? Make sure to remind him of this for at least a month after it wears off so we get proper satisfaction from this. He should remember that it's not proper to go to sleep while your students are waiting to take a test."
The class obediently filed back to their seats chatting excitedly among themselves. They officially loved Kiri. This girl rocked. Not only did she seem like an awesome ninja, she was truly a genius at pranks and had actually enlisted their help with one. They had all agreed to elect her the leader and evil genius of their class, despite the fact that they had now known her for a grand total of twenty minutes.
Kiri, oblivious to the election taking place, grabbed her friend (who used to be a lot lighter) by his ankle, jumped onto his desk, and hung him upside-down. He looked really funny, he was starting to both drool and snore and the students had a hard time containing their mirth. Kiri shook the chuunin up and down a few times to see if that would work. No success.
Oh well. Shouting is more fun anyways.
"RUKA-KUN!!!! WAKE UP!! ALL OF US KIDDIES HAVE TO TAKE THE GENNIN EXAM AND YOU HAVE GLOWING PINK AND PURPLE TATTOOS ALL OVER YOU!!"
Kiri didn't know if it was the point about the genin exam or the tattoos, but Iruka sure woke up fast. His first action was to scream like a little girl again when he realized he was hanging upside-down. Then he proceeded to kick his ankle out of Kiri's grip (probably not the smartest thing) and landed straight on his head in front of his desk and students.
Kiri calmly dusted off her hands and slowly walked to the empty seat beside Kaitoru, who she had mentally marked as the class artist from his very artistic and creative version of her blackboard cartoon which he had plastered across Iruka's cheek. She liked the dwarf; he seemed to have a way with pranks and had obviously had some experience with a sharpie.
Iruka tried to regain his composure and what little dignity he had (which wasn't much) while Kiri was on her way to her seat and was now simply standing in front of his desk staring at his hands and toes. It seemed like he was caught between being bewildered and brain dead, but somehow he managed to speak calmly and seemed to be trying to take it in stride.
"Would one of you please loan me a mirror, I would like to see what you have done to my face."
Kiri grinned and one of the girls tossed her barely calm sensei a hand mirror from her bag. It was hard to determine exactly what emotion he was trying to hold in, but it was starting to look slightly painful to Kiri.
Iruka slowly looked down into the mirror. He froze for a moment, and then looked straight at Kiri with an accusing glance.
"What is it sensei?" Kiri said in her best 'I'm a little innocent teapot short and stout' voice. "You can't possibly give me all the blame. I didn't even draw a single thing! Although, I'm afraid I did contribute a large part to encouraging your students and I might have put a jutsu on the sharpie drawings. Poor Iruka-sensei," she sighed dramatically, "you're going to be stuck with pink and purple glowing, unconsealable sharpie doodles all over you for an entire week. I'm sure you can survive. After all, only a big strong man yells like a girl when their long lost friend drops in on them!" She ended her wonderful performance with a concerned look at Iruka's steadily inflating head. "Are you alright sensei? Your head looks like its getting swollen! Do you need to go see the nurse!?!"
Iruka apparently was on the brink of exploding when Tsunade walked into the classroom. (Well, probably more like stormed in and blew the door off in the process)
"UMINO IRUKA! WHAT'S THE HOLD UP! THE EXAMINERS HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR TEN MINUTE……..HAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA! What happened to your face!!!! You look more ridicules than Kakashi in a duck costume!" She looked over at the students and spotted Akiri right away.
"Akiri, I hereby name you the official most hilarious person I have met. Nice job on his face, the boar looks great and the pink and purple are genius. "
"But Tsunade-sama, I am completely innocent!" Kiri protested with a horrified look on her face. "I had absolutely nothing to do with this and neither did any of these darling children! We were all studying diligently when Ruka-sensei left to go to the bathroom. When he came back, he was covered in those glowing things, the poor man! I wonder if he did them himself or if someone jumped him? We really are free of blame!"
Tsunade looked completely unconvinced and gave the trickster a knowing smile before turning back to Iruka.
"Iruka-san, you are to bring the students over to the room where the written exam will be taken immediately. After that is done, I have an urgent message that needs delivering to all of the active jounin and you are the only one standing in front of me with the afternoon off." Tsunade then turned her back and quickly left the room. (She was having a hard time not laughing anymore. The Hokage was supposed to be respected and serious. She had slipped a little when she came in, but she was determined not to explode into laughter before she was safely locked away in her office.)
Iruka paled when he heard Tsunade's order and slowly turned back to Kiri.
"Kiri, I don't know how you're here, but until this comes off, I refuse to treat you to ramen!"
"AAAAAAAWWWWWW! You're really mean Ruka-kun!" Kiri pouted and stuck her lower lip out, making puppy eyes like a five year old.
