Kat cusses to herself. Of course he's not responding. All you've left is VOICE messages! She googles "apps for the deaf" and scrolls through the resulting matches. She downloads the Dragon Dictation speech-to-text app and converts all of her voice mails. Unfortunately, the app is not perfect, and some of its gaffes are worth a hearty chuckle. "I win, what's my prize?" becomes "I win, stroke my thighs!" Then again, maybe the app is not so much making mistakes, but rather, cutting to the chase.

Damon's eyes widen at the sudden influx of texts from Kat. He has one month's worth of voice mails from her and others that he has not yet processed through Dragon Dictation. He skims her texts, which together form a novel. A compelling novel that is witty and well written. The English Lit major finds himself liking her style, a reprieve from all the fucking gloom and doom.

Eternal Stud: Oh, stop being cute ;)

Kitty Kat: Not possible :)= Did you go running back to Elena? She punched you in the face ...

Eternal Stud: Not to worry, Elena and I are on a bit of a break. Let's just say Elena and I are having a bit of a difference of opinion on how I should behave.

Kitty Kat: Her loss.

Kat clutches at her heart. Damon's acknowledgment should relieve her, not flip her heart into arrhythmia. As sadistic as it sounds, if this is how love feels, she never wants it to stop.

Elena gulps Ric's mystery juice. Blech. How hard is it to make a tasty, nutritious juice? Very hard, apparently. John, Jenna, Jeremy, Bonnie, Caroline, Matt, Tyler, Kol, Klaus, and Ric have all tried and failed the last month. Elena finally gives the blender a whirl herself. She crams different fruits and veggies in, without regards to complimentary combinations or other such "details." The outcome is just as disgusting as everyone else's attempts. Ric, conveniently missing during her experiment, resurfaces with another juice attempt. To start, the colour, a pastel orange, is much more aesthetically pleasing. She takes a sip, and pineapple, banana, and coconut greet her taste buds. Delish. Her eyebrows arch at him, silently skeptical of his sudden mad skills. "From a local guy," he simply replies.

Ric tosses back a shooter himself. The last month has turned him into an alcoholic squared. He spends all day training Elena. By training, he means everything. Physical sparring in boxing, muay thai, wrestling, jiu-jitsu, and traditional karate. Strength and conditioning. Exercising. Feeding. Setting sleep patterns. Chauffeuring. Laundering. Braiding hair. Whatever Elena needs. He spends all night debating Damon. Damon is all over the fucking place and still not sure he did anything wrong. Damon, my idiot best friend. Maybe idiot is too harsh. Ric himself took some time to fully understand and accept Elena's angle. He even had to dust off and consult one of Isobel's old textbooks.

That night, Ric locates Damon in the kitchen, trying new juice recipes. Ric would have involved Damon sooner, but he was not sure how Elena would react. She seems to be alright, grateful even. One less thing to worry about. Damon is busy blending when his phone flashes to signal a received text. Nosy Ric peeks at the sender's name. Kitty Kat. Who the hell? No way. Katherine Pierce? He views the text. "It's stuffy. I've been in this rashguard for days. Wanna help me get out of it? ;)" Oh hell no. Ric shoves the phone at Damon's face. Damon reads and chuckles until he sees Ric's face.

"What I think is you need to take a beat," Ric commands. He wants Elena to focus 100% on her fight. She has been struggling enough as it is. What if the UFC Primetime cameras catch Damon and Kat together? Those wolves are out for blood. Elena would be desecrated beyond repair. Training Kat was a onetime deal. Any contact now would just be fraternizing with the enemy.

Damon assures Ric that nothing out of line is happening with Kat. Just harmless flirting. Damon and Kat are not going to see each other. Just texting. Seriously, where does everyone get off? Every single fucking thing he does, every single fucking word that comes out of his mouth, every single fucking breath he takes, seems to offend or piss someone off. He does not dignify Ric with a response. Whatever. Judgy McJudgertons need to stop judging!

Ric knows better than to incite Damon further. Damon is a one small push away from lashing out, big-time. He would probably explicitly invite UFC Primetime to tape him and Kat doing the nasty, just to spite everyone. Or something equally ridiculous. Really, my idiot best friend. Ric needs backup. He is afraid he himself is going to go batshit on UFC Primetime. He seriously considers doing it on purpose, just to deflect attention away from his two stars.

Author's Note: Thank you for the feedback, follows, and favourites. Special thanks to Debbie1689 and vamomoftwins.