Iruka smiled and sighed. He could never stay mad at the girl. She liked ramen and pranks way too much. Naruto had reminded him of his old classmate and now she was reminding him of Naruto. Wow, that thought was really confusing. He decided to just stop comparing the two.
"Hey," he replied, "you're not the one with a mustache and a pink and purple picture of you kissing a boar on your face. Be glad I didn't say I wouldn't buy for a month."
Ugggg! I forgot he actually knows how to buy out of my pranks! Oh well, this chance was too sweet to miss!
"It was entirely your own fault Iruka, you should know better than to scream at me like a little girl and then take a nap in the middle of the floor when I have a sharpie in my pocket. Plus, your students are seriously talented when it comes to humor. They actually have a sense of humor unlike our class! I'm starting to actually like the little dwarfs!" Kiri leaned back in her chair and rested her feet on her table/desk thing, arms folded behind her head and chair resting on two legs. She was fully satisfied that things had been patched up between her and her friend. She would be able to get him to treat her within two days at max. She still hadn't told him what had happened to bring her suddenly back to life and Iruka would take that tidbit, hook, line, and sinker.
Iruka grumbled something about kids being too smart for their own good and then escorted them all out of the classroom and down the hall to another classroom. This one was identical to Iruka's, but was set up with the four exam proctors sitting at a table in front of the room in place of the desk. The one proctor that was identifiable definitely didn't look nice. He was bald on the top of his head and had long, white hair covering the sides and a long, neatly trimmed beard that went down to his belt. His small blue eyes were hidden under more wrinkles and age spots than Tsunade had empty sake bottles. He was obviously not and had probably never been an active ninja by his extreme lack of muscle mass. The second, third, and fourth proctors were obviously ANBU by their masks and had no distinguishing features besides spikey brown hair that they all shared. She knew none of them. The ANBU-as-proctors thing was new, but so far, it seemed not much else had changed since the last time she had taken the exam.
She followed the others as they filed into seats and stared at the paper that had been placed there before they arrived. The proctor with the beard stood up and started droning on about the rules of the exam; no cheating, answer as many questions as they could, two hour time limit, blah, blah, blah. Nothing here had changed since she had taken it, what was it, twenty one years ago? Geezes, either being a ninja hadn't changed much or the proctors were just lazy bums.
The proctor gave the word and the test started. Akiri blazed through the test and finished within half an hour. They had only changed a total of four questions on the entire test. Only the last different one had thrown her off and it was in the history of Konoha section. She had been so surprised when she came to it that she nearly fell off her chair.
What role did Gintora Akiri, the last weapon master of Konoha, play in the defeat of the Kyuubi fox?
She puzzled over it for a moment and decided to answer it to the best of her ability, grinning.
I wonder what they are going to think of my answer.
She wrote a page and a half, minute by minute account of the events of the fight that lead up to her death and gave a detailed analysis of the multiple injuries that had caused it. She spent the whole essay question grinning evilly. Whoever graded this test was either going to have an aneurism, or accuse her of cheating if they didn't actually look at the name at the top of her paper. She pitied them, a little.
But I am going to have to have a little talk with Iruka-kun or Tsunade-sama. WHO IN THE WORLD AUTHORIZED THEM TO MAKE MY LIFE INTO A HISTORY LESSON!! HISTORY IS OFFICALLY THE MOST BORING SUBJECT IN THE WORLD, I WOULD RATHER HAVE MY LIFE TURNED INTO A CHILDREN'S PLAY ABOUT A CHICKEN FOR KAMI-SAMA'S SAKE!!!
She quickly finished the rest of the test questions and sat back to relax. The proctors wouldn't even start collecting the test for another thirty minutes. She promptly turned her test over and fell asleep on top of it, her head resting on her arms.
The ugly old proctor for the exam was stunned when one of the students seemed to fall asleep only a quarter of the way into the time allotted for the test. He had looked over the test to make sure that all of the questions were quite hard for the future genin and had thought it would at least take an hour and a half for even the smartest of them to finish. He had stood at the front of the classroom since the test had begun; making sure no one was cheating and had not seen her even attempt to peek at her neighbors' papers. He marched straight up the stairs that split the tiered desks into two sections and came to stand right behind the girl. She had shoulder length straight black hair that seemed to have silver streaks running through it, and she was wearing a strange sash that had a large metal plate on the back and he suspected a matching one on the front. He was about to ask her what she thought she was doing, sleeping during the exam when she did something that took him way off guard.
With a fluid motion too quick for the geezer to see, she lifted her head, stood up, and stared directly into his eyes with ones that were electric blue. That wasn't the most shocking thing though. She had slit-like pupils that looked they belonged to a cat and she held a kunai to his throat. She had not intended to use the kunai, but she never liked a threat to stand behind her and her instincts clearly marked this man as someone who would hurt her.
He stared at her in amazement for a second before speaking in a sneering, and overall quite annoying voice.
"Miss, I am ordering you to hand over your kunai and give me your test, as is. You have been disrespectful in sleeping during the exam and it will not be tolerated. Your incomplete paper will be graded like all the others if it has any answers on it at all."
Kiri glared at the man with absolute fury. This man had the audacity to order her to give up her weapon and had tried to embarrass and shame her in front of everyone else in the room. Her blue eyes flashed and almost glowed as she continued staring into his eyes for a long three heart beats before she took one step back and held the kunai out to him, point first.
"Oh don't worry about my paper proctor-san. I assure you my test is fully completed and with a grade of at least one hundred percent. And that's if the person grading it doesn't see fit to give me quite a few extra points." She practically hissed the words through her teeth.
The proctor had the decency to hesitate before taking the kunai, but then snatched it away like he was taking a toy away from a toddler. She smoothly handed him her test from the desk behind her, still glaring at his face and handed that to him as well.
"Your impudence will be noted." The proctor growled and then started back down the stairs.
"I would apologize, truly I would." Akiri said in a voice that was closer to her normal tone, but still held a good amount of hostility. "But I'm afraid that I have a terrible problem with authority figures. Especially when they are arrogant bastards that don't deserve to teach the young ninja of any village, much less those of the village I call home."
Kiri sat down and replaced her head on her arms as if the incident had never happened. The proctor stared at her sleeping form for a few seconds before stalking back down to his place in the front of the room.
The other students had been watching the spectacle and were outraged at how the proctor had treated their class idol. They glared at his back as he walked away from them. Kaitoru met eyes with several of the other students and nodded. They would definitely tell someone about this. Probably Iruka-sensei, he and Kiri-san seemed to be friends of some sort. The other students nodded in agreement and turned back to their tests, still fuming.
When the old proctor announced that time was up, everyone had submitted a completed test, much to the spiteful man's annoyance. He grumbled something inaudible and undoubtedly unpleasant and led the students to the next part of the exam, weapons. The second proctor was an ANBU with a wolf mask and he walked with them to the practice grounds. The other two ANBU seemed to have disappeared at the end of the written exam.
Every one of the students gave the old proctor a wide berth and seemed very annoyed. Kiri noticed.
"Guys." she whispered to them so the proctor couldn't hear, "Relax. If you're so annoyed with one proctor that you can't throw straight, you're going to fail the next section of the exam."
"But—"one of the kids protested
"No buts. I won't have a single one of you fail because of me. Besides, how would you have time to be my prank crew if you have to repeat? I will be very disappointed if you all fail and I have to prank that bastard on my own." Kiri's Cheshire smile convinced them and they all nodded in agreement.
"No way are we going to let one grumpy old man keep us from becoming genin! Let's do this!" Kaitoru whispered determinedly as they reached their destination. It was a large field at the edge of the village that was set up with several kunai targets and five training posts off to the left side.
The old proctor left (which helped everyone's happiness) and left them with the wolf ANBU.
Said ANBU cleared his throat to get their attention before giving them the instructions for the weapons exam. They were to throw five kunai and five shuriken at the training target that was about one hundred feed across the field. At least three of each had to hit the red dot in the middle, which was about four inches in diameter, for them to pass. They all formed a line behind the throwing point and took out their weapons. Kiri went to the end; she was starting to get bored with this whole exam thing. The weapons test was a new addition, and a good idea, but for Kami-sama's sake, why were they making her take it? She was at least jounin level when she died and had spent a year living in the woods around the village to train herself back up to her former skill, and higher. This was kind of like asking a master chef to make oatmeal, and she was getting sick of oatmeal. The line got shorter and shorter as all of the students took their turn. It seemed that they were a pretty good group and not one of them failed to get at least three of the five sharp projectiles to hit the target, though no one had gotten a perfect five. Finally, after about twenty minutes of standing in line, Akiri was finally the last one up.
She walked up to the line where they were required to throw from.
"Name." the proctor asked in a complete monotone.
"Gintora Akiri"
The proctor looked up and stared at her for a minute.
"The Hokage has requested that from this point on you take a personalized examination. Please follow me. The rest of you," he gestured at the other students who were waiting in a crowd off to the side, "will proceed on to the next test with the other proctor."
He turned around and walked into the forest that surrounded the training ground on three sides. Akiri looked back at the other kids. They looked puzzled at this new development, but she dispelled their curiosity with a smile and a wave as she started off after the ANBU. They walked at a brisk pace away from the training area, through a dense stand of forest. It seemed to be taking a while to get to wherever they were going and Kiri started getting bored. No large animals lived this close to the village and the animals that did stayed well out of sight. The only signs of life around them were the occasional bird flying overhead or the sound of some animal quietly retreating away from them. The ANBU had not said another word after they left the training ground and had not looked back at her. Kiri sighed, ANBU hadn't changed at all. They were still a bunch of stiffs with absolutely no sense of humor.
Just my luck. Can't he even tell me where we're going? Or start a decent conversation? Even if he randomly attacked me it would be better than this mind numbing silence. I don't' mind it when it's needed on a mission or something, but otherwise, silence is only good for those with overly sensitive ears. Since this instance falls into none of these categories, I have officially deemed it annoying. Time to end it, even if I have to have a conversation with myself.
"So, where are we going?" Kiri asked the silent figure in front of her.
"The Hokage has informed me that you have a rather… unorthodox skill. I am to test the parameters of this skill and decide whether or not it is an asset to this village and appropriate for use on missions that you would undertake as a genin. Since she has also informed me that this skill can cause damage to the surrounding area, you will be taking the test in one of the more remote training areas."
"And which one would that be?" Kiri remembered only a few actually remote training grounds in Konoha and had been to all of them at some point, but some she was more familiar with than others.
"Training area 44, also known as the Forest of Death." The ANBU was still speaking in that annoying monotone.
"What kinds of tests will I be taking?" Kiri tried to wheedle some more information out of the masked figure.
"You will find out when we arrive." The ANBU replied.
He refused to elaborate further and they continued again in silence. They traveled for about another mile before they reached the fence surrounding the intended training ground.
Well, it hasn't changed much. The trees still look like they want to kill me and there are still giant animals that want to do the same, from what I can hear. Yup, it's definitely the Forest of Death. I wonder what would happen if I managed to get Tsunade to officially change the name to the Forest of Killer Daisies? Kiri chuckled to herself at the last thought as she and her proctor leaped over the fence and started striding from tree to tree.
They hadn't gotten much bigger from the last time she had been there over twenty years ago, but they were still huge. They traveled towards the tower in the center of the forest for a little while until they reached a clearing. They both stopped at the edge and cautiously looked around. It was relatively large and was completely clear of all underbrush and trees. It looked relatively flat and the grass was short, like it had been purposely cut. There was a winding stream bordering it to the left and a pile of large boulders on the opposite side. Kiri quickly surveyed the area for all possible advantages she might gain from it, but found none. It seemed to have been carefully constructed to avoid giving advantages to either side.
Kiri grinned.
"Well, lets get going already. We don't want to miss dinner and the day isn't getting any shorter."
The ANBU nin nodded and they walked to the center of the clearing.
"Hey ANBU-san, do you think you could tell me what I'm supposed to call you?"
The ANBU remained silent. Kiri's eye started to twitch; she was getting annoyed at all this seriousness. Couldn't the guy at least have the manners to answer her questions or say that he couldn't? At least she knew it was a guy from his voice, the black cloak that was covering his uniform did little to hint at the wearer's gender.
"Okay, since you will not give me a name to call you by, I will give you one. Until the end of this test or you tell me otherwise, I will call you…. " She thought for a second, " Flower-chan!!!"
The ANBU sweat dropped under his mask. He hadn't been given a name for this "mission" and hadn't expected to need one. Akiri had turned out to be nothing like he had expected from what he had read on her from the history scrolls. They had all portrayed her as a serious, extremely skilled, slightly heroic figure that had bravely given her life in the battle against the fearsome Kyuubi. Instead, he found this fifteen year old, well, kid. She actually reminded him of a certain blond haired ninja who was currently out training with the toad sanin, Jiraya. She had an overactive sense of humor and actually tried to joke with an ANBU. She didn't even seem the least bit intimidated by him. Oh well, nothing is as it seems, and apparently history books did a very poor job of describing people's personalities. He turned to face the girl and began the "test".
"Tsunade-sama informed me that you have a new technique, but she did not specify what that technique is. She said that you yourself would better explain it and that I would better understand it if you showed it to me. If you would please do so." The ANBU instructed in his usual business monotone.
Akiri was not surprised to hear that Tsunade had neglected to mention what her power was. If someone had told her about it fifteen years ago, she would have promptly asked if the person had been drinking and shown him the way to the Konoha Hospital.
Akiri began her explanation.
"Alright. This is better understood if you hear the whole story. Why don't you sit down?"
'Flower-chan' did so with as much dignity as he could manage. Kiri sat down facing him and crossed her legs.
"I was killed in the final battle with the Kyuubi fifteen years ago as you well know. After that point, my story is only known to Tsunade-san. As she has ruled this information to be classified information, you must not discuss this with anyone besides Tsunade-san or myself. Approximately one year ago, I woke up in a giant test tube in one of Orochimaru's abandoned hideouts. I did not recall any events between my death and then. I broke out of the tube, but was unable to escape due to heavy blood loss when I severed an artery in my back on the broken glass. I passed out shortly after. I awoke in a different part of the hideout on a cot; my injuries bandaged and scabbed over. I do not know how long I was unconscious, but I would estimate it at about a week. A man by the name of Sasuke Uchiha cared for me for about a month while I recovered my strength. He had been sent to the hide out by Orochimaru to destroy all evidence of his previous experimentation with necromancy. Neither Orochimaru nor Sasuke himself expected to find any of the experiments to be either alive or successful. Sasuke cared for me for the duration of my stay and during that time, expressed a desire to return to Konoha before falling victim to becoming his master's next body. I believed and do still believe that this desire was sincere. We made a bargain. Sasuke would provide me with information regarding the whereabouts of Orochimaru's various bases and his plans regarding Konoha and I would lead a team to retrieve him when I returned to Konoha. After I had recovered to full strength, we destroyed all traces of both Orochimaru's experimentation and my new existence. Sasuke returned to Orochimaru to keep up appearances until I was able to return. Although I fully recovered my skills as a ninja were rusty and I set myself to retraining my body for when I returned to Konoha. I trained in the remote areas of Fire country where I was not likely to be discovered. About a week into my self-imposed training, I attempted to use my summoning. Unfortunately, I poured more chakra into it than I normally would or could have. I have trained by body to siphon off my extra chakra during times of peace and store it in my forehead as Tsunade-san has to some extent. For some reason, my body had been doing so ever since my death. How that happened, I do not know, but all of the chakra I had stored went into the summoning and I did not get the tiger that I had intended to summon. I instead managed to summon Kurobi. Kurobi is the twelve-tailed tiger demon. No I do not know how there came to be a twelve-tailed beast and neither has Kuro-san seen fit to enlighten me on the subject. Anywho, Kuro-san appeared, which was quite a surprise since he is a giant white tiger about twelve feet taller than the Kyuubi. He and I had a conversation and he decided that residing in the ethereal plane was a very boring existence and that he would have more fun if he was bound to me. He bound himself to me willingly. I became a Jinchuuriki, trained a lot and then came back to Konoha. My powers are the result of his binding. Every biju is associated with one element which it can control completely. Of the ones you know of, Shukaku's element is sand, obviously, and the Kyuubi's is fire. Kurobi-san's element is metal. As his container, I share his power over metal, among other things.
Kiri stood up and reached into her pockets. She took out two metal rings and snapped them onto her wrists. They fit snugly and were about two inches wide and sort of resembled shackles without the chains. They were made of a mixture of different metals, but were mainly steel and silver.
Flower-chan was still sitting on the ground, trying to absorb the information overload. He believed her, but it was having a lot of trouble wrapping his mind around it.
"Flower-chan, are you alright? You look like you've gone brain dead. And you're mask is falling off."
He hadn't noticed the mask and he snapped out of his daze and quickly pushed the mask back into place.
"Alright," he said in a completely flat voice, "So you can control metal. Would you mind demonstrating your usual fighting style so I can put it in your profile? It could also help if you could describe the other attributes that you have gained from, um, Kurobi-san. I have a basic knowledge of the other Jinchuuriki's abilities and they are widely different from one another, so it is likely yours are too."
Kiri sighed.
Great, more explanations. This is getting to be really boring. I think I'd actually rather be taking the regular genin exam. Can't the guy even talk without the monotone?
She stepped back from the seated form in front of her and dropped into a basic taijutsu stance.
"Flower-chan, I think it would be more helpful to you if you actually sparred with me. I feel really weird fighting invisible air ninjas and I tend to hurt myself if I try to."
Flower-chan nodded in agreement and stood, mimicking her stance.
"You move Flower-chan." Kiri invited.
The wolf ANBU swiftly closed the gap between them and aimed a punch at her stomach…which suddenly wasn't there. He spun around quickly, searching for where in the world she might have gone. He spotted on the edge of the clearing, sitting on the low hanging branch of a tree.
She's fast! I wasn't even able to make contact! For her to have dodged that punch so easily, her speed must be at at least jounin level, if not higher!
Flower-chan's stance betrayed none of his surprise as he remained in the middle of the field and waited. If she wanted to spar, she would have to come to him.
Kiri jumped down from the branch and landed with catlike grace on her hands and feet.
He's holding back his speed. He would have gotten me or at least clipped me if he wasn't.
She stood slowly, careful that none of her movement betrayed her plan. Then she flashed forward, barely a blur, and stopped behind the now thoroughly surprised Flower-chan. He barely had time to face her before he had to block a lightning fast axe kick to his head. He grunted with the effort and his arm was shaking.
Damn, she's strong too. That coupled with her speed is going to be difficult to counter. If I block her too many more times I'm likely to end up with broken limbs. I'll have to dodge as much as I can.
Kiri quickly recovered and followed up with a kick to his ribs. He hurriedly stepped back to avoid it and countered with one of his own. She easily evaded it and flipped backwards to gain some distance.
"Your taijutsu is definitely up to par. Would you mind if we moved on to other skills, I did not anticipate having to spar and as such I am not prepared. Demonstration should suffice for everything else."
The stoic ANBU relaxed his stance as Kiri did the same. He returned to the middle of the field and sat down expectantly.
"You know what? You are too emotionless for your own good. I refuse to demonstrate further unless you agree to do two things. First, drop the monotone. I am not a little kid to be intimidated by it so you may as well. Second, you have to do something, anything, to make me laugh within two minutes or I am walking back to the Academy right now whether you like it or not! Life is too short to act like an emotionless, walking corpse. I should know. Now lighten up, or enjoy dealing with Tsunade-san when she finds out what happened." Kiri shifted her weight and crossed her arms. She had every intention of doing just as she said.
Flower-chan thought over what she had said and came to the grudging conclusion that she had him in a corner. He definitely didn't want to tell Tsunade-sama that he had not completed his assignment, he wasn't sure he would survive. She had a tendency to yell loud enough that his brain felt like it was going to turn to mush. Now all he had to do was do something funny…and drop the monotone. Boy, she couldn't have made it easy could she? The voice had become a definite habit and he couldn't remember the last time he actually made someone laugh while he was on duty.
"Okay," He said with obviously awkward happiness. It was quite obvious he wasn't used to doing so, but it sounded genuine.
"I agree. I do not wish to have my brain melted by Tsunade-sama's yelling if I don't complete this assignment. I need my brain for other things, such as figuring out how in the world I am supposed to make someone laugh while I'm wearing a mask, eating, sleeping, crosswords, that sort of thing, you know. "
He put his hand to his chin/mask in an attempt to look like he was thinking while his brain went into overload trying to think of something funny.
Hmmmmmmmmmm. Idea, Idea, Idea, Idea, Idea, Idea, Idea, Idea. Need an idea. Ummmmmmmm. Ha! Got it! Hopefully it works!
Kiri was still standing off to the side of the field, arms crossed and looking at him expectantly. He swiftly turned his back on her and started to fiddle with his mask.
Kiri was puzzled. The silent ANBU had had his back turned for around a minute and she still couldn't figure out what he was going to do. She relaxed and uncrossed her arms, smiling. It would definitely be interesting to see what the guy came up with.
Finally the stoic figure turned around and Kiri started. He had turned his wolf ANBU mask upside down and it was pretty apparent from the fact that he was facing about two feet to her left that he couldn't see anything whatsoever. She giggled. It was kind of funny.
He heard her giggle and turned the rest of the way to face her, slightly embarrassed that he had been looking in the wrong direction. Then he did something that did something that left Kiri absolutely speechless and dumbfounded.
He started dancing… and singing.
He put his hand on his hip and lifted the other to shoulder height and promptly began a loud and tuneful rendition of "I'm a little teapot".
Kiri stood with her mouth gaping as the mysterious ANBU ninja sang and did all of the motions of the silly dance. He ended with a flourish as he stood up from "pouring out" and waited for her reaction.
Kiri's brain was still frozen and her mouth hung wide open, staring at the man she had thought to be one of the only people she had ever met to not have any sort of personality whatsoever. Plus, the fact that he was ANBUdidn't help at all with comprehension. All of the ANBU guys that she had met before had had no sense of humor whatsoever, and here was one doing the teapot dance!
ANBU………Doing……..dancing…….singing……..I'M A LITTLE TEAPOT!!!!!
Kiri burst out laughing and fell to the ground, sides heaving and laughing so hard that she could hardly breathe. She couldn't stop, it was just so …..Absurd!
Flower-chan watched her and chuckled to himself. This girl definitely did know how to cheer people up, including herself. She had been looking bored and frustrated ever since they had arrived in the Forest of Death and he suspected it was partially his fault. He knew he didn't have a basket load of emotions and when he actually felt them, he rarely showed them. It was really hard to communicate emotion from behind a mask anyways, so he had never bothered trying. He hadn't even realized that he had been so, well, emotionless until Akiri had made him laugh.
Kami-sama, how long has it been since I actually laughed. I can't even remember. That's certainly depressing. And look at Akiri. She's died for Kami's sake and she's still laughing! Maybe I should try to laugh more often, she certainly seems happier than I am.
Kiri finally managed to contain herself (to an extent) and sat up, watching her proctor. He seemed to be deep in thought, from his relaxed stance. She didn't like ANBU masks. Sure they were unique and creative and mysterious and all that, but you could never have a real conversation with someone who didn't' have any facial expressions. You could never tell what they were thinking.
Kiri stood up and walked over to the masked figure. He didn't appear to notice and continued thinking. She grinned and waved a hand in front of his still upside down mask.
"Hellooooo, ANBU –san! Wake up! I thought you wanted to see me play with metal!"
He quickly snapped his thoughts back to reality and nodded. Kiri giggled.
"You know, it might help you watch better if your mask was right side up. It's probably pretty hard to watch something when you can't see it."
He had completely forgotten and quickly turned his mask around.
"Alrighty then! " Kiri said excitedly. She walked backwards a few steps to get some distance from the man. What happened next alarmed, scared, and amazed him.
She started glowing!
She had a faint, electric purple layer of chakra surrounding her body which was subtly changing before his eyes. Long claws grew where fingernails had once been. Her already slightly-more-pointy-than-normal canines lengthened into fangs that stretched down, nearly to her bottom jaw, as she gave a wide, toothy grin. Her blue eyes seemed to glow like the chakra around her and thin, black lines drew themselves around her eyes. The layer of chakra behind her stretched out a tendril and formed a purple, glowing tail behind her. What was most surprising though, was that she seemed to remain in complete control of herself. The ANBU had heard about what happened when Naruto, the Kyuubi-container, lost control of the demon. He would go down on all fours like a fox and would start to relinquish control of his body to the demon inside of him. Yet here was another Jinchuuriki who seemed completely unphased by the change and seemed to be in complete control. She didn't attack everything in sight; she didn't even seem to be angry! He thought that anger or extreme loss was what allowed a Jinchuuriki's demon to gain control over the container. Well, that idea was apparently wrong, from what he was seeing. Either that or she had some way of keeping her demon in check.
She's…. she…How...What?
"Please explain." He stated, careful to put some emotion in his voice, but tried and failed miserably to hide his complete confusion.
"Explain what?" Kiri asked like glowing purple and having claws and a tail was completely normal.
"You are obviously using your demon's chakra, yet you are clearly in full control. The Jinchuuriki of the nine tailed fox, Uzumaki Naruto, has a very hard time maintaining control over the Kyuubi even when he's using only one tail of its power. If he uses any more than that, he loses almost all control over his body and the Kyuubi takes over his actions. Yet here you are, using the Juunibi's power, completely controlled like it's an everyday occurrence. How?"
Kiri thought over what he had said about the Kyuubi container.
The Kyuubi takes control of his body forcibly? Kuro and I are going to have to talk to the stupid fox. Even an unwillingly bound demon shouldn't take over like that. I wonder what's up with her?
/"Kyuubi's making trouble again?"\ Kuro said silently in her head. /"Geeze, something must have royally pissed her off for her to do that to a kid. That doesn't sound like her. Either the kid is seriously evil, or something happened that we have yet to find out about. It would be a good idea to talk to her. Ask Mr. Serious over there if he knows about where the kid is. We need to talk to Kyuubi before something serious happens. Oh yeah, and I totally approve of Iruka's makeover. You need to get mad at people more often. The resulting pranks are hilarious. Maybe that baka proctor for the written exam…"\
I agree one hundred percent, but we'll leave plans for later around less serious people. Maybe I can even recruit those dwarfs; they did a pretty good job on Iruka. Okay, back to reality.
"Alright, here's the short version. All Jinchuuriki have the ability to merge with their demon. As they merge further with their demon, they are able to access more of its strength. It also merges their personalities. The percentage of the way that a Jinchuuriki can merge with their demon is usually measured in how many of its "tails" they can use. If they go beyond the limit of their control, their consciousness starts to merge with that of their demon. If they go too far beyond the point where their and their demon's personalities start to merge, it may be impossible to separate them again. It seems, though, that Uzumaki Naruto has either angered his demon greatly, or something horrific happened to the Kyuubi that she feels that the boy is responsible. There is no other explanation that I can think of that a demon would hurt their container and forcibly take control of them. Despite the general opinion, demons are, for the most part, fair and peaceful creatures. They do not attack villages or slaughter hundreds without a superbly good reason. Both Kuro and I have puzzled over the Kyuubi's actions, but we have concluded that we cannot understand them without talking to the demon herself. We would also be most grateful if you could tell us where to find him. If strong emotions allow the Kyuubi to take control, it is possible that he is a great danger to the village depending on his disposition."
Her proctor thought over her explanation. It seemed that her demon, Kuro, was most willing to discuss information with her and so far as she had told him, was neither a monster nor in any way benevolent towards the village or his container. This new information would be very useful in the future and if she could teach the blond hyperactive ninja to control the Kyuubi, it would be a great sigh of relief for the village.
"Uzumaki Naruto has been out of the village, training with Tsunade-sama's fellow Sanin, Jiraya, for two years. Coincidentally he is due to return tomorrow with his mentor. I will discuss with the Hokage what may be done concerning you helping him with the Kyuubi. As for the boy, he is a lot like you. His nickname in the village is Konoha's most unpredictable ninja. During the Academy, he was the most troublesome prankster since you, um, died, though he didn't go as far as hanging the Third upside down from the mountainside. He has struggled with growing up alone, since most of the villagers hate him because they think he is the demon incarnate. However, he seems to have overcome his loneliness and has found friends and become a great ninja. He never gives up, his dream is to be the Hokage and he loves ramen. Basic summary of his personality would be determined, hyperactive, and basically a goofball. He seems to have talent, despite this and his completely un-ninja like taste for orange clothing. At least this is what I have heard from ninjas who have worked with him or known him as I have never met him myself."
Kiri immediately took a liking to the boy from the description. He seemed like he was a nice kid and was definitely like her in quite a few ways. Well, at least as far as the pranks, ramen, and "un-ninja" like taste for florescent colored clothing, though hers was blue.
"Hey ANBU-san, would it be possible for me to meet the kid? He seems okay and I'm curious to see how he survived with a rampaging angry demon inside him up until now. How old is he?"
"Fifteen." the wolf man said with conviction. "He was born the day that the Fourth gave up his life to bind the fox inside of him."
"Wait, this guy is my age?!?"
"Yes, is there something wrong?"
"No, I'm just surprised." Kiri answered guardedly. Inside her mind was reeling with curiosity. She HAD to meet this Naruto now. Could they be friends? Could she help him with the Kyuubi? Endless streams of questions rolled through her head.
She quickly suppressed them and gestured to the wolf ANBU.
"So, are you going to watch me, or are we going to stand around all day?" Kiri said, breaking the thoughtful silence and returning the subject to the task at hand.
The ANBU nodded and stepped back to observe. Kiri remained in the middle of the field, trying to figure out what she could do that wouldn't look like she was just jumping around with a bunch of sharp metal objects. Since he wasn't willing to spar, she guessed she would have to leave the close range weapons for a later time, demonstrating those without an opponent who knew what they were doing was dangerous for the other person, plus he wouldn't be able to accurately judge her skills unless he was very skilled with all the weapons she used. She highly doubted that he was, she used a wide range of weapons, from battle-axes to katanas, to zanbatou.
Long range it is then. Hey look, there's a tree over there that has utterly destroy me written all over it. Target found.
Kiri walked halfway across the clearing to a large tree near the stream, unclipping one of her metal bracelets as she went.
"Well, let's do long range attacks. Unless you're skilled in katana, zanbatou, battle-axes, naginata, and staffs, it wouldn't work to have you asses me on close range skills. I tend to start out with one weapon and move from one to another at fast paces, so it would most likely be best if I get assessed by a weapons master on that aspect." She said and tossed the heavy ring in the air. It was a lot heavier than it looked, since it had nearly 200 pounds of various metals compressed into it.
It flew about 100 feet into the air, and then broke apart into a cloud of thousands of kunai-sized pieces of sharp, jagged shrapnel. Kiri raised her hands to shoulder height, fingers spread. The shrapnel rose and then swarmed like a boatload of angry bees and sped straight at the silent, defenseless tree as Kiri swept her hands down, directing them. The tree didn't stand the chance of a bag of chips in Choji's hand as the shrapnel crashed into it and swarmed around it, shredding it and sending sawdust and splinters flying everywhere. When the dust finally cleared, there was nothing left of the tree but a stump, completely flat on top with Kiri's name clearly carved into it, and surrounded by various chunks of wood, sawdust, and leaves.
The ANBU walked over to examine the remains and was deeply impressed by the utter destruction of the tall plant. That is, until he saw the leaves lying around the trunk. Each one had a perfect little death kanji carved into it. At that point, he decided that he definitely did not want this girl to get angry at him. He had glimpsed Iruka's…predicament through the door to the testing classroom, though the chuunin was clearly trying to stay out of sight. That, combined with this solidified his position even more. She was clearly extremely precise with her control of her element. He smiled. Anyone who went up against her seriously would definitely remember it for the rest of their lives, if they managed to escape with it intact.
Kiri had remained standing where she had been, watching him inspect the pile of woodchips with her arms crossed. He was being boring and quiet again.
Okay, let's mix it up. Just destroying defenseless trees is way too easy and absolutely no fun at all. I wonder what he would do if I…. Yup, definitely have to see his reaction to this little present.
She quietly called the jagged pieces of shrapnel back to her and formed a ball of the metal in between her outstretched hands. The ANBU guy was still staring down at the ground and didn't notice anything amiss, his back turned to her. Too bad for him. Kiri pushed the hovering ball into the air towards the unsuspecting dark figure and it sped at the man's back and spread out, growing tendrils that reached out towards him. Kiri's Cheshire grin once again graced her face.
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Yay Its finally done! :D
thanks for reading
and a super-ginormous thanks to xx Kitty-girl xx, You made my day/week/possibly month (my first review ever!)
Kudos and cookies to all.
Next time: More sharpie, teammates, lots of falling off of stools, and a hello kitty spider ring